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6/7
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-49011886
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:27, Reply)
3/7 - piss up a rope

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:31, Reply)
5/7 when I did it earlier this morning.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:35, Reply)
n/n - helmcheese

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:36, Reply)
Did they have that in the Temperature-controlled Cheese Cave™?
Could you smear it on a burger and call it a Smeg Mac?
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:57, Reply)
Please, for god's sake
no more cheese pun threads...
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 12:05, Reply)
You'd better brie-lieve it!

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 12:12, Reply)
Well I'll be Edam-ned!

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 12:13, Reply)
Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm cheesed off!!!!

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 12:27, Reply)
a score
4/6
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:46, Reply)
I did not know a single one of those - 4/7

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:48, Reply)
7/7 "Shitcock Farter"

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:52, Reply)
two
again
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:55, Reply)
still morning
Up to owt this weekend? I have no plans at all. Might wank off a weevil. Not seeing my kid until August 15th now :(
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:39, Reply)
I'm going to DARK MATTER Friday Late: Elemental
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/dark-matter-friday-late-elemental-tickets-64662202388
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:43, Reply)
Then I'm gonna shoe like they're about to make it illegal...
(we had mother-in-law staying for 3 months, she left last Wednesday, and the lodger left yesterday so WHOLE FUCKING HOUSE TO OURSELVES WOO!!!!)
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:44, Reply)
going for Sichuan grub later, most likely shoe it after, I fancy getting wankered and going on the decks

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:25, Reply)
Yeah, you get a lot of trade on the top of a bus

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:51, Reply)
I really do

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:04, Reply)
Well, since you ask...
They're doing a mini-festival at the moment to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Mankind's first steps on the moon, so tonight there's going to be a Pink Floyd cover band concert followed by some open-air cinema with films about the moon.

Tomoz I might go and see the Mexican-themed exhibition at teh museum. Tomoz night: big pub/club night.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:44, Reply)
Oh man you're getting to see Blue Haze!!!!!

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:47, Reply)

Ikr?
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:49, Reply)
I get as much good sex as I want and I drive a fast car

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:54, Reply)
#BreakfastWithJimi

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:55, Reply)
alright tracy chapman

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:23, Reply)
Didn't know Mick Foley went to the moon.
That must have been some hardcore rumble!
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:59, Reply)
I also have a new iPhone XR (that's pronounced ten-arrrrr you fucking plebs)
so I've got to get all my haps off the android and onto an apple. That must happen.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:46, Reply)
amongst other things, attending a memorial event for one of my daughter's friends who died last month
should be well lol
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:51, Reply)
try not to get an awkward boner

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:56, Reply)
I'm just going to display it with pride to avoid any awkwardness

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:59, Reply)
few wees, few poos, might toss off a terrapin

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:59, Reply)
hurtle that turtle!

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:20, Reply)
Wanking off a reptile,

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:28, Reply)
turtle phwoar

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:50, Reply)
God a wedding to go to tomorrow up in Aberdeen.
In all honesty I'd prefer not to go.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:04, Reply)
Tell them you've god a cold.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:30, Reply)
Off to see the latest Spider-man, this evening,
then taking daughter, and a couple of her mates, to the roller disco, on Saturday. The boys will no doubt be spending the day at the nerd emporium, which put out a notice about body ordour, this week - great to see my fellow dorks keeping up the stereotype!
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:07, Reply)
Keyword: Magic.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:08, Reply)
Increasing number of Yu-Gi-Oh players.
The fucking weirdos.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:28, Reply)
Same difference.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:33, Reply)
My missus reckons any large group of boys will stink to high heaven, regardless of individual odours,
and so they should get more girls involved. I can see that being a challenge.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:37, Reply)
Yeah, the only girls that are going to get involved with that are also going to be swamp rats.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:45, Reply)
Ladies don't sweat, they glow.
There's 2 or 3 who I know go regularly, but it's never going to be enough to dilute the overall miasma of a couple dozen nerds in a small space.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:55, Reply)
naked cartwheeling with Narada Michael Walden

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:12, Reply)
Googled her, fuck she's ugly

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:21, Reply)
I assume pub and chicken wings as my lads over

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:21, Reply)
solid plan

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:05, Reply)
Interview today
Work tonight and party time tomorrow
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:32, Reply)
Good luck!

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 10:52, Reply)
best of British m8

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:05, Reply)
Sending good vibes ur way babez xxx

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:13, Reply)
Bit optimistic, they might have other candidates to get through

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:16, Reply)
Bit torn about this, I'd like to say good luck but where will we get our brothel facts from?

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:22, Reply)
There must be some other forum member who knows about paying vulnerable people for sex

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:27, Reply)
Hey, hey, hey - I don't PAY vulnereable people for sex. I exploit them and get it for free.
Like everyone else in this place.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:29, Reply)
Vulnerable + venereal maybe yours will catch on

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 11:42, Reply)
k now it actually is morning

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 6:47, Reply)
No wai

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 6:51, Reply)
4 real

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 6:53, Reply)
alright dribble

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:10, Reply)
$$

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:22, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:50, Reply)
Morning
that young hobo is back outside Sainsbury's. Gave him a quid and from his mumbled thanks either his mum drunk while pregnant with him or he's just very, very dim. Poor sod.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:31, Reply)
so are you two lovebirds going out somewhere nice tonight?

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:48, Reply)
Gonna have to take a rain check on that tryst
judging from the state of what's visible, I recon that anything downstairs'll need a good going over with dettol and a pressure-washer before going near.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:53, Reply)

+ in the
n r
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:54, Reply)
chemsex party up vauxhall

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:54, Reply)
Do I have to travel that far?!

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:59, Reply)
yes

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:15, Reply)
Sailors sauna is more local for mcbeef

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:16, Reply)
that place looks fucking scary

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:17, Reply)
Yeah like you ain't in there on fat hairy bear Mondays

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:20, Reply)
didn't say I wasn't

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:27, Reply)
If they opened a sauna in Paddington
it could be bear night every night.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:49, Reply)
*hard stare*

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:51, Reply)
lol, hard

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:51, Reply)
lol hard with a vengeance

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:54, Reply)
Find yourself another bear and a ginger man
and enjoy a marmalade sandwich
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:24, Reply)
you just blew my mind

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:31, Reply)
Are you sure?
is that your mind you're wiping clean with a tissue now?
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:39, Reply)

mind dog
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:47, Reply)

πŸ‘πŸ‘„πŸ‘
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:47, Reply)
I couldn't agree more

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:48, Reply)
It's too hot for any of this tomfoolery.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:58, Reply)
overcast here today, was raining a little earlier

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:13, Reply)
Watch out, The Met Office, this is some stiff competition, right here.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:14, Reply)
I gave your nan some stiff competition last Christmas

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:16, Reply)
This checks out.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:02, Reply)
I'll be over at 10 then it's Latitude

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:06, Reply)
Woo-hoo! I don't know what that is!

