NEWSLETTER: "NEWSLETTER 664?! WE DEMAND A RECOUNT!"
"NEWSLETTER 664?! WE DEMAND A RECOUNT!"
This Week:
* SNOPES - B3ta's special mention! Yay!
* BOOK - How I Created Katie Hopkins by Adolf Hitler
* FRIDAY GAME - it returns!
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're shaving the yak,
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | together & always,
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| since 2001"
B3ta email 664 - 15 April 2015
Read this issue whilst using helium responsibly:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue664
Friend b3ta on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
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: SPONSORED LINK
Primus - Live
What the heck are Primus Songs about? Ahead of
their June dates in London, Manchester and
Birmingham, Les Claypool talks in his own words
about some of their biggests tracks...
Southpark, Tommy The Cat, Wynona's Big Brown
Beaver.
http://bit.ly/go-on-go-to-a-gig-get-out-man
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than cooking up delicious crack
>> P.C. hipsta <<
Did you catch the #HipsterCop thing on Twitter -
essential a policeman with a very fashionable
beard was photographed at an anti-austerity
protest. Driverchris was quick-thinking enough
to turn the whole thing into a fantastic tumblr
cartoon: this is the fuzz that doesn't want to
harsh your buzz.
http://pchipsta.tumblr.com/
>> How I Created Katie Hopkins by Adolf Hitler <<
An extraordinary short book has been written by
Barry Sausages and for three days he's given you
an exclusive offer. You can download it for free
(on Sat or Sun) on Amazon for your Kindle app.
Worth looking at for the superb cover alone.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00XLR2Z1...
>> Nile Rodgers & Stephen Hawkings Collaborate <<
Giveover7 writes, "Stephen Hawking at
Glastonbury Festival? Leaked photos of him and
Nile Rodgers in the studio? You guessed it! The
two legends of music and brainy stuff have
teamed up to make the sure-fire album of the
year. Here is the never-before-seen TV advert
for the upcoming Nile & Steve duets album,
released summer 2015."
https://youtu.be/EjL2MF_nKg8
>> Sir Ian Bowler on the election <<
The wonderful and very sexy @natt doing his take
on the election.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sir_Ian_Bowler_on_the_el...
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: BLAST FROM THE PAST
Old b3ta image has made it onto Snopes
Loving this detailed and oh-so-serious debunking
of 2009 image from our site, and what's more, it
really shows the work that goes into some of the
B3ta photoshops. It's a tribute to us all.
http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/mickeycheese.as...
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'Bad Advice' challenge
Last week we asked to see examples of terrible
advice, be it movie nonsense or rubbish your
parents told you.
Your favourites included:
* Glass: Vent frustration here. (HappyToast)
http://b3ta.com/board/11149211
* Gardening: terrible advice from the strangely
familiar old man. (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11150155
* Assembly: ill conceived get together.
(inexpressible)
http://b3ta.com/board/11149205
All these images, and a load more can be found
here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/badadvice/
>> New challenge: Fingers <<
We really want to see those fingers. Show us
your digits, your chocolate fingers, fish
fingers and sponge lady fingers, craft
plasticine models with your own hands or send us
your finger paintings.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/fingers/
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FRIEND B3TA ON FACEBOOK
We're net survivalists bunkering down for the
webpocalpse where the only thing with traffic
power is Facebook. Might happen, might not, but FB
is the 1,000 pound gollira in the room eating
everyone's lunch of mixed mataphors.
'Instant Articles' are the latest thing to make
the publishing industry panic, but if we're
honest, we'd love a play producing them but only a
handful of high profile partners have been
selected to have a go. BOO!
Interesting times we live in, interesting times.
But in the meantime make sure you friend us as
that's where we generally stick breaking news so
you'll get things earlier than the newsletter. And
the odd suspicious looking sausage.
http://facebook.com/b3tan
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* TYPING DRUM MACHINE - This sound toy is
awesome and innovative. Type a word and it turns
it into a 'sick beat'. 50p says that you end up
typing swears into the thing. You naughty
sausages, you!
http://typedrummer.com/
* THIS STORY WILL MAKE YOU CRY - an interview
with Big Bird that make us well-up the
sentimental tears of the truly hard-hearted.
http://bit.ly/sobby-sobby-tears-tears/
* SATIRE! A complete list of all scientists who
have become creationists after studying the
evidence.
