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This Week:
* SONG - Are you slightly alt-right?
* CHALLENGE - Sportmanteaus
* NO APOLOGIES - You're early, we're not late

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're on time as usual
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   as we're a quality
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     news service"

B3ta email 701 - 04 Nov 2018

Read this issue using your butt reader:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue701

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: ARE YOU SLIGHTLY ALT-RIGHT?
  Listen to the song and find out  

  Unless you've been hiding under a rock you
  might have noticed that there's a lot of
  dickheads on the internet calling themselves
  the "alt-right" - Bonnie_prince_bob has made a
  song to annoy them, so hopefully that'll solve
  everything.
https://www.b3ta.com/links/Slightly_Alt_right

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Twitter is just Instagram for the ugly

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: CAN YOU PHOTOGRAPH CRISP SANDWICHES?
  What about 100 of them?
  
  Matt Round writes, "I'm looking for someone who
  loves crisp sandwiches? Here's the brief for
  the job, payment will be in the form of a lot
  of crisps, small token payment & fame/glory."

  (You might remember Matt for stuff like
  Programmer or Serial Killer quiz from the
  1970s.)
https://twitter.com/mattround/status/1058072345280176135

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Find your "Brexit Name" by replacing anything
that sounds a "bit foreign" in your name with
something unambiguously English: Smith, Teabags,
Queuing, Racism etc.

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: SPOOKY VIDEO
  From Cyriak
  
  Halloween has passed but Cyriak has produced
  some "boney goodness" which will stay fresh in
  the can long after such trivial things as time
  passing.
https://www.b3ta.com/links/A_spooky_video_for_you

  Cyriak also says, "Horse Destroys the Universe
  update: Just in case anyone was wondering
  what's happening with my book, it's currently
  at the editing stage, where a professional
  editor reads through it and gives me
  suggestions for improvements. I'm also working
  on the cover design this month. The rough
  estimate they gave for release is next summer."

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Who's the shittiest scientist we could put on
money?

What about Thomas Midgley - he invented leaded
gasoline and Freon the CFC that fucked the ozone
layer.

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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Animal Halloween

  Here's the best images from last week:

  *  Dick Beattie as a cat  from Atomic
http://b3ta.com/board/11269462

  * An angler fish from Monkeon
http://b3ta.com/board/11269369

  * And this from R2Dtard
http://b3ta.com/board/11269574

  * See all the other images from the 'Animal
  Halloween' challenge:
https://b3ta.com/challenge/animalhalloween/popular


  >> This week: Sportmanteaus <<
  Take a sportsman and a connected familiar
  phrase or thing and blend them together to make
  a Sportmanteau. Like Usain Bolt Cutters, Andy
  Murray Mints or Frank Bruno Brookes. It's
  Sportmanteaus!
http://b3ta.com/challenge/sportmanteau/popular

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SLOGANS FOR THE NEW 50p
   
* Current retail value: 1p.

* Heads: you won get over it
  Tails: you lost, get over it

* Please exchange this coin for adequate food"

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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  * The commonest organism on our planet was only
  discovered 5 years ago and it's not of enough
  interest to the world to warrant more than a
  few lines on Wikipedia. However there is a
  GREAT Youtube video that caused us to fall into
  a massive YouTube hole and watch all of them.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YI3tsmFsrOg

  * HISTORY OF HOW QUIZNOS FUCKED-UP - complete
  with mention of Joel Veitch / Rathergood. We're
  rather proud that we played a small part in
  bringing down an sandwich giant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGVWinAEGoo

  * AUDIO DEVICE FOR "FEMALES" - fuck knows what
  this manufacturer is thinking, apparently
  launching a thing to plug in a mic to you
  laptop that's designed for "females" and looks
  like a make-up kit.
http://www.midiplus.com/html/MIRROR.html

  * AMAZING FANCY DRESS THREAD - where people
  dress as very mundane things like "person with
  coffee spilt on them."
https://twitter.com/Mulboyne/status/1058571909699317760

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Amused that Netflix are launching a show called
"Jingle Jangle", clearly without asking the UK
branch where the phrase was the catchphrase of
the notorious child-diddler Jimmy Savile.

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: ED ZITRON - "WHY I'M ADDICTED TO PELOTON"
  Patreon ad
  
  "I wrote for Motherboard about why I'm addicted
  to peloton and how it helps keep my obsessive
  thoughts about my weight down" writes Ed. 
https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/vba4dx/my-gamer-brain-is-addicted-to-the-peloton-exercise-bike

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There should be only bad people on money to help
wean us off the worst drug in the world.

Hitler - £5
Myra Hindley - £10
Bono - £20
Thatcher - £50

We can keep the Queen of course.

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
  By making ideas like these

  * A make a "wish app" that when you tap the
  your phone and it shows an animation of a coin
  going into a well and charges you a pound.

  * Meghan Count - there's probably a project for
  someone in doing a Daily Mail Front Page Meghan
  count over time. Current rating: 34.

  * An off button for the internet.

