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Profile for ray bentos:
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I can ride a bike no handed whilst playing the theme tune to bod on a piccolo, beat that you c*nts.*


*not strictly true (at all)

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Best answers to questions:

» When I met the parents

If only I'd forgotten the punchline......
The first time I met my gf parents, we had a cracking piss up, got absolutely ratted then started telling jokes. They were getting progressively nearer the knuckle so I thought it safe to tell her Dad my favourite (the one: "Did you hear the one about the SS Commandant?" then as they say "NO" you slap them around the head and shout "Liar" in your best Jerry accent), firstly I kncoked her Dad off his seat, secondly I had completely forgotten that they were Jewish.....I have not been invited round since.
(Fri 20th May 2005, 13:33, More)

» Job Interviews

I used to work as a recruitment consultant
The agency I worked for used to supply temporary workers to factories, warehouses etc, which meant that a lot of the people who worked for us weren't always "legally" entitled to be in the country, and generally they were the only people who would work for such low wages (exploitative I know, but our wages were just as piss poor). One bloke I used to work with was an absolute cunt to people when interviewing them, especially as for most, English was not their first language, and they all seemed to have been told by whatever friend had sent them "If you don't understand a question, smile and answer yes".

Some choice questions from those days, all of which I heard people answering YES too.

Q: If I was to send you on a cleaning assignment would you be happy to polish my knob

Q: I see you worked as an engineer in Kenya, did you ever grease the ringpiece?

Q: So basically Mrs . . . you are game for any type of work? *YES* So you're willing to go on the game for me? *YES*
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 10:35, More)

» Job Interviews

My worst job interview
the one that got me the job with my current employer. Why am I here? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH I HATE THIS CUNTING PLACE!!!!
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 13:51, More)

» Job Interviews

As seen on applicants cv's from my days in recruitment
the email address vickithevibrator@*********.com, My CIM is near completion, a person whose job title had been put down as a secretery cum co-ordinator, the line "I'm a bit lazy at work sometimes, so I go and have a fag then I feel alright again".
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 10:43, More)

» The Onosecond

That text I sent saying
I just spoke to the daft bitch and told her I'm working late, as long as I take a takeaway home she's okay. See you in the pub in 15 gorgeous x x x

Oh how the ex laughed at that one
(Thu 26th May 2005, 11:54, More)
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