NEWSLETTER: TERRY PRATCHETT RIP. SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH :(
This Week:
* EUROVISION - meets waffles
* QUESTION OF THE WEEK - it's back!
* EXPLOSIONS - 'Unnecessary' explosions!
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | (in the cloud & giving
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| it to the NSA #satire)"
B3ta email 655, a spooky Friday the 13th March '15
Read this pretending MySpace is coming back:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue655
Kiss us : [email protected]
Miss us : [email protected]
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: WATCHING THIS ZOOM WILL MAKE YOU BUY A CAMERA
Er... like /we've/ just done on a whim
So watch this amazing pan back zoom,
extraordinary yes?
https://gfycat.com/OblongFavoriteGiraffe
It was made on a £200 camera without any special
equipment. We mentioned this last week and got
one and yep, it's fucking awesome. We can
literally photograph One Canada Square from the
top of Hampstead Heath.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00E0YFOK...
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Songs, jokes, projects & art! Yay!
* EUROVISION WAFFLES MASH-UP - BrotherTrousers
has glued an old advert to the UK Eurovision
entry to amusing effect.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Eurovision_Waffles_Mashu...
* DANCING ON ICE - wait for it... wait for it...
yep, there's a joke. (Thanks SketchPhile)
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Dancing_on_ICE:2
* AUTOMATING YOUR LEGO TRAINS WITH ARDUINO - a
little project idea for you here, from
Grrrmachine.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Automating_your_Lego_tra...
* TAX DISC ART - simon writes, "Now that I've
become a dull-time dad, I wondered if I could
share my unique tax disc art in the hope I get
some more bespoke orders."
http://podcastrevision.org
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: B3TAN WRITES A BOOK
About a bloke fucking a toaster
Mike Woz Ere writes, "I've wrote a story that
people are calling 'the bible of our times.'
It's about a guy who fucks his toaster."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00TMVO2G...
FYI: We haven't read this, we're not
recommending it, but we ARE recommending you
look at the cover.
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: THE RETURN OF THE QUESTION OF THE WEEK
From the icy colds of laziness
Occasional B3tan 'Telly' asked us the other day,
"what happened to the Question of the Week' and
we felt a bit guilty. Essentially we've been busy
and let it slip. So in a burst of enthusiasm
we recruited a few new mods and are bringing
it back. But this will only work with your help.
If you want the Question of the Week to be good
then you've got to join in. It's up to you!
>> This week: Housemates From Hell III <<
McChinaman writes, "I once had a flatmate who
was so lazy he had a fungus growing in a cup in
his bedroom - it was white and whispy so he
nicknamed it "Albert". Tell us your tale of
living with the disturbed, the odd, the fragile
and the downright filthy."
Contribute NOW:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/housematesIII/
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: NEW ICONS
Yep, pixels for your messageboard profiles
You asked for new icons and you've GOT them -
Forklift by Bloop, Kim Jong-un by Monkeon,
Shamrock & Skull by Q4nobody. If you'd like them
on your account then donate now.
http://b3ta.com/features/appeal/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* LUKE HAINES RAGS ON NOEL GALLAGHER - Genius,
"Wonderwall is so dad-rock that Fathers for
Justice should use it as an anthem." It's a
brit-pop war!
http://goo.gl/vASNXL
* "I GHOSTWROTE JULIAN ASSANGE'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY"
A long, compelling, fascinating portrait of a
flawed man. If you've got Pocket or some reader
like that, pop it on that, as it'll take an
hour or two.
http://www.lrb.co.uk/v36/n05/andrew-ohagan/ghostin...
* WHEN ROCK 'N' ROLL LOOMED LARGE OVER THE
SUNSET STRIP - a forgotten artform that we
barely knew about - gone.
http://goo.gl/q2HNwL
* KINDLE COVER DISASTERS - just because you CAN
self-publish doesn't mean you SHOULD.
http://kindlecoverdisasters.tumblr.com/
* UNNECESSARY EXPLOSIONS - quite why we've never
done this as an image challenge is because we're
idiots.
http://imgur.com/gallery/DyT20
* CHUCK JONES' RULES FOR WRITING ROAD RUNNER
CARTOONS - this style guide is ALL style.
http://goo.gl/CdLJwB
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Photos that move with audio accompaniment
* FATHER HEARING SILENCE FOR THE FIRST TIME -
hey we're all old bastards reading this yeah?