  Tell us about your stuff here:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: PATREON THANKS
  You lovely people

  *STOOBERT*, *JOSH MCMILLAN*, *TOM JENKINS
  BATES*, *JON GRANT*, *SHOWRAT*, *SIMON JAMES*,
  *TREVOR BURTON-MCCREADIE*, *MR PHIL DONNELLY*,
  *KATE*, *JAMES PETTS*, *STEWART NOLAN*, *MARK
  MCCREADIE*, *ALEX MORRIS*, *JAMES O'BRIEN*

  GEORGE STEPHENSON, NAT KING COLESLAW, ANDREW
  WREN, JAMES CRONIN, ALISTAIR, IAN SHEEN, MARK
  ADAMSON, ANDREW FLEMMING, ALAN CHARLTON,
  SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH,
  CHRIS BLAKENEY, BEVAN JOHNSON, CRISS MORENO, JO
  APPS, CHRIS LOCKE, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, GREG
  MCGOWAN, RICHARD BARCLAY, PATRICK CATES, 24-7
  DEATH, TOM WRIGHT, JON BINSTEAD, SIMON
  NICHOLLS, CHRIS CARLINE, BRIAN EELES, MICHAEL
  TRINDER, 5 + REWARD DESCRIPTION, EUGENIE VT,
  TOM DOLAN.

