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NEWSLETTER: "WHAT'S THICK AND LIVES ON A GLOBE? A FLAT-EARTHER"

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This Week:
* TOOL - Have you tweeted more than Shakespeare?
* ANOTHER TOOLS - Convert yourself into triangles
* DANCE - Like a groovy soviet

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're stinking up the 
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |  the bog with our big
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  shits  ... together"

B3ta virtual email 726 - 08 Sep 2019

Read this issue to your dog, see if it barks:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue726

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK #1
  Other than storing farts in bottles

  >> Have you tweeted more words than Shakespeare? <<
  Monkeon writes, "I made a new
  calculator/challenge, which was mostly inspired
  by [redacted]'s inability to stop tweeting
  despite obviously having had an intervention
  from his wife." Which book have you tweeted
  more words than?
https://www.monkeon.co.uk/beatproustswordcount/ 

  >> Come to the triangle zone <<
  Jonty Wareing writes, "I made a thing that
  converts you into triangles, because geometric
  people are better people." We found this fun, a
  bit like trying to crack one out to Chocky.
https://twitter.com/jonty/status/11700861672719196...

  >> Look at some shit gifs <<
  To celebrate  @geocitiesgifbot reaching 3,000
  followers your editor thought he'd do a quick
  thread of some of his favourite gifs that the
  randomiser code has found along the way, when
  it's not accidentally posting porn.
https://twitter.com/geocitiesgifbot/status/1168566...

  >> Buy Happy Toast's brexit book <
  HappyToast's publication "So you've gone and
  done a Brexit: A Govern-mental booklet on
  surviving food shortages, making your own
  medicine and sacrificing loved ones" probably
  merits a push given news events. So here's the
  push. C'mon everyone PUSH!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/17989002...

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Ironically, Mary Beard is the only member of ZZ
Top without a history degree.

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: EGG POD DOES NICKY CAMPBELL
  On George Harrison's 33 & 1/3rd

  Chris Shaw is going from strength to strong
  mints with his superb Beatles podcast and we're
  mentioning this episode specifically as it
  gives us an opportunity to role out a small
  anecdote about Nicky Campbell. Your editors
  first ever media(ish) job was working on a TV
  pilot with Campbell in 1995 and we quizzed him
  about how he predicted people's star signs on
  his radio 1 show at the time. His answer has
  always stuck with us: "the researcher asks when
  their birthday is." Genius, really.
https://twitter.com/IAmTheEggPod/status/1169646028...

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Calling it spagbol is only acceptable if you also
call Tony Hadley's old band spanbal.

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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Content from people outside the B3ta universe

  * SOVIET SOLDIERS DANCING - we particularly
  like the Joy Division one,
https://twitter.com/communistbops

  * MADNESS TAKE YOU ON A TOUR OF CAMDEN - lovely
  video were the nutty gents take you round their
  old haunts in Camden. All old bands should do
  this. We want Miles Hunt taking us round
  Wolverhampton and Simon Le Bongo guiding us
  around Brum.
https://www.youtube.com/watch

  * CUTE PLATFORM GAME - we played this for a
  good ten mins before deciding we should get on
  with procrastinating on social media.
https://kongregate.com/games/eddynardo/hasty-shama...

  * HOW FAR CAN YOU GET IN THIS GAME BEFORE IT
  REBOOTS? Nicely designed retro minigames thing.
  If you don't read the instructions, then you
  need to know that the first answer is Toolkit.
https://levimoore.itch.io/only-one-minute-before-r...

  * EVERYTHING A DEVELOPER HAS GOOGLED IN A WEEK
  - not particularly b3taish but interesting; our
  list would be terrifyingly long and very little
  to do with work.
  https://localghost.dev/2019/09/everything-i-
  googled-in-a-week-as-a-professional-software-
  engineer/

  * THE TRUE HORROR OF GREGGS - cooking with
  human sound effects needs to be a bigger thing.
https://twitter.com/Meadbymead/status/116855325846...

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Say what you like about Boris Johnson but some of
it would be actionable as libel because the law
protects the powerful.

