Who is the most valuable actress of all time?
Sissy SpaceX.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 19 Jun 2026, 13:58, Reply)

An economist is in a lift
He says "if trends continue, we should reach the moon by Tuesday!"
( Fitznicely into a thimble, Thu 18 Jun 2026, 12:41, Reply)

What pop singer/songwriter is dense, chewy and typically made with egg whites, sugar, and shredded coconut?
Paddy Macaroon
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 17 Jun 2026, 22:25, Reply)

What type of arthritis that causes sudden, severe joint pain is sometimes caused by the manufacture of factory-made components or units that are transported and assembled on-site to form the complete building?
Prefab Gout
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 17 Jun 2026, 7:38, Reply)

When is a joke not a joke?
Right now.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 17 Jun 2026, 3:26, Reply)

Which Charles Dickens novel tells the story of a man who had a fantastic talent for coughing up large amounts of phlegm?
Great Expectorations.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Sat 13 Jun 2026, 20:40, Reply)

What hot chocolate and banana drink can you find at the back of a wardrobe?
Banania
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 12 Jun 2026, 18:17, Reply)

What hot drink can you find in a wardrobe?
A cupboard tea
( Octo I ruin everything., Fri 12 Jun 2026, 7:37, Reply)

Which Charles Dickens novel tells the tale of a sexual predator who loved to grab women's boobies?
David Cop-a-feel.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 11 Jun 2026, 19:52, 3 replies, latest was 1 week ago)

I can't stop buying books I never read.
I have literally no shelf control.
( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 11 Jun 2026, 13:38, Reply)

I asked my vegetarian Scots Gaelic friend what the tubular dish he was eating for his tea was
"isbean" came the reply
(piss and shit, Tue 2 Jun 2026, 13:40, 6 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

I've invested in a load of German sausages but one of them is ill-mannered and annoying.
It's a bratwurst.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 2 Jun 2026, 8:35, 3 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)

I've invested in a load of German sausages but I'm worried they won't sell and will all end up sitting around in boxes
Of course, that's a wurst case scenario
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 1 Jun 2026, 20:52, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)

What does a really small Ork say?
Find the tenthling!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 1 Jun 2026, 14:55, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)

What does a really small Mork say?
Nano Nano
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 1 Jun 2026, 13:49, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)

One time this ghost was trying to convince me that he was still alive...
...but I saw right through him.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 30 May 2026, 6:07, Reply)

How does Chris Martin determine how many spaces to move his token when he's playing Monopoly?
He rolls a pair o', pair o', pair o' dice, pair o', pair o', pair o' dice, pair o', pair o', pair o' dice
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 26 May 2026, 13:55, 2 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)

What is the scariest dessert?
A terrormisu
( Octo I ruin everything., Mon 25 May 2026, 15:44, Reply)

I tried to sneak some cured beef brisket past the actor who won an Oscar for playing Freddie Mercury,
but nothing gets past Rami.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 22 May 2026, 13:37, 2 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)

Hobbits
When Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin returned home after kicking Evil's butt, they found their homes in a terrible mess. Dirt and stains everywhere. They broke out the abrasive pads, the bottles of Cif and the steel wool then went on a cleaning frenzy.
It became known as the Scouring of the Shire.
( Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 20 May 2026, 15:13, Reply)

How much do cockneys pay for shampoo?
Pantene!!!
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 18 May 2026, 23:44, Reply)

“Moggy’s Finger”
By Needa Bandaid
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 17 May 2026, 18:12, 2 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

Who is the hottest American politician?
Burnie Sanders
( Octo I ruin everything., Sun 17 May 2026, 9:06, Reply)

Knock, Knock…

Who’s there?

Good riddance.

Good riddance who?

[silence]

Hello? Good riddance who?

Hello….?
(DingoChavez I will be good. I will be good., Sat 16 May 2026, 10:04, Reply)

Who is the most covered songwriter of all time?
Bernie Tarpaulin
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 13 May 2026, 20:39, 1 reply, 5 weeks ago)

Einstein always wondered why he'd fight with his inlaws at Christmas.
It was his general theory of relatives.
( Octo I ruin everything., Tue 12 May 2026, 17:38, 2 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

When Luke Skywalker's mate joined the rebellion, he was bombarded with what elementary particle in a degrading initiation ceremony?
The Biggs Hazing
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 12 May 2026, 15:10, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

What's a farmers favourite scientific hypthesis?
Quantum field theory.
( Octo I ruin everything., Wed 6 May 2026, 11:30, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)

What is the creamiest, crumbliest, herbiest elementary particle?
The Higgs Boursin
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 6 May 2026, 11:29, Reply)

Pigs are composed of which elementary particle?
The Hoggs Boson
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 6 May 2026, 8:19, 1 reply, 7 weeks ago)