» Running away

i ran away from ...
... a meaningless life into what i thought was going to be a beautiful everlasting relationship.
then i got hit by a truck


(Fri 11th Aug 2006, 13:20, More)

» Mistaken Identity

i look like my reflection
plus an amalgum of my mum and dad before they got dead old.
(Sun 3rd Jun 2007, 11:48, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

pub prizes
are the best when they come from your mates.

a mate of mine was singing at my local a few years ago and the bar manager thought it'd be a grand idea to offer prizes of free drinks and shit along those lines in mystery envelopes. there were three other major prizes as well. 26 inch colour tv, free breakfasts in the restaurant every day for a year, and a free jug of beer everyday for a year.

over the next few weeks, i won a few goodies, tshirts with pub name on it, a few free beers. all good so far.
then the bar man said to me, the boss has just put the first big prize in with the usual lot tonight. free beer for a year was what i was after. some other lucky bastard won it but crikey i wanted that one. next week i was lucky enough to win the free breakfast for a year, but as i don't eat breakfast (never up in time) it was a waste.
but bugger me with a wet fish, the guy who won the free beer came up to me and asked if i wanted to swap prizes. hell yes i said. apparantly he only drinks burbon and would rather have had a free feed.
result.
so as i'm merrily sucking down free beer everyday after work, the next week was my mates last week at the pub singing and all the remainder of the prizes had to be given out. guess who won the tv that night. yes, me. free beer, free tv and a hangover later i considered myself the luckiest guy in the village.
6 years ago now. haven't won a thing since.
(Wed 20th Sep 2006, 4:21, More)

» The Onosecond

cheap at half the price
got a new cell phone, but with different phone company and couldn't automatically transfer phone book over. so i manually have to do it.
unfortunately, get one digit wrong for mate i'm on the way to see in the uk (from new zealand) i desperately want to shag up the arse.
after about a week of sending txt messages and getting pissed off because of no replies, i get a phone call out of the blue from an irate woman asking me to stop telling her i want to roger her up the arse.
i didn't mind the absue she levelled at me, but positively took great delight in letting her yell at me for over 20 minutes.
i'd love to see the look on her face when she sees how much it cost her to call peak time to my cell all the way from the uk.

could have been an ono moment, but i giggled for a whole day afterwards.

girth. it's all about girth.
(Fri 27th May 2005, 14:25, More)

» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?

via the post
things were going swimmingly, or so i thought. protestations of love all round. usual 20 year old lovers gush.
boy did i get a shock when i returned from a week's worth of visit to my folks to find bf spectatcularly not where i'd left him. his flatmate took particular glee in showing me the postcard they'd got from him in australia saying having a nice time, wish you were here, tell pete i've dumped him.
was all confirmed a week later when photo arrived in email of him inflagrante with another bloke.

(in case you were wondering, bit of an arse bender here)
(Fri 18th Jun 2004, 5:12, More)