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Good morning
I canít leave the house yet to drive to Manchester because everytime I get in the Car I think I am going to Shit myself and have to run back in for a shit.

Why havenít you left for work yet?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 6:46, archived)
just sat down at my desk
it was a busy commute up the stairs this morning.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:10, archived)
Because unemploled

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:20, archived)
are you bald?
do you live with your mum?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)
*Firm handshakes*

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)
Because I'm lazy and haven't long been up.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:29, archived)
lol, "long up"

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)
I'm already at work.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:36, archived)
Ah. I had a few drinks last night. And it seems I may have bid on an old Batavus moped.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:37, archived)
do you also have a thing for fat girls?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)
No? Is there a link I'm missing?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)
mopeds and fat girls are both fun to ride
until someone sees you.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:48, archived)
Haha,
I'd never heard of one until I woke up this morning as the winning bidder
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)
I've not heard of them either
but a quick google seems like they're a knock-off of some Javas.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:05, archived)
Fuck sake
Well, it'll be a bit of a laugh.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:08, archived)
how much was it for this dutch shitness?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:22, archived)
Because I'm worth it.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:36, archived)
I'm so sorry you were born with it

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:40, archived)
A willy, you mean?
lol
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:03, archived)
that's really stretching the definition of willy

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:07, archived)
More like a second 'outie'

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:09, archived)
Sad face.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:02, archived)
Going to work from home today
You know...for a change
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:56, archived)
I can't seem to find the right place for my desk in my home office
If I place it so I can look out of the window then I get too much screen glare for most of the day, and if I try to reduce the glare then I'm stuck staring at blank walls.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:08, archived)
The people who used to live here ran their own business
and they built an office area at one end of the house. Job done.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)
look mr moneybags here
part of the fareham set now
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)
My son told me he's having a fencing lesson today
I don't know where I've moved to, Dollars.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:48, archived)
they'll expect skiing holidays every year soon

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:49, archived)
fuck
I'll be ruined
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)
Tell your kids they have a hereditarry condition that means they are allergic to expensive sports
polo, skiing or golf will cause their thumbs to swell up and stop working.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:10, archived)
alright spanishfly

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:09, archived)
ah

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:10, archived)
Glad I think so to

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)
I mean "you"

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)
cheers

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)
Nah it's a brand new person isn't it

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)
I guess, I mean a person well versed in IT security wouldn't make it so obvious

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)
Morning Jammy_Dodger poster
I am at my desk. What's with the Random capitalisation, Mate?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:24, archived)
Because I'm on my last day of paternity leave because my greedy wife won't share any of her maternity leave.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:34, archived)
being back at work is much better than being at home with a screaming infant

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)
He's got other people's screaming infants at work

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)
Because I haven't got a job yet
And I have to wait in for the electrician
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:38, archived)
still no job?
it's almost like you're willfully sabotaging your chances.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)
There's fuck all decent right now
Hoping this auditor job comes off next week
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:10, archived)
This is the worst morning thread this week
who do I complain to?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)
The vicar

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)
my anus

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:53, archived)
Oi, $$'s bum
this thread is shit!
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:02, archived)
I've started a beakering new one

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)