http://bit.ly/richard-dawkins-says-megalolz
* SEX AND PROPAGANDA - a fascinting collection
of WW2 propaganda. You will click. You will
enjoy, comrade.
http://www.psywarrior.com/sexandprop2.html
* MASSIVE RESOURCE OF FUTURE PREDICTIONS -
always good fun this stuff.
http://paleofuture.com/
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: GOODBYE USVSTH3M *SOB*
Our sister project is no more
Lots we could write about this but now is not
the time, but your B3ta editor is pleased that
the final bit of editorial work he did was to
encourage his colleagues to add a wig to the
'Slap Michael Gove' toy after a barrister got in
touch with that very request. So together, let's
slap Michael Gove, for one last time! (Current
count: about 45 Million slaps - we're proud of
you Britain.)
http://games.usvsth3m.com/slap-michael-gove/
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JOIN B3TA ON TWITTER
You know the score. This is the bit of the
newsletter where we tell you to follow B3ta on
Twitter. For your click you'll get front paged
images, the odd link and a reminder once a week to
read a newsletter. GOD THAT SOUNDS DULL. It's not!
It's fucking fantastic.
https://twitter.com/b3ta
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Insert 'animated gif with sound' joke here
* BBC CUNTY LOLS - did a BBC reporter just
accidentally call Nigel Farage and the UK
Independence Party (UKIP) a "c**t" live on air?
HELL YES! It's about 25 seconds in.
http://bit.ly/worth-paying-license-fee-twice-for
* GAMESHOW - watch two women blow into a tube
with a cockroach in it. What a time we live in
that you can watch this on your computer.
http://gfycat.com/FinishedScratchyFoxhound
* DAVID CAMERON DOES A SPIDEY STRUT - artifus
writes, "Having just claimed a majority
government and after recently seeing Spider-Man
3, David Cameron decides he has only one thing
left to do... Strut!"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/David_Cameron_does_the_S...
* SHIT FLOWS DOWN, MAAN - This just about sums
up everything about life.
http://bit.ly/official-b3ta-management-techniques
* LEROY JENKINS IS TEN - remember this classic
meme? OLD MEMES! WE'RE ALL OLD NOW!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Leroy_Jenkins_is_10
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: FRIDAY GAME
Don't click this link if you value work
Cute numbers game that's a bit like the
time-sucking hit 2048. The link goes to a web
version but there is also a mobile app
available. Kept us clicking for a good twenty
minutes then we remembered we had a newsletter
to write. (Also like 2048, we wonder if it could
be remade with gif uploads.)
http://twenty.frenchguys.net/
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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Rude Toy Story card
* Iowaseven says, "I live out in the colonies,
and found this card for sale. It's an official
Hallmark/Pixar product, and I don't think it's
for sale in the UK..."
http://i.imgur.com/r9S7IgI.jpg
* Naming a road after a local historian doesn't
sound controversial but...
http://bit.ly/yeah-not-the-best-local-council-idea
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories
* CAR CRASH VIDEO - samgrimmett writes, "A few
years ago you featured my mate's video in the
newsletter. It was about seatbelt safety and
ended up going viral and winning "YouTube Ad of
the Year" as well as a Bronze Lion at Cannes.
First of all - thank you for helping with that!
It was so great that the vid hit such a nerve
and (hopefully) changed some habits. Second of
all, he's made a new thing. This time it's about
car seats (but with a similar emotive twist) and
I know many of us B3tans are of the age now (or
past it, cough cough...) where we might be
interested in such a thing."
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* PISS STORIES - CapnChkn helpfully informs us,
"Urine is an excellent fertilizer. I can tell
you from personal experience it will burn your
plants, as it's chemically rich in Nitrogen.
Sterile directly from a healthy bladder, it
needs to be diluted 10:1 with water, and is
perfectly acceptable to use directly in your
garden!" Thanks dude! Happy piss-time!
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: GOATS
Yep, it's a bonus image challeneg. Huzzah!
Last week we had an extra image challenge
to celebrate the wonder that is the goat.
Why? because we can.
You can see the goats in all their glory here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/goats/
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Friends: [email protected]
Bastards: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by colmcq2 Fluffster,
tits, monkeyboyalpha, notoolsovernight, Chicken
rhythm, Fluffster & zacherynuk.
Image challenge by Happy Toast.
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'Frenemy' b3ta on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
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