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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

* No isms - keep this light
* Non jokes will be deleted and users temp banned
* No nicked jokes - write one!

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob (2 Likes), Tue 8 May 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Clit
Clit who?
Clit Richard. Well I always thought he was a bit of a cunt.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:03, Reply)
I was looking for help with my finances but I found myself looking at a website that was trying to restore a French impressionist painter's art
Turns out it was monetsavingexpert.com
(I helped save b3ta! The_cold_stare has dangerous levels of blood in his blood, Thu 14 Jun 2018, 22:05, Reply)
The guy from A Very English Scandal and 90s rapper Skee-Lo stood back to back
Whishaw was a little bit taller
(electricgoose, Thu 14 Jun 2018, 14:10, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
A polar bear walks into a bar. "I'll have a large ............. ...... ... whisky."
Barman: "Why the big paws?"
(I helped save b3ta! blyerkit e k trilby, Mon 11 Jun 2018, 12:32, Reply)
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
(I helped save b3ta! blyerkit e k trilby, Mon 11 Jun 2018, 12:28, Reply)
Q. What's a good brand name for a scheme in which one pays for vehicles with anuses?
A.Bum Per Cars™.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Wed 6 Jun 2018, 18:39, Reply)
*ahem*
If a travel agent is surrounded by a ring of small islands, are they atoll-protected?
(I helped save b3ta! mugwump In summary then, oh no. Chris., Mon 4 Jun 2018, 0:49, Reply)
What's Ferris Bueller's favourite style of curry?
Chicken Tikkaaaaaah
(I helped save b3ta! dooranran, Sun 3 Jun 2018, 10:25, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)
Someone murdered a competitor in the Tour de France
Cycle killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?




Je suis désolé.
(I helped save b3ta! Ivana Puliakokov, Sun 3 Jun 2018, 1:28, 2 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
What do you call a small mother?
A minimum
(Frank Einstein, Sat 2 Jun 2018, 9:21, 3 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
Embarrassed myself in a Mexican restaurant last night...
I ordered a burro instead of a churro.

What an ass!
(kerryymm, Wed 30 May 2018, 13:55, Reply)
How do you escape a bear?
\🐻
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Wed 23 May 2018, 19:07, Reply)
Mum Jokes will get you far.
But Dad Jokes will get you father.
(pingudownunder, Tue 22 May 2018, 22:19, Reply)
Dad Jokes
That’s how eye roll.
(pingudownunder, Tue 22 May 2018, 22:18, Reply)
Joke
With midges, what do you call the queen?

Your Midgesty.
(bravenewmalden, Tue 22 May 2018, 17:02, Reply)
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a Thunderbirds puppet?
One has Brains.
(m4g1cF1ng3rZ Curious Aphorism, Mon 21 May 2018, 5:27, Reply)
Doggie joke
Dog A: My owner has no nose.
Dog B: How does he smell?
Dog A: Welk, his crotch smells great.
(Vicar_Kicker VicKic, Sun 20 May 2018, 20:05, Reply)
Do you know how you can tell when trash is on the curb?
It usually honks.
(Smoked Oysters Yes, magick helmet! And I will give you a sample!, Sun 20 May 2018, 4:39, Reply)
What's twisty, tightly wound and covers a cunt?
Fox News.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 19 May 2018, 15:55, Reply)
what do you call a big reptile that gets someone else to bite you?
a deligator
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 19 May 2018, 7:26, Reply)
Do you know what makes me cross?
Lollipop ladies.
(Chuckman, Fri 18 May 2018, 22:49, Reply)
There's a rumour going round....
that the antiquated Lords' plumbing system will collapse with all the extra Tory pee-ers.
(Ryja, Fri 18 May 2018, 21:31, Reply)
Did you know that owls occasionally use chocolate to attract a mate?
Twix to woo.
(pissroll, Thu 17 May 2018, 22:50, Reply)
What do you call someone who delivers Indian cuisine?
A courier.
(immadme, Wed 16 May 2018, 18:39, Reply)
What do you call a royal wedding sandwich?
Anything that's in bread.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr.Dunno, Wed 16 May 2018, 7:56, 2 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
What sings opera and overdoes it on the oregano?
A Prezzo-soprano
(dandelionburdock, Wed 16 May 2018, 1:47, Reply)
what sound does batman's alarm clock make?
breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast BATMAN!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 15 May 2018, 23:15, Reply)
What the most northerly caprine in Britain?
John O'Goats
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may is getting too old for this ship, Tue 15 May 2018, 0:40, Reply)
Where do mad people go to shop?
In Sainsburys
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may is getting too old for this ship, Tue 15 May 2018, 0:32, Reply)
What's wiry, wispy and covers a cunt?
Donald Trump's hair
(I helped save b3ta! The_cold_stare has dangerous levels of blood in his blood, Mon 14 May 2018, 23:09, Reply)

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