NEWSLETTER: "THIS IS FRIDAY. YOUR CALENDAR IS WRONG."
This Week:
* SONG - Are you slightly alt-right?
* CHALLENGE - Sportmanteaus
* NO APOLOGIES - You're early, we're not late
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're on time as usual
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | as we're a quality
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| news service"
B3ta email 701 - 04 Nov 2018
Read this issue using your butt reader:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue701
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: ARE YOU SLIGHTLY ALT-RIGHT?
Listen to the song and find out
Unless you've been hiding under a rock you
might have noticed that there's a lot of
dickheads on the internet calling themselves
the "alt-right" - Bonnie_prince_bob has made a
song to annoy them, so hopefully that'll solve
everything.
https://www.b3ta.com/links/Slightly_Alt_right
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Twitter is just Instagram for the ugly
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: CAN YOU PHOTOGRAPH CRISP SANDWICHES?
What about 100 of them?
Matt Round writes, "I'm looking for someone who
loves crisp sandwiches? Here's the brief for
the job, payment will be in the form of a lot
of crisps, small token payment & fame/glory."
(You might remember Matt for stuff like
Programmer or Serial Killer quiz from the
1970s.)
https://twitter.com/mattround/status/1058072345280...
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Find your "Brexit Name" by replacing anything
that sounds a "bit foreign" in your name with
something unambiguously English: Smith, Teabags,
Queuing, Racism etc.
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: SPOOKY VIDEO
From Cyriak
Halloween has passed but Cyriak has produced
some "boney goodness" which will stay fresh in
the can long after such trivial things as time
passing.
https://www.b3ta.com/links/A_spooky_video_for_you
Cyriak also says, "Horse Destroys the Universe
update: Just in case anyone was wondering
what's happening with my book, it's currently
at the editing stage, where a professional
editor reads through it and gives me
suggestions for improvements. I'm also working
on the cover design this month. The rough
estimate they gave for release is next summer."
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Who's the shittiest scientist we could put on
money?
What about Thomas Midgley - he invented leaded
gasoline and Freon the CFC that fucked the ozone
layer.
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Animal Halloween
Here's the best images from last week:
* Dick Beattie as a cat from Atomic
http://b3ta.com/board/11269462
* An angler fish from Monkeon
http://b3ta.com/board/11269369
* And this from R2Dtard
http://b3ta.com/board/11269574
* See all the other images from the 'Animal
Halloween' challenge:
https://b3ta.com/challenge/animalhalloween/popular
>> This week: Sportmanteaus <<
Take a sportsman and a connected familiar
phrase or thing and blend them together to make
a Sportmanteau. Like Usain Bolt Cutters, Andy
Murray Mints or Frank Bruno Brookes. It's
Sportmanteaus!
http://b3ta.com/challenge/sportmanteau/popular
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SLOGANS FOR THE NEW 50p
* Current retail value: 1p.
* Heads: you won get over it
Tails: you lost, get over it
* Please exchange this coin for adequate food"
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* The commonest organism on our planet was only
discovered 5 years ago and it's not of enough
interest to the world to warrant more than a
few lines on Wikipedia. However there is a
GREAT Youtube video that caused us to fall into
a massive YouTube hole and watch all of them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* HISTORY OF HOW QUIZNOS FUCKED-UP - complete
with mention of Joel Veitch / Rathergood. We're
rather proud that we played a small part in
bringing down an sandwich giant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* AUDIO DEVICE FOR "FEMALES" - fuck knows what
this manufacturer is thinking, apparently
launching a thing to plug in a mic to you
laptop that's designed for "females" and looks
like a make-up kit.
http://www.midiplus.com/html/MIRROR.html
* AMAZING FANCY DRESS THREAD - where people
dress as very mundane things like "person with
coffee spilt on them."
https://twitter.com/Mulboyne/status/10585719096993...
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Amused that Netflix are launching a show called
"Jingle Jangle", clearly without asking the UK
branch where the phrase was the catchphrase of
the notorious child-diddler Jimmy Savile.