  lee burnett, Bloonface , Shane McHugh, Joe
  Banner, Chris Garratt, Jim Woodward, Rebecca
  McManus, Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Martin Davies,
  George Preston, Chris Saunders, Mike Middleton,
  Richard Matthias, AuntieSash Hazlewood, Brad
  Gregory, Graham Licence, Paul Rose (Mr Biffo),
  Ed Can Do, C Bond, Fergus McKay, Steve herman,
  Alex Walsh Atkins, Mick Curtis, Craig Turner,
  Joshua Thomasson, Dog Byte, Fearghas , Chris
  Gough, fourstar , Jonty Wareing, Nathaniel
  Bandersnatch, Montocat , Rob Affleck, Rhys
  Wynne, Marina de Joslin, Jasper Koning, Ryan
  Rhodes, Chris Whitworth, James Macinnes, Geoff
  Tidey, John Higgs, Daniel Chote, Geoffrey
  Balme, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Mark Wilson, Paul
  Cherry, Nick Ross, Ian Beveridge, Alex Mastin,
  Raul Arreola, Faith H. Martin, David King,
  Jaymie Thomas, Sam Russell, David Knoll, Ben
  Watson, Simon Holmes, Steve P, Gaynor Clarkson,
  Saleem Ahmad, nicholas martin, Jim MacArthur,
  John Hammersley, Andy Yates`, Andy Webber,
  David Gardiner, Adam Molloy, Simon McDougall,
  Craig Tonks, Anna , Peter Gosling, Jason
  Stewart, Dave Nattriss, Philip Kinchington, Ian
  Boltz, Matt Drewry, Derek ROBERTS, Robbie
  Lesiuk, Bertram Wooster, Adam Inglis, James
  Clayton, Jim Frayling,  Mike Middleton, Scott
  S. Kramer, Joe Simmonds, Julie Brumlik, Rob
  Mahon, Paul Leader, Ivan Kelly, J&#464;m
  McN&#464;ven, Paul Healey, Andy Ashton, Tom
  Rees-Williams, David Mills, Martin Beer,
  midnightrambler , matsimpsk , Jim Halfpenny,
  Dave Tickle, Matthew Forman, Gareth Noyce,
  Chris Paterson, James Woods, pookong , oliver
  bewes, Iain , Adam Cooney, Sam Anderson, Albion
  Gray, Rupert Hull, Simon waterfall, Paul
  Westerman, Courtenay Ferris, Andy Tillett, Essy
  Dave, Martin Peache, Jerry Quartley, Bertil
  Hansson, Carl Morgan, Mark Hibbett, Daniel
  Brown, Rich Pope, John Matthews, JOHNNY
  WATTERS, Jamie Taylor, Adrian Woodfield, Stuart
  Ashen, Vicki Jakes, Jane Baker, Paul Smith,
  Will Goulden, Simon Cowan, Robin Whitmore,
  Steven Smith, Matthew Wilkes, Dan Stott,
  Siobhan McNally, Bill Atkinson, Starlord
  Mixtape, Gneissrocks , Steve Prowse, Tyronne
  Mann, Andy Storrar, Jay Roche, Peter Willman,
  Sarah Williamson, Kevin Johnston, Tom Gleeson,
  Ed Cook, Catroaster , Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
  mil jamieson, Tom Crick, Ben Burton, Peter
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  Collinge, Joey moore, Mark Hill, Joe McNally,
  Tom Ryan, Peter McMinn, Ryan Doran, Konrad
  Petrusewicz, Wil Hadden, James Donnelly, Frank
  Hollis, sean casely, Al Davidson, martin
  mackenzie, Gus Nicol, Martin Holloway, Mike
  Davis, Steve Thornton, Tim Mouncer, peter
  wouda, Fraser Lewry, Matthew Morris, Rob
  Vincent, Chris Shaw, Rick Lindley, Greg
  Neilson, blossomshed , Jude Evans, Kev Adams,
  Simon Smith, @mattdawhit , Brian Lancaster,
  Iain Henshaw, Mathew Smith, Gia Milinovich,
  Fiona James, Robert Hills, Anne-Marie Scott,
  James Kerry-Barnard, Greenfox , Neil de
  Carteret, Stephen Waller, Luke Mepham, Stuart
  Alldred, Adam Lloyd, Andrew Scheuber, Chris
  Branch, Jonathan Wooddin, OBiW4N SHiNOBi,
  Dominic Haigh, TownsendsPublisher , Steve
  Anglesey, Iain Brassington, Heidi Colthup, Ross
  Carter, Chris Evans, Edward Almond, James
  Golbey, Johnnie Shannon, Alex Lovett, Peter
  Coombe, David Ault, Kate Devlin, James
  Shakespeare, Tim Weaver, Lisa Westhaven, James
  O'Malley, Emma Lay, RossOverThere , Tim Jokl,
  Catherine McAllister, Steve Laker, Damien
  Smith, Jim Dabell, John Faragher, Eric von
  Borstel, Malcolm Franks, Richard Beckett, ,
  William Garratt, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, Iain
  Moffatt, Justin Brett, Louise Allen, David
  Green, Riven A Buckley, Robin , Luche , Ian
  Appleby, Pete , Tobie Fysh, Gavin Tommey,
  Stuart Richards, David Barton, Jess Baker, Tom
  Freke, Jan Spielhoff, Sean Flanagan, Mike
  Congreve, Chris Johnson, John Field, Emma
  Sykes, Carl Mesner Lyons, Ross Dobson, David
  Stark, Adam Beardwood, Danny Kodicek, Dominic
  Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson, Chris Goode, Andrew
  Robinson, Nicky Hewgill, Michael Kitt, Tim
  Beachy, Rose Johnson, Paul Topping, Connor
  Parslow, Daniel Moeller, Irene Semanchuk,
  Alexandre Strube, Craig Naples, Richard Speed,
  Alastair Dodd, Rhys Jones, Joseph Mulvaney,
  Julie Beacock, Sentient Meatbag, Dan Tasse,
  peter royal, Harry Wearne, Duncan STrickland,
  Andy Candler, Peter Cooper, Deny Coughlan, Russ
  Anderson, Nick Kent, Jonathan , Phil H, Andrew
  Anderson, Ian Silvester, Ben Webb, Graham
  Freeman, Dave Gee, Wine School of Philadelphia,
  John Griffiths, Nick Murdoch, Rob Potter, James
  Meers, 5telios , Paul Mancini, Al Napp, Tanya
  Kant, Jon Ramster, David Whittam, Jace Otting,
  BSG , Andrew Harris, Chris Ward, Adam Tickner,
  Peter , Emily Payne, Tim Polglase, Ted Bowyer,
  Matt Carr, Bobod , Michael Bryan, Richard
  Midwinter, Neil Ives, Mark Ryan, Ben Chapman,
  David Bond, Ben , Robert Simpson, Gary Sharp,
  Andy Shirling, Fenris Games, James , Jim
  Lucking, mark madgwick, Ben Sugden, Russell
  Webster, Sham Courtney, Louis E, Andrea Vail,
  Rohan , Sam Brown, Marc Lindberg, Hugh Noble,
  Nigel Ford, Gwyn Fisher, Matt Loren, Centuries
  of Sound, Amy Oliver, Christina Freeman, Paul
  Braithwaite, Tom Clark, Gregg Kuljian, Richard
  Abraham, Paul Slade, Alex Wrottesley, Ivan
  Shiel, Claire Allen, Iain M Barker, Dan Fairs,
  Tony East, Cat Conner, Jennifer Moquin, Claire
  Zolkwer, Seirian Hanner, Thea Mallett, Nick ,
  ben cowell-thomas, Robert Purkis, Oli , Andy
  Nattan, Alex Wren, Martin Vindahl Olsen, Ilya
  &#268;olak-Anti&#263;, Adam Kaczmarek, Mike
  Carter, Daz Wright, Stewart C. Russell, John M,
  P Underwood, Thepfy , Hadleigh Charles, Mark
  McIntosh, Stephen Williams, Peter Wood, Darren
  John Harris, Mike Booth, Simon Lumb, Tim
  Knight, FuzzyFreaks , Stephen McAuley, Phil
  Barns, wigglywigglyworm , Lyra Jay, Lee Ball,
  Richard keeling, David Ellinor, Rachel Tougas,
  Ben Groom, Mr Flibble, Dave The Hammer Parry,
  Emma Nicol, Paul Bayfield, Swedemason , Jon
  Bounds, Stéphane.

  Other thanks: Rob Manuel for writing this
  shite. Monkeon, HappyToast, Matt Round, Wil &
  Krix for other stuff.

  Bung us some money. Thank you.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

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  TOP TIP:
  Work toilets actually share many of the same
  features as the toilets outside of your place
  of work. Such as a handle for flushing and a
  seat that lifts. (Weejock)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/  

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