NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 114: "BADGERS ARE BACK"
This Week:
* WEEBL - Return of the badger
* GAME - Abbey Road massacre
* WAXING - Bloke waxes leg
* B3TA RADIO - Worst records in the world
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B3ta email 114 - 05 Dec 2003
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http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue114/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Bumper week. Loads of bloody stuff.
>> Abbey Road massacre <<
They are the Beatles. You are a CIA sniper.
Can you gun down the hippie freaks before
they reach the safety of Abbey Road Studio?
Sargant provides a nice twist to the end of
the tale.
http://sargant.com/b3ta/abbey.html
>> Lord of the badgers <<
Inspired to a creative frenzy by the upcoming
release of Lord of the Rings, Jonti has
made a remix of his classic badger animation
with a Middle Earthian twist. Check out the
CGI on this: (Warning. Huge download.)
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/25/
>> "I waxed my leg" <<
Sam Beddoes disbelieved his girlfriends when
they told him how painful feminine beauty
treatments are. "I decided to wax my leg, to
see if women are pussys," he writes. "They are."
Next week, Sam will be showing how piss-easy
childbirth is. What do we need girls
for, anyway?
http://www.magiver.co.uk/mixes/missions/2.htm
>> Fly cartoon <<
"If badgers were the new 'kittens' then
flies are the new 'badgers'. Ahem." Such
are the inflated claims of David Stuarthomfray.
But, surprisingly, he proves them good, with
this charming animated tale, featuring
cute little flies. Yes, you did did read
that right.
http://david.stuarthomfray.co.uk/playback_DFG.html
>> Hamlet: The text adventure <<
Robin Johnson's mind has been very much on the
past of late. To this end, he has created an
old-school, text-based computer game, based on
Shakespeare's Hamlet. This may very well be the
way the Elizabethans themselves experienced
The Immortal Bard, on their primitive
386-based PCs.
http://www.robinjohnson.f9.co.uk/adventure/hamlet....
>> George in my pocket <<
"We've got a bloke at work called George,"
writes 13 Floors Up. "In times of stress or
when he's had too much coffee/sugar he comes
out with all sorts of weird phrases, so I
knocked up a soundboard." This little flash
toy really doesn't do an awful lot, but the
rich weirdness of the catchphrases compensates.
We think 'Humdy Bumdy Gumdy' could
really catch on.
http://www.airshows.co.uk/gip.swf
>> Kill Bill Gates <<
Film parodies and attacks on Bill Gates are
two-a-penny. This has something extra. "It's
not big or clever," writes creator Dirge Anchor.
But it is deeply odd and boasts its own unique
visual style. Woo.
http://www.killbillgates.com/
>> Alphabet toy <<
Oddly pleasing, letter-chanting flash toy.
There's not much to it, but what there is
sure is pretty. Made by the
evocatively-named Nipplecat.
http://www.nipplecat.com/shockwave/alphanoise/alph...
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: B3TA RADIO
Worst records in the world
On this week's B3ta radio we're playing the
records you hate.
We've had 100s of nominations. Our favourite
comes from Mystery Bob who writes:
"I borrow my sister's car a lot, but it has no
CD player in it, therefore I tend to listen to
whatever is on the Radio - sometimes I sing
along.
"A couple of months ago while driving through
Edinburgh - I stopped at a set of traffic
lights and noticed a rather attractive girl
walking along the pavement, looking directly
at me.
"At first I thought, 'Woo - my animal magnetism
is drawing her to me", then I realised I was
singing rather loudly to 'More than Words' by
Extreme. She was simply looking at me with
pity and disgust.
"I hate that song now."
Read them all. It'll take you a couple of
hours.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/worstrecordever/
Or learn more about B3ta Radio and how to
tune in:
http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Find the tea <<
MC Pitman is, ostensibly, a foul-mouthed
rapping miner, partial to tea and biscuits.
This game from his website is a visual
treasure hunt: Can you find the tea in a
huge montage of peculiar imagery, under the
surreal heckling of the man himself? To be
honest, we couldn't.
http://www.pitmanworld.com/pitgame.html
>> How's my lezzing? <<
A serious and learned academic discussion on
the portrayal of Sapphic Love in the mass media.
