NEWSLETTER: "THIS NEWSLETTER IS ALSO TRICKLE DOWN, IN THAT IT IS MOSTLY PISS"
This Week:
* BOT - P*rnhub comments on cartoons
* SHEEP - The legendary animation is back
* QUEUE GAME - making boring into an artform
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're selling the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | because we're absolute
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| Tory spivs... together"
B3ta email 833 - 23 Sep 2022
Read this issue enjoying 1% more URLs:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue833
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making their mothers feel shame
* P*RNHUB COMMENTS ON CARTOONS -
@quasirealSmiths writes, "Just thought maybe
you'd like some random bots I whipped up because
I got bored. Takes daily Heathcliff strips and
grabs a random p*rnhub comment and mixes them."
Good stuff, although we had to look up who
Heathcliff is, basically a less successful
Garfield, by our reckoning.
https://twitter.com/PH_Heathcliff60
* NEVER MIND THE BOLLARDS - Sheep writes, "Hello
B3ta - if you're still after stuff for the
newsletter, I made something about bollards"
Thank you Sheep, we are ALWAYS after stuff for
the newsletter, this thing doesn't fill itself
you know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
Go on buy some jeans
Listen up B3tans, seeing as we sit at the
coveted intersection between middle-age, comedy
and programming, we're probably dressed very
badly indeed. Help is at hand with Hebtro, with
their durable threads, all made in the UK to the
highest standards. You lucky people.
https://hebtro.co/product-category/jackets/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions fessed up like cat vomit
Each week you shout your fibs into the void and
we pick out a few to share on Club Penguin:
* WANK MATERIAL - "Standing naked in the
bathroom, about to get in the shower, I had a
fart brewing in front of my wife. To put on a
show I squatted to let it out in all its glory
and shat on the bath mat. 5 years later I'm
getting divorced, can't help but feel this
incident may have caused it."
* OLD CODGER TODGER - "My old Dad - divorced
from my mum - lives in an old people's home. His
'son in law' visits his room every 2 weeks or so
to say hi. In reality he's a bloke we found on
Grindr who's into older guys and gives Dad a
good time. No regrets. Care home doesn't know."
* CATS - "My neighbour is a massive cunt. I've
had a number of run-ins with him, but his cat is
lovely and spends most of his time at my house.
The amount of satisfaction I get from thinking
even his own cat thinks he's a cunt is huge."
Follow the account on MySpace:
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
Pre-buy the book from Dillons in Wolverhampton:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...
Buy tickets for the Christmas show in, god,
continuing this shitty joke, err, put on by the
sixth-formers at Smestow Comprehensive.
https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/come...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Links your dad will be sending round in 2032
* QUEUE GAME - We've seen two games based on the
Queue this week, this being the slickest. No
idea if it is possible to actually win, but
we're sure we'll find out what happens at the
end when Pip Schofield uploads a speed run.
https://queensqueue.com
* LIFE IN MEXICO - A soundboard exploration of
Mexico City, which we enjoyed both because we
like a good soundscape, and also because this
makes the place seem like Richard Scarry's
Busytown.
https://pudding.cool/2022/09/cdmx/
* BAND NAMES - Coming up with band names is more
fun than having to actually form a band, and
this one lets you submit your best ideas and
compete with the likes of Pub Scouts and Haribo
For Breakfast in the battle of the band names.
https://bandnames.cool
* INTRODUCING THE 'NORTHERN BOYS' - Of course
you want to watch a load of old dudes rapping.
More entertaining than it sounds because they
really go for it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* MEOW - And of course you want a roleplaying
game where you play a left-wing cat.
https://twitter.com/deathbybadger/status/157255891...
* LEGO DRUM MACHINE - the best video you'll see
this week is this genius teaching Lego how to
play a drum machine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* MIMECAST - taking a gag too far this guy has
produced four mime podcasts which largely
consists of rustling.
https://soundcloud.com/mime-cast
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You’re welcome - Kat)
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
- extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
'Ryja' would like to apologise
Which type of bread has a sense of humour?
Rye
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/...
