NEWSLETTER: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMON PEGG / JIMMY HOFFA
This Week:
* PUTIN - His Facebook Lookback
* CARTOON HEADS - on real people
* SORRY - from a cat
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Ou sont
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | les neiges
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| d'antan?"
B3ta email 619 - 14 Feb 2014
Stare at this newsletter blankly:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue619
Bigs : [email protected]
Smalls : [email protected]
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
>> Vladimir Putin's Facebook Lookback <<
"What a 10 years he's had..." beams (actual
video creator)db123. We're actually a bit
hesitant to credit anyone criticising Putin -
you never know what's going to turn up in their
sushi.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1135040/
>> A review of Man of Steel <<
"I downloaded the torrent 'cause it's cheaper
and better," confesses dogfood. Funny little
gag runs its course and then gets... weirdly
brilliant. Stick with it.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/A_review_of_Man_of_Steel
>> Terrifying 'ASMR relaxation video' <<
"I did a video for the ASMR community," writes
jonofthesouth. For those of you not familiar
with Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, it's
basically inducing euphoria through whispers -
check it out on Ye Olde Wikipedia. This video,
on the other hand, utterly gave us The Fear.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1136482/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
>> Cartoonist draws alternate heads for commuters <<
Bored on his journey home, October Jones draws
new cartoon heads for the people he shares a
train with.
http://cheezburger.com/186117
>> Adding 2 lines makes animations look more 3D <<
Two vertical white lines and you can make an
animated GIF look like it's coming RIGHT AT
YOUR FACE!
http://www.viralnova.com/3d-images/
>> Legendarily dangerous theme park <<
'Action Park was the site of several fatalities
in just the first five years of operation' -
that's all you need to know.
http://goo.gl/oRwjx3
>> Creationist Questions Translated <<
Kinda shooting fish in a barrel, but here are
those Creationist questions for scientists
translated in various logical fallacies.
http://imgur.com/gallery/PbBTk
>> Jim'll Paint It fans tear Madonna a new one <<
Madonna failed to credit Jim'll paint It when
sharing a pic that he did of Putin as the
Village People. The rage of his fans, as they
take to her page en masse is something to
behold. Sample comment: "Madonna is just a
stupid hairy clunged fucking arsehole piece of
shit for not crediting Jim'll paint it!"
http://goo.gl/o4DlsW
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: USVSTH3M
Some stuff we hope you like from our other site
* EPIC MANLINESS TEST - Test your osterone with
this uncannily accurate quiz.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/epic-manliness-test/
* FLAPPY PICKLES - Tories! Floods! Flappy Bird!
It's SATIRE!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/flappy-pickles/
* CAPTAIN KIRK, FREDDY KRUEGER, DR ZAIUS & R2D2
all taking time out for a little drink and a
snack between takes.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/76420089069/
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
>> Cat tries to apologise <<
Cats are not naturals at saying sorry.
Predictable results.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Cat_tries_to_Apologise
>> Billy Ray Cyrus twerking video <<
This is awful. So fucking awful. Therefore,
it's unmissable. Billy Ray Cyrus, a rapper and
gyrating aliens recreate Achy Breaky Heart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
>> 3D printed robot plays air hockey <<
This ticks any number of boxes for us. But
largely makes us sad that we'll no longer be
able to play air hockey without being bullied
by some stupid robot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Sci-Fi Sitcom Challenge
Last week we wanted you to do the same as
every other week, but with science fiction
and sitcoms
Your favourites included:
* TROTTER: positronic-brained android
falls in Peckham pub (Fresh Water Mole)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11054995
* MELDREW: curmudgeonly crank mishandles
alien lobster (Captain Howdy)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11056143
* NORDBERG: wookie pays surprise visit to
satirical squad (Fresh Water Mole)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11055094
All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/sci-fi-sitcoms/
>> New challenge: Shit Prequels <<
This week's challenge is to pretend you're
a useless movie mogul, and create shit and
pointless Hollywood prequels. Challenge
suggested by Mictoboy
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/shit-prequels/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* AN END TO THIS INFERNAL RAIN. No seriously,
it's beyond a joke now.
* A COOL TV to put in the kitchen. Mundane, but
entirely truthful.
* A BETTER WAY to market Valentines Day than
sending half-naked men to women's magazines.
You would not believe the number of hilariously
rage-filled complaints we've read today.
Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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Nice: [email protected]
Vice: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by sinisterduck,
zacherynuk, robneymcplum, Mastarbeiter,
Sweeplovesfisting, Marxist Pig and Gratch.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
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TOP TIP:
Look here
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/
