Profile for Joe Scaramanga:
SPONSOR ME TO SEE IF I'M A REAL MAN!!!
I shall be trying to raise money all month by growing a moustache for Movember, a charity which aims to raise awareness of Prostate cancer.
CLICK THE BANNER BELOW TO GO TO MY DONATION PAGE AND CHECK ON MY PROGRESS.
So growing a moustache may not be the most strenuous of activities to raise money doing, but it's for a good cause, and I'm liable to make just as much of a fool of myself as I would trying to do running, or something.
The link goes to my Sponsor page, and HERE you can find out more about what Movember is all about.
If you are donating, please let me know your B3ta name in the comments so I can thank you. I've had a couple of donations from people who's 'real' names I don't know.
Cheers you lot!
Welcome to The Crazy World Of Joe Scaramanga.
It's not quite the Crazy World of Arthur Brown, but then, what is?
I'm an honest Somerset lad trying, and failing, to make in Londinium.
I currently spend my days formatting text, drawing maps and graphs, and making photo's "look better" (usually spending hours trying to make a 72dpi pic about an inch square look good blown up to A5... ffs!).
At no point during my working day do I get the opportunity to re-write classic British comic book characters, Photoshop movie posters, or brush up on my Flash and video-editing skills... but I do it anyway.
My freetime is spent drinking, smoking and worrying about my flat falling down.
I CAN HAZ CATS!
Randall...
Hopkirk...
Here they are, not getting on (cos they don't)
Anyhoo...
joescaramanga.co.uk LIVES!!!
For what it's worth, browse the complete adventures of Dan's Dares (so far!), a selection of the best/worst movie posters I've done, and the crap videos I've made.
What fresh lunacy is this?
Well, it's whatever I feel like cos it's MY BLOG.
I'm emailable too: contact at joescaramanga.co.uk...
I finally won one these:
For saying Extreme weren't fit to lick my pants... or something
http://b3ta.com/board/8864950
BADGES!
courtesy of evilscary...
I was there MAN!!!
Cheers c_kick
Sonic Broom did this, he's ace:
Joe Scaramanga - O2 Wireless Festival - 16/06/07
Scaramanga the man or Scaramanga the legend? That's the question on everyone's lips as the festival draws to a close. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife in Hyde Park, and after daft Punk have done their silly robot thing, on comes Scaramanga.
The light show kicks off, nearly blinding the audience and causing Prodigy 69 to complain bitterly - but for those who still have retinas remaining, the shap of a lone JS taking the stage cause a frenzy of excitement.
Opening with "You'll Never Need A Merkin If You Don't Shave First" the overdriven ukelele of Scaramanga lifts the clouds from the skies and lets the moon beam down on his congregation. As one hit begets another, it's not long before the entire crowd is singing along, lighters in the air.
An ill-judged comment about Hitler aside, this is a spectacular night that will live long in the memory, and closer "Shmerg Shmerg Shmerg Song" leaves the crowd eager for more. Top Drawer work.
4.5/5
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 4 years, 7 months and 0 days
- has posted 18520 messages on the main board
- (of which 20 have appeared on the front page)
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- (including 97 links)
- has posted 77 stories and 95 replies on question of the week
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SPONSOR ME TO SEE IF I'M A REAL MAN!!!
I shall be trying to raise money all month by growing a moustache for Movember, a charity which aims to raise awareness of Prostate cancer.
CLICK THE BANNER BELOW TO GO TO MY DONATION PAGE AND CHECK ON MY PROGRESS.
So growing a moustache may not be the most strenuous of activities to raise money doing, but it's for a good cause, and I'm liable to make just as much of a fool of myself as I would trying to do running, or something.
The link goes to my Sponsor page, and HERE you can find out more about what Movember is all about.
If you are donating, please let me know your B3ta name in the comments so I can thank you. I've had a couple of donations from people who's 'real' names I don't know.
Cheers you lot!
Welcome to The Crazy World Of Joe Scaramanga.
It's not quite the Crazy World of Arthur Brown, but then, what is?
I'm an honest Somerset lad trying, and failing, to make in Londinium.
I currently spend my days formatting text, drawing maps and graphs, and making photo's "look better" (usually spending hours trying to make a 72dpi pic about an inch square look good blown up to A5... ffs!).
