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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 66, 65, 64, 63, 62, ... 1

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Aberfeldy-born actor Alan is doing a tv show about the birds in my garden.
It's called Cumming on my Tits
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 25 Sep 2026, 15:50, Reply)
What do you call a man with a BIG seagull on his head
Cliffard
(beanolabub, Fri 25 Sep 2026, 0:25, Reply)
What does Maria Mckee say when wants to book a caravan holiday?
"Show me Haven."
(Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 24 Sep 2026, 11:22, 1 reply, 17 hours ago)
I see Dolly Parton is back in the top ten in the charts
9 to 5?

No, just number 8.
(AJG, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 20:16, 3 replies, latest was 2 days ago)
Which woodland bird species, named after a popular Canadian actor most famous for playing Captain James T Kirk on Star Trek, has faeces all over its breasts?
Shatner Tits.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 10:54, Reply)
Which railway terminal, named after a popular American actor most famous for playing Bones McCoy on Star Trek, has no trees on it?
DeForest Station.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 18 Sep 2026, 9:51, Reply)
Which Trump appointee as Secretary of Defense is going to pwn some n00bs?
l33t Hegseth
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sun 13 Sep 2026, 16:59, Reply)
Which Trump appointee as Secretary of Defense is the mucopurulent discharge that is characteristic of an inflammation of the urethra?
Gleet Hegseth
(piss and shit, Tue 8 Sep 2026, 8:49, Reply)
Which Trump appointee as Secretary of Defense has a pungent thick white secretion that collects under his foreskin?
Pete Smegseth!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Sep 2026, 18:59, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)
It was shocking to hear that Dolly Parton died today
She had so much still in front of her
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 5:38, 3 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
Why don't bakers play the stock market?
They don't like the whisk.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Mon 17 Aug 2026, 11:23, 1 reply, 5 weeks ago)
What's a peeping Tom and a salad got in common?
Caesar dressing
(TommyBones, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 12:59, Reply)
What are the five favourite nationalities of Mrs Dolye from Father Ted?
Goan,Goan,Goan,Goan,Goan.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Sun 9 Aug 2026, 12:18, 1 reply, 5 weeks ago)
Which Trump appointee as Secretary of Defense immediately renamed the department as the Department of A Mood of Coziness, Comfort and Safe Well-Being?
Pete Hyggeseth.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 10:32, Reply)
What kind of headphones do policemen use?
Airplods
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Thu 6 Aug 2026, 9:49, 3 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Why was the dolphin depressed?
Because he had no porpoise in life.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 5 Aug 2026, 20:56, Reply)
Linda Blair broke the speed limit going to church on Sunday, riding on the back of Christ on a bike.
The power of Christ propelled her.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 7:59, Reply)
Linda Blair ended up going to church every Sunday.
The power of Christ compelled her.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 2 Aug 2026, 18:16, Reply)
Linda Blair didn’t know how to make an omelette.
She had to call an Egg Assist.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 2 Aug 2026, 18:12, Reply)
Why did Linda Blair have to lay down after having a few drinks?
Because her head was spinning.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 2 Aug 2026, 16:12, Reply)
what's the best machine at the gym?
the vending machine
("TEMU Bou", Sat 1 Aug 2026, 8:46, Reply)
I had a bit of a catastrophe after a night drinking a French herbal liqueur
Chartreuse?

I'll say, it even got on my shirt and in my socks :(
(piss and shit, Fri 31 Jul 2026, 17:59, Reply)
What is the scariest Greek horror movie?
The Texas Chainsaw Moussaka
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 29 Jul 2026, 19:23, 4 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
What is the most Jewish vegetable?
Kohlrabbi
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 29 Jul 2026, 18:52, Reply)
Why did Jarvis Cocker have messy hair?
He wanted to be like come on people
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 7:11, Reply)
and united the organs they pissed with

(piss and shit, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 8:58, 1 reply, 2 months ago)
Sticking Things Together
By Sue Perglue
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sun 26 Jul 2026, 15:33, Reply)
Who's the smelliest New Romantic band?
Durian Durian
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:57, 2 replies, latest was 2 months ago)
What do you call an ape who is the same colour as Donald Trump?
An Orangey Tan.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 17 Jul 2026, 20:14, Reply)
What's the favourite brew at graduation?
Pg Dips
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 14:32, Reply)

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