Not what this is. But we found it interesting
anyway. For some strange reason.
http://www.progressiveboink.com/archive/lesbians1....
>> Not all Americans are stupid <<
A genius idea this: Declare your nationality
and answer various multiple choice general
knowledge questions. At the end you're told how
well you did and shown the statistics of US vs.
the Rest of the World. It's worth noting,
however, that Americans are now marginally
behind in the results. Go destroy some
national stereotypes.
http://www.netcartoon.net/naaas/quiz.html
>> Circumcision DIY <<
Old, classic, revolting, probably untrue.
Utterly compelling. Gregory Bernath describes
how he decided to save money on doctors' fees
by removing hs own foreskin. With scissors.
http://www.angelfire.com/ultra/torkyarkisto/circum...
>> Massive photograph <<
Max Lyons big pictures. He makes huge images by
stitching together shots from his digital
camera. He's just excelled himself, creating
a 1.09 billion pixel photo of Bryce Canyon, US.
It's possibly the biggest photographic image in
the world and would make a smashing desktop
wallpaper, too. Trouble is, your monitor would
have to be about 47ft x 31ft to display it
full-size.
http://www.tawbaware.com/maxlyons/gigapixel.htm
>> Stalin: Father of Photoshopping <<
We didn't used to have much time for Stalin.
His dodgy facial hair was no match for Hitler,
or John McCrirrick. But this museum feature
shows the tyrant to have an admirably adroit
touch with photographic fakery. His enemies,
and former friends, simply vanish from photos
as if they had never been.
http://www.newseum.org/berlinwall/commissar_vanish...
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Drugs Do Work Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted to see the world on drugs:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/drugs/
We asked B3ta boarder 'ChaosTime' to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
ChaosTime writes -
#1 "Always Coca Cola - This was by far the most
clever entry to the competition. Also, it's
hilarious, so it wins on two accounts! (bluecorvet)
http://b3ta.com/board/2413010
#2 "Hallucinogenics! The way of future warfare! -
If warfare was really like this I'd sign up
tomorrow. But the question is: would syringes
be standard issue? (Razor)
http://b3ta.com/board/2427913
#3 "One more meme to strike off the list - This
one made me laugh like a loon. Poor Weebl, he
really looks like he needs his hit soon." (ac-x)
http://b3ta.com/board/2419161
"A special mention for gratuitous use of Domo-kun
in full Rage mode must go to the appropriately
named 'kid special':"
http://b3ta.com/board/2409457
>> This Week's Challenge <<
This week, B3ta contributor GlobaModule gave us
the suggestion, "Gangstas in da hood"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/gangster/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* LITTLE MEW - regular contributor Brian Mung
has been contacted by Nickelodeon over his
character Little Mew. "They've commissioned 5
festive shorts for their Nick Jr channel," he
tells us. Well done, Brian!
http://www.brianmung.com/
* BRUMMIE OF THE YEAR - The 'Birmingham - It's
Not Shit' campaign, featured in these pages
some months past, has stepped up its PR blitz
with a glitzy awards ceremony. Down a boozer,
in Birmingham. Who will be Brummie of the Year
- Carrott, Ozzie or, er, Laurence from Felt?
Cast your vote now:
http://www.birminghamitsnotshit.co.uk/vote
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* GIANT WALKING ROBOT LEGS - are you a mad
science genius? We'd like to see your real
world projects.
* NEW B3TA RADIO JINGLES - send us your 10
second MP3s.
* QUIZZES - we haven't seen any good quizzes
for a while. No we don't want "What
character from Grange Hill are you" crap.
We want look fresh stuff. Think about
stuff that genuinely interests you and
your mates.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Links sent in by Paul, +3 post of stabbityness,
Toby W, een, rob horsefield and Wetzel
Top Tippery by Penile
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the scuttling b4ta skinks. (72394)
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TOP TIP:
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ice cubes and a handy throw-away tray!
