Profile for Victor Meldrew:
none
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 21 years, 8 months and 6 days
- has posted 7045 messages on the main board
- (of which 21 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 12 messages on the links board
- (including 1 links)
- has posted 38 stories and 39 replies on question of the week
- They liked 741 pictures, 2 links, 0 talk posts, and 28 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
none
Recent front page messages:
Hi I am prince of Camelot, pls give bank details for sum of £100000000 deposit urgent!
(Wed 2nd May 2012, 13:29, More)
(Wed 2nd May 2012, 13:29, More)
This makes me feel a little sick, but also makes me want tea!
Edit: Blimey, FP! Thanks
(Thu 8th Sep 2011, 18:30, More)
Edit: Blimey, FP! Thanks
(Thu 8th Sep 2011, 18:30, More)
Those heartless bastards
DE-RIS: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7812917.stm
(Tue 6th Jan 2009, 16:32, More)
DE-RIS: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7812917.stm
(Tue 6th Jan 2009, 16:32, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Well, that taught 'em
Bit of a blokey thing to say here really
but about 6 years ago i had the hots for this girl and most her mates. She often used to tell my friends (in a way that was meant to get back to me) that she and all her mates were out of my league and wouldn't EVER touch me with a barge pole. The funny thing is that her infinitely more attractive and VERY milfy mother didnt seem so picky in a night club a few weeks later.
VERY childish but that taught her.
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 12:07, More)
Bit of a blokey thing to say here really
but about 6 years ago i had the hots for this girl and most her mates. She often used to tell my friends (in a way that was meant to get back to me) that she and all her mates were out of my league and wouldn't EVER touch me with a barge pole. The funny thing is that her infinitely more attractive and VERY milfy mother didnt seem so picky in a night club a few weeks later.
VERY childish but that taught her.
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 12:07, More)
» Conversation Killers
I finally get to wheel this one out in a QOTW.
My Mrs was having a house warming party at her new place (obviously) and had invited friends from across the country to come along. In all there were about 40 people crammed into one front room of a pretty modest bungalow. Inevitably conversation started to dry up a little, so a round of guitar hero was suggested.
My friend and I decide to take the first turn as everyone is a little shy (most have driven, only 3 are staying over and drinking).
The song selection comes up, I choose 'Beat it' by Michael jackson.
Friend, (jokingly) "Why are you putting that on, it's a kiddy fiddler tune?!"
Me, "The joke's on you, I LIKE fucking kids!!"
Stunned silence in the room.
We collapse in laughter. Nobody else does.
By the time that song has finished all but the 3 poor sods who are sleeping over have left. Those three people went to bed early.
OOPS.
(Fri 13th May 2011, 9:16, More)
I finally get to wheel this one out in a QOTW.
My Mrs was having a house warming party at her new place (obviously) and had invited friends from across the country to come along. In all there were about 40 people crammed into one front room of a pretty modest bungalow. Inevitably conversation started to dry up a little, so a round of guitar hero was suggested.
My friend and I decide to take the first turn as everyone is a little shy (most have driven, only 3 are staying over and drinking).
The song selection comes up, I choose 'Beat it' by Michael jackson.
Friend, (jokingly) "Why are you putting that on, it's a kiddy fiddler tune?!"
Me, "The joke's on you, I LIKE fucking kids!!"
Stunned silence in the room.
We collapse in laughter. Nobody else does.
By the time that song has finished all but the 3 poor sods who are sleeping over have left. Those three people went to bed early.
OOPS.
(Fri 13th May 2011, 9:16, More)
» My First Experience of the Internet
EMAIL ON A SPECTRUM ?!
Back when programs like 'live & kicking' started asking for people to email in, we looked into what this 'email 'could be.... turns out it was electronic mail, WHAT WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?!
Anyway, we decided to 'hack' into our school's 'records' (like they'd even have any sort of online connection back then!) with my mate's Spectrum by typing "HACK SCHOOL X, RETURN, RUN HACK". We sat there for a few seconds before my mate panicked and pulled the plug out of the wall turning the whole lot off, before we ran outside and hid in the field for the rest of the afternoon in case the police came around.
It would be about 10 more years before i had anything that contained a modem, let alone being able to connect to the internet.
(Thu 22nd Mar 2012, 13:57, More)
EMAIL ON A SPECTRUM ?!
Back when programs like 'live & kicking' started asking for people to email in, we looked into what this 'email 'could be.... turns out it was electronic mail, WHAT WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?!
Anyway, we decided to 'hack' into our school's 'records' (like they'd even have any sort of online connection back then!) with my mate's Spectrum by typing "HACK SCHOOL X, RETURN, RUN HACK". We sat there for a few seconds before my mate panicked and pulled the plug out of the wall turning the whole lot off, before we ran outside and hid in the field for the rest of the afternoon in case the police came around.
It would be about 10 more years before i had anything that contained a modem, let alone being able to connect to the internet.
(Thu 22nd Mar 2012, 13:57, More)
» Petty Sabotage
Sabotage in Religious education class!
Back in t' day when we HAD to take R.E. as part of our school week, we were asked to come up with a religious themed board game (presumably to get us to do SOMETHING r.e. related besides asking the teacher if you can be re-incarnated as a carrot). Anyway, once said games were completed (drawn onto A3 bits of coloured sugar paper) we passed them on to other tables to play. Imagine our horror when our 'get ghandi' game returned form the girls table with flowers drawn over everything!! SO to return the compliment, we turned every single curved surface on their one into a comedy cock! Beautiful flowers became 8 knobbed mutant flowers and a wonderfully drawn horse had its nose turned into a todger!!!! Bitches complained and we got held back and recieved a right bollocking.........god it was worth it!! :)
(Sun 8th May 2005, 19:35, More)
Sabotage in Religious education class!
Back in t' day when we HAD to take R.E. as part of our school week, we were asked to come up with a religious themed board game (presumably to get us to do SOMETHING r.e. related besides asking the teacher if you can be re-incarnated as a carrot). Anyway, once said games were completed (drawn onto A3 bits of coloured sugar paper) we passed them on to other tables to play. Imagine our horror when our 'get ghandi' game returned form the girls table with flowers drawn over everything!! SO to return the compliment, we turned every single curved surface on their one into a comedy cock! Beautiful flowers became 8 knobbed mutant flowers and a wonderfully drawn horse had its nose turned into a todger!!!! Bitches complained and we got held back and recieved a right bollocking.........god it was worth it!! :)
(Sun 8th May 2005, 19:35, More)
» My sex misconceptions
My first girlfriend had some classics
Now bear in mind I was 18 and she was 23 AND had already had a kid with someone else, so you'd expect she'd be well up on all matters of the sexeh tiem.
Well on time in bed she was messing with my 'member' and was looking at it rather odly..
Her "Where is the other hole then?"
Me "What?"
Her "The other hole you piss out of??"
Thats right, this 23 year old woman who has had kids somehow thought the penis had 2 holes in the end...one for spunking and one for pissing!
I wish i'd pretended as the realization that they both came out the same place was met with, "thats fucking gross, i'm not putting that in my mouth again."
(Tue 30th Sep 2008, 12:40, More)
My first girlfriend had some classics
Now bear in mind I was 18 and she was 23 AND had already had a kid with someone else, so you'd expect she'd be well up on all matters of the sexeh tiem.
Well on time in bed she was messing with my 'member' and was looking at it rather odly..
Her "Where is the other hole then?"
Me "What?"
Her "The other hole you piss out of??"
Thats right, this 23 year old woman who has had kids somehow thought the penis had 2 holes in the end...one for spunking and one for pissing!
I wish i'd pretended as the realization that they both came out the same place was met with, "thats fucking gross, i'm not putting that in my mouth again."
(Tue 30th Sep 2008, 12:40, More)