NEWSLETTER: "B3TA SOLD TO ALAN SUGAR FOR 40 QUID"
This Week:
* BRUSH STROKES - The Art Of The Sitcom
* MATT HANCOCK - in horrible shit eating game
* FESSHOLE BOOK - finally OUT!
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're shoving the
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the web up our own
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| arse ... together"
B3ta email 836 - 5th Nov 2022
Read this issue with your Currah Microspeech:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue836
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making shits in the bed
* BRUSH STROKES - THE ART OF THE SITCOM - Dr
Dunno is running his own single person Photoshop
challenge where he reimagines sitcoms as fine
art. There's loads in the thread, and he's also
compiled them up for a book. The clever swine.
https://twitter.com/christhebarker/status/15839677...
* HAPPYTOAST TAROT CARDS - Britain's favourite
image maker has opened a Kickstarter to fund
some Tarot Cards he's designed, that are
specifically about giving you words to kickstart
your creativity. Nice.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dalliancenet/...
* YORK MINSTER IN MINECRAFT - bowi555 confesses,
"I spent too long on Minecraft" as he reveals
his version of everyone's favourite Cathedral.
"No reason anyone should like it but it took
ages" he continues. Well it's very nice.
https://b3ta.com/links/I_spent_too_long_on_Minecra...
* HUNGRY HUNGRY HANCOCK - yeastymeat writes, "We
made this, it's got lots of turds and severed
remains in it/". Yuck.
https://games.ramjam.co.uk/hancock/
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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
Christmas means durable stocking fillers
It's coming up to Christmas, so it's time to buy
the men in your life some durable jeans and
shirts so they look swish for the new year. Buy
lots of them too so that Hebtro don't think it's
a bad idea to keep sponsoring this terrible
newsletter.
https://hebtro.co/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions fessed up for likes
Each week you shit in a bucket and we pick out a
few meaty chunks and ask "does this smell right
to you?"
* GYM - "I've bought a gym membership so I can
park there for less than the cost of parking in
the town centre, it's also only 2 minute walk to
work and 5 from my local pub. I've never been to
the gym once and I've saved loads."
* WHIMSY - "I cut my sandwiches on a 60/40 bias
and eat the small half first. Instead of being
disappointed I'm half way through, I'm excited
there's more to come."
* BOOZE - "After a heavy drinking session, I
shat the bed. Told the wife it was the dog to
avoid embarrassment. The size and stench was so
bad that she took him to the vet, and found out
he was showing early signs of stomach cancer. I
inadvertently saved my dog but can never take
credit." BTW: This one somehow ended up with
your editor reading it out on BBC radio:
https://twitter.com/BBCRadioLondon/status/15881862...
Follow the fucking account ok? It's now on 649k
followers and given Elon Musk's kamikaze
management of Twitter, maybe that's the top?
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
BUY THE BOOK. IT'S OUT, OUT, OUT!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Content to shove up your pleasure pipes
* YOU CAN'T DO REGEX UNDER PRESSURE - we find
RegEx a nightmare to write, but this nicely
designed game lets you test your ability on
horror movie quotes. Shame it doesn't give you
the answer when you inevitably struggle on the
first level, as it would seem a good way to
learn as you play.
https://thetypingoftheregex.com
* AI COMEDY FLYERS - AI generated art is
generally awful, but this thread of AI-Generated
posters for comedians is amusing for being quite
so deep in the uncanny valley. Jerry Sadowitz is
Noseybonk-level terrifying.
https://twitter.com/MrDavidReed/status/15804673354...
* REALISTIC CACTUS SIMULATOR 2000 - A pointless
simulator is always fun, and here you can have
all the fun of being a cactus, wedged firmly to
your spot in a desert.
https://kargaroc.itch.io/cactusim
* SLOW ROADS DRIVING - a neat driving simulator
built entirely in Javascript. All it needs is a
radio and we'd never leave the house.
https://slowroads.io/
* COMMODORE 64 ACCORDIAN - a hardware project
that should have never happened but it has.
https://b3ta.com/links/Ronseal:25
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
BBC at 200
Here's the best images from last week:
* SOME MOTHERFUCKERS DO 'AVE 'EM - from
DriverChris
http://b3ta.com/board/11379972
* FIVE STAR - from Monkeon
http://b3ta.com/board/11380233
* SLADE RUNNER - from Ninj
https://b3ta.com/board/11380233
* See all the other images from the 'BBC200'
challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/bbc200/popular
>> This week: Break the internet <<
As Elon Musk threatens massive changes to
Twitter that have him being attacked from all
sides, what badly thought through ideas do you
have for other websites? Audiences for YouTube?
A check out lady scanning your items on Amazon?
Break the functionality of the internet!
http://b3ta.com/challenge/breakinternet/popular
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Some ideas to kick you off
* THE CLASS WAR OF GOLF - AI players are
playing golf and the human player can go around
fucking it up by filling the holes with cement.
For extra points petition the council to turn it
all into a lovely public park.
* FIND YOUR PORNALIKE - probably would need some
AI to do this well but would be viral gold.
* AN ELON MUSK BE GONE - maybe this is a Chrome
plugin that makes him not exist in our reality?
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You’re welcome - Kat)
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
- extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
The Porcupine From Purgatory apologises profusely
What's Liz Truss opening this week?
Borked markets!
(We should have published this weeks ago, sorry)
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/...
