NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 82: "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT"
This Week:
* PRANK - Sabotaging letters pages
* ANIM - Crap leopard
* TWIGS - Building a boat
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
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B3ta email 82 - 28 Mar 2003
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue82/
Subscribe: [email protected]
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: NEWSPAPER DOGSHIT STUNT
Trolling the letters page for kicks
CCC writes -
"Me and my mates have been sending letters to
our local paper, the Kent & Sussex Courier,
about dog crap.
"We wanted to see how many different variations
of the term 'dog poo' would get printed."
He's caused utter chaos - hijacking the letters
page for a whole month.
We love this shit.
http://b3ta.com/board/952321
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: ROBOTS LOVE THEIR MUMMIES TOO
Baby Robots vs. Kraftwerk
Rob Manuel writes -
"Me and Weebl have just done a job for
lastminute.com
"We've written a song and made an animation
to remind people that it's Mother's Day
on Sunday.
"It's very cute and will make you cry.
And buy holidays."
http://www.mumbot.com/
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: B3TA PARTY - 7:30pm, 11th April 2003
We're holding a party in Central London. It's
your chance to meet the UK's premier web gods.
Us. It'll be great. Plus there will be drink.
Lovely drink.
http://b3ta.com/party/easter.gif
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: HE MADE A BOAT!
With twigs and branches.
Dr_Fonz writes -
"A friend of mine has a river running through
his garden. After staying up all night watching
Deliverance I decided I had to tackle the river
- so last weekend I went out there and built a
boat with nothing but sticks."
And it's fantastic. Although we can't say that
Deliverance made us want to go anywhere in
a boat.
Next week: hillbilly bumrape.
http://www.worldofkings.com/boat/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Grr Lion, Printer Death, More Weebl & Squirrels
>> Nature Documentary Animation <<
You may remember Dan Chambers for his slick and
funny pygmy shrew cartoon some while ago. He
writes, "I've posted a new animation on my site,
featuring a new animal." That animal is the
Mourning Leopard. Hark to its tragic tale.
http://danchambers.stodge.org/index.php
>> Printer Roulette <<
"I thought I'd set myself a challenge to make
a game using a printer as its basis," writes
Monkeon, "It's a cross between Russian
Roulette and Truth or Dare." Gosh. Monkeon
has excelled himself this time in making a
game that's conceptually brilliant, but still
somehow... wrong.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/printerroulette/
>> New Weebl: Crusty <<
Weebl is back. And so is Bob. Yay. This one
features Weebl singing. So be warned: He sings
like an incontinent tramp.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/crusty.html
>> Squirrel Band <<
We get to see a lot of animal bands. A lot. But
this one stands out as particularly pleasing.
Cute little squirrels playing the harmonica -
what could be better?
http://djol.8bit.co.uk/b3ta/ogst.html
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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO W00T
World's most powerful handheld games machine
We've spent the last two days playing with a
GamePark32 - a Korean handheld games console.
It can do a decent job of emulating a Gameboy,
ZX Spectrum, PC Engine, NES, Game Gear and
a Commodore 64.
It also plays MP3s and has a stab at playing
DivX movies, too.
It's like a retro gaming iPod.
Should you get one? Yes. For £100 it's about
the same price as a Gameboy and a lot more
fun. Sheesh. You don't have to pay for the
games - you can just nick them from internet.
http://www.gbax.com/gp32review.html
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Best Gay Sites in the World ... Ever! <<
Through the years running b3ta we've featured
several sites that are frankly gay. We're
very pleased that a nice man called Gaz6969
has picked up on the material to make a top
ten. He's saved us the job of doing it
ourselves. Huzzah.
http://www.100free.com/t/top10gayestwebsites/
>> Disgusting 1970s Food <<
"I found these Weight Watchers recipe cards
while helping my parents clean out their
basement," writes Wendy M, "Plenty of the
dishes seemed normal enough, but as I flipped
through them, some of the recipes began to
alarm me." Blimey. We'd rather eat poo than
go on this diet.
http://www.poundy.com/wwcards.html
>> Nostalgia for TV Nerds <<
Young people today will hardly believe how
shit TV graphics were years ago. But young
people today have apples for brains. Old TV
stuff is beautiful, as this collection of
vintage channel idents plainly shows.
http://625.uk.com/tv_logos/flash.htm
>> Crap Cat Photoshopping <<
Imagine force-feeding your favourite celebs
catfood. Perhaps they'd develop lovely shiny
pelts like these. Gwen Stefani is badly in need
of a wax - but she has a nice wet shiny nose.
http://users.transfur.com/werekatt/photo/feline/fe...
