Which large body of water are Veterinary Urologists always talking about?
The cat's peeing! See!
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 13:07, Reply)

Which ocean is always stealing?
The piracy.
(Octo I ruin everything., Sun 15 Sep 2024, 6:46, Reply)

Why does Tim Walz like tampons so much?
Cuz he’s a Bloody Cunt.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 23:51, Reply)

What is Kamala Harris’s favourite meal?
Word Salad.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 23:45, Reply)

Why did the shepherd fall asleep at the Democratic National Convention?
He was counting sheep.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 23:42, Reply)

Did you hear about the inflatable pop singer?
Beyouncy
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Tue 10 Sep 2024, 21:07, 6 replies, latest was 3 days ago)

What's the bounciest film ever made?
Boing John Malkovich.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Sep 2024, 13:21, 8 replies, latest was 1 day ago)

What do you call Oasis fans coming back from the dead?
Kaghouls
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 5 Sep 2024, 4:00, 1 reply, 1 week ago)

You're Really Good at This!
by Finlay Veiled-Sarcasm
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 1 Sep 2024, 13:00, 8 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

“It’s About Time!”
By Finally Gotaroundtowritingthis
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 31 Aug 2024, 5:44, 4 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

Chewing on door fittings will make your gums bleed
They call it hingivitis.
( Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Aug 2024, 1:44, Reply)

The former lead singer of "Wet Wet Wet" bought a chain of islands
It's a martipegalo.
( Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Aug 2024, 0:18, 2 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

"When the going gets tough, the tough start enforcing regulations to prevent accidents in the workplace"
- Billy OSHA.
( Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Aug 2024, 0:14, Reply)

I used to work in a factory making Dracula figures. It was hectic work; just me and one other guy on the production line.

I had to make every second count.
(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 28 Aug 2024, 12:33, 5 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

What will JD Vance, RFK Jr., and Donald Trump be doing for Thanksgiving?
Carving a turkey, carving a carcass, and carving a shiv.
(AdamMotorcycleRider, Tue 27 Aug 2024, 19:10, Reply)

What sits on castle walls and swears a lot?

Miriam Gargolyes
(Max Harvey, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 12:16, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)

Well, the medicine I took for my digestive problems didn't work.
Peptabysmal!
(Covid69 Boris variant., Mon 19 Aug 2024, 16:54, 3 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)

What do you call a body builder..
...who studies pelvic organs as well as weather patterns?

A meaty urologist.
(DingoChavez I will be good. I will be good., Sun 18 Aug 2024, 17:01, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

I have a remote control for my cat.
It has a paws button.
(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Sun 18 Aug 2024, 9:42, Reply)

What runs all day and night, doesn’t have any legs, and never gets tired?
A river.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 17 Aug 2024, 20:20, 2 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)

Who's the best Shakespearean actor from the Middle East?
Syrian McKellen.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 17 Aug 2024, 18:06, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

Who is the most wooden musical artist?
Spruce Springsteen
(Octo I ruin everything., Wed 14 Aug 2024, 11:47, 10 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)

What's the maddest cheese?
Em-MENTAL!!!!!
(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 13 Aug 2024, 20:00, 1 reply, 5 weeks ago)

A worker wants to complain about his arsehole boss....
His mate tells him to go see HR. So he marches to
the office, takes the lift all the way up to the HR,
steps out of the lift and what does he see? A pony
at the front desk in a clown costume. Another is
dressed like a mime, and a third pony is standing
upright, at open mike on a makeshift stage.


"Uh, is this the right place to make a complaint?"
asked the man, taken back.


"Sure", said the clown pony, "we're humourous horses!"
( maninahat Too many cocks spoil the brothel., Mon 12 Aug 2024, 23:11, 2 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

I asked my cat if I could borrow 2p because I didn't have enough change
but it said no.
Turns out I've got the tightest pussy in the world
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 11 Aug 2024, 9:41, 3 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

I entered my prized rooster into the "Biggest Foul Contest", and he won the Blue Ribbon.
Turns out, I had the biggest cock in the world.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 11 Aug 2024, 4:35, 2 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

Who is the smallest presenter of nature documentaries on tv?
David Atomborough
(Octo I ruin everything., Wed 31 Jul 2024, 22:12, 3 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)

What's the most dangerous cocktail?
A peril spritz.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 31 Jul 2024, 19:40, 1 reply, 7 weeks ago)

Waiter, when I wear a green jumper to the restaurant, you serve me salad, and when I wear red you bring me tomato soup.

Yes sir, all our meals are complementary.
(Max Harvey, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 9:20, Reply)

My watch repair shop always opens at exactly 9am.

Like clockwork?

I bloody love it.
(Max Harvey, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 9:20, Reply)