» Workplace Boredom

SCIENCE!
What happens if we leave a pint of milk in a warm office overnight?
Overnight turned into 'a few days'.
A few days became a week.
A week became a month.
A month became...'however long we can'.
Eventually it was named Steve and did more work than the people who left it there.
It all backfired when our line manager brought some visitors in, and picked up the box files it was hidden behind. Then opened it to investigate. One woman was sick in the bin.
(Thu 8th Jan 2009, 22:23, More)

» Mugged

My sister
got mugged not so long ago. She had nothing on her except her phone. Her phone's knackered, she broke the screen within six months of having it, and then tried to take the cover off to fix it. It's pretty much hanging off.
They took one look at it, handed it back and walked off without a word.
(Thu 15th Jun 2006, 15:45, More)

» Cheap Tat

Headphones
£1.99 headphones from Argos. The loose connections in the wire and the chipped paint were annoying, but the icing on the cake was looking at them to find out which was the left one and which was the right, to find that they were both marked as left.
(Sun 6th Jan 2008, 17:23, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Yesterday
I moved to university in London. My parents loaded my stuff into the car, drove me 300 miles and dropped me off. Dad came with me while I enrolled, but got bored of queuing and decided to wander off, telling me he'd be out the front of the main building.
Fifteen minutes later, all enrolled, I walk out to where he said he'd be and...nothing. He's not there. I walk up and down and round and round and still nothing. A kindly student ambassador comes over and says 'Are you alright?'
20 years old, first day of university, first day of my new independent life outside the family home (I have my own set of pans and everything) and what comes out of my mouth in the panicked tone of a toddler whose mum isn't by the cheese in Sainsbury's any more?
'I've lost my dad!'
(Fri 18th Sep 2009, 11:00, More)

» Terrible Parenting

I still hate my sister.
As a seven-year-old, I liked school, but I liked getting out of school even more. My sister was five at the time so my parents would pick us both up and walk us both home, but my brother walked home on his own, being older than us.
So, as usual, one day, when the bell rings, I go running around to the yard where we got picked up (without my skirt or knickers falling down due to not actually fitting me, or on one memorable occasion, both). No dad, no sister. I scan the crowds of parents leaving but nothing.
Fair enough, think I, my dad will just be a minute late and my sister's class won't have got out yet.
So I wait.
And wait.
Parents disperse and the stream of children running out from behind me grows thin. No dad. No sister. And being a soft child, I start to cry. What could have happened? Has my dad disappeared off the face of the earth? Did reality shift during story time and in actual fact I never had a dad to begin with? Am I ever going to go home and have my tea?
(I read far too many books as a child.)
A teacher comes out to ask why I'm still here. In between sobs, I explain, and she takes me inside and gives me a cup of juice and a tissue.
20 minutes later, my dad comes running into the school, red-faced and out of breath. What on earth could have happened? Did he get stuck in traffic somewhere? Was a relative ill?
No.
He'd been early, picked my sister up, walked home, given her and my brother their tea, and been quite pleased with himself until my sister asked 'Dad, where's indecisivephotogirl?'

Even after seven years of my life, my dad still managed to forget I existed.
Well over 10 years later, I'm still pissed off at this. He claims to not remember this, so I remind him of it at every suitable juncture.

(I should point out that my dad is actually lovely, just a bit...forgetful.)
(Thu 16th Aug 2007, 13:58, More)