>> Retro Games in Your Browser <<
Like 80s video games? Take the rest of the
afternoon off and geek out to these babies.
Here comes the science bit: They've managed
to port the MAME emulator to Java which means
you can play BombJack and 1942 in your
browser without any nasty instally stuff.
And that's bad. Meaning good.
http://cottage.emuunlim.com/screens_org.htm
>> Mario Shotgun Massacre <<
Nintendo protect their image very carefully
and have never made a game where Mario holds
a gun. They'll utterly hate this. Good. Bunch
of hippy cunts.
http://www.burstfilms.com/games/smr.swf
>> Safeway Clubcard Skullduggery <<
Your supermarket clubcard helps them build up
a profile of you and what you buy. Why not fuck
up their system by pretending to be someone
else... someone called Rob? This US prank
is meant to build up his clubcard profile to
make him the ultimate shopper. If someone
fancies trying this idea in the UK then
we'd like to hear from them.
http://www.cockeyed.com/pranks/safeway/ultimate_sh...
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: 15 SECONDS OF STUPID
Short things from b3ta people
>> Hedgehog Holiday <<
"Nothing much happens," writes Joel Veitch,
"it's just happy little baby hedgehogs on their
way to have a holiday on their inflatable plane,
listening to happy music." Lovely.
http://www.rathergood.com/hedgehogs/
>> Who Does Steve Love? <<
Steve is young, fresh and gingerish. What does
it take to catch this young hunk's eye? (Cheers
Jonneh.)
http://www.dementedpanda.com/files/flash/stevepics...
>> Your Stuff Here <<
We're interested in seeing what you can do
with 15 seconds of stupid. Short is good.
Stupid is best. Send your links to
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Seaside Amusement Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted "Seaside Amusements"
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/amusements/
We asked B3ta boarder SirSandGoblin to judge
the entries - here are his 3 faves.
SirSandGoblin writes -
#1 "Win a Gourd. There could really be no
other winner. Let's face it, I love
gourds. (Hanrahan)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/950444
#2 "Cup of tea simulator. I like cups of
tea and I like simulators. This ride
has it all. (MrFancyteeth)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/965135
#3 "I would love this seaside attraction
to exist. I would sell my parents for
it. (Andy206)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/961039
## "I'd just like to add that Cheeky Boy gets
the wooden spoon, for claiming that twins
are creepy. Being a twin, I was none too
happy with that comment and immediately went
into the garden to fly a kite at night.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/960305
>> This Week's Challenge <<
This week, we've set the "Dictatorship Challenge"
with the suggestion, "If Hitler Won The War ..."
http://b3ta.com/challenge/if-hitler-had-won-the-wa...
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* SOCKS REUNITED - a few weeks ago we mentioned
a site which tried to match up orphaned socks.
Steve writes, "After a long wait we have
finally reunited a pair of socks!" Wow. Well
done Steve. We hope the good work continues.
http://www.lonelysocks.co.uk
* BUFFY'S SWEARING KEYBOARD BIG DOWN UNDER -
it was featured on New Zealand TV show Space,
to rave reviews. 'Sweet as', apparently.
"More dramatically," writes Ciaran, "my pal
Myles lost his yearly bonus at Christchurch
City Council thanks to the W key, his new
speakers and atrocious timing."
http://b3ta.com/buffyswear/
* B3TA PICS REACH THE STREET - Board member
bobodor has been contacted by environmental
protestors who wanted to use one of his
photoshop challenge pics - consequently it's
going to be featured in a San Francisco
exhibition called The Art of Protest.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/963163
* WEEBL DATE UPDATE - Mike Pickens asks,
"Can you tell me why Weebl's date was
never covered?" Yes we can. It's because the
girl pulled out due to family illness and
Weebl met a new girl down the pub. She's
very nice and Weebl is very happy.
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* RATEMYHITLER.COM - why doesn't this site
exist? Why? Maybe you can help. Look! We've
got the logo:
http://www.b3ta.com/board/965624
* DIY TATTOOS - why not make a tattoo
gun with a biro and a 9 volt battery,
film it and show us the results? Points
for artistic merit and location.
* THROWING BATTERIES INTO FIRES - we've
always been warned not to do it. Fuck
knows why, it sounds great.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Links sent in by Andy T, Oddboy of Manchester
and Tetra Grammaton.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Denise Wilton.
Proofing by the ZX b4ta 81s. (61601)
