» Advice from Old People

helpful drink advice ...
Long time lurker etc. etc. ...
As my grandad took his time over dying last year it was decided that he should probably meet my little brothers missus while he still could so him, her and me headed oop north for a respectful visit and introduction.
He was obviously keen to make a good impression and having always been a very hospitable chap offered us all a wide range of drinks when we arrived he was also a big drinker so wine, beer and lager were what was offered and after a moments hesitation, tonic water as a soft alternative. The polite image was ruined almost instantly by the sound of my grandmothers voice shouting from the kitchen
"Tonic water? Why in the hell would you drink that?"
to be honest, sound advice grannie it tastes like shite ...
and of course it makes a nice change from her usual advice to lose some weight aimed at me and the 12 year old as we're looking "a bit chubby" ho hum
(Thu 19th Jun 2008, 20:22, More)

» Blood

Stupid Stupid Brothers
Not completely blood related but it seemed close enough at the time.

My younger brother has never known when to stop and so (aged 16) whilst my parents and youngest siblings were away in London he decides a party is in order. He and his mates are some of the most pretentious idiots I know, so instead of your usual cider/vodka teenage party they procede to get absolutely mullered on port, red wine, malt whiskey and real ale. Brothers tipple of choice apparently being port washed down with whiskey followed by a hefty amount of cigars. I was woken up at 4.30am by his hysterical girlfriend screaming down the 'phone that he'd killed himself and was lying prone in a pool of blood.
After the initial fear and shouting at the dopey mare to call 999 not me who was 100 miles away a more sober member of the party was found

...and we discovered the twat had simply passed out in his own port coloured vomit.

Bloody kids.
(Wed 13th Aug 2008, 19:48, More)

» Tales of the Unexplained

FIRE!
I have lots of story's for this qotw so I may feel compelled to post more later but this one'll do for now... (apologies for length of post btw)

As a bit of background I specialise in dreaming stuff which ends up actually happening. I knew my little sister would be a girl, on my first visit on orchestra tour I already knew which bedroom would be mine and how to get there, it had identical decoration and everything, I also knew I was going to get my current job before I did however this dream was VERY scary (to me at least).

When I was 15 I used to babysit for a family in the next village to me and stay over at their house. on the last night of november I was snuggling up in 'my' bed (they had a big house and I always slept in the same guest room). I usually slept really well but this night I started waking up at about 2300 with dreams of fire and people screaming. This dream actually terrified me whenever I closed my eyes all I could see was flames and hear people screaming. This went on until about 3am when I eventually dropped off to sleep. The next morning my dad came to collect me and he seemed really distracted when we got into the car he told me one of my mum's really close friends had died in a house fire the night before after being trapped in her room while the house burned down :(. I still have no idea why I dreamed this but it really, really freaked me out.
(Fri 4th Jul 2008, 11:47, More)