At no point during my working day do I get the opportunity to re-write classic British comic book characters, Photoshop movie posters, or brush up on my Flash and video-editing skills... but I do it anyway.
My freetime is spent drinking, smoking and worrying about my flat falling down.
I CAN HAZ CATS!
Randall...
Hopkirk...
Here they are, not getting on (cos they don't)
Anyhoo...
joescaramanga.co.uk LIVES!!!
For what it's worth, browse the complete adventures of Dan's Dares (so far!), a selection of the best/worst movie posters I've done, and the crap videos I've made.
What fresh lunacy is this?
Well, it's whatever I feel like cos it's MY BLOG.
I'm emailable too: contact at joescaramanga.co.uk...
I finally won one these:
For saying Extreme weren't fit to lick my pants... or something
http://b3ta.com/board/8864950
BADGES!
courtesy of evilscary...
I was there MAN!!!
Cheers c_kick
Sonic Broom did this, he's ace:
Joe Scaramanga - O2 Wireless Festival - 16/06/07
Scaramanga the man or Scaramanga the legend? That's the question on everyone's lips as the festival draws to a close. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife in Hyde Park, and after daft Punk have done their silly robot thing, on comes Scaramanga.
The light show kicks off, nearly blinding the audience and causing Prodigy 69 to complain bitterly - but for those who still have retinas remaining, the shap of a lone JS taking the stage cause a frenzy of excitement.
Opening with "You'll Never Need A Merkin If You Don't Shave First" the overdriven ukelele of Scaramanga lifts the clouds from the skies and lets the moon beam down on his congregation. As one hit begets another, it's not long before the entire crowd is singing along, lighters in the air.
An ill-judged comment about Hitler aside, this is a spectacular night that will live long in the memory, and closer "Shmerg Shmerg Shmerg Song" leaves the crowd eager for more. Top Drawer work.
4.5/5
Recent front page messages:
Font matching algorithm #4.36
EDIT: Cheers Mighty Nibus for the font!
(Tue 7th Jul 2009, 10:03, More)
EDIT: Cheers Mighty Nibus for the font!
(Tue 7th Jul 2009, 10:03, More)
Perfect for Valentines day...er... if you love Hertfordshire
And also NINGS!
(Tue 10th Feb 2009, 8:57, More)
And also NINGS!
(Tue 10th Feb 2009, 8:57, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Awesome Sickies
Nice boss...
When I was 19 taking my year off to 'save some money for Uni' I had a right royal bender with a mate I hadn't seen for years.
Next day, at work, I became incredibly queasy, unsurprising considering the combinationof lager, Jack daniels and Baileys that was trying to escape from my bowels.
After an hour of continual top and bottom excavation my boss enquired as to whether I was alright (bear in mind this is a Saturday).
"What did you eat yesterday?", he asked.
"Well... I had a Maccy D for lunch"
"Ah, that'll do it. You don't want to eat Macdonalds.You've probably got food poisoning".
He rang my dad to let him know I was coming home. I shit it. Not just because of my ill health, but because my Dad was a bit of a drinker, but liked to boast that he never missed a days work because of it (he once slaughtered my brother for it, and threatened to chuck him out of the house for good if he didn't go to work with a hangover).
My boss, overcome with compassion, DROVE ME HOME.
We arrive to find my Dad looking stern on the doorstep. I trudged in sheepishly.
As my boss drove away, my Dad burst into laughter. "If he can't tell the difference between food poisoning and being a pisshead, then he's a stupid cunt. Well done son."
(Fri 9th Jun 2006, 8:22, More)
Nice boss...
When I was 19 taking my year off to 'save some money for Uni' I had a right royal bender with a mate I hadn't seen for years.
Next day, at work, I became incredibly queasy, unsurprising considering the combinationof lager, Jack daniels and Baileys that was trying to escape from my bowels.
After an hour of continual top and bottom excavation my boss enquired as to whether I was alright (bear in mind this is a Saturday).
"What did you eat yesterday?", he asked.
"Well... I had a Maccy D for lunch"
"Ah, that'll do it. You don't want to eat Macdonalds.You've probably got food poisoning".
