Scabies
One of my first jobs was making false teeth. Sounds mad, but it was actually a great laugh. Just three or four guys in a lab, smoking doobies and listening to the radio all day. The job was piss easy, but the hours were long.
A few months after I joined, they hired me an 'assistant' (someone willing to do all the shit for less money than me).
The lab was long, thin and a kinda L shape. My mate was down the other end, so on newbies first day I sent him to my mate with a request for some stripey chalk (hoping he'd come back saying that matie only had spotted).
Anyway, after about five minutes he still hasn't come back so I go to check on him. My mate had him writing out a list of things to go and purchase. It was the usual sort of items for such a list (glass hammer etc).
He was gone for hours. Every shop he went to didn't clue him up on the gag, but directed him to another place that might be stoking the items.
When he came back he was distraught and close to tears (bless... fuckwit). His mum complained to our boss the next day.
We also got in trouble with his mum after we talked about muff diving as if it was scuba. He'd told us that he was going on holiday somewhere in the med, so we told him it was a good place to find muffs this time of year.
He'd rushed home that night to tell his mum all about it, he was THAT excited.
Poor little monkey boy didn't stay with us too long. He developed a red, scaly rash all over his body. Turns out he was allergic to nearly all the chemicals we used in the lab.
It was after we nicknamed him 'Scabies' that he finally cracked and never came back.
This was 20 years ago now and I bet he still lives at home with his mum.

Bless...

Fuckwit.
(EvilMeister, Thu 10 May 2007, 16:09, Reply)