NEWSLETTER: "OPENING THE B3TA NEWSLETTER WILL MAKE YOU STOP LOSING YOUR KEYS"
"OPENING THE B3TA NEWSLETTER WILL MAKE YOU STOP LOSING YOUR KEYS"
This Week:
* QUIZ - Can you spot the cheapo art?
* COMPUTER MUSEUM - celebrates 30 years of web
* PODCAST - Paul McCartney celebrated at last
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're shitting up
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the toilet
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| ... together"
B3ta email 780 - 23 Jul 2021
Read this issue in a husky voice to be sexy:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue780
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other making "cat milk" by wanking off cats
* CONNOISSEUR CAPTCHA - Monkeon writes, "I
have a new quiz! Can you tell which paintings
are worth money? Tried to focus on it being a
bit of a bargain hunt to avoid it being snarky
about the artwork (even though I was hoping
the cheap art would contain more bonkers stuff
tbh)." Honestly this is pretty tricky. We
don't know our art from our artshole.
https://monkeon.co.uk/connoisseurcaptcha/
* 12 REASONS TO CELEBRATE PAUL MCCARTNEY - we
don't link every Beatles podcast that our
cyber chum Chris Shaw makes but this is a
special one - he's got in Ian Leslie, the chap
who wrote the recent viral list '64 Reasons To
Celebrate Paul McCartney' and turned it into a
special breaking-the-format episode. We
listened while walking in the hot sunshine,
and for a moment we were sure that the whole
universe was Paul McCartney's and we just a
dream within it. It's that good.
https://iamtheeggpod.com/2021/07/20/12-reasons-to-...
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: HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
Introducing the £100 jeans
The USP of Hebtro is to make quality clothes
in Britain so the value is knowing that none
of the suppliers are getting ripped off and
you'll have something that'll last a long
time. But this comes at a price - which is why
we're delighted to share that they've managed
to get a pair of jeans out at the affordable
£100 price point. Hey, why not buy fifty
pairs, that one reader of B3ta that invested
in bitcoin in 2011 and now is worth billions?
For the rest of us - one pair is all you'll
need.
https://hebtro.co/
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The Computer Museum is doing an exhibition
celebrating 30 years of the web, and with a nod
to our retro Twitter bot projects
@geocitiesgifbot & @yorecomputer, they've asked
us to tell you that it's on from this Monday.
Get down to the Grand Arcade shopping centre in
Cambridge and have a nose. 30 fucking years of
this bullshit! Christ. And we're still not
closing our tables properly and using spacer dot
gif.
https://64bits.co.uk/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions fessed up for shit lols
Each week we ask you to piss in a bin and we
serve up the dregs as content soup. Here is
the best:
* WIFE - "When I bring my wife a cup of tea in
bed I always fill it right to the brim. She
asks me why it's so full, I say it was
accidental, but the real reason is that I
pretend I'm on Crystal Maze and if I spill 3
drops whilst carrying it upstairs I'll have to
face an automatic lock in."
* WANKER TAX - 'I work in a shop and every
time a price tag is missing and a customer
says "oh it must be free then" I add £1
irritation tax for shit patter.'
* TWATS - "I left school with 3 O levels. My
wife and children have 2 masters and three 2.1
degrees between them yet I am the only one who
can stack the dishwasher and know what can or
can't be recycled. Apparently I'm the only
person who can change a fucking big roll too.
Twats."
Join the 158,000 people who should know
better:
https://twitter.com/fesshole
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff by "other" "people" on the "internet"
* EXPLORE 3D GAME MAPS - ever wished you could
walk around Mario 64 like a ghost and move
through walls?
https://noclip.website
* SONG THAT HAS TO HEARD TO BE BELIEVED - is
this the worst song ever recorded? Is it weird
art that's looking for new notes between the
old notes? Comments include "I worked with a
singer like this once. I tried to get her to
sing more conventionally. This video makes me
realise that I was wrong. I should have just
followed the magic through to its logical
conclusion." and "She's just tuned to 432 hz
in her in-ears. We are all the ones who are
wrong."
https://b3ta.com/links/Red_Dress
* APPLE PRINTSHOP - Make cards for the old
nerds in your life with this recreation of
Apple's The Print Shop, which prints your work
to a PDF so you don't need to drag that Apple
Dot Matrix Printer down from the loft.
https://theprintshop.club
* WHICH TWITCH SNITCH - This watches a lot of
Twitch streamers and when it detects a spike
in the chat, it shows you that clip, thus
creating a constant best-of Twitch.
Unfortunately, everyone just plays boring
gunny shit, so no chance of seeing Jet Set
Willy perform a quirkafleeg or anything
actually fun. The idea is nice, though.
https://pogged.tv
* WOULD YOU BE KILLED BY ELECTRICITY IN THE
WATER - the science tested by a man who makes
us very frightened he's going to hurt himself.
https://b3ta.com/links/Hollywood_lies_exposed
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image
challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
support. Proofing by Kat E.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
We love you.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