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:13, Reply)
we're going to see Nish Kumar perform comedy in a tent

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:18, Reply)
well jel

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:26, Reply)
I like him.
He laughs at his own jokes, so you know they must be funny!
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:34, Reply)
the best thing about him is that he definitely doesn't have a whiny, nasal tone to his voice
God, imagine how annoying that would sound
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:44, Reply)
Don't make this about me, please.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:51, Reply)
fucking direct access barrister needs paying up front ahead of September's hearing
bye bye Β£2400

:(
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:15, Reply)
I'll do it for £1200

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:20, Reply)
when were you called to the bar m8

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:33, Reply)
Last orders?

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:36, Reply)
HEY GUYS MAKE SURE YOU DON'T MISS THIS BRILLIANT JOKE BY 'MONSTER MUNCH'!!!!

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:45, Reply)
Getting on the Popular page will validate my online existence.
I'll make sure to thank you personally when I get my OBE.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:53, Reply)
He may not passed the bar but he knows a little bit

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:45, Reply)
how difficult can it be?

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:05, Reply)
I'll do it for £1199.99

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:23, Reply)
when were YOU called to the bar m8

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:34, Reply)
Your nan gave me direct access and unlimited refills IYKWIM.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:27, Reply)
Do they still want a cash retainer?

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:46, Reply)
this is payment for the barrister in full up front
my solicitor just bills at the end of each hearing, no retainer required. But then we're old mates by this point
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:59, Reply)
Barristers were always up front, but 500 cash used to be the standard retainer

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:12, Reply)
my previous barristers weren't, I didn't pay them directly, their bills were included in my solicitor's fees
it's different this time because I'm hiring them directly, it's cheaper this way but means more work by me. I'm very much OK with this
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 9:16, Reply)
FUCK YEAH FRIDAY
alright
(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:26, Reply)
not so bad, not so bad

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 8:29, Reply)
neither morning nor afternoon

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 16:29, Reply)
norftornoon
/maybe yours will catch on
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 16:31, Reply)
preevening

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 16:38, Reply)
mornternoon maybe urs will c4tch on !!!!
#funny #bantz #b3taswears

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 16:49, Reply)
and when they were only halfway time of day they were +

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 17:33, Reply)
Why I bothered with watches with this sort of time engagement on the www I'll never know

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 17:55, Reply)
wee on a wolfhound, it's 18:13!

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 18:13, Reply)
Your random quote is well lol m8
b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 18:20, Reply)
Christ, I'm number 6 on the /board stats
with 12 posts.

Twelve.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 19:03, Reply)
Member when ht used to do 300+ a week
wonder where he spends all his time now
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 19:18, Reply)
Turns up on robs poke nonsense often

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 20:12, Reply)
Stop flooding the board please

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 21:51, Reply)
not the least bit surprised by the sad cunts in three figure territory

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 19:36, Reply)
Without context I don't really know how to interpret this. Do you have a history of not being the least bit surprised? Or perhaps the opposite, you're always surprised, and this is a unique exception?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 22:00, Reply)
some of my best work

(, Fri 19 Jul 2019, 7:22, Reply)
Might pop over there, show them the joy of catch and release

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 18:46, Reply)
Is this a gay sex thing?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 19:55, Reply)
I forgot the link, lol
www.exploretibet.com/blog/why-tibetans-do-not-eat-fish/
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 20:10, Reply)
One step removed from eating your grandparents then

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 20:48, Reply)
I made a nang goat curry and rice & pea this week.
Also I downloaded Krush Groove.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 20:57, Reply)
not morning

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:18, Reply)
*tumbleweed*

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:20, Reply)
Banned poster dozer was the glue holding /chat together, who knew

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:23, Reply)
We should have realised he was a glue from all those noxious fumes he gave off.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:29, Reply)
That was mcbeef m8

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:31, Reply)
^

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:49, Reply)
Rendered down fish?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:40, Reply)
Horses' hooves, it's all good.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:02, Reply)
I got a couple of drops of chilli oil on my shorts when I ate my noodles
I've tried to clean them off and now it looks like I've pissed my pants. And I've clearly done nothing to get rid of the chilli oil either :(
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:23, Reply)
lol, piss

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:25, Reply)
I thought this was going to go down a
"... and then my winkie got all sore and swollen and I rubbed it to make it better ... that's what I told the police..." kind of direction
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:29, Reply)
With your hands covered in chili oil?
Just a hunk of burning love.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:30, Reply)
I preferred Liemallow's chilli oil anecdote.
I say anecdote, I mean lie.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:31, Reply)
Linky?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:37, Reply)

L W
lol
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:44, Reply)
It definitely happened.
b3ta.com/questions/foodsex/post497434
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:45, Reply)
I do like the twix story on that qotw, though.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:48, Reply)
Fucking hell.
If the horrid /talk trolls killed qotw, it was a fucking mercy killing.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:51, Reply)
I think a lack of brevity killed it
I can't be arsed reading walls of text
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:54, Reply)
Ah yes, Albert the Superstud.
I do remember that Twix story, though; that were reet well-written and funny, liek.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:57, Reply)
I liked it best when people would post 15 dense paragraphs in the lead up to a shit pun.
That was well lol.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:00, Reply)
I've no idea what you're on about m'hei8888ttt.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:03, Reply)
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But with fewer payoff.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:08, Reply)
tl;dr
Seriously though I thought you were sledging me for having posted several answers like that in the past.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:09, Reply)
+24h

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:16, Reply)
u love it u slag

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:20, Reply)
So you're Doctor Skagra?
Fuck off and die in a fire.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:35, Reply)
Christ, no.
I'd have set fire to myself long ago if that had been the case.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:37, Reply)
πŸ€”
Checks out, you didn't call me "sweetie".
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:50, Reply)
we'd have been happy to do it for you

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:30, Reply)
Tim Stilton was your sockpuppet?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:41, Reply)
not a fucking chance

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:47, Reply)
It wasn't until I was wandering about 'on road' yesterday that I noticed I had a turmeric stain right around my crotch.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:34, Reply)
better there than round the back I suppose

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:50, Reply)
Ha, true.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:53, Reply)
When I first worked in Dundee,
One of the methadone clients arrived to take her daily supervised dose. She was wearing white trousers, and had realised as she got into the taxi that she'd started her period and had a bloody mess down her crotch, but evidently thought "oh well, fuck it" and continued regardless.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:43, Reply)
I married her

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:46, Reply)
You should have held out for her sister,
she's even classier.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:48, Reply)
There used to be a great video on youtube of this pisshead who'd shat himself in white trousers.
'ere mate, you've shit yourself'
'nah, what it was was i sat down in it at brighton, it was half my fault, half wasn't, know what I mean'
'you shit yourself'
deflated 'yeah'

he walks off and touches his arse and the bloke filming bellows 'DON'T PUT YER AND IN IT'.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:55, Reply)
you should do a AMA

