In the days when men were men and pubs were pubs,my mate and I went on our local pub's darts n doms teams' annual trip to Blackpool. The day kicked off in the pub at 8am and after a few pints for breakfast, we clambered onto the coach lugging half a dozen crates of pale ale to tide us over until lunch.

After a roast chicken dinner at a large pub outside Blackpool,we staggered onto a large lawn outside and rolled heavy wooden balls across it for a few hours.Bowls,first to 21,but few could be arsed keeping score so the first to lose interest lost the game.An eventual champion was declared and we boarded the coach to hit the pubs and clubs of Blackpool.

Following much boozing and debauchery we found the coach and set off home in the early hours,singing,drinking and generally pissing about,literally in some cases.

Slight problem.It's four in the morning and as I stand swaying at my front door with my besht mate I realise I've lost my key. Bob,I can't use his real name for reasons which will become obvious if I ever get to the point,offered to let me bed down at his place for what was left of the night.

We made it to his house and were met by his wife,who had clearly had a drink or two also.Midway through our little nightcap it was suggested that I join them in their bed to sleep.Having already become aware of the dog hairs on the settee and his wife's ample,soft,curvaceous bosom I didn't feel able to decline the offer.As my best mate snored contentedly,I kissed his wife,caressed her tits and explored her wet pussy.

When I climbed silently between her legs I didn't foresee that in nine months time I would be sitting downstairs sipping tea. Sipping tea and making polite conversation as the newborn twin girls gurgled happily in their carry cots in the corner. Ignoring the fact that they looked remarkably like me.

No, that last bit was a lie.There was no pregnancy.In fact there was no intercourse.I was too pissed to get it up.

Still feel guilty though.
(mallyjoe, Sat 9 May 2015, 13:27, Reply)