He rang my dad to let him know I was coming home. I shit it. Not just because of my ill health, but because my Dad was a bit of a drinker, but liked to boast that he never missed a days work because of it (he once slaughtered my brother for it, and threatened to chuck him out of the house for good if he didn't go to work with a hangover).
My boss, overcome with compassion, DROVE ME HOME.
We arrive to find my Dad looking stern on the doorstep. I trudged in sheepishly.
As my boss drove away, my Dad burst into laughter. "If he can't tell the difference between food poisoning and being a pisshead, then he's a stupid cunt. Well done son."
(Fri 9th Jun 2006, 8:22, More)
» Political Correctness Gone Mad
Not gay enough
My best mate (I'll call him Harry)is gay, but often provokes the reaction "well, if you hadn't said anything I would never have known", basically cos he doesn't mince about, likes 'proper' music, and is into battleships and war.
Anyway, a mate of his (let's say his name's Brian) who is a camp as Christmas, was very excited cos Kylie was playing G.A.Y, but they were limiting it to two tickets per person, and he needed four. Knowing that Harry wasn't in the least bit interested he asked him to go with him to the Astoria to pick up the required number of tickets (two each).
They queue for two hours, Brian picks up his tickets no problem, then harry steps up.
"Sorry mate. This is a gay club"
"yeah, I know. I come here a lot."
"No. No tickets for you. NEXT!"
"hang on a minute..."
"You're not gay. No tickets. NEXT!"
Now, Harry was slightly put out by this. Admittedly, he doesn't dress or act like a stereotypical queen, but he can suck a cock with the best of them (so he says), so what exactly was he suppossed to do to persuade the ticket manhe was gay?
After much pleading from himself and Brian, and the threat of a huge bouncer throweing him into the gutter, they conceded defeat, and Brian had to make other arrangements for his other tickets.
Harry ranted about it for hours, mainly to the tune of "fucking mincing queens get on my fucking tits".
(Mon 26th Nov 2007, 14:37, More)
Not gay enough
My best mate (I'll call him Harry)is gay, but often provokes the reaction "well, if you hadn't said anything I would never have known", basically cos he doesn't mince about, likes 'proper' music, and is into battleships and war.
Anyway, a mate of his (let's say his name's Brian) who is a camp as Christmas, was very excited cos Kylie was playing G.A.Y, but they were limiting it to two tickets per person, and he needed four. Knowing that Harry wasn't in the least bit interested he asked him to go with him to the Astoria to pick up the required number of tickets (two each).
They queue for two hours, Brian picks up his tickets no problem, then harry steps up.
"Sorry mate. This is a gay club"
"yeah, I know. I come here a lot."
"No. No tickets for you. NEXT!"
"hang on a minute..."
"You're not gay. No tickets. NEXT!"
Now, Harry was slightly put out by this. Admittedly, he doesn't dress or act like a stereotypical queen, but he can suck a cock with the best of them (so he says), so what exactly was he suppossed to do to persuade the ticket manhe was gay?
After much pleading from himself and Brian, and the threat of a huge bouncer throweing him into the gutter, they conceded defeat, and Brian had to make other arrangements for his other tickets.
Harry ranted about it for hours, mainly to the tune of "fucking mincing queens get on my fucking tits".
(Mon 26th Nov 2007, 14:37, More)
» The most childish thing you've done as an adult
I still ride trolleys round supermarkets
until a few months ago when my weight lifted the front wheels off the floor causing me to go face first into the 'pushing' bar on the front and cut my lip
I won't be doing that again in ahurry, I can tell you!
(Thu 17th Sep 2009, 15:28, More)
I still ride trolleys round supermarkets
until a few months ago when my weight lifted the front wheels off the floor causing me to go face first into the 'pushing' bar on the front and cut my lip
I won't be doing that again in ahurry, I can tell you!
(Thu 17th Sep 2009, 15:28, More)
» Cheap Tat
All in One Remote controls
I love the Pound Shops (and their evben more lowbrow competitor, the 99p Shop). I buy all mannmer of household items there, but there's one I am banned from ever purchasing again.
A few years back, when I first assembled my grgeous home entertainment centre, Mrs S was continually baffled byu having four or five remotes, and never knowing which one controlled which expensive black box (looking at the name eg SONY, TOSHIBA was obviously beyond her).
One day, in our local Poundland, she spots an all-in-one remote. Great, thinks I, Dixons want anything up to £60 for these, I'll have it.
