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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

* No isms - keep this light
* Non jokes will be deleted and users temp banned
* No nicked jokes - write one!

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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Great news about the cave rescue
Finally a time when dirty men looking for Thai boys didn't end in a messy court case and deportation
(, Wed 11 Jul 2018, 2:59, Reply)
Joke
The DUP's bridge from Northern Ireland to Scotland.
(, Fri 6 Jul 2018, 13:02, Reply)
Joke
At the Battle of el Alamein, what was the last thing Rommel said to his troops before they got into their tanks?
"OK men, get into your tanks."
(, Wed 4 Jul 2018, 16:13, Reply)
Why did the amorous owl give up?
Too wet to woo
(, Fri 29 Jun 2018, 22:57, Reply)
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Clit
Clit who?
Clit Richard. Well I always thought he was a bit of a cunt.
(, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:03, Reply)
I was looking for help with my finances but I found myself looking at a website that was trying to restore a French impressionist painter's art
Turns out it was monetsavingexpert.com
(, Thu 14 Jun 2018, 22:05, Reply)
The guy from A Very English Scandal and 90s rapper Skee-Lo stood back to back
Whishaw was a little bit taller
(, Thu 14 Jun 2018, 14:10, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)
A polar bear walks into a bar. "I'll have a large ............. ...... ... whisky."
Barman: "Why the big paws?"
(, Mon 11 Jun 2018, 12:32, Reply)
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2018, 12:28, Reply)
Q. What's a good brand name for a scheme in which one pays for vehicles with anuses?
A.Bum Per Cars™.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2018, 18:39, Reply)
*ahem*
If a travel agent is surrounded by a ring of small islands, are they atoll-protected?
(, Mon 4 Jun 2018, 0:49, Reply)
What's Ferris Bueller's favourite style of curry?
Chicken Tikkaaaaaah
(, Sun 3 Jun 2018, 10:25, 1 reply, 5 weeks ago)
Someone murdered a competitor in the Tour de France
Cycle killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?




Je suis désolé.
(, Sun 3 Jun 2018, 1:28, 2 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
What do you call a small mother?
A minimum
(, Sat 2 Jun 2018, 9:21, 3 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
Embarrassed myself in a Mexican restaurant last night...
I ordered a burro instead of a churro.

What an ass!
(, Wed 30 May 2018, 13:55, Reply)
How do you escape a bear?
\🐻
(, Wed 23 May 2018, 19:07, Reply)
Mum Jokes will get you far.
But Dad Jokes will get you father.
(, Tue 22 May 2018, 22:19, Reply)
Dad Jokes
That’s how eye roll.
(, Tue 22 May 2018, 22:18, Reply)
Joke
With midges, what do you call the queen?

Your Midgesty.
(, Tue 22 May 2018, 17:02, Reply)
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a Thunderbirds puppet?
One has Brains.
(, Mon 21 May 2018, 5:27, Reply)
Doggie joke
Dog A: My owner has no nose.
Dog B: How does he smell?
Dog A: Welk, his crotch smells great.
(, Sun 20 May 2018, 20:05, Reply)
Do you know how you can tell when trash is on the curb?
It usually honks.
(, Sun 20 May 2018, 4:39, Reply)
What's twisty, tightly wound and covers a cunt?
Fox News.
(, Sat 19 May 2018, 15:55, Reply)
what do you call a big reptile that gets someone else to bite you?
a deligator
(, Sat 19 May 2018, 7:26, Reply)
Do you know what makes me cross?
Lollipop ladies.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 22:49, Reply)
There's a rumour going round....
that the antiquated Lords' plumbing system will collapse with all the extra Tory pee-ers.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 21:31, Reply)
Did you know that owls occasionally use chocolate to attract a mate?
Twix to woo.
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 22:50, Reply)
What do you call someone who delivers Indian cuisine?
A courier.
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 18:39, Reply)
What do you call a royal wedding sandwich?
Anything that's in bread.
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 7:56, 2 replies, latest was 2 months ago)
What sings opera and overdoes it on the oregano?
A Prezzo-soprano
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 1:47, Reply)

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