-------------------------------------------------

: IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Getting Old

  Here's the best images from last week:

  * NOSFERATU by Bananaworld
http://b3ta.com/board/11293963

  * HOME ALONE by S4RK
http://b3ta.com/board/11293882

  * ROBOCO from Pizopop
http://b3ta.com/board/11293758

  * See all the other images from the 'Getting
  Old' challenge:
https://b3ta.com/challenge/gettingold/popular/

  >> This week: Music Toys <<
  Hasbro have bought Death Row Records so we can
  hopefully look forward to Dr Dre's Guess Who
  and Snoop's spliff shaped Jenga set any day
  now. Celebrate this meeting of cultural minds
  with your own range of music/album/song based
  toys.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/musictoys

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Home tapping is killing plumbers.

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S NEWSLETTER
  Make history with the newsletter of record

  * NEW VIZ STRIPS - 'Surrender Bill' could be a
  new character in an alarmingly right-wing
  reboot of Viz

  * THE PEANUTS STRIP ON YOUR BIRTHDAY IS YOUR
  LIFE HOROSCOPE - this sort of works as it's all
  introspective anxiety.

  * WOULD YOU PASS AN ETON ENTRANCE EXAM? - do a
  pop quiz version of this. Might be fun and
  shareable with cunts.
https://twitter.com/DavidKlion/status/116819288576...

  Send your missives to:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/

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The Northern Line was cancelled this week. We
dread to think what it tweeted.

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: FOLLOW UPS
  What happened next to the b3tan generation

  * AMUSED TO GET A SHOUT OUT FROM RAGE AGAINST
  THE MACHINE - although truth be told, when we
  looked into it, it's because an old B3tan is
  running their social media.
https://twitter.com/RATM/status/116969334088921088...

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What idiot called it "advanced driver-assistance
system" instead of autocorrect?

-------------------------------------------------

: YAY WE HAVE A NEW(ISH-ISH) NEWSLETTER SPONSOR
  Mediamasters Podcast

  Paul Blanchard has got in touch to sponsor the
  newsletter "My primary purpose is to see you
  prosper! Love your work" and also promote his
  podcast. There's lots of big media names on it
  like Sir Trevor McDonald and Alan Rusbridger,
  so get stuck in:
http://www.mediamasters.fm/

-------------------------------------------------

Congrats to the Evening Standard for running this
tongue twister as a headline:

"Blow for Bojo as bro Jo go goes"

If you can say it 5 times without buggering it
up, Boris Johnson will appear out from the mirror
and sack you.

-------------------------------------------------

: PATREON THANKS
  Thanking you, the best crew

  * BIGGEST BROTHERS: *EUGENIE VT*, *ALEX
  MORRIS*, *HEBTROCO*, *JAMES O'BRIEN*, *JAMES
  PETTS*, *JON GRANT*, *KATE*, *MARK MCCREADIE*,
  *MR PHIL DONNELLY*, *SHOWRAT*, *SIMON JAMES*,
  *STOOBERT*, *24-7 DEATH*, *ALAN CHARLTON*,
  *ALISTAIR*, *ANDREW FLEMMING*, *ANDREW WREN*,
  *BEVAN JOHNSON*, *BRIAN EELES*, *CHRIS
  BLAKENEY*, *CHRIS CARLINE*, *CHRIS LOCKE*,
  *CRISS MORENO*, *GEORGE STEPHENSON*, *GREG
  MCGOWAN*, *IAN SHEEN*, *JAIMIE VANDENBERGH*,
  *JAMES CRONIN*, *JON BINSTEAD*, *MARK ADAMSON*,
  *MICHAEL TRINDER*, *NAT KING COLESLAW*,
  *PATRICK CATES*, *RICHARD BARCLAY*, *SIMON
  NICHOLLS*, *SPAZZCAPTAIN*, *TOM DOLAN*, *WENDY
  GOODE

