"TONIGHT ON WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IS ON THE BLOB, GONZO WILL BE COOKING SOME FUCKING RISOTTO"
"Thank you yes. I am gonzo and I will be cooking a rizzortoe. To make a risohtow first you must go to 1 stop and buy a tin of rise puding. when you get home remove the tin of riss pudings from the cariar bag. When you have finiched shitting in the carryer bag, pour the rise pudding into an old mycrowwayf. ad garlic a meats and some egg. if you're mickorve haz a plug, heat the mixdure. skowp, serve and eet."
( baldmonkey Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo IS ON THE BLOB!, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 12:57, More)

It's my B3taday
8 years.
(Human, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:01, More)

Weeeeee-eee-eeee-eeeeeell
you know you make me want to grout! (look my hands jumpin') grout! (look my heart's thumpin') grout! (throw my head back) grout! (come on now)
( Flapjack, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 10:15, More)

This is the best thing ever to happen to Adam on b3ta and he's being a prick.
What a cunt.
( mark morrisons prison shoes fruit salad fusilier, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 17:24, More)

frisbee adam is a fucking gay shitcunt prick

(Quinten Oftiweak giving away clicks by request, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 16:35, More)

rachelswipe is a fat, desperate and overreactionary mentalcase

(Quinten Oftiweak giving away clicks by request, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 16:20, More)

give him a 15 meter extension cord to plug his tools into, but it doesn't work
then when he follows the lead to find where it is plugged in it goes out the door, upstairs, into your bedroom and you're on the bed with it plugged into your fanny.
(GluEid Saeed, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 15:51, More)

knock knock
who's there
a monkey
a monkey? what are you doing outside the zoo?
I used monkeys and let myself out, would you like a game of tennis
OK, what are we playing for
bananas
erm...OK, what are we playing with? I don't have any rackets here
it's OK we'll use bananas
but what will we use for balls?
bananas
......how about a net
I think you know what I'm going to say here
oh god, is it too late for me to pretend I'm not in
are there any bananas in your kitchen
maybe, I mean no *cries*
STAND ASIDE
( vladimir, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 15:25, More)

I went in KFC, ordered two small breasts and one leg
and they threw your mum on the counter LOLOLOLOL
( Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 13:42, More)

trying to shag your mum
is like trying to lift up a fur coat and two jumpers out of the way while trying to find an armpit with a roll-on deodorant
( fatpoof, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 13:34, More)

Oh we all know about that story
www.b3ta.com/talk/7309985
( Eddnaked I WROTE A BOOK SEE PROFILE SPAM SPAM SPAM, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:14, More)

i would totally abuse that slut.

( ohuhbouncybonky, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 14:53, More)

yes... I'm fucking JMG
in his bum and everything
( hubare XBOX Gamer tag: hubare | http://twitter.com/hubare, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 14:52, More)

Imagine I said exactly what you said
but in a high pitched voice, so it was clear that I was mocking you.
( Noit is a master of bullying in both ways, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 21:12, More)

Nobody bullies you, you're just really shit. This isn't bullying anymore than stating that it's cold outside is bullying.

( JackAction Poet Laureate of b3ta, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 12:26, More)

Bigga, please

( The Hedgehog From Hell badly-executed and not funny, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 10:49, More)

Yeah my dog tries to get away when I'm feeding him medicine too.

( mike woz ere ASQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:46, More)

Speaking of which; I accidently saw a bit of a "documentary" on "fattism" "last night" on one of the high numbered "channels".
The three main points I picked up on were:
1. It's unfair that fat people are perceived as slobs.
2. Fat people are less employable. This is also unfair.
3. Fashion retailers don't stock larger sizes because they are bullying fat people.

Speaking as someone who is officially obese, I have to say that:
1. It's not unfair that fat people are perceived as slobs. I didn't get this size by being a tri-athelete. I got this fat by being inactive and eating too much. Because I am a slob.
2. It is not unfair that employers don't want to take on fat people. To get as fat as some of these pricks on the programme you'd have to be stupid. No one wants to employ stupid people. And, fat people are off sick more. Why take on someone who is going to be sick all the time when you could have an intelligent person.
3. Retailers are not obliged to stock fat sizes. In a free market, it is not anyone's right to be catered for by EVERY shop. And the fact is fashion retailers lose money when they stock fat sizes. It's a supply and demand thing. It's not bullying, it's wanting to be a viable business. Moreover, if you are that worried about looking nice LOSE SOME FUCKING WEIGHT.
( baldmonkey Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo IS ON THE BLOB!, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 10:45, More)

"Today, I'll be cooking spargetty bollignays. The first thing to do is prepar your tommoties. This is done by boiling the tomartows while doing an shit in a carrier bag..."

( baldmonkey Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo IS ON THE BLOB!, Sun 29 Jan 2012, 19:00, More)

it's EX-STREAM

(GluEid Saeed, Sun 29 Jan 2012, 12:09, More)