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:47, Reply)

AMA shit

lol
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:51, Reply)
boa tarde

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:49, Reply)
maayong hapon

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:50, Reply)
It's so hot that I just ate half a tub of lemon sorbet
Now I feel a bit sick.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 13:53, Reply)
Tip: prevent yourself feeling even sicker by not eating the other half.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:00, Reply)
brain freeze took the decision out of my hands

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:31, Reply)
Tip: work through the sorbet barrier
by eating the other half.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:11, Reply)
see my reply to yeti

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:31, Reply)
Big fat smelly sweaty fannies
there
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:05, Reply)
Where?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:12, Reply)
at last, some sense

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 14:33, Reply)
Strikey scents

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:00, Reply)

?
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:19, Reply)
This short independent documentary has the Catholic Church on the ropes
Because it exposes the biggest scandal
Something darker and more sinister than Sandy Hook and Benghazi combined...
And itÒ€ℒs spreading like wild fire all over the internet.
Shocking Proof God's Plan Is Coming True...

<><> Click Here Before The Video Is Taken Down Permanently <>< >

srvlloss.bid/rI_zxVuxbBsOfQNfzX8t277_n8XIcULnBRes5Q4T9WavBLaj

(yeah, right, like I'm clickin' dat)
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:06, Reply)
I've just clicked it and it was really cool you should definitely take a look

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:23, Reply)
I clicked it and singlehandedly brought the Catholic Church to its knees.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:40, Reply)
I clicked it and loads of hot women are now 'in my area' iykwim

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:41, Reply)
Attracted by the chilli oil, no doubt.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 15:46, Reply)
that and so much more besides

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 16:30, Reply)
i clicked it and now i can talk to hedgehogs

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 16:04, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 6:47, Reply)
morning'

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 6:58, Reply)
wazzing it down today, should clear the air though

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:09, Reply)
I'm sure you'll stink it up again in no time
Unexpectedly at home with sick child, today. Mother-in-law has fucked her back, so our live-in childcare is temporarily unavailable.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:16, Reply)
Your family members are weak

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:26, Reply)
The other 2 have shrugged it off, poor girl has clearly inherited my lungs.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:40, Reply)

lungs macrocephaly and chronic mongolism
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:13, Reply)
I don't think you're qualified to make that diagnosis, Mr Gervais.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:49, Reply)
+split ep on anticulture records

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 10:13, Reply)
Going to be 25c with thundershowers according to accuweather, sounds exciting

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:33, Reply)
no lunchtime stroll for me today then

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:34, Reply)
you're no fan of 100% humidity?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:32, Reply)
only their first album

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:44, Reply)
:)

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:45, Reply)
I thought youd enjoy the final one

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:55, Reply)
they certainly saved the best for last

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 9:33, Reply)
Alreet.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:01, Reply)
arr

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:09, Reply)
I went for a shower and could not find my clean pants
thought I'd have to go commando and run around the building to see where I'd dropped them... Then... I found them under the towel!

WIN!
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:25, Reply)
This anecdote is...PANTS! Aaahahahahahaha

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:29, Reply)
Beats your travel card shenanigens yesterday
at least my story is sexeh
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:33, Reply)
I must have left out the part about how it must have fallen out of my pocket when I was stripping off for a good beatboxing session.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:34, Reply)
idgi

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:34, Reply)
that's nice, dear

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:35, Reply)
he's trying to make you think about his bum

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:39, Reply)
this is life

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:39, Reply)
it sho nuff is

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:38, Reply)
ain't no thang

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:40, Reply)
bom dia

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:50, Reply)
bum queer more like

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:52, Reply)
laugh out loud

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:53, Reply)
Bom dia, tudo bem?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:56, Reply)
nunca melhor

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:58, Reply)
Bom

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:20, Reply)
Is this minionese?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:55, Reply)

Bună dimineața
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:02, Reply)
rogaynian more like roll on the floor laughing

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:05, Reply)
shaking my head!

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:10, Reply)
urinating myself chortling

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:12, Reply)
oh

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:13, Reply)
pissing myself laughing !

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:13, Reply)
queefer

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 7:58, Reply)
it is I

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:01, Reply)
Morning.
Despite having a good 7 hours, I feel like I need a nap.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:34, Reply)
I've been waking up at daybreak the last couple of days
4.30am yesterday, 5am today. I seem to be doing okay on it though.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:37, Reply)
If it's before 5am I can usually get back to sleep, after that it's highly unlikely and it's happening a lot
hopefully this rain will help
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 8:47, Reply)
Morning

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 9:08, Reply)
hullo

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 9:34, Reply)
I watched Berberian Sound Studio and now it's tickled my interest in Giallo.
So last night I watched The Bird with the Crystal Plumage.

/that's interesting mick
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 10:57, Reply)
I too enjoyed Berberian Sound System and also the soundtrack LP by Broadcast
/alsointeresting
(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 11:15, Reply)
I'd never heard of it, looks good

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 11:24, Reply)
I enjoy most stuff with toby jones, plays a great mong in marvellous

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 11:33, Reply)
I really liked the detectorists

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 11:38, Reply)
Yeah good sitcom that

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 11:41, Reply)
There was a young, attractive homeless person outside Sainbury's just now
I was thinking "I know how you could make a lot more money than you can begging..."

I guess that makes me a bad person.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:50, Reply)
I think you already knew what a bad person you are

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:53, Reply)
Moi?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:58, Reply)
toi

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:59, Reply)
+t

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:59, Reply)
^ hoity-toity

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:53, Reply)
lemon-sqoity

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:53, Reply)
oity poity lemon sqoity

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 0:06, Reply)
I wonder if anyone's compiled any statistics on the percentage of homeless people who have gone down that road.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:57, Reply)
Which road is that?
*gets out A-Z*
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:58, Reply)
mcbeef has

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:58, Reply)
84% of prostitutes in Chicago are currently or have previously been homeless.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:02, Reply)
Yeah.... but... did they become prositutes BECAUSE they were homless
or did they become homeless BECAUSE they were prostitutes.

A-ha!
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:14, Reply)
Going to hazard a guess here, but I'm pretty sure it's the former option.
Follow-up question: how much does the average prostitute earn a month, anyway?
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:16, Reply)
11p lol

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:22, Reply)
Is that the 10p you pay them
plus a penny tip if they wipe up the poo afterwards?
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:25, Reply)
All the people I've known in the industry have been sex workers
from escorts, dancers, therapists, actors etc. Lots have been very damaged people, but the majority of them are functional. Most have been very interesting, smart and damn good fun to know.