Unfortunately, I could only get the thing to control my video recorder, and even then, only the rudimentary basics, and not the Menu/set up screens.
Next week, I spy another, different one. This one would only operate the TV.
Ands this went on until I amassed 5 different All-in-One remotes, each of which would only operate one item in my system, and consequently our coffee table broke under the weight of cheap plastic doofers clogging it up.*
(*may contaiun elemenets of lie)
(Mon 7th Jan 2008, 17:40, More)
All in One Remote controls
I love the Pound Shops (and their evben more lowbrow competitor, the 99p Shop). I buy all mannmer of household items there, but there's one I am banned from ever purchasing again.
A few years back, when I first assembled my grgeous home entertainment centre, Mrs S was continually baffled byu having four or five remotes, and never knowing which one controlled which expensive black box (looking at the name eg SONY, TOSHIBA was obviously beyond her).
One day, in our local Poundland, she spots an all-in-one remote. Great, thinks I, Dixons want anything up to £60 for these, I'll have it.
Unfortunately, I could only get the thing to control my video recorder, and even then, only the rudimentary basics, and not the Menu/set up screens.
Next week, I spy another, different one. This one would only operate the TV.
Ands this went on until I amassed 5 different All-in-One remotes, each of which would only operate one item in my system, and consequently our coffee table broke under the weight of cheap plastic doofers clogging it up.*
(*may contaiun elemenets of lie)
(Mon 7th Jan 2008, 17:40, More)
» Political Correctness Gone Mad
Ignorant stupid black homophobe?
First year at Uni, on a Social Sciences degree.
I'd got friendly with a group who included a lovely chap from a small village in Nigeria. He was in his 30's but very naive due to his upbringing, and this was the first time he'd been outside of his own country.
In one seminar, I can't remeber what it was about, the tutor got to talking about homosexuality.
"I don't understand this idea of homosexuality", he said.
"Well, it's when two men... er... shall we move on?", replied the somewhat befuddled tutor.
"yes, but I don't understand"
"It's when men or women are involved sexually with the same sex. Can we move on, I can't really..."
"But why?", he asked. "Why would a man want to 'be' with another man?", he pleaded, with what seemed to be the genuine concern of someone who really didn't understand.
"I'm afraid. I can't talk about this anymore. And if this conversation continues I'll have to ask you to leave the class and report you for homophobic comments".
The poor bloke looked shocked as hell. My group, including a gay man and a lesbian, calmed him down and said we'd chat to him after the class.
I found this utterly ridiculous, that my Uni, one of the most (if not the most) left wing in the country popint blank refused to explain homosexuality to a man who lived his life in a tiny Nigeran village, and the tutor was so so fearful of being strung up for discussing it, that she threatened to have this poor bloke thrown out, for asking, what to him, seemed a perfectly logical question.
(Mon 26th Nov 2007, 9:58, More)
Ignorant stupid black homophobe?
First year at Uni, on a Social Sciences degree.
I'd got friendly with a group who included a lovely chap from a small village in Nigeria. He was in his 30's but very naive due to his upbringing, and this was the first time he'd been outside of his own country.
In one seminar, I can't remeber what it was about, the tutor got to talking about homosexuality.
"I don't understand this idea of homosexuality", he said.
"Well, it's when two men... er... shall we move on?", replied the somewhat befuddled tutor.
"yes, but I don't understand"
"It's when men or women are involved sexually with the same sex. Can we move on, I can't really..."
"But why?", he asked. "Why would a man want to 'be' with another man?", he pleaded, with what seemed to be the genuine concern of someone who really didn't understand.
"I'm afraid. I can't talk about this anymore. And if this conversation continues I'll have to ask you to leave the class and report you for homophobic comments".
The poor bloke looked shocked as hell. My group, including a gay man and a lesbian, calmed him down and said we'd chat to him after the class.
I found this utterly ridiculous, that my Uni, one of the most (if not the most) left wing in the country popint blank refused to explain homosexuality to a man who lived his life in a tiny Nigeran village, and the tutor was so so fearful of being strung up for discussing it, that she threatened to have this poor bloke thrown out, for asking, what to him, seemed a perfectly logical question.
(Mon 26th Nov 2007, 9:58, More)