» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

thong song
I once worked behind the bar in a popular students pub...

until the boss had the great idea that when the 'thong song' (by sisquo) came on, all the bar girls were to drop their trousers to reveal the red thongs that he had already purchased for us.

3 girls walked out that night, and got new bargirl jobs straight away in the competitors pub where the landlord was loverly and not once asked to see our thongs!!
(Fri 21st Jul 2006, 12:54, More)

» Job Interviews

circles
I got asked at an illustrator job interview what was my strenghs and weeknesses.

The strenghs bit was easy, but then I really couldn't think of anything constructive to say about my weaknesses.

I eventually came out with saying...

'I'm not very good at cutting out circles'

que a whole table of interviewers dropping to the floor laughing, and me not getting the job :(
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 15:23, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

superman costume
on the instructions it says:

Does not enable you to fly

its right! - it doesn't!!
(Fri 5th May 2006, 14:37, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

newspaper
i work for a local newspaper.. and many years ago (when you could get away with not being sued), a guy on editorial was having an epileptic fit and collapsed on the floor...

so what did the sick f**kers do?

they drew a chalk line around him!

sick and wrong, wrong, wrong!
(Mon 1st Oct 2007, 16:24, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

stoned
i hadnt long been at the company, and while getting to know all my new colleagues, i accepted the offer to go out the night before and get totally f**ked.

I dont smoke, so me and colleague decided to have 'dope tea'.... the effects of which dont start until many hours after you've drank it..

i went to bed thinking 'this aint working', only to wake up unbelieveably stoned out of my brain! i had to go to work that day, and boy was i paniking!

I got to work and turned on my computer, only to find a computer error staring back at me...

F**k socks...

i didnt know if there was actually something wrong with the computer, or if it was just because i was stoned and being stupid!

I sat there for 45 mins stressing over the dilema, wondering if i dared to talk to my boss or not, fearing he might guess im stoned and sack me..

i soon realised that i couldnt just sit there all day, so i plucked up some courage and just asked. turns out the computer was indeed broken.

computer got fixed and i did my work in a weird blurry paranoid daze for the rest of the morning, until it started to go away, thank god! (then played puzzle bobble in the afternoon - i got top score - yay!)

a few months later i got stoned with one of the bosses! ..... i neednt have worried so much - they're all a bunch of stoners here - yay!

we should all be fired!
(Fri 10th Aug 2007, 13:12, More)