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Back from the pub.
I was gonna make tuna salad. Nope. Fucking Landlady's taken all my salady stuff.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:50, archived)

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:52, archived)
No. I've already told you, there was none there.
This is a LACK of foood thread. mongy, do try to keep up.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:53, archived)
Have you got a sponsor you could call about your foood problem?

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:54, archived)
I'll just check.
Yeah, it says my sponsor is one Mr M Chops.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:56, archived)
Oh, I've got fish fingers in the freezer.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:02, archived)
Arse biscuits, the mad old bag has used all my fucking bread for birdfood.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:03, archived)
torch the place

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:54, archived)
Nah, I don't want to deal with the consequences.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:55, archived)
kick her in the fanny
that's the only option left
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:01, archived)
Fuck no. I have to mop up piss from the bathroom floor at least once a day as it is.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:04, archived)
Funny you should mention a lack of food: I've just come back from the supermarket.
There was a bloke there with a spiderweb tattoo on his elbow, the traditional tattoo you get if you're well 'ard, because it's the most painful place on the body to get tattooed. Except his just went all the way around the dome of his elbow but not over it, so he had a spiderweb with a big hole in it, and looked like a wuss and a muppet.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:08, archived)
People are getting their armpits done, that's supposed to be extremely painfully

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:11, archived)
Seems a bit pointless, though. I mean, you need to shave and lift your arms above your head just so anyone can see it.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:17, archived)
90% of tattoos are shit for cunts tbf.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:20, archived)
They call them Idiot Stamps for a reason.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:42, archived)
Huxley's vison winning over Orwell again, make them think they chose to.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:57, archived)
Why is it that you like all the most horrbile things?

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:25, archived)
Did you see Martin's have a sale on? Go buy a real watch

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:31, archived)
I just read this on my watch!
Used the computer to reply though cos the screen keyboard is a little fiddly
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:43, archived)
Good deal on this, old eta movement but still
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:46, archived)
17 hundred quid for that? It doesn't even have the date on it.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:53, archived)
Old movement, no date, suits you

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:57, archived)
"The Tudor Heritage Black Bay is steeped in the mysterious aura of a hidden bay that gradually yields its secrets to those who venture there, a long-lost treasure returning to the light of day"
I might be more inclined to believe that if it was made of gold instead of stainless steel and leather. Never heard of Tudor but they sound like bigger con-men than that Louis Vuitton prick whose handbags my wife is so fond of.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:57, archived)
They are rolex little brother , were never sold officially in the UK till a couple of years ago, solid watches

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:00, archived)
Get her this
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:03, archived)
Or I could just get her a cheap smartwatch like mine and download a LV watch face for it

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:14, archived)
Think I'll use this one for mine
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:17, archived)
I never liked the dial , day month at 3 o'clock, then date at 6, nah, too busy

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:20, archived)
I suppose there's not really a lot of useful information there, might go for a nice Breitling one that they've added a battery % indicator to.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:29, archived)
I'd try them all, it'll pack up in 3 months

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:33, archived)
All the things I like are GREAT.
You just have shit taste 2 Can.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:39, archived)
I have NEVER felt like a salad after drinking :|

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:24, archived)
Donner kebab no salad, chilli sauce boss ?

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:26, archived)
Exactly, protein and carbs, fuck off with the foliage

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:30, archived)
I dunno, I like a bit of veg in my kebab.
Sometimes you'll stumble upon a place that puts exotic stuff like beetroot and sweetcorn in as well.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:51, archived)
Ah, I'd only had a couple.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 20:00, archived)

make tuna salad. Nope. Fucking toss my
taken all my
y stuff
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:35, archived)
8/10 for effort there 2 Can.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 20:01, archived)