NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 85: "HOW TO BOIL AN EGG"
This Week:
* SHORTS - 15 Seconds of Stupid
* GAME - Pigeon Street Massacre
* ANIM - New Weebl
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________ ____ __ ___
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| mongs ... to-tttogeffer"
B3ta email 85 - 25 Apr 2003
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: 15 SECONDS OF STUPID
Why small is beautiful
>> Tiramisu Song <<
"Is b3ta interested in new talent?", writes
LexWest, "If so, here's my tiramisu song. People
mainly seem to have had positive responses."
We think this is ace. Odd. But ace.
http://suz.and-then.org/flash/tiramisu.swf
>> Levi Ad Parody <<
"I made a Levi advert", spurts Pete Donaldson,
"Americans won't understand it. Philistines"
Made us snort. Like pigs.
http://www.oneeyedwilly.co.uk/levis.htm
>> Mind Control Experiment <<
"I've been trying to hypnotise the teenage
goths who walk past my house", writes
Rob Manuel, "to do very evil stuff."
http://www.b3ta.com/mind-control/
BTW: We're always interested in short silly
animations of the sort that leave you wanting
more. Think of something, do it and then tell
us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Pigeoncide, Scary Weebl, Squirrel Frocks & Fire
>> Pigeon Street Massacre <<
Pigeon Street was a series of animated adventures
first shown on BBC1 / BBC2 in 1981. It made
our childhood a living hell. So we applaud
Thomas Scott for giving us the chance to
even the score by killing the flying rats.
http://www.thomasscott.net/flash/pigeonstreet/
>> Hats For Clowns - The Album <<
Weebl has been drinking the Brasso again. The
new episode makes little sense but does feature
a very scary clown. The clown rocks and should
have its own show.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/clowns.htm
>> Dress Up Your Squirrel <<
Fast reactions and a sharp sense of style are
needed for Breel's latest game - a follow-up
to 'Keep Your Kitten Warm'. FYI: Breel has the
scariest eyes in the web biz.
http://www.breel.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/squirrel/
>> Blindfold Fire Jump <<
"My stunt features fire, a blindfold and went
wrong the first time I tried it", writes
Luke Burrages, "I give you the Fire Jump
of Death." It's very dangerous. If you look
carefully you'll see he slightly burns his
finger. Diddums.
http://makeashorterlink.com/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Electric Six Vs. Bush and Blair <<
This promo video for Electric Six features the
collision of several recent web fads. Seeing
George W mouth "Let's start a nuclear war" gave
us a few laughs.
http://www.gaybetamax.co.uk
>> Pool with Pucks <<
At last. A two player web game that works.
It's brilliant in fact. Challenge anyone from
round the world to what is basically a game of
pool. It's like having Zsa Zsa Gabor sit on
your face. But good. Sadly it's closing on
Monday so get in quick.
http://www.couronne.nu/
>> Kids TV Trip-o-rama <<
Boohbah is a new TV programme for children made
by the creators of the Teletubbies. As you might
expect the aesthetic owes something to the late
80s rave scene. We spent a happy half hour
exploring the site making cooing noises. Then
we got bored and played with our tails.
http://www.boohbah.com/zone.html
>> Something to Read <<
At long last, the secrets of seduction revealed.
According to writer Michael Kelly, that is.
Funny stuff - we reckon he's a column waiting to
happen.
http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/seduction.htm
>> 3D Shooty Game <<
Remember Tempest in the arcades? Re-live its
crap wire frame graphics. Fun for 5 minutes.
http://www.uni-mainz.de/~rathb000/WebWar/Game.html
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Video Game Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted computer and video games
that had never been made:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/computergame/
We asked B3ta boarder 'Thirdman' to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
Thirdman writes -
#1 "Command & Conkers - It's not big but it's
very clever. (faster)
http://b3ta.com/board/1071709
#2 "Advanced Monkey Simulator - ah the memories
of all those Speccy games with cool packaging
that you couldn't wait to get home. And then
you loaded them... (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/1079657
#3 "l33t - two pics share third place - they
smack of the desperation of business men
trying to be down with the kids" (Nearstars
and 100% Gibbon)
http://b3ta.com/board/1066489
http://b3ta.com/board/1068640
"I'd also like to mention Rainbow Kiss by Spawn,
because it is dirty and made I laugh, and Unreal
Ornament by munkt0n because I owe him a pint."
http://b3ta.com/board/1065347
http://b3ta.com/board/1071717
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, B3ta contributor "Reverend Dan" gave
us the suggestion, "Nuns!"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/nuns/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* NIK ROOPE, who made a retro-style receiver
for his mobile phone, has been featured on
the front cover of an amusingly-titled
Italian fashion mag.
http://www.pigmagazine.it/home.html
* BISCUIT BRIBERY - Nicey writes, "McVities have
just sent me 396 Penguins (48x8 packs) and 24
pots each of white chocolate and milk chocolate
Penguin singles, little munchy bits of Penguin."
http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/
* OLD GREY SQUIRREL TEST - producers of a DVD
compilation of the best bits of 70s music
show Old Grey Whistle Test have got in touch
to ask to use this squirrel animation for
the extras section.
http://djol.8bit.co.uk/b3ta/ogst.html
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* HUMAN CANONBALLS - be creative. Make your
own cannon from a sewer pipe and some petrol.
* ANIMAL BODY PIERCING - give your cat a Prince
Albert. Or maybe an ampallang. That's a nob
bolt to you and me.
* DIY PLASTIC SURGERY - maybe you could make
breasts from an old tennis ball or give your
self a facelift with bulldog clips.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson and cheap jokes from Lucy Reese.
Links sent in by Simon Oliver & Carrot Rope.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the magic b4ta munchkins. (64315)
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Cooking tip: To make the perfect boiled egg
make sure the water is at boiling point before
putting the egg in the pan. Boil for exactly
6 minutes. This will give you a firm white and
a runny yolk. Perfect with marmite on toast.