  * BIGGER BROTHERS: NICK MORGAN, LEE BURNETT,
  @MATTDAWHIT, ADAM ATACK, ADAM COONEY, ADAM
  INGLIS, ADAM LLOYD, ADRIAN WOODFIELD, AL
  DAVIDSON, ALBION GRAY, ANDREW SCHEUBER, ANDY
  ASHTON, ANDY STORRAR, ANDY TILLETT, ANDY
  WEBBER, ANDY YATES`, ANNA, ANNE-MARIE SCOTT,
  AUNTIESASH HAZLEWOOD, BEN BRICE, BEN WARD, BEN
  WATSON, BERTIL HANSSON, BERTRAM WOOSTER, BEX
  COOK, BLOSSOMSHED, BRAD GREGORY, BYRON GEOFFREY
  FARROW, C BOND, CARL MORGAN, CATHERINE
  MCALLISTER, CATROASTER, CHEF TWAT, CHRIS
  BRANCH, CHRIS EVANS, CHRIS GARRATT, CHRIS
  GOUGH, CHRIS PATERSON, CHRIS SAUNDERS, CHRIS
  SHAW, CHRIS WHITWORTH, CIARÁN R, COURTENAY
  FERRIS, CRAIG LIDDELL, CRAIG TONKS, CRAIG
  TURNER, DAMIEN SMITH, DAN STOTT, DANIEL BROWN,
  DANIEL CHOTE, DAVE NATTRISS, DAVE TICKLE, DAVID
  AULT, DAVID CATLEY, DAVID GARDINER, DAVID
  GREEN, DAVID KING, DAVID KNOLL, DAVID MILLS,
  DEREK LAW, DEREK ROBERTS, DOMINIC HAIGH, ED CAN
  DO, ED COOK, EDWARD ALMOND, EMMA LAY, ERIC VON
  BORSTEL, ESSY DAVE, FAITH H. MARTIN, FEARGHAS,
  FERGUS MCKAY, FIONA JAMES, FOURSTAR, FRASER
  LEWRY, FUNKSTER, GAYNOR CLARKSON, GEOFF TIDEY,
  GEOFFREY BALME, GEORGE PRESTON, GIA MILINOVICH,
  GNEISSROCKS, GRAHAM LICENCE, GREENFOX, GREG
  NEILSON, GUS NICOL, HANNAH CHUBB, HEIDI
  COLTHUP, HELEN GASKELL, IAIN, IAIN BRASSINGTON,
  IAIN FULLER, IAIN HENSHAW, IAIN MOFFATT, IAIN
  RUXTON, IAN BEVERIDGE, IAN BOLTZ, IVAN KELLY,
  JAMES CLAYTON, JAMES DONNELLY, JAMES GOLBEY,
  JAMES KERRY-BARNARD, JAMES MACINNES, JAMES
  O'MALLEY, JAMES PEARSON, JAMES SHAKESPEARE,
  JAMIE TAYLOR, JANE BAKER, JASON STEWART, JAY
  ROCHE, JAYMIE THOMAS, JERRY QUARTLEY, JIM
  DABELL, JIM FRAYLING, JIM HALFPENNY, JIM
  MACARTHUR, JIM WOODWARD, JOE BANNER, JOE
  MCNALLY, JOE SIMMONDS, JOEY MOORE, JOHN
  FARAGHER, JOHN FOSTER, JOHN HAMMERSLEY, JOHN
  HIGGS, JOHN MATTHEWS, JOHNNIE SHANNON, JOHNNY
  WATTERS, JONTY WAREING, JOSH MCMILLAN, JOSHUA
  THOMASSON, JUDE EVANS, JUSTIN BRETT, J&#463;M
  MCN&#463;VEN, KATE DEVLIN, KEV ADAMS, KONRAD
  PETRUSEWICZ, LISA WESTHAVEN, LOUISE ALLEN, LUKE
  MEPHAM, MARINA DE JOSLIN, MARK HIBBETT, MARK
  WILSON, MARTIN BEER, MARTIN DAVIES, MARTIN
  HOLLOWAY, MARTIN PEACHE, MATHEW CLAYTON,
  MATSIMPSK, MATT BUCHANAN, MATT DREWRY, MATTHEW
  COLLINGE, MATTHEW FORMAN, MATTHEW MORRIS,
  MATTHEW WILKES, MICK CURTIS, MIDNIGHTRAMBLER,
  MIKE MIDDLETON, MIL JAMIESON, MONTOCAT, NEIL DE
  CARTERET, NICK ROSS, OBIW4N SHINOBI, OLIVER
  BEWES, PAUL CHERRY, PAUL LEADER, PAUL SMITH,
  PAUL WESTERMAN, PETER ASHTRAY, PETER COOMBE,
  PETER GOSLING, PETER MCMINN, PETER WOUDA,
  PHILIP KINCHINGTON, POOKONG, REBECCA MCMANUS,
  RHYS WYNNE, RICH POPE, RICHARD BECKETT, RICHARD
  MATTHIAS, RICK LINDLEY, RIVEN A BUCKLEY, ROB
  AFFLECK, ROB MAHON, ROB VINCENT, ROBBIE LESIUK,
  ROBERT HILLS, ROBIN, ROSS CARTER,
  ROSSOVERTHERE, RUPERT HULL, RYAN DORAN, RYAN
  RHODES, SALEEM AHMAD, SAM ANDERSON, SAM
  RUSSELL, SARAH WILLIAMSON, SCOTT S. KRAMER,
  SEAN CASELY, SIMON COWAN, SIMON HOLMES, SIMON
  MCDOUGALL, SIMON SMITH, SIMON WATERFALL,
  STARLORD MIXTAPE, STEPHEN WALLER, STEVE
  ANGLESEY, STEVE LAKER, STEVE PROWSE, , STEVEN
  SMITH, STEVEY GARLAND, STEWART NOLAN, STUART
  ALLDRED, STUART ASHEN, TIM JOKL, TIM MOUNCER,
  TIM WEAVER, TOM CRICK, TOM HEBBRON, TOM
  REES-WILLIAMS, TOM RYAN, TOM WRIGHT,
  TOWNSENDSPUBLISHER, TYRONNE MANN, VICKI JAKES,
  WIL HADDEN, WILL GOULDEN, GAVIN TOMMEY, IAN
  APPLEBY, PETE, STUART RICHARDS, TOBIE FYSH,
  CARL MESNER LYONS, CHRIS JOHNSON, EMMA SYKES,
  JAN SPIELHOFF, JESS BAKER, JOHN FIELD, MIKE
  CONGREVE, SEAN FLANAGAN, TOM FREKE, ED ZITRON,
  ADAM BEARDWOOD, DAVID STARK, ALASTAIR DODD,
  ALEXANDRE STRUBE, ANDREW ROBINSON, ANDY
  CANDLER, CHRIS GOODE, CONNOR PARSLOW, CRAIG
  NAPLES, DAN TASSE, DANIEL MOELLER, DANNY
  KODICEK, DOMINIC LE GARSMEUR, DUNCAN
  STRICKLAND, HARRY, IRENE SEMANCHUK, JOSEPH
  MULVANEY, JULIE BEACOCK, MARK BENSON, MICHAEL
  KITT, NICKY HEWGILL, PAUL TOPPING, PETER ROYAL,
  RICHARD SPEED, ROSE JOHNSON, SENTIENT MEATBAG,
  TIM BEACHY

