What do vivisectionists wear on their feet?
Open-toad sandals!
( Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Thu 30 Nov 2023, 18:21, Reply)

Feeling Suicidal?
Become a Space X Test Pilot today!
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 25 Nov 2023, 17:22, 3 replies, latest was 4 days ago)

which reggae band campaigns for awareness of the plight of carniverous fish who suffer with swellings and inflamation?
Shark edema amplifiers
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 25 Nov 2023, 14:07, 2 replies, latest was 5 days ago)

Which popular reggae group likes to asphyxiate mice by blowing smoke from JPS cigarettes on them?
Choke-a de mouse on Players
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 23 Nov 2023, 11:18, Reply)

I support my friend's opposition to inauthentic Vietnamese noodle soup
I'm fo' faux Pho foes
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 23 Nov 2023, 0:04, 1 reply, 1 week ago)

I used to write jokes for a living…
…but everyone kept laughing at me.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 22 Nov 2023, 23:48, 1 reply, 15 hours ago)

Which writer born in 1731 is 100% for certain the author of Robinson Crusoe, Captain Singleton, and Moll Flanders?
Daniel Deffo!
(BPD Inner City Sumo, Wed 22 Nov 2023, 9:36, Reply)

"What happened to your puppies?"
"Oh, I gave them away to a nice Thai family from somewhere in Warwickshire"

"Nuneaton?"

"No, you're thinking of Koreans"
(ElPresidente, Mon 20 Nov 2023, 22:48, Reply)

Which popular reggae group was formed when the 'Queen of Funk' showed reluctance to use a hand tool to hold objects firmly?
Chaka Demurs on Pliers.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 20 Nov 2023, 11:07, Reply)

Which cat from the musical "Cats" could destroy a major city with a single blast?
Tsar Bombalurina!
( Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 20 Nov 2023, 1:14, Reply)

Which heavy metal rock singer lost his driving licence?
Ronnie James DUI.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Sat 18 Nov 2023, 0:39, Reply)

Just got myself a Luton Airport Advent Calendar
Every day i open a door, a car park bursts in flames.
(FrenchBoast, Wed 15 Nov 2023, 22:31, 8 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

I told this girl I was an ornithologist.
She said, “Oh, you’re a bird watcher.”
I said, “Yeah, I love tits!”
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 9 Nov 2023, 12:27, 7 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

Half of which popular reggae group always tells the truth, while the other half always doesn't?
Chaka Demus and LIARS
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Wed 8 Nov 2023, 18:30, Reply)

A Qatari businessman's private jet crashed over the Swiss alps
The lone survivor of the crash, he lasted 6 days before resorting to butchering and eating the body of the deceased female flight attendant. He ultimately died of starvation because he refused to eat one portion of her body. Which portion of her body did he refuse to eat and why?
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Tue 7 Nov 2023, 22:19, 6 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)

I have carved out a highly successful career making models of famous sporting trophies out of PVC.
In fact, I've just made the World Cup vinyl.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 3 Nov 2023, 14:00, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

Two married field farmers we're busying harvesting the crops...
The woman said she has had enough of this task, and wants to do something else for a change.

The man was outraged and demanded that they should keep going on.

The woman replied:

"Can't we settle an agri-ment later?"
(FrenchBoast, Sun 22 Oct 2023, 15:56, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)

Fighting is a lot like throwing a boomerang.....
You'll need a clear look at it before it suddenly hits you.
(FrenchBoast, Sun 22 Oct 2023, 15:44, Reply)

Why was the mohel disappointed when he visited the kosher barbecue joint?
He had been told he could find briss kit there.
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Sun 22 Oct 2023, 14:35, 2 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

Remember a few years back that Pie factory in Huddersfield which exploded?.....
3.14159 people were injured.
(lladoog once licked never beaten, Thu 19 Oct 2023, 7:48, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)

I was once accused of collecting stamps
I philately denied it.
( Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 17 Oct 2023, 12:19, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)

Why are the israelis embarrassed
because they're all gathered around watching gaza strip
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 16 Oct 2023, 22:51, 1 reply, 7 weeks ago)

Last night, the server at this restaurant kept telling me of his ups and downs in Life…
…he was a dumb waiter.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 15 Oct 2023, 21:10, Reply)

Did you hear about the Mexican Ivy League graduate...
...who was arrested in Connecticut for securities fraud?

Si. He whenttu yail.
(DingoChavez I will be good. I will be good., Sat 7 Oct 2023, 17:40, 5 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)

Procol Harum built the biggest sandcastles because they used a wider shape of pail.
(Not an onanist, honestly, Fri 6 Oct 2023, 14:16, Reply)

Shouting at wine waiters is the pinot call of bad manners.
(Not an onanist, honestly, Fri 6 Oct 2023, 14:16, Reply)

Why is there only one animal in my stable?
Just big horse.
(Not an onanist, honestly, Fri 6 Oct 2023, 14:15, Reply)

What do you call bees that are too fat?
Obeesities
(Groovejackson, Thu 5 Oct 2023, 9:37, Reply)

What's small, white and fucks the homeless?
Fetanyl.
(FrenchBoast, Wed 4 Oct 2023, 10:31, 3 replies, latest was 2 months ago)

My friend is a miner
He wasn't enthusiastic at first, but then he start dig deep into it.
(FrenchBoast, Wed 4 Oct 2023, 10:30, 8 replies, latest was 2 months ago)