I think that anyone working on the street has probably led a chaotic life where the lines between substance abuse, sexual abuse, prostitution and homelessness may been a tangled mess their whole lives.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:24, Reply)
I never touched them

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:26, Reply)
How many lives have you destroyed you sociopath

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:52, Reply)
many
and he's still doing it
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 14:05, Reply)
From what I can tell
About 2.5k
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 16:48, Reply)
And no deductions too

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 17:00, Reply)
Lube ain't cheap

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 17:11, Reply)
Not exactly expensive, though

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 17:26, Reply)
I fancy a go on this ring-stinger
redhousespice.com/sichuan-boiled-fish/
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:52, Reply)
I wouldn't wish the indignity of being a "social media influence" on anybody.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:56, Reply)
Someone else agrees
www.insider.com/bianca-devins-influencer-murdered-photos-crime-surface-social-media-2019-7
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 14:04, Reply)
That was fucking nasty, and I'm glad I didn't see the photos.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 14:10, Reply)
You're a racist. No you're a racist. No you're a racist. No, you're a racist.
that was Today In Parliament. Now, we go to a special report from the USA...

You're a racist. No you're a racist. No you're a racist. No, you're a racist. You're a racist. No you're a racist. No you're a racist. No, you're a racist. You're a racist. No you're a racist. No you're a racist. No, you're a racist.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 14:08, Reply)
Lelz at BoJo's sweaty backpedalling with "We're not going to war in Iran!" to try to distance himself from his KKK mate stateside.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 14:48, Reply)
My name is Jarvis, how do you do.
Later on I'm going to cruise round Soho looking for some homeless jailbait to pick up. Well hello. So this is your first night down in the big smoke is it? Absolutely penniless you say?
How very interesting...
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 14:59, Reply)
Oh god!

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 15:01, Reply)
Buy a smoking jacket is my advice.
And a Bentley.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 15:17, Reply)
I have a smoking jacket

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 15:48, Reply)
Show him how to check your prostate
That way you're giving a disadvantaged young lad valuable medical training.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 15:02, Reply)
He's unconscious in a sleeping bag
next to the supermarket entrance. Maybe he's just had a helluva weekend? No, if you have the kind of weekend that goes on till Wednesday you don't think about taking a sleeping bag with you into central London.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 15:50, Reply)
<s> dead

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 16:54, Reply)
Don't count on it

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 15:05, Reply)
He wasn't very effective at begging

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 15:12, Reply)
Fair enough

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 15:14, Reply)

how you could make a lot more money than you can begging..."

I guess that makes me a bad person.
the way how
You could make lots more money: suck cocks in the dunny
Why I'd chip you a fiver right now!

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Edward Queer

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 17:24, Reply)
How young?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 18:23, Reply)
Alright 'Nathan Barley'

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 20:05, Reply)
Can't believe it's been 14 years, freaks my nut out

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 20:13, Reply)
I went to uni with a guy who was mates with Charlie Brooker.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 21:28, Reply)
Don't leave us hanging there, get to the climax of your anecdote please

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 21:41, Reply)
I wish I could have got to the bottom of it, but he mentioned it in passing one afternoon in the common room and had to go to a lecture.
It was when TVGoHome was still a thing.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 21:46, Reply)
Oh, back when he was still funny, then?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2019, 5:53, Reply)
Shit, fart, wank, tits, cock, spunk
How about THAT for some fucking swearing eh?

r u ok lol
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:01, Reply)
that was some pretty strong language, apologies to any child boarder's reading

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:03, Reply)
Who here is boarding a child?
Is that even legal?
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:13, Reply)
Might be a foreign exchange student, my lad went over to Germany doing that the other week.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:15, Reply)
Onboard a child?
surely it would be quicker to board a plane...
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:43, Reply)
^ Buffy's sweary keyboard

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:03, Reply)
alright queef-o, been a while since we had a decent terrorist atrocity, are they all on their hollibobs?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:08, Reply)
should imagine formenterror is a popular destination

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:18, Reply)
and the cinque terror in Italy

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:35, Reply)
Bombidorm?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:40, Reply)
I'm planning a terrorist atrocity as I type this

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:35, Reply)

disgusting

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:37, Reply)
Trying to cut down on my fag intake so today I'm rolling my own, they're alright, might try a vape thing too

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:11, Reply)
this is the one I bought my wife, it has done the job
www.superiorvapour.com/products/bo-plus-starter-kit-by-bo-vaping

Between that and patches she's gone from 15-20 a day to none, been six months now at least
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:38, Reply)
some pricklord kid who works in our warehouse has gone from smoking none a day to vaping in his car every lunchtime

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:39, Reply)
he should be sacked

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:39, Reply)
might let his tyres down

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:40, Reply)

s tyres down m cum in my arse
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:46, Reply)
tits first, I'm not a slag

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:10, Reply)
Looks alright, I'm doing nearly 40 a day , got to cut that

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:47, Reply)
piece of piss to use, charges like a phone and the liquid pods just click into the end
plus it doesn't look like a fucking Dr Whom prop
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 13:30, Reply)
My big fucker of a brick vape died recently
So I got this www.vapeclub.co.uk/vape-kits/vaporesso/sky-solo-plus for a cheap replacement, and its really good - good battery life, nice hit, good flavours, and really easy to fill and change the coil when it needs it. Only downside is the small tank and it goes through juice pretty quick
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:40, Reply)
piss

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:37, Reply)
k reporting this

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:38, Reply)
k reporting piss more like rofl

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:39, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:41, Reply)
more bullying of yeti

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:41, Reply)
that guy is totes boring

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:42, Reply)
too legit to quit

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:37, Reply)
totes

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:39, Reply)
that's all well and good for you, but how do *I* fucking swear?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:38, Reply)
beats me m8

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:39, Reply)
thought you might prefer more creative forms of profanity

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:40, Reply)
you swear by pledging allegiance to Our Lord and Saviour

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:42, Reply)
Guy in my class when I was 11 had to write 200 lines of "I must not swear" when overheard swearing by a teacher.
When he'd finished, he handed in his paper and the teacher looked at him dismissively and said "Learn how to spell 'swear'."
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:45, Reply)
he should've got mcqueef's grandad to prove it wasn't swearing

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:47, Reply)
Hindsight is 20/20.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:52, Reply)
wow that’s a pretty boring story

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:50, Reply)
Teachers aren't supposed to give out lines, anymore.
My wife was gutted, she used to love taking their work and just binning it.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:03, Reply)
Heh.
More than one of my teachers used to get students to stand against the wall with their knees at 45Β° and their arms outstretched, with books balanced on their heads. All completely illegal, even in the 80s.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:09, Reply)
Bring back water-boarding!

