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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, ... 1

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I got in trouble last night for loudly singing Englebert Humperdinck songs in the street.
But the police released me and let me go.
(, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 9:42, 2 replies, latest was 3 days ago)
Which crooner is constantly having to self-isolate?
Ping Crosby.
(, Tue 20 Jul 2021, 9:30, 15 replies, latest was 2 days ago)
I've seen loads of tennis courts, but where are all the elevenses courts?
...
(, Mon 19 Jul 2021, 22:59, Reply)
I've been thinking of opening a cafe/sex shop on the seafront.
I'd call it called Sand wi' jizz.
(, Mon 19 Jul 2021, 22:57, Reply)
I love orchestral music.
But only if it's played exclusively by orcs and kestrels.
(, Mon 19 Jul 2021, 22:54, Reply)
Why did the kraut rock?
Because it can.
(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 10:58, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
Met a guy in a pub..
..who told me he could throw a stick two miles and his dog would run after it and bring it back.
Does that sound far fetched to you?
(, Sat 10 Jul 2021, 21:28, Reply)
an englishman, an irishman and a pollack walk into a bar
the pole buys the first round, even though he hates the way he's always treated by the others
the irishman gets the next round in, even though he can't really afford it
finally the englishman gets up from the table with a expression of profound uncertainty and fucks off.
(, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 0:04, 2 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
Why are England fans like my wife?
Because they are getting excited about seeing two semis in the last three years.
(, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:13, Reply)
Which bespoke soft toy manufacturer is run by shape-shifting reptilian aliens bent on secret world domination?
The Build-a-Bear group.
(, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 10:24, Reply)
what do Swedes say to greet each other?
"wasa"
(, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 13:51, Reply)
Did you know the Swedish football team declined sponsorship from IKEA?
They didnโ€™t want to play a flat pack four.
(, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 17:22, Reply)
What do you call an 80s pop duo who's penises taste like ice cream?
Willy Vanilli.
(, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 18:41, 5 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
Do you know what really turns my stomach?
Doing cartwheels.
(, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 22:29, 13 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
Foo Fighters had to abandon releasing a greatest hits album
when Dave Grohl couldn't stop writing the title.
(, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 11:13, 9 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
What's furry and looks like Stevie Wonder?
A blind hamster.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 23:33, Reply)
Which comedian is a popular liverpool pastime?
Jimmy carr
(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 0:02, 3 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)
What do you call two comedians attempting to sexually proposition the Michelin Man?
Michael McIntyres.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:25, 2 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)
What do you call two comedians with no hair?
Sean Locks
(, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:50, 7 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)
What kind of music do wind turbines enjoy?
They're big metal fans!!!!!!!!
(, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:14, 6 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
Why didn't Hannibal keep Mr T on the team after his probationary period ended?
Bad Aptitude.
(, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:32, Reply)
Who's the funniest member of The Cure?
Lol Tolhurst!!!!!
(, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:01, Reply)
What do you call a roadblock made of potatoes?
An obstattiecle.
(, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 16:07, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
What 80s duo could feed a horse for a year?
Hall of Oates
(, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:02, Reply)
I'll just check-yes I've written a joke...
what is it called when a B-Boy fears another B-Boy? Homiephobia
(, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 19:22, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
I've always had a hard time telling apart propane canisters and butane canisters
Turns out I'm Calor blind
(, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:41, 20 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

He doesn't - he's dead.
(, Tue 25 May 2021, 8:34, 7 replies, latest was 7 weeks ago)
How did Michael Jackson compose his songs?
In A minor!
(, Mon 24 May 2021, 21:44, Reply)
What did Bob Marley say to Bunny Wailer when Bunny told him he was going to see the arthouse film, The Last of England ?
"I hope you like Jarman"
(, Sun 23 May 2021, 8:14, Reply)
Rubbish joke
I found this joke in the bin it was a rubbish bin
(, Wed 19 May 2021, 14:34, 5 replies, latest was 8 weeks ago)

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