You'll understand.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1282955
* EARLY CGI ON TOMORROW'S WORLD - fascinating
and reminds us we should go on a Tomorrow's
World binge on the BBC Archive, once the kids
are in bed tonight.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Early_CGI_Tomorrows_Worl...
* GORDON RAMSEY'S CRISPY PANCAKES - some neat
editing makes this the funniest thing you'll
watch on YouTube today.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Gordon_Ramsays_Crispy_Pa...
* INTERVIEW WITH APPLE'S TOP ENGINEERS -
gripping behind-the-scenes footages of people
who've worked with Ive and Cook.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/interview_with_one_of_th...
* HOW TO CONVERT A DOG INTO A POLICE DOG - with
this one simple trick that the cops don't want
you to know.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1284864
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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Loads of this fucking shit this week
* B.J. HARDICK - he's a chiropractor and deals
with er... bones. (Thanks clivepenfold)
http://www.hardickchiropractic.com/index.php/about...
* UPDATED LIST OF REAL PEOPLE WITH FUNNY NAMES
OF LINKEDIN - thanks to mikeyb77 for this
frankly amazing research.
Jayant Shitole
Tamara Wanker
Ufuk Tuna
Fanny De Cock
Gaye Kunt
Long Wang
Garth Brownsword
Wide Flange
Truman Hardon
* AND FINALLY ONE WE'LL MAKE YOU CLICK
THROUGH FOR - thanks to T-Bag for this.
http://www.nuffieldhealth.com/consultants/busch-c
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: FEATURING THE RETURN OF THE PHALLIC LOGO AWARDS!
Special digital government edition
MysteriousFinger writes, "I spotted a phallic
logo you might like to feature." You are not
wrong.
http://goo.gl/J6lxCh
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'Combine classic art' challenge
Last week we raided the art galleries and mashed
up the Old Masters.
Your favourites included:
* Odd Job: Magritte’s hidden love of Bond .
(just Dubya not so rubbery)
http://b3ta.com/board/11138584
* Last Supper: Rowdy crowd at Hopper’s Diner
(VicBrown)
http://b3ta.com/board/11138397
* Poke: God checks out his creation. (Ya What?)
http://b3ta.com/board/11138375
All these images, and a load more can be found
here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/combineoldart/
>> New challenge: Cats in Film <<
We're doing cats in films this week. Recast
classic movies with our feline friends and
rewrite award-winning screenplays from a cat's
perspective. Bonus points for filming your own
cat and winning an Oscar..
http://b3ta.com/challenge/catfilms/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* WE GOT AN ANGRY EMAIL ABOUT DRUM MACHINES -
Rodney writes, "your bit on the drum machine
you punted for was a piece of shit. Truthfully
it wasn't the bit but the existence of those
fucking machines that pisses me off.
"There is no fucking machine ever built that
can reproduce the sounds a live drummer makes
and that is for starters. If you think a bit
you'll come up with a gazillion other reasons
why they should be banned & sold only in Moscow
or Iraq."
Er... drum machines were invented in 1959, so
we suspect that ship has sailed.
* B3TA GETS MENTIONED IN A BOOK - Charles Seife
writes, "I've been reading b3ta on and off since
the late 90s... since before Rickrolling
replaced goatse-ing, and before badgers were
associated in any way with mushrooms.
"I'm writing because I've got a book out this
week that makes a mention or two of b3ta in it,
and the b3tards might be interested. You can
check it out here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/067002608...
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Hello: [email protected]
Unhello: [email protected]
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Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard:
https://twitter.com/b3ta
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by artifus,
robneymcplum, HappyToast, Dawn Of The Bread,
Mehitabel_Itrang, fred zeppelin, terror_onion,
smaggers.
Subjlolz via HappyToast.
Image challenge by HappyToast.
The new three is team QOTW.
Subjlols via mr-lizard.
Hello to KKKKkat, who suggested we bring the
QOTW back.
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TOP TIP:
Politics students: Feel like a REAL politician
whilst at university by claiming for another
student loan on a second hall of residence.