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:11, Reply)
It was lol listening to them reminisce openly about the cane.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:16, Reply)
Those happy days when frustrated adults could openly assault children without fear or shame.
Hard Brexit Now!
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:20, Reply)
That's what's wrong with society
and why kids are going around being disrespectful and throwing acid at people and having sex and violently mugging people from the backs of mopeds.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 12:47, Reply)
Mornin

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 5:32, Reply)
Morning
Very much looking forward to my day off tomorrow
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 5:33, Reply)
Yayyyy

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:23, Reply)
Got another interview tomorrow
Hotel right round the corner from my house. Same pay, but no travel costs and I can get there and back in 3 minutes
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:31, Reply)
an actual hotel or another one that caters for shorter stays?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:32, Reply)
An actual hotel

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:42, Reply)
good luck in going legit

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:47, Reply)
Ta
It would mean about 3 extra hours of sleep a night
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 8:12, Reply)
g

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 6:28, Reply)

S'up?
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:23, Reply)
Nothing
Whatsa-up with you?
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:03, Reply)
Morning.
I can't find my metro pass anywhere. Have you seen it?
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:08, Reply)
Yes

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:24, Reply)
Thanks man, I was worried there for a moment.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:25, Reply)
np

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:43, Reply)
h
Haha, like that guy used to post, oh man those were the days
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:28, Reply)
Halcyon, positively halcyon

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:43, Reply)
Alright, one of the Hartnoll brothers.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 8:21, Reply)
never understood their success, apart from Chime they're shit

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:21, Reply)
festival dance band innit
funny dynamic with the 2 brothers, saw an interview recently with the geeky one speaking earnestly about synths, and the other one was just gurning
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:33, Reply)
They should swap one of them with Bros.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:14, Reply)
I went to watch them at (I think) Phoenix 97.
Given that I don't do drugs and don't much care to dance, watching a couple of torches bobbing about wasn't all that exciting.
Someone told me that Jeff Minter did their graphics, though, so that was cool.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:44, Reply)
:(

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:07, Reply)
Good fun live.
I don't know why they lug all that gear (some of it's always new) round to do the same set though.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:12, Reply)
happy birthday windy pig

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:31, Reply)
Is piggers nearly a grown up?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:43, Reply)
he's in long trousers now

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:44, Reply)
Whose?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 8:12, Reply)
oooOOoh i'm all at sixes and sevens

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:40, Reply)
What the fuck does that actually mean?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:44, Reply)
GS

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:46, Reply)
I actually know this.
It's something to do with the merchant Taylor's guild in London having a fight with another organisation about what order they were in, in ther Lord Mayors procession. They agreed to swap position year by year.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 8:07, Reply)
Wow
Mind - blown
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 8:28, Reply)
procession position yes

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 8:34, Reply)
nice one cuntso, I love finding out about this sort of thing

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:02, Reply)
Happy World Emoji Day!

☁☁🌰🌰🌰☁☁
β˜β˜πŸ‘‚πŸ‘€πŸ‘‚β˜β˜
β˜β˜πŸ‘πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘β˜β˜
β˜β˜πŸ‘γ€°πŸ‘β˜β˜
β˜πŸ”΅πŸ”΅πŸ”΅πŸ”΅πŸ”΅β˜
πŸ”΅πŸ”΅πŸ”΄πŸ’›πŸ”΄πŸ”΅πŸ”΅
πŸ”΅β˜πŸ”΅πŸ”΄πŸ”΅β˜πŸ”΅
πŸ”΅β˜πŸ”΅πŸ”΅πŸ”΅β˜πŸ”΅
πŸ‘‡β˜πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β˜πŸ‘‡
β˜β˜πŸ”΅πŸ”΄πŸ”΅β˜β˜
β˜β˜πŸ”΅β˜πŸ”΅β˜β˜
β˜β˜πŸ”΅β˜πŸ”΅β˜β˜
β˜β˜πŸ‘’β˜πŸ‘’β˜β˜

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:40, Reply)
Needs more rude

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:44, Reply)

πŸ“…
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:48, Reply)
Willies.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 8:21, Reply)
RIP Andrea Camilleri
I guess the last Inspector Montalbano will be published now
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 8:34, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:20, Reply)
Geezer Butler's birthday today

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:49, Reply)
Is that Claude's streetwise brother?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:52, Reply)
Not unless he's the bassist for black Sabbath

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:53, Reply)
He had a track on the Mortal Kombat soundtrack.
That was ace. Easily a high watermark in the Videogame to Film adaptation genre.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:54, Reply)
Only ever seen that once

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:00, Reply)
I don't think I can overstate my love for that film.
Certainly not the sequel, though, and sadly not that reboot series that came out a few years back (had real promise, but tried to be serious, which MK really isn't).
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:32, Reply)
Not my kind of film

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:40, Reply)
I want to rewatch Black Dynamite now.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:41, Reply)
We must go...
... to Kung-fu Island!
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 11:14, Reply)
I've found my metro pass now.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:54, Reply)
That's good
Now see if you can find the girl who was meant to be here an hour ago
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:01, Reply)
If she's in my trouser pocket as well, she's very good at hiding.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:04, Reply)

very good at hiding gonna get a shock as the lining's broken and I'm not wearing pants
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:09, Reply)
Tell her she's got a booking for 12 and I'm running out of pornos

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:26, Reply)
12 at once? She'll be walking like john wayne after that ploughing

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:32, Reply)
"drink your milk"

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:36, Reply)
New girls get all the cock

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:39, Reply)
"Hanging' Tough" went 8x platinum in the US.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:45, Reply)
yeah my granny used to say that

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:45, Reply)
Robert Palmer's lessszzzzz.....

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:46, Reply)
Alright milla

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:05, Reply)
Having an orange dishmop on your head has never been sexier.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:13, Reply)
Remember Lee Evans?
I think he might be dead, now.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:28, Reply)
Wikipedia has an illuminating section on his contribution to comedy.
"Evans' sweat drenches him on stage. During most of his headlining performances, he often takes an intermission, during which he has a quick shower and changes into a different suit. He has also said that his suits are regularly thrown away after three performances, mainly because of the sweat, with dry-cleaners refusing to handle them."
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:30, Reply)
Disgusting.
He did some filming in Hatfield, around the time I was living there. "The Martins", or something, wasn't terribly good.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:35, Reply)
I've always thought he was a gigantic twat but there you go.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 10:40, Reply)
Evening all
I've just read that James Bond is retiring and 007 is now a black woman.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 22:38, Reply)
Careful now, Tim Simpleton'll be along in a minute to call you a sad arsehole for posting at antisocial hours.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 23:22, Reply)
you’re spending a lot of time thinking about me and posting about me you creepy saddo

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 5:43, Reply)
TIMMAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:05, Reply)
This news seems to have upset all the right people.
I mean, I Googled "James bond" and got a video of Ben Shapiro making an arse of himself. That'll do me.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 23:30, Reply)
In a wheelchair, vegan and muslim no doubt, and left handed, thanks the pc brigade

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 23:32, Reply)
What was that about left handed people?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 5:44, Reply)
worse than hitler

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 6:38, Reply)
Oh come on,
not all of them.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 7:17, Reply)
I am literally livid with apathy

(, Wed 17 Jul 2019, 9:53, Reply)
Afternoon, wanker's
Shit up a tree, it's a new thread from me.

