Prince, at the request of his friend the esteemed physicist professor Harold R. Kaufman, was checking a CSU report for NASA on the suitability of different propellants for use in ion drives, gridded electrostatic ion thrusters, and Hall Effect thrusters.
Prof. Kaufman was interested in comparing charge/mass ratios, specific impulse and cost efficiencies of the different propellant options (such as argon, bismuth, iodine, krypton, and xenon) for a given Wattage of engine power and given wet mass at launch.

Kaufman and Prince immediately agreed that the evidence pointed to xenon as the most efficient propellant, however, with it being so expensive and NASA's budget being so limited, Kaufman was under pressure to recommend switching to a cheaper option.

Prince found himself becoming increasingly frustrated with Kaufman's politically motivated indecision, and increasingly angry on a personal level with his verbose writing style.

After several months of back and forth, and having just worked through 18 pages of weak arguments in favour of argon, indium, and - of all things - *caesium*, Prince reached the end of his tether and dictated his final letter on the subject:
"Use Xe, motherfucker."
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 28 Jun 2025, 17:17, 1 reply, 2 days ago)

Prince was so sick of vegetable puns that he tried distract himself by writing a song about orange-flavoured liqueur.
It was Cointreau-versey.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 25 Jun 2025, 15:27, 1 reply, 5 days ago)

Prince was in the supermarket looking for cake toppings as he’d had enough vegetables
All he left to get was Dye, Almonds and Twirls
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 25 Jun 2025, 14:41, Reply)

How do you know when beef will fall from the sky?
You ask a meatierologist
( Octo I ruin everything., Tue 24 Jun 2025, 21:07, Reply)

What is James Bond's boss's favourite Crash Test Dummies song?
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
(electricgoose, Tue 24 Jun 2025, 14:23, Reply)

Prince was systematically washing his newly delivered vegetables, when he realised that he hadn't put on his marigolds.
To his displeasure, he found them difficult to stretch over his dainty fingers. Quickly, he doused them in a small amount of tap water. Prince hated it when his gloves were dry.
( Octo I ruin everything., Tue 24 Jun 2025, 12:05, 1 reply, 1 week ago)

Neil asked his friend Chris Barron, lead singer of American rock band The Spin Doctors why he had taken so long at the checkout in the greengrocers.
He replied 'One, or two Princes, Neil, before me.'
(Covid69 Boris variant., Tue 24 Jun 2025, 9:36, 4 replies, latest was 6 days ago)

Prince was checking in on his wolf pack, and played a game with the dominant male.
He'd been training it to choose between two packages - one which was open and contained a tasty morsel, and the other which was closed - sometimes it contained an even tastier morsel, and sometimes it was empty.

To Prince's satisfaction, the wolf chose the mystery package (which, happily, on this occasion contained the extra-tasty morsel). Turns out, alpha bets treat.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 24 Jun 2025, 8:41, 1 reply, 1 week ago)

Prince was checking his large collection of phagocytic white blood cells
when he came across an unusually large jar of the stuff. In that instant he felt compelled to throw it across the room.

Realising the significance of the act, Prince asked himself,
"Could this be the most neutrophil hurled in the world?"
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 23 Jun 2025, 22:29, 3 replies, latest was 5 days ago)

Prince was checking his veg delivery and planning to arrange a platter with all the different vegetables so he could snack on them all when he felt like it.
Satisfied, he said to himself "let's go graze-y!"
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 23 Jun 2025, 18:53, Reply)

Which former Neighbours star is a small freshwater fish?
Kylie Minnow
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 23 Jun 2025, 17:51, Reply)

Which former Neighbours star was the best at writing javascript?
Json Donovan
( Octo I ruin everything., Mon 23 Jun 2025, 16:50, Reply)

I'm scared of heights. But I've a friend who always has to go one better.
He's scared of hnines.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Mon 23 Jun 2025, 9:50, 1 reply, 1 week ago)

Prince frequently bought a prepacked meat substitute to prepare alongside any vegetables he had. Making sure to keep coupons from the packets for any special offers.
He loved his Linda McCartney standalone vegetable tree but when it came to cookware nothing beat his little, red quorn set
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sun 22 Jun 2025, 14:15, Reply)

Prince was checking his veg delivery and was disappointed that his zucchini was rotten.
'Gette off.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 22 Jun 2025, 9:49, Reply)

Prince was checking his veg delivery and was disappointed w the selection
It was all Rocket, Man.

Because had mistakenly received Elton John's veg delivery.
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Sat 21 Jun 2025, 19:32, Reply)

Prince was amazed when he got his vegetable delivery
and found a purple vegetable bossing all the other items around like it was in charge. It turned out to be an Alpha Beetroot
(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sat 21 Jun 2025, 8:31, Reply)

Prince was visiting the greengrocer to check on his veg delivery and while there asked why they were placing small red fruits in the window
Turns out, it was a raspberry display
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 20 Jun 2025, 17:37, Reply)

Prince was checking his veg delivery, thinking about how to find the water coming out of his bathroom tap.
'Come on' he said to himself. 'U got the leek'.
( Octo I ruin everything., Fri 20 Jun 2025, 11:12, Reply)

Prince was checking his veg delivery and was pleased that it came in under $20.
Turns out, it was $19.99.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 19 Jun 2025, 14:36, 2 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

Prince was checking his veg delivery and discovered a surprising shape and colour.
Turns out, it was a little red courgette.
( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 19 Jun 2025, 14:00, Reply)

Japanese Motorcycles
by Sue Zooky
(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Thu 19 Jun 2025, 8:35, Reply)

My builder was farting long and musically every time he collected mortar for building a wall
Charting a new course in rock, I asked.
No, he said, its just Hawkwind
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Thu 19 Jun 2025, 7:09, Reply)

A Joke
I'm sorry.
(DingoChavez I will be good. I will be good., Thu 19 Jun 2025, 3:02, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)

Which crooner built a wall out of breasts?
Michael Booblay
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 12:22, 2 replies, latest was 4 days ago)

True story
Lionel Richie; "You're once, twice, three times a lady"

Lady; "Actually, Lionel, the term is 'morbidly obese'"
(a_j_green, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 10:06, Reply)

Which bird organised a really shit Scottish country dancing party?

The crappercaillie.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 10:59, Reply)

George Went

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Wed 11 Jun 2025, 20:14, 4 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)

According to the Reverend W.A. Spooner, which tree that was 'born in the USA' was an accomplice of Jeffrey Epstein?
Spruce Bringsteen.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Jun 2025, 9:58, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)

Which comic character from the Dandy was so unlike all the other comic characters that there was no basis for comparison?
Disparate Dan.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 5 Jun 2025, 12:13, 9 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)