NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 94:"LOCAL NEWSPAPER PRINTS GOATSE"
This Week:
* STUNT - Goatse in the papers
* VIDEO - Sesame Street Pinball Song
* REVIEWS - All music is shit
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
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B3ta email 94 - 27 Jun 2003
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue94/
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: GOATSE IN THE NEWSPAPERS
And they thought it was children's art
OK - this is going to take a bit of background
to explain... Goatse is possibly the foulest
image ever put on the internet: a man pulling
open his anus so wide that you could stick a
child's head in it.
The image became famous after trolls - people
who like to wind up messageboards - started
linking to it on every board under the sun.
And that's where we come in. BoyT has painted
a version of the image, and submitted to his
local paper and got it printed. Yay.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1471040
BTW: If you need more context then search for
goatse on google. It's really too icky for
us to link to from the newsletter.
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Sesame Street, Mutants, Crap Reviews & Shit tv
>> Pinball Song/Video <<
Thorpe has made a lovely track sampling
The Pinball Song from Sesame Street. A friend
of his has made a video featuring the footage
that accompanied it on the show. It's great,
a funky nostalgia fest.
http://freespace.virgin.net/gordon.robertson/pinba...
>> Mutant animals<<
The creatures that live in HumanDescent's head
may frighten you. He's one of b3ta's most
prolific Photoshop artists, producing bizarre
little masterpieces every single day. It's past
time his online gallery/zoo got a mention
from us here.
http://www.humandescent.com/index2.shtml
>> All music is shit <<
Chthonic is an angry, angry man. He's listened to
all the same music you have and he hates it. Go
on, try him out by typing in the name of a band or
record you like. His indiscriminate bile-filled ranting
will amuse you.
http://www.chthonicionic.net/bile/
>> Star Wars Vs. Village People <<
Ever wondered what the storm troopers get up to on
their Saturday nights? B3ta newcomer Johnny B Goode
has made this Flash vid to show you. Apparently they
dance to dodgy old disco. Like everyone else.
http://snurl.com/1o9z
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Salt maze for slugs <<
Wooooo. Perhaps the ultimate extreme sport for slugs.
Can the slug make it out alive? We would try this at
home, but frankly it's mean. Also, slugs are icky and we'd
have to get our mum to come round and help us.
http://www.livejournal.com/~theteague/8200.html
>> Notes on the fridge <<
Ah, the joys of shared houses. A whole bunch of
strangers knowing your wanking habits. This
concerned letter will bring back those memories.
Or perhaps give you bad ideas.
http://home.pi.be/~freddes/pictures/fridge.jpg
>> 13 PC flight sim <<
Jesus wept. This bloke likes his flight sims. He's
connected 13 monitors and 9 PCs together to get
the ultimate cockpit view. He must be single. But
imagine watching porn on it. Mmm. Cockpit.
http://members.chello.nl/~s.ferris/
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: GENITAL CORNER
Because we love cock
>> Truck Testes <<
Show that you're a real man by having metal
balls attached to your car.
http://www.bumpernuts.com/
>> Photograph your cock <<
Lizzie is doing a comedy show in Edinburgh,
and she needs photos of your knob. In a dress.
If you've got one, and who hasn't, help her out.
Send it to her. No jeans or trainers though.
http://www.grayblog.co.uk/cockinafrock.html
>> Scrotum Electric Shock <<
Bollocks plus massive electrical shock plus
fucking stupidity plus video camera equals ouch.
Not much more to be said about this one, really. So
a minute of silence for all the dead sperm please.
http://pics.turboflux.net/numbnuts.mpeg
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Baddies Turned Good Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted baddies that had turned good:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/baddies/
We asked B3ta boarder 'sigsy' to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
Sigsy writes -
#1 "Something's wrong with the gun's transmission -
A great idea, well executed and very funny.
(Kerouac)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1452497
#2 "Use the... - Made me laugh with a great punchline,
nice camera pan animation as well. (Mystery Bob)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1427857
#3 "UN Stormtroopers - Very clever, excellent definition
and the lighting/reflection is skillfully done."
(Gabba)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1426339
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, the challenge dictator was back to give us
the suggestion, "International Smoking Day"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/smoking/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* MUCKING ABOUT WITH LOCAL NEWSPAPERS - we love
this stuff. Can you compete with CCC and BoyT?
* INTERNATIONALSWEARINGDAY.COM - we're not
hearing enough foul language at the mo.
Sort it out.
* INTERVIEWS - are you famous? Get in touch.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Links sent in by freddes, Leighbert
Luke/barnes design & Nancy Higgins.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Top Tippery by Little Miss Stainfree.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the sleepy b4ta kittens. (68000)
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TIP:
If you dye your hair and the colour stains your
hairline, simply mix up some fag ash along with
some cheap cologne. Rub this mixture on your
skin using a cotton bud and it will remove
99.9% guaranteed. (It's the carbon in the ash
and the alcohol in the cologne.)
