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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1

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What do you call a Chancellor of the Exchequer with eczema?

Rashi Sunak.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:52, 19 replies, latest was 5 days ago)
What did Boy George order at his local curry house?
Korma, korma, korma, korma, korma curry meal eat in.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 4:43, Reply)
Apparently the CIA have a vaccine
but you only get immunity once your negligence has caused the death of at least one innocent motorcyclist.
(, Wed 23 Sep 2020, 22:40, 3 replies, latest was 1 week ago)

My doctor is terribly boastful. Went for a prostate exam and he just had try and one up me.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2020, 22:02, Reply)
Which famous hairstylist was responsible for making longer hairstyles popular?
COVIDal Sassoon!
(, Tue 8 Sep 2020, 19:54, Reply)
this has been a long week

(, Sat 5 Sep 2020, 11:31, 1 reply, 7 weeks ago)
Best tennis player ever with bow legs
Bandy Murray
(, Fri 4 Sep 2020, 23:31, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
What's the difference between a cucumber and a balloon?
One floats to the sun and the other goes up your bum.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2020, 23:01, Reply)
How many E's in beer?
Just one. do you wanna dance? I wanna dance
(, Fri 28 Aug 2020, 10:03, Reply)
What does a cannibal have for breakfast?
Feetabix!

Sorry.
(, Fri 21 Aug 2020, 1:19, Reply)
How do you help a cannibal?
Give him (or her) a hand.
(, Fri 21 Aug 2020, 1:18, Reply)
I've written a three act ensemble piece about Roget's Thesaurus
It's a play on words.
(, Sat 15 Aug 2020, 20:28, Reply)
Piss poor punnery
My son has recently been on two dates and doesn't know which one to choose so he asked my advice.
I'm not sure I can help him as the first one manages an apiary in Llantwit, whilst the other plays in goal for Cowbridge Ladies. Well they both sound like 'keepers' to me!
(, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 20:01, Reply)
What's the easiest way to prepare for a Turkish fast food-themed fancy dress party?
Don a kebab.
(, Sun 9 Aug 2020, 21:59, Reply)
What items are difficult to fit into a nearly-full shopping trolley?
Eggs.
(, Wed 22 Jul 2020, 13:16, Reply)
70s disco music depresses me
I get down with the beat
(, Tue 21 Jul 2020, 2:30, Reply)
What do you call an oppressive potato that resembles a penis?
A dick tater.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 0:04, 1 reply, 3 months ago)
I used to get some foreigner to prepare a smoked herring breakfast for me
until I joined UKIP
(, Mon 13 Jul 2020, 9:19, Reply)
Elton John stays in a hotel...
At breakfast, he starts crying when he is served.
"What's up, sir?" says the waiter when he sees Elton crying.
"This egg," says Elton, "It's a little bit runny..."
(, Thu 2 Jul 2020, 15:29, 2 replies, latest was 3 months ago)
A horse walks into a bar...
The barman looks up and says "Hey, I know you! Didn't you eat my thesaurus?"
"Nope" says the horse.
(, Sun 28 Jun 2020, 7:30, 1 reply, 4 months ago)
Why did the duck look down when he got a letter from the electric company?
He felt he needed to lower his bill.
(, Sat 27 Jun 2020, 22:38, Reply)
How do you turn a tortoise into a turtle?
Flip it
(, Wed 24 Jun 2020, 12:06, Reply)
What do you call a rented apartment that smells of farts?
A flatulent.
(, Sat 20 Jun 2020, 18:48, Reply)
Why did Danny Dyer throw his wedding ring into Old Faithful?
Because he thought it was a diamond geyser
(, Tue 9 Jun 2020, 6:43, Reply)
I dreamt last night that my partner had got me a joke telling seagull for my birthday
But when I woke up today I was disappointed to find out that I was just having a funny tern!
(, Thu 4 Jun 2020, 20:53, 1 reply, 4 months ago)
TODAY IS:
Froggie's dyslexic cousin..
(, Thu 28 May 2020, 13:35, Reply)
I say, I say, I say...
What do you say?
What do big monkeys drink when they're feeling posh?
I don't know, what do big monkeys drink when they're feeling posh?
KONGnac!
(Kindly leave the jungle)
(, Thu 28 May 2020, 13:24, Reply)
femur: you think you're so hip
ileum: well at least i'm not a bloody cell-out
(, Wed 20 May 2020, 9:39, Reply)
My doctor told me I was grossly overweight.....
I demanded a second opinion.
He said "Okay, your an ugly cunt as well."
(, Sat 16 May 2020, 13:45, Reply)
Why do dogs lick their balls?
Because they taste great, trust me
(, Thu 14 May 2020, 12:45, Reply)

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