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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, ... 1

Tell Us Your Story »

Why are Spanish houses so expensive?
Costa living.
(, Fri 22 Oct 2021, 16:10, Reply)
I just got a computer controlled autonomous car...
...it keeps parking on the road outside my house and refuses to drive onto my property. It must be the hard drive.
(, Fri 22 Oct 2021, 15:48, Reply)
Which jungle cats don't like chocolate?
Savoury tooth tigers.

FU All!
(, Fri 22 Oct 2021, 15:26, Reply)
In my late teens I was convinced I was the first to make this joke.
“Why did the girl fall off the swing?”

“Because she had no arms”
(, Fri 22 Oct 2021, 1:42, Reply)
Why did the Vietnamese general miss the Tet Offensive?
He was on a giap year
(, Wed 20 Oct 2021, 22:44, Reply)
Which French military and political leader,
who rose to prominence during the French revolution and led several successful campaigns during the Revolutionary Wars, used to carry a minty treat with a hole on his extremely small penis?

A Polo on a Bonerpart.
(, Wed 20 Oct 2021, 21:51, 1 reply, 2 days ago)
Which French military and political leader,
who rose to prominence during the French Revolution and led several successful campaigns during the Revolutionary Wars, was famous for having genitals identical to those of the endangered pygmy chimpanze?

Napoleon Bonoboparts!
(, Wed 20 Oct 2021, 20:02, Reply)
Which French military and political leader,
who rose to prominence during the French Revolution and led several successful campaigns during the Revolutionary Wars, liked to suck a cockatoo?

Napoleon Blownaparrot!
(, Wed 20 Oct 2021, 15:23, Reply)
Whose famous last words were "Kiss me hard-on"?
Fellatio Nelson
(, Wed 20 Oct 2021, 11:43, Reply)
Why can't you simply walk in to where ever Sophie Ellis Bextor is dancing?
Because it's Mordor on the dance floor.
(, Tue 19 Oct 2021, 23:01, Reply)
Which German dictator did big smelly poos? Adolf Shitler!
Which American president was known for his big smelly poos? Theodore Poosvelt!
Which British monarch was a big smelly poo? Richard the Turd!
Which Russian president is famous for doing big smelly poos? Vladimir Pootin!
Which North Korean leader smells of poo? Kim Pong Poo!
(, Tue 19 Oct 2021, 22:20, 4 replies, latest was 2 days ago)
which Roman military and political leader,
who rose to prominence during the Gallic Wars and bragged about his successful campaigns and conquests, was murdered in cold blood?

Julius Teaser!
(, Tue 19 Oct 2021, 21:58, Reply)
Which French military and political leader,
who rose to prominence during the French Revolution and led several successful campaigns during the Revolutionary Wars, died by explosion?

Napoleon Blownapart!
(, Tue 19 Oct 2021, 20:05, Reply)
What's black and white and Read all over?
The comedian Al Read during his appearances on the 1963-64 ITV sketch show 'Life And Al Read'!
(, Tue 19 Oct 2021, 17:17, Reply)
I've just cleaned my computer with a damp cloth
But it didn't wipe the data.
(, Tue 19 Oct 2021, 14:36, 1 reply, 3 days ago)
I didn't think the Tory cuts could get any worse.

(, Mon 18 Oct 2021, 17:58, 1 reply, 4 days ago)
What was William Archibald Spooner's least favourite thing for frying?
Fuck dat!
(, Mon 18 Oct 2021, 10:34, 6 replies, latest was 4 days ago)
What do you call a male sex worker?
A prostidude.
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 20:22, 5 replies, latest was 5 days ago)
It was so cold yesterday....my dick shrunk to 10 inches!

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 1:55, Reply)
what does a bee take in the bathroom?
apis
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 15:11, Reply)
Why does the Starship Enterprise smell?
Because William Shatner.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:57, 3 replies, latest was 1 week ago)
What do you call a man with no shins?
Anything you like - he can't chase you!
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:36, Reply)
Which 1980s dreampop band were named after two parts of the human body?
The Cocteau Twins!
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 16:27, 7 replies, latest was 1 week ago)
Which popular reggae singer had hits with "I Shit The Sheriff" and "Three Little Turds"?
Poop Marley.
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:35, 2 replies, latest was 1 week ago)
what do you call the actor who played Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter films, when he's in great pain caused by hard stools?
Poop-hurt Grint
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:30, Reply)
what do you get when you cross the lead singer of Status Quo, the Supreme Pontiff of the Catholic Church, and a turd?
Poop Francis
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:26, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
What magic spell does Harry Potter cast when he's constipated?

Expoolianus!
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 11:58, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
I've started a crane rental business
It wasn't going well at first, but business is picking up.
(, Sat 9 Oct 2021, 19:46, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)
Who is 19 and mainly fucks idiots?
Covid
(, Fri 8 Oct 2021, 0:58, Reply)
I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke


(, Wed 6 Oct 2021, 16:24, 2 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

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