» My Worst Date

Micro-penis
When I was in High School there was one REALLY HANDSOME guy; kind of shy, a loner, not into anything I was, but our eyes met and I asked him out. After a few dates, we went to a lovers lane and petted quite heavily. He seemed uneasy with the usual teenage dry humping, I couldn't fathom really why, as I was pretty experienced, so I unzipped him and..........there was nothing there, well, practically. It was the most awkward thing, I think for both of us. It was probably the first time a girl got into his pants and you know he just knew something was wrong because he seemed so ashamed. I felt terrible and tried to get him interested in oral, but it was such a failure. We never went out again. The poor dude.....
(Tue 26th Oct 2004, 11:54, More)

» Shoddy Presents

name a star after someone
For 35 dollars someone named a star after me that was "documented in the US copyright office in book form" (I know this because I must have been hearing the same radio advert for months). Wow, what an honor...an invisible star named Mary. I would rather have watched him take his 35 dollars, flick a lighter and burn it in front of me. That's not even all: for the last two years my husband has forgotten my birthday. Yes, I remind him about a month before and then again at about 9PM of the day in question. Ooops! Sad I am, yes, but he's rich. Guess what I'll be giving him.....
(Sun 26th Sep 2004, 0:57, More)