b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search

afternoon
I know why I'm a fucking wanker, but why are YOU a fucking wanker?

You fucking wanker.
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:30, Reply)
not telling you

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 17:14, Reply)
i wank a lot

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 18:11, Reply)
we know

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 18:13, Reply)
with a cheese grater

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 18:14, Reply)
we know

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 18:21, Reply)
a cheese grater is my pet name for your mum

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 18:22, Reply)
afternoon
I just ordered a book

www.theguardian.com/music/2020/oct/19/why-hawkwind-were-the-great-radicals-of-1970s-rock

are you a reader? or a feeder? or a dirty old paeder?
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 12:56, Reply)
playing your music in the sun

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 12:57, Reply)
I'm reading High-Rise at the moment.

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 13:01, Reply)
re-reading again, having read it WHEN YOU WERE ONLY TWO?

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 13:04, Reply)
no, first read of it.
I did read The Atrocity Exhibition when I was 4 though.
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 13