NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 118: "LIES YOUR PARENTS TOLD"
This Week:
* INTERVIEW - Wes Cherry speaks
* QUIZ - Celebrity Dustbin
* WEIRDO - From flabby to freak
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____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web... together"
B3ta email 118 - 16 Jan 2004
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue118/
Subscribe: [email protected]
Unsub: [email protected]
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: B3TA VALENTINE(ish) PARTY
13th Feb, London
Huzzah. Open your diaries. Get scribbling for
it's nearly time for another of our legendary
parties.
It's being held at Babushka on the Caledonian
Road. We'll be giving you a flyer with a map
next week. Oooh - we can hardly wait.
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Interview, Dustbin, Bunny, Thing and Clay
>> Interview with a legend <<
Wes Cherry. Never heard of him? Well, he's only
the creator of the most played
computer game ever written. Solitaire for
Windows, installed on hundreds of millions
of machines World-wide.
Responsible for more lost man hours than booze,
fags and sex on the photocopier. He's a
legend, we salute him, we're not worthy,
now we give you the one, the only... Wes Cherry!
http://www.b3ta.com/interview/solitaire/
>> Celebrity dustbin <<
The world was crying out for a web quiz based
on celebrity dustbin raiding. Cometh the
hour, cometh the man. Brian Mung: We bask
again in the warm glow of your unique genius.
http://www.brianmung.com/celebritepoubelle.htm
>> Dancing Bunnyman <<
Hip-hop. Bunnies. Humiliation. This one's got
it all. Elisse Hamu has made an extremely
good animation about someone not dancing
very well at all.
http://www.crimsonskycreations.com/bunnyman8.html
>> The Thing that waits <<
"Stupid and pointless animations are my
cup of tea," writes Lazarus. You make a
lovely cuppa, say we.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php
>> Surrealist claymation spectacular <<
Kvetching plasticine-wrangling genius
Threeheadedanalbaby and friend produced
this rather fine specimen. Like Wallace
& Gromit directed by David Cronenberg.
http://home.earthlink.net/~chase900/jewish512.wmv
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: B3TA RADIO
Did your parents ever lie to you?
This week we're after the fibs that your mum
and dad told you when you were a gullible
child. Read this stuff - it's fantastic.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/liesyourparentstoldy...
Also; Noted web raconteur and wit ScaryDuck
will be joining us in the studio for a chat.
You can learn more about b3ta Radio and how
to tune in here:
http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> From flabby to freak <<
Last year this chap made a vow to physically
transform himself into a vision of masculine
beauty. He lost weight, worked out, bought a
medallion, shaved his chest and displayed an
interesting array of pants in his daily photo
journal. Boyz Magazine: You will like this.
http://www.johnstonefitness.com/all/front/w.html
>> Escape from Neverland <<
Jacko: His last album was shit. He's not down
with the kids anymore, is he? Perhaps this
web game will help him out with that. We
scored 5. Then got bored.
http://www.zooass.com/games/neverland/neverland.sw...
>> Ovenready apartment <<
Is a tinfoil hat not keeping the alien brain
lasers out? Take a leaf out of this fellow's
book and safeguard your sanity by wrapping
every single item in your house with aluminium
foil. It took him five days. Can you do better? *
http://www.meetluke.com/NxAlbumImageThumbnailView....
>> Airline food photos <<
About to go on holiday? Worried about
the food? See 10,000 photos that explain
why air rage exists.
http://airlinemeals.net/indexMeals.html
>> Harmonica beatbox <<
The art of good blowjob is 'circular
breathing' - to keep blowing whilst
inhaling. We'd like this bloke's
number. Warning: Big download - but
we have a fat pipe.
http://memelo.julianors.org/yuri_harmonica.swf
>> Powerpoint mum <<
A woman's advice to her husband, who is about
to babysit their child for the first time.
It's in the only language men understand:
Online animation.
http://www.gnjallen.com/daddy.htm
>> Ludicrous motorbike <<
Monster trucks make you look like a real man.
Why not convert your motorbike the same way?
The answer is here: It will make you look like
a tiny wee child, particularly since it needs
stabilisers to stay upright. Jessies.
http://www.uq.net.au/~zzlhiess/Big%20Toe.htm
>> Photoshopping - no such thing <<
Photoshopping photoshopping photoshopping
Photoshopping photoshopping photoshopping.
Adobe says we're not allowed to say this.
Hee hee hee. We are so naughty. So sue us
already, you big electric cat.
http://www.adobe.com/misc/trade.html#photoshop
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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Bats In Bed
Simply the cutest thing we've seen this
week. Poorly baby bats tucked up nice
and warm in a special bat hospital.
http://www.athertontablelands.com/bats/
BTW: What's the cutest thing you've seen on
the web recently? Tell us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Come-Back TV Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted limp TV vehicles for
has-been celebs:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/comebacktv/
We asked B3ta boarder 'Sue Denham' to judge the
entries - here are her 3 faves.
Sue writes -
#1 "B&Q's latest recruit - the pathos and sheer
desperation evident on this chap's face is a
joy to behold. #sniff# (Shatner's Bassoon)
http://b3ta.com/board/2601867
#2 "Happy Days - it's probably a good thing Adolf
didn't grow old - imagine asking him what he
did in the war. (themanwhofellasleep)
http://b3ta.com/board/2602109
#3 "Postman Chat - simply perfect. Pat has the
concerned-tv-show-host look down, well, pat."
(wilesy)
http://b3ta.com/board/2608426
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, a whole bunch of our contributors
gave us the suggestion, "Inappropriate
Endorsements"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/endorsements/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* IRC BIBLE HIT - last weeks conversion of
the scriptures into AOL-lamer speak has
proved rather popular with the blogging
community, reaching top 5 in the Blogdex
charts. If you missed it then give it a read.
http://www.ircbible.destrukto-theater.nl/
* WEEBL TALKS TO M.I.T - Jonti has been asked
to give a chat about web comics at a
university in Boston. They're flying him over
too. Lucky sod.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* TOP TIP TESTING - you don't have to be a
web guru to join in with b3ta. Anyone with
a camera and a gay turn of phrase could
test our tips. Go on. Live a little.
* A BULLET WITH OUR NAMES ON IT - if we
own it, they can't kill us do you see?
* AN MP3 OF SHEMALE GENERATION - by the
eponymous Gallic transsexual pop trio.
There's only a ten-second preview on their
site and we want to play it on the radio.
http://www.shemale-legroupe.com/
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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Subscribe: [email protected]
Unsubscribe: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Links sent in by TomARSE, Vidi, Hapax Legomena
& Murray (of Commercial Breaks & Beats fame,
and oddly enough, Tracey "Fooking Amateurs"
MacLeod's favourite website.)
Top Tippery by Jada.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the sexual b4ta conquistadors.
(73266)
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TOP TIP:
Having trouble cleaning pots and pans? Get
some dead leaves from the garden and boil
them up for 15 to 20 minutes. Scrub the pan
with the leaves and it should come up nice
and clean. If not, at least you've made a
nourishing soup.