My wife's got anemia. How does she smell? AWFUL!!!!

lol

Nah but yeah but that's a bit shit eh.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:12, Reply)
bit of steak and she'll be able to walk it off

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:15, Reply)
Strrrrrikkkeeeeyyyyyy-G!

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:49, Reply)
Not really, she'll just have to take iron supplements.
Or fuck a transformer.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:16, Reply)
not that shit, all she has to do is take an iron supplement
keywords: black poo
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:16, Reply)
Black poo, black poo
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when you see it in the loo?
Black poo, black poo
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when you see it in the loo?
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:23, Reply)
photograph it and post it on /links

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:26, Reply)
Not that keen on the blacks over there

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:57, Reply)
you're right
they're more into Go Outdoors
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 13:17, Reply)
haha, with that fat opera cunt with the wavy tache, I get this reference!
'Go outdoors, go outdoors'

oh man he's great!
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:29, Reply)
Give her a slab of raw bison liver and tell her Leo DiCaprio ate some in "The Revenant".

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:19, Reply)
I blame my mother's cooking for my childhood dislike of liver.
Cooked to the point of basically being leather, when a rare piece of liver is like meat-flavoured butter.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:33, Reply)
"meat-flavoured butter" sounds horrible, but I know what I mean.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:35, Reply)
In her defence, it's pretty easy to overcook compared to something like steak.
Liver and onions, though, with homemade chips...now there's lovely.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:50, Reply)
I like my liver with mash and onion gravy.
And bacon.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:35, Reply)
This is also an acceptable option.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:02, Reply)
Hungry, now.
Scoffing biscuits, to no avail.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:09, Reply)
Do her up the arse

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:24, Reply)
ok now what

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:11, Reply)
She's cured

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:28, Reply)
Yesssss

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 18:37, Reply)
Shouldn't worry, Rod Hull made a career out of having one of them

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:24, Reply)
What's got four legs and goes bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?

Rod Hull's TV.

Digital broadcasting has killed that joke, I'm glad he died when he did.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:31, Reply)
Drink more stout.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:32, Reply)
Guinness makes you fat and turns your shit black

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:58, Reply)
Ralph Fiennes drank buckets of the stuff to bulk up for his role in "Schindler's List".
Guinness, that is. Not shit.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:05, Reply)
Brownfall

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:07, Reply)
Inglourious ass turds

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:08, Reply)
Empire of the bum

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:10, Reply)
Das Booty

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:12, Reply)
Faeces Off

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:31, Reply)
That well-known ww2 film

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:33, Reply)
Fine. A Bridge Too Fart then
happy now?
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:44, Reply)
Dam Busturds?

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:44, Reply)
Bridge Over The River Kwee

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:45, Reply)
The Great Arse Cape

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:45, Reply)
The Eagle Has Landturd

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:46, Reply)
Goodbye Mr Shits

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 12:32, Reply)
Life is Poohtiful.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 13:46, Reply)
Battle of Shitain.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 13:46, Reply)
The Great Asscape

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:07, Reply)
dammit

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:07, Reply)
Tell her to stick on 'Fourty Six and Two'.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:33, Reply)
No u

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:54, Reply)
Iron tablets
They smell like bovril, too
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:34, Reply)
Iron Bru

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:35, Reply)
Should I get an iPhone?
My Samsung S10 is on its last legs, battery life is pants

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07JZVTM4P/ref=uk_a_phonex_2

It's Prime day, so this is pretty cheap, do you think?
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 13:21, Reply)
Put it this way:
A friend of mine who is a lifelong Apple brand sheep switched from iPhones to Android recently and the S10 was the model that made her switch.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 13:29, Reply)
Battery life on the XR is much better than any Samsung at the moment though
and the fucking android won't talk to any of the macs we've got in the house.

I dunno. I have liked my S7.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 13:31, Reply)
Ah, well, if you've already got a house full of Macs...
I think Samsung showed with the S7 that they'd learned their lesson from the S6. I had an S6 and it was packed with ridiculous wankery that Samsung copied off Apple because they thought it was cool: no removable battery, no SD card slot, you had to have a special key to change the SIM, etc.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 13:35, Reply)
Samsung are the worst for abandoning software updates once they've released a new model.
Same with their connected TV's
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:43, Reply)
I suppose that's why there are so many open-source ROMs out there.
My new phone should be arriving this weekend and I'm going to resist the urge to tinker with it straight out of the box for a change. Strikey-G, probably.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:12, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8229565
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 13:35, Reply)
Ha!

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 13:51, Reply)
iOS is fucking dire.
Worse than TouchWizz, or whatever the Samsung version of Android is called.





I might be biased after wasting an hour of my Sunday attempting to pair a BrailleTouch with an iPad and wanting to hurl both of them into a river.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:37, Reply)
Heh, I didn't know that was a thing.
That's pretty neat. Provided you can get it to work, obviously.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:42, Reply)
Gave up in the end, iOS just wouldn't play ball. Reckon my wife's iPad needs wiping, a reset and an update.
Blind people have my sympathy, though. Using an eyepad without eyes is a horrible experience; likewise, using a BrailleNote with eyes is also awful, as it's just a black box with 12 unlabeled, black buttons.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:02, Reply)

iPad skiddy ringpiece
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:12, Reply)
I'll give it a hard reset.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 16:20, Reply)
Unless you're doing vr or something flagships are a waste of time, just get a £150 moto g or something.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:41, Reply)
I used to do moto g, had a few one after another
and I'm not doing that any more. They're okay for maybe a year, then they become slow and shitty. This S7 is still good, even though it's getting on for 3 years old now. I can still get some money back for it and it's mainly the battery life and the fact that the headphone jack's a bit temperamental that's made me want to get a new phone.

After trade-in I'll be paying Β£550 for this iPhone and I'll get 3 years good use out of it, and it'll be worth something at the end of that.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:46, Reply)
It's bizarre that people will pay good money for 2nd hand iPhones.
Their batteries die just like any other, and getting them replaced is no fun.

Got 3 years out of my Moto G (G2), although I'll grant it was wheezing for the last 6 months. Still sees use as a music streamer and backup phone, though.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:09, Reply)
My G5 isn't going sluggish yet and that's 2 years old.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:10, Reply)
Yeah, I'm hoping that my boys' phones (G3 and E5) won't need replacing for some time.
Unless they manage to destroy them, of course.

Tell a lie, I had the G2 for four years. Quite good value for money, that.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 16:15, Reply)
Alright. Just listening to a bit of ESG

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:46, Reply)
Yeahh.... you're unbelievable!

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:47, Reply)
you're listening to a flavour enhancer commonly added to chinese food, canned vegetables, soups and processed meats?