  * BIG BROTHERS: Deny Coughlan, Peter Cooper,
  Nick Kent, Russ Anderson, 5telios, Adam
  Kaczmarek, Adam Tickner, Al Napp, Alex Wren,
  Alex Wrottesley, Amy Oliver, Andrea Vail,
  Andrew Harris, Andy Nattan, Andy Shirling, Ben,
  Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben Groom, Ben
  Sugden, Ben Webb, Bobod, BSG, Cat Conner,
  Centuries of Sound, Chris Ward, Christina
  Freeman, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Dan
  Fairs, Darren John Harris, Dave The Hammer
  Parry, David Bond, David Ellinor, David
  Whittam, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
  Fenris Games, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Graham
  Freeman, Gwyn Fisher, Hadleigh Charles, Hugh
  Noble, Iain M Barker, Ian Silvester, Ilya, Ivan
  Shiel, Jace Otting, James, James Meers,
  Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John Griffiths,
  John M, Jon Bounds, Julie Brumlik, Lee Ball,
  Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
  madgwick, Mark Ryan, Martin Vindahl Olsen, Matt
  Carr, Matt Loren, Michael Bryan, Mike Booth,
  Mike Carter, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick, Nick
  Murdoch, Nigel Ford, Oli, P Underwood, Paul
  Bayfield, Paul Braithwaite, Paul Mancini, Paul
  Slade, Peter, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
  Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Rob
  Potter, Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan,
  Russell Webster, Sam Brown, Seirian Hanner,
  Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen McAuley,
  Stephen Williams, Stewart C. Russell, Stéphane,
  Swedemason, Tanya Kant, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim
  Knight, Tim Polglase, Tom Clark, Tony East,
  Victoria Wood, wigglywigglyworm, Wine School of
  Philadelphia.

  Also thanks to Matt Round, Snotters, Monkeon,
  HappyToast. And Graham Coxon out of Blur for
  the joke. Also props to horrid. Newsletter
  written by Robbie Manuel.

-------------------------------------------------

  Please sub us some cash, thank you:
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

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