Which reggae band are involved in the ethically dubious practice of hunting aquatic mammals at sea?
Bob Marley and the Whalers!
(alright, wankers LEAVE KANYE OUT OF THIS, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:42, 4 replies, latest was 1 day ago)

Got this one into the popbitch newletter this week, which unlike this place actually has standards, dammit. What's Bill Gates going to do for a place to stay now that he's split from the missus?
DOS
( cumquat may To be or not to be? That is a question, Thu 13 May 2021, 23:40, 4 replies, latest was 19 hours ago)

Which Japanese multimedia artist, singer, songwriter and peace activist provides the voice for 'Churchill' the dog in the insurance adverts?
Yoko O-yes!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory, Thu 13 May 2021, 6:51, 1 reply, 2 days ago)

My nymphomaniac sister has gone extra crazy on her trip to Venezuela
In fact, she's fucking Caracas
(YodricPodric, Thu 6 May 2021, 10:59, Reply)

Who is Japan's best footballer?
Onmied San!
(Graham coxon out of blur, Thu 6 May 2021, 10:39, 7 replies, latest was 3 days ago)

Did you know that it was forbidden in Islam to pursue a romantic relationship with a western lowland gorilla in Cincinnati Zoo, before a three year-old boy climbed into its enclosure and it was shot by a zoo worker?
The gorilla was haram bae.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:55, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)

What happens when you no-clip through the floor in Fallout?
You "fall-out".

i came up with this in 10 seconds you don't have to laugh
(slimjm09 is alright, Sun 2 May 2021, 15:37, Reply)

What did Noel Gallagher say after kindly fitting a hearing aid to a deaf insect?
"Bee hear now"
( rob, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 12:53, 3 replies, latest was 4 days ago)

How does the protagonist in The Shining download movies?
Jack torrents
( rob, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 12:53, Reply)

What happens if you eat too many plums?

I am LEAD to believe that you will develop PLUM BUM!!!!!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:10, 1 reply, 3 days ago)

What’s brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr Dre
(eightb4ll, Wed 28 Apr 2021, 22:17, 4 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

What sort of lettuce does John McEnroe have trouble with
Iceborg
( cumquat may To be or not to be? That is a question, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 13:45, 4 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

kid's birthday joke I just heard:
what lives in the ocean and is good in maths?

an octoplus!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 20 Apr 2021, 13:56, 6 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)

how do you know the theory that most scientists prefer parsley over oregano is likely to be true?
It's the most parsleymonius explanation
( cumquat may To be or not to be? That is a question, Tue 6 Apr 2021, 9:56, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)

Q: What's the worst pantomime?
A: Poop in boots.
( Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 29 Mar 2021, 21:27, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)

Which Thundercats villain got stuck in the Suez Canal?

Mumm-Ra the Ever-Given!!!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory, Mon 29 Mar 2021, 11:54, Reply)

The canine
previously acquired through financial transaction by the parent of male lineage of the deceased comedic talent mostly associated with Knotty Ash arrives at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says 'Is this some kind of joke?'
(Covid69, Fri 19 Mar 2021, 20:17, Reply)

Why did the chicken cross the road?
There can be no ultimate cause in a meaningless universe, to search for one is futile, we simply witness a fragment of the space-time continuum that contains both us and the fowl crossing event, and then we die and the entity we think of as ourselves witnesses no more as it entropically decays, as does all matter until the heat death of the universe and the infinite nothingness.
( cumquat may To be or not to be? That is a question, Thu 18 Mar 2021, 13:04, 8 replies, latest was 8 weeks ago)

You walk past your favourite pub.
It is closed.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 10 Mar 2021, 21:24, 4 replies, latest was 2 months ago)

My Dawn Penn's got no no nose.

(dribble, Sat 6 Mar 2021, 9:57, 9 replies, latest was 2 months ago)

There's a saying in Edinburgh:
If you don't like the weather, just leave.
( gub~gub established board noob, Wed 3 Mar 2021, 21:28, Reply)

What is Mrs Doyle's (from Father Ted) favourite type of curry?

Goan!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory, Tue 2 Mar 2021, 8:33, Reply)

How did the Werewolf get its meal?
Deliveroo00oo00oo
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Mon 1 Mar 2021, 20:18, Reply)

What did Thom Yorke say to the Indian restaurant waiter?
"Korma, please"!!!
(dribble, Mon 1 Mar 2021, 17:33, 7 replies, latest was 2 months ago)

Which child-molesting popular figure from the 70s and 80s is quite useful in the winter?
Gary Gritter!!!
(dribble, Sun 28 Feb 2021, 22:01, 1 reply, 2 months ago)

What do you call a duckling that lost all its baby feathers after being infected with Covid-19?

Lackdown.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory, Fri 26 Feb 2021, 12:21, Reply)

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the whole ship was on spockdown
(The Porcupine From Purgatory, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 9:12, 13 replies, latest was 3 months ago)

A Englishman, and Irishman and Scotsman tried to enter a bar but the bartender told them it was closed. When they asked why the bartender told them
Im sorry but the whole ship is on spockdown
( cumquat may To be or not to be? That is a question, Fri 19 Feb 2021, 12:01, Reply)

Billy Idol once did a Misfits tribute act, but the posters for his first gig had a typo and no-one showed up.
Undeterred, he was Danzig by himself.
(dribble, Thu 18 Feb 2021, 17:41, 1 reply, 3 months ago)

Why couldnt Captain Kirk go to the bridge?
Because the whole ship was in spockdown
( cumquat may To be or not to be? That is a question, Sat 13 Feb 2021, 23:03, Reply)