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:57, Reply)
Extreme speed gabber?

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 14:59, Reply)
n
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCGdZnPzX8E
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:01, Reply)
I bet Queef likes this.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:03, Reply)
You are correct
They came out of retirement some years ago and opened for my chums Death in Vegas at Brixton. I nicked their drummer's towel out of their dressing room after the show and it was my bathmat for a few years.

#NoOneCaresm8
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:15, Reply)
I like Dead Elvis and The Contino Sessions.
Although I've probably not heard the latter in over 15 years 'cos I had it on a minidisc.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:44, Reply)
Back to basics as a 2-man electronic act these days, much more money in it
They had a fucking brass section and so on at one point, too many people to pay out of your live fee, it doesn't make sense. Tom Rowlands told me the Chemicals got $100,000 to open for David Bowie on the millennium NYE in New York. No band to pay, no awkward set up, fuck all gear to lug around...much more like it.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 16:41, Reply)
Sorry to hear that mate, done a quick google for you.

Anemia is a condition in which you don't have enough healthy red blood cells to carry adequate oxygen to the body's tissues. Having anemia may make you feel tired and weak. There are many forms of anemia, each with its own cause. Anemia can be temporary or long term, and it can range from mild to severe.

Anemia - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic

Hope that helps
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:19, Reply)
Thanks Doc!
She's had lifelong major blood issues so this latest thing isn't that big a deal for her. But if she ever has surgery she has to have transfusions first or she dinnae heal, it's a bit of a nightmare.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:28, Reply)
Best to keep away from surgeons if possible, bunch of pricks

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:56, Reply)
I know two people with haemochromatosis; maybe they could swap some blood or something.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:33, Reply)
Yeah that would probably work

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 15:55, Reply)
There's a job I'd like to go for, no more pay, but a better team and more interesting work
but they've got a temp in while they sort out the JD and .... she's really good. I like her, she seem to know her onions and if she got the job on a permanent basis it would make my work life easier where I am now.

So, have you had to change your mind about anything recently?
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 8:56, Reply)
no
hang on, yes

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:04, Reply)
here's a good one for you
I used to be indecisive ...


BUT NOW I'M NOT SO SURE !!!!!!!!!!!


jajajaja

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:10, Reply)
you can use that if you like
as long as you remember to credit me for it
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:10, Reply)
jajajaja
- tangledupinblue
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:08, Reply)
I can't work out whether this is brilliant, or really brilliant

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:16, Reply)
it's this sort of clever wordplay that keeps the /chat board fresh

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:20, Reply)
it certainly keeps me coming...
... back for more! lol
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:21, Reply)
hahaha cheeky
I like it
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:28, Reply)
finally some top quality content
*This* is what those Pact nonces were hoping for a slice of!
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:24, Reply)
my comedy is not for sale, I just do it for the love of it

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:29, Reply)
What is "the JD"?

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:16, Reply)
Jack Daniels, durrrr

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:18, Reply)
Don't mind if I do.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:19, Reply)
nothing, what's a JD with you!!

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:19, Reply)
jajajaja!

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:20, Reply)
Zach Braff's character from popular hospital sitcom "Scrubs" .

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:40, Reply)
Garden State y/n?

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:46, Reply)
I can vaguely remember watching and enjoying it, so y.
That was in my "enjoying boring films" phase, though. I've since lowered my attention span to the "Michael Bay" level.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 10:09, Reply)
Don't be so harsh on yourself: you've clearly held onto some taste if you thought 'Hereditary' was crap.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 10:14, Reply)
About the same as the Sports Direct

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 9:43, Reply)
Decided not to have breakfast
Which I had previously decided I would
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:00, Reply)
Whatever you eat will, by definition, be breakfast
whenever you eat it. You can't escape the breakfast.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:08, Reply)
unless she starves herself to death

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:14, Reply)
Not fucking likely

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 11:33, Reply)
Morning threads are cancelled!

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 6:54, Reply)
Good

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 6:55, Reply)
^supply teacher, we can all fuck abaht

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:01, Reply)
Fuck about with this
*gestures at crotch... where there's a pea-shooter and a sling... that sound ruder than it did in The Beano*
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:53, Reply)
Rats, sinking ship, insert Brexit joke here.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:01, Reply)
k

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:12, Reply)
Now these subthreads are REALLY special

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:13, Reply)
alright cheese cave johnson

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 8:19, Reply)
Signal failure?

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:28, Reply)
they died when the doveston died

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:31, Reply)
Bye bye miss american pie

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:39, Reply)


πŸ€–

πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦

πŸ’¦ πŸ’¦ πŸ’¦

πŸ‘‡πŸΏ πŸ’¦πŸ†πŸ’¦ πŸ‘‡πŸΏ

πŸ’¦ πŸ’¦

πŸ’¦ πŸ’¦

πŸ‘’ πŸ‘’

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:43, Reply)
Cor!

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:52, Reply)


β£πŸ€β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚πŸ‘‘β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚##|
πŸ‘†πŸΏβ€‚β€‚β€‚ πŸ‘΄πŸΏβ€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚-- it's a tuesday thing
β€‚β€‚πŸ›πŸ’€πŸ‘”πŸ›β€‚β€‚   |
β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚β›½β£β€‚β€‚πŸ‘‰πŸΏβ€‚β€‚β€‚|
β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚βš‘πŸ‘Ÿβ€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚|
β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚πŸŽΈβ€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚πŸŒ‚β€‚β€‚β€‚|
β€‚β€‚β€‚πŸ‘’β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚πŸ‘’β€‚β€‚|

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 8:41, Reply)
I shall then give you a heartfelt "urgh" instead

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:54, Reply)
Ce n'est pas un fil du matin.

(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 8:56, Reply)
Heevenin'.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 19:52, Reply)
Gout evening

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 20:01, Reply)
Looks Dutch.
Y'know...like that cheese...Gouta.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 20:04, Reply)
you’ve not got much going on have you, you’re on here 24/7, weird

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 20:26, Reply)
Only a slight exaggeration at the moment.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 20:29, Reply)
maybe if you tried to be both more interesting and fewer boring the internet might care a bit more here to help

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 20:35, Reply)
Weren't you banned last week?
What are you doing here?
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 20:37, Reply)
The mods must be crazy.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:09, Reply)

cr pathologically l
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:12, Reply)
no, why would I have been banned?

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 23:09, Reply)
complaining about how much someone posts
every time they post
seems a little hypocritical
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:25, Reply)
I think it's Yeti's comedy account.
That's the only explanation that makes any sense.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 22:38, Reply)
2meta4me
Also, wouldn't there have to be some comedy in it for that to be the case?
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 22:57, Reply)
‘every time’
k
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 23:14, Reply)
Hi.
I have about 20 minutes left of Hereditary, after dozing off watching it last night.
So far, the warnings given on here about it being not very good, have been proven right.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 20:26, Reply)
You lucky sausage: you've got the most ridiculous 20 minutes of the entire film left to go.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 20:30, Reply)
Gabriel Byrne just burst into flames.
So pleased he's finally been released from this silly film.



