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Profile for Ted Cunterblast:
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Hero of the Mary Poppins pr0n sequel - 'It's superflagecunnilingussexpwillycoitus'...

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» Accidental innuendo

Sorry
Personally, I always thought innuendo was an Italian suppository...
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 7:57, More)

» Accidental innuendo

One must always check one's undercarriage....
Many years ago in a galaxy far,far away - or Leicester, to the uninitiated, a pathology class was dedicated to genitourinary tumours - lumps in one's undercarriage - and one particularly unremarkable specimen was asked to describe a disembodied nad, which happened to contain a rather large seminoma (not a pudding, btw).
Not really understanding the question, our hero looks flustered.

"Well, is it enlarged?" asked the lecturer.


"I dunno, I've nothing to compare it to..."


/ I'll get my scrote
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 8:13, More)

» You're a moviestar baby

Honeymooning in Sri Lanka
We'd been deposited in the foyer of an admittedly luxurious jungle hotel by our personal driver (sounds a bit wanky but we were a bit up ourselves in those days), when a group of screming nubile local girls swarmed around us for autographs.
The local TV crew had turned out (although local would have been a 300 mile round trip)

They thought I was Chuck Norris....
(Sun 14th Nov 2004, 23:44, More)

» Best Films Ever

"I was adjusting your breasts... you fainted and they shifted all out of whack"
Dead men don't wear plaid...

/ "what is FoC?"
(Sat 19th Jul 2008, 3:24, More)

» Claims to Fame

Cereal killer
My wife used to share a flat with Shirley Manson - in the Goodnight Mr McKenzie days. Wouldn't smile 'cos it lined her face - but she'd shit in her BFs cornflakes for fun...
(Fri 25th Feb 2005, 3:09, More)
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