» Tightwads

How we defeated the tightwad
Blah blah, office of four, every friday pub for drinks, one sod never bought his round.

So far so dull. We did, however, manage to defeat the problem by inventing the fax machine sweepstake.

Our office fax machine was frequently spammed with air conditioning/car/computer/other sales faxes, so we instituted a sweepstake with one category each, and the person who received the most faxes having to buy the first round on friday.

It took him over 3 months to realise we were sending faxes expressing interest to air conditioning companies.
(Fri 24th Oct 2008, 15:15, More)

» Helicopter Parents

I went out with a "liberal minded" girl once.
She invited me to a family orgy. Was nervous at first, but in the end...


.... Hell, I copped 'er parents.



I'm so very, very, very sorry for that one.
(Fri 11th Sep 2009, 11:06, More)

» Rubbish Towns

I periodically spend time in a place so rough you wouldn't believe.
The locals are split, broadly, into 3 or 4 warring groups, and I kid you not, barely an hour can pass without a small intifada being declared.

Newcomers are chased away as if they were the spawn of satan, and there's a hundred by-laws which are used to beat them over the head.

There's been very little regeneration work for years, so it's a bit like stepping back in a time-warp.

Still, on the plus side, I mostly hang out on "links" which is a bit friendlier.
(Mon 2nd Nov 2009, 11:21, More)

» School Projects

Not school, but uni...
We had to make a robot that did clever things, but sadly having scammed my way into Cambridge without the required intelligence - certainly not in the field of engineering - I had to improvise.

I was ultimately penalised for securing various parts of my robot to each other with gaffer tape, rather than using a rivet gun, my reasoning being that riveting doesn't live up to its name. Given that the bugger worked, I felt hard done by.

My lab partner, however, identified that part of my problem was turning up to the 9am marking session still drunk from the night before, in a dinner jacket, and carrying a trumpet.

Astonishingly, I still have an MA (YES, AN MA) in Engineering.
(Tue 18th Aug 2009, 11:09, More)

» Pointless Experiments

I decided to find out....
...how long I could get away with writing my real thoughts in all work e-mails, and then turning the abusive text to a white font.

It only shows up if someone highlights the text.

Answer: not long enough. Experiment not since repeated.
(Thu 24th Jul 2008, 13:11, More)