NEWSLETTER: WEETABIX IN A BOTTLE???
This Week:
* BLOWN - Your biggest opportunities
* PUFF DADDY - Fails at Twitter
* SHERLOCK - is weird and incompetent
-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the web...
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| eventually"
B3ta email 627 - 11 Apr 2014
Hit this newsletter where it hurts:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue627
Bigs : [email protected]
Smalls : [email protected]
-------------------------------------------------
: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
>> More accurate Tour of British Accents <<
"I tweaked a few things [from the viral hit
currently doing the rounds] to make it more
concise," writes mysticmurray. "And better."
http://youtu.be/lBXBNY3jFk4
>> Cowbrain Spacecomputer <<
"Here's a new music video I made for some crazy
Swedes at Mutant Swing Records," exclaims
smearballs. "It's a bit inspired by Cyriak's
cows but more like its hastily executed,
retarded cousin who doesn't get invited to the
family functions."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Cowbrain_Spacecomputer
>> PS4 vs XBOX One <<
"Here's a video I made for Mashed and b3ta's
own Superpowerless," explains Butters. "A
mighty rap battle to decide the best console."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/PS4_vs_XBOX_One
-------------------------------------------------
: USVSTH3M
* GIFtris - Let's design your game of animated
Tetris!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/giftris/
* How Fast Is Your Brain? - Can you answer the
comprehension questions correctly as you’re
forced to read faster & faster?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-fast-is-your-brain/
* Amateur Hacker Simulator - How many nerdy
easter eggs can you find?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/amateur-hacker-simulator...
-------------------------------------------------
: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Biggest Blown Opportunities
Last week we asked for the biggest thing you
turned down through laziness, indifference or
sheer idiocy:
http://b3ta.com/questions/blownopportunities/
* NAILED IT - "In the early 90s I auditioned to
review films alongside Johnny Vaughan on the
telly. All I had to do was be filmed talking
about the last movie I saw. The last film I'd
seen was Evita starring Madonna, but I was so
nervous my mind went completely blank. My
opening line of my review was, 'It's got Jimmy
Nail in it.' I then repeated, 'It's got Jimmy
Nail in it' a further 8 times. Each time I
delivered the line in slightly different ways.
Finally I held up a board with 4 stars on it.
The producers looked shocked and stunned. I
left in silence and funnily enough didn't hear
from them again." (Frankiepigeon)
* KONG - "The friend who first taught me to
photoshop had a long standing desire to emigrate
to New Zealand with his family. He also wanted
to do what he did best: mess around with
pictures all day long. So when he was offered a
job in New Zealand working for a new film
company who were rumoured to be planning a
remake of King Kong, I was quite surprised when
he said to me that he'd only accept if they were
definitely doing King Kong. When they couldn't
disclose what film they'd be making next, he
turned them down. He's regretted it ever since,
as he's always been a big Lord of the Rings
geek..." (dorje)
* IF - "If I had any talent and had practiced
all the time and if I was lucky enough to be
'spotted' at a young age and signed up to a top
club and if I had any interest in football
whatsoever and if my talent was nurtured in the
right way and if I had a good agent with my best
interests at heart who guided me through the
best transfers I could have really been a
contender. And there's a fairly good chance I
could get these damn rape charges dropped."
(Figmaus)
>> This Week - Drunk Shopping <<
For most people this is pretty harmless - the
odd duplicate CD, a dodgy morphsuit - but last
time we asked this question, someone had bought
their own gravestone:
http://b3ta.com/questions/drunkshopping/
-------------------------------------------------
: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
>> Puff Daddy Twitter fail <<
P Diddy tries to get his old Twitter handle
back. Fake but still funny.
http://goo.gl/lwWY5b
>> World's worst school science project <<
Photoshopped photos of epically uninspiring
school science projects.
http://goo.gl/GaMTRu
>> Untrusted game <<
You need to hack JavaScript to get out of the
maze - a good one if your job involves
debugging in any way.
http://alexnisnevich.github.io/untrusted/
>> The selfie flowchart <<
Should you take a selfie? This infographic has
the answers.
http://goo.gl/g1opaE
>> Composers doing normal shit <<
Here's Rachmaninoff in a fucking hammock.
Here's Debussy getting pissed. Who would have
thought young musicians could act like this??
http://composersdoingnormalshit.tumblr.com/
-------------------------------------------------
: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
>> Interviewer fail <<
Dutch reporter should think twice before
interviewing people on a yacht. The result is
inevitable. Also, it's a fake - but still
enjoyable, no?
http://b3ta.com/links/Interviewer_fail
>> Pupils prank mobilephone-hating teacher <<
Good natured gag as students play an April
Fools on the teacher who makes them take their
calls on speaker, if it rings in his class.
http://b3ta.com/links/1163315/
>> How to tell the time in Italy <<
Top tip for telling the time in the countryside.
http://b3ta.com/links/How_To_Tell_The_Time_In_Ital...
>> Sherlock's not dead <<
He's --anal-- alive! Dead-on Sherlock parody
with lovely autocomplete gags.
http://b3ta.com/links/Hes_not_dead
-------------------------------------------------
Blusher: [email protected]
Foundation: [email protected]
-------------------------------------------------
THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by colmcq2,
notoolsovernight, sinisterduck, Turquoise
Hexagon Sun, skeltonator, Queef In a Jar, Mex3,
jams and buffet_the_appetite_slayer.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Top tip via SpanishFly.
-------------------------------------------------
TOP TIP:
Apple, why not make the next iPhone a landline,
as it seems they're only useful when attached
to a fucking wall.