Ooh, and Toni Collette can fly, now.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:08, Reply)
Naked man in a cupboard, now.
Live blogging is the only way I'll get through this.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:14, Reply)
Wish I hadn't bothered.
What a load of twaddle.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:23, Reply)
Y'see?
They took some choice cuts of horror ideas and stewed the shite out of them in a couple of litres of bathos and incoherent nonsense, and this is the result.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:24, Reply)
All hail the pieman!
Incoherent doesn't do it justice.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:30, Reply)
In spite of everything, I have a soft spot for the sheer unashamed sloppiness of it all.
That bit where you see the girl in the school yard biting the head off a bird? In any other film that would be the setup for something darker, but here? Never referenced again.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:42, Reply)
I particularly liked the cut from the mum screaming in grief at the death of her daughter
to the mum screaming in grief at her daughters funeral, as if she'd been screaming for 3 days straight.
The son diving out of the window at the end wouldn't have looked out of place in a Sam Raimi film, too. Could have been a decent comedy.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:55, Reply)
Fun fact: Patrick Wilson screamed so hard during the filming of *that* scene in 'Hard Candy' that he physically fainted.
If I'd approached it as a comedy I might have got a decent laugh out of it.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 22:01, Reply)
Did he drop his monocle?

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 22:32, Reply)
There's another film that sounded like a good idea, but was just shit.
Assume he used all the screaming as prep for his role in Aquaman, where he does little else.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 22:46, Reply)
Alright smash, forget to logout again?

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:48, Reply)
He'

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:51, Reply)
Evening
Got out of work half an hour early. Go me!
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:02, Reply)
GET IN
Gin ahoy?
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 21:25, Reply)
Cider on weekdays
Gin at weekends
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 22:46, Reply)
#winning

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 22:38, Reply)
There's nothing to be ashamed about. Millions of Americans have gout.
You're not the only one by a long shot.
And here's the truly good news...

There is fully detailed the all-natural, rapid gout removal process in his guide "The Gout Code"

In this step-by-step system, you’ll be guided along the way to quick, efficient and most importantly – permanent – gout cure. 100% GUARANTEED!



Um. So, I should pose a question. Well, what's the best gout cure you know of?
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:21, Reply)
you don't have to pose a question

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:26, Reply)
Don't I?
Cheers
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:45, Reply)
Cheers

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 16:20, Reply)
Jermaine stewzzzz

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:47, Reply)
gout gout let it all out
these are the purine-rich foods I could do without
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:27, Reply)
you know you make me wanna gout

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:29, Reply)
You Can Gout Your Own Way

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:46, Reply)
Gout outta my dreams, gout into my car.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:50, Reply)
You do the hokey cokey and you turn around, that's what it's all a gout

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:51, Reply)
It's Gout to Beeeeeeeeeeee Painful

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 12:04, Reply)
aint talkin gout dub

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 12:55, Reply)
We Gotta Get Gout Of This Place

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:40, Reply)
I can’t live, if living is with gout you

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 16:19, Reply)


πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŽ©πŸŒ•πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸ‘πŸŒ‘πŸ‘πŸŒ“

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸ‘„πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŽ€πŸŒ“πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ”πŸ†πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•

πŸŒ•πŸ‘ πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸ‘ πŸŒ•πŸŒ•

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:28, Reply)
^underrated post

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 12:37, Reply)
This is an excellent arguement for suppressing emoji on this board.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:52, Reply)
fascist

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:55, Reply)
Guilty as charged.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:24, Reply)
first they came for the emojis and I did not speak out because I was not a small digital image or icon used to express an idea or emotion

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:48, Reply)
death

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:28, Reply)
chop ur knob off lol

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 11:46, Reply)
Lad I know lives on a diet of red wine and red meat.
To the surprise of no one, he got gout.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 12:30, Reply)
Did he also like jousting and having his wives' heads cut off?

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 12:40, Reply)
Oh, the fun we used to have when we were dissolving the monasteries!

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:14, Reply)
Terrible bullying of McBeef.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 12:47, Reply)
no gout here m8, I'm fit as a fackin fiddle


*dies*
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:48, Reply)
^gouty mcgoutface

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:02, Reply)
Gradually reduce the levels of uric acid in your bloodstream.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 12:55, Reply)
no, you're Rick acid in your bloostream

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:34, Reply)
Never gonna gout you up.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:35, Reply)
Welcome to the Goutel California

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:39, Reply)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Vienna!
by Midge Uric
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:40, Reply)
Pato Banton

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:51, Reply)
to gout her forever

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:40, Reply)
I was working in a clinical trial comparing gout treatments for the last fortnight.
So to answer your question, I'll tell you when the trial concludes and the results are published next year.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:41, Reply)
I think that a lot of Americans can't wait that long
lardy-arsed salad-dodgers.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:48, Reply)
The results of a recently-published study in the US and Mexico
suggested that febuxostat was associated with more cardiac deaths than allopurinol. However, there were a lot of drop-out from the trial, so the results aren't conclusive. Also, judging by the average weight of participants being a shade under 100kg, it's a wonder that more of the fat cunts didn't drop dead with exploded hearts.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:03, Reply)

he f
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:12, Reply)
I read something yesterday about people taking 2,4-dinitrophenol to lose weight, at the risk of fatal hyperthermia.

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:16, Reply)
(looked the stuff up and found a lovely review of the stuff in PubMed - which isn't 2CanChunder)
...the classic symptom complex associated with toxicity of phenol-based products such as DNP is a combination of hyperthermia, tachycardia, diaphoresis and tachypnoea, eventually leading to death. Fatalities related to exposure to DNP have been reported since the turn of the twentieth century. To date, there have been 62 published deaths in the medical literature attributed to DNP.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:30, Reply)
Sounds like a lovely way to go, eh?
My favourite piece of DNP trivia is "Chronic (long-term) oral exposure to 2,4-dinitrophenol in humans has resulted in the formation of cataracts and skin lesions, weight loss, and has caused effects on the bone marrow, central nervous system (CNS), and cardiovascular system.", so sez the EPA.
(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:34, Reply)
strikey i love oral boners

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:35, Reply)
LOL!

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:42, Reply)
Stop drinking bailey's

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:57, Reply)
never

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 13:59, Reply)
blargh

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 14:53, Reply)
She said stop, not start

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 17:39, Reply)
The prosecution rests, your honour

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 17:40, Reply)
Lol, rape

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 17:41, Reply)
u wot m8?

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 18:16, Reply)
"Jane Bond" more like!!!

(, Mon 15 Jul 2019, 19:05, Reply)

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