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: ED ZITRON - "WHY I'M ADDICTED TO PELOTON"
Patreon ad
"I wrote for Motherboard about why I'm addicted
to peloton and how it helps keep my obsessive
thoughts about my weight down" writes Ed.
https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/vba4dx/...
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There should be only bad people on money to help
wean us off the worst drug in the world.
Hitler - £5
Myra Hindley - £10
Bono - £20
Thatcher - £50
We can keep the Queen of course.
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
By making ideas like these
* A make a "wish app" that when you tap the
your phone and it shows an animation of a coin
going into a well and charges you a pound.
* Meghan Count - there's probably a project for
someone in doing a Daily Mail Front Page Meghan
count over time. Current rating: 34.
* An off button for the internet.
Tell us about your stuff here:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
You lovely people
*STOOBERT*, *JOSH MCMILLAN*, *TOM JENKINS
BATES*, *JON GRANT*, *SHOWRAT*, *SIMON JAMES*,
*TREVOR BURTON-MCCREADIE*, *MR PHIL DONNELLY*,
*KATE*, *JAMES PETTS*, *STEWART NOLAN*, *MARK
MCCREADIE*, *ALEX MORRIS*, *JAMES O'BRIEN*
GEORGE STEPHENSON, NAT KING COLESLAW, ANDREW
WREN, JAMES CRONIN, ALISTAIR, IAN SHEEN, MARK
ADAMSON, ANDREW FLEMMING, ALAN CHARLTON,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH,
CHRIS BLAKENEY, BEVAN JOHNSON, CRISS MORENO, JO
APPS, CHRIS LOCKE, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, GREG
MCGOWAN, RICHARD BARCLAY, PATRICK CATES, 24-7
DEATH, TOM WRIGHT, JON BINSTEAD, SIMON
NICHOLLS, CHRIS CARLINE, BRIAN EELES, MICHAEL
TRINDER, 5 + REWARD DESCRIPTION, EUGENIE VT,
TOM DOLAN.
lee burnett, Bloonface , Shane McHugh, Joe
Banner, Chris Garratt, Jim Woodward, Rebecca
McManus, Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Martin Davies,
George Preston, Chris Saunders, Mike Middleton,
Richard Matthias, AuntieSash Hazlewood, Brad
Gregory, Graham Licence, Paul Rose (Mr Biffo),
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Alex Walsh Atkins, Mick Curtis, Craig Turner,
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peter royal, Harry Wearne, Duncan STrickland,
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John Griffiths, Nick Murdoch, Rob Potter, James
Meers, 5telios , Paul Mancini, Al Napp, Tanya
Kant, Jon Ramster, David Whittam, Jace Otting,
BSG , Andrew Harris, Chris Ward, Adam Tickner,
Peter , Emily Payne, Tim Polglase, Ted Bowyer,
Matt Carr, Bobod , Michael Bryan, Richard
Midwinter, Neil Ives, Mark Ryan, Ben Chapman,
David Bond, Ben , Robert Simpson, Gary Sharp,
Andy Shirling, Fenris Games, James , Jim
Lucking, mark madgwick, Ben Sugden, Russell
Webster, Sham Courtney, Louis E, Andrea Vail,
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Nigel Ford, Gwyn Fisher, Matt Loren, Centuries
of Sound, Amy Oliver, Christina Freeman, Paul
Braithwaite, Tom Clark, Gregg Kuljian, Richard
Abraham, Paul Slade, Alex Wrottesley, Ivan
Shiel, Claire Allen, Iain M Barker, Dan Fairs,
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ben cowell-thomas, Robert Purkis, Oli , Andy
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Emma Nicol, Paul Bayfield, Swedemason , Jon
Bounds, Stéphane.
Other thanks: Rob Manuel for writing this
shite. Monkeon, HappyToast, Matt Round, Wil &
Krix for other stuff.
Bung us some money. Thank you.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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TOP TIP:
Work toilets actually share many of the same
features as the toilets outside of your place
of work. Such as a handle for flushing and a
seat that lifts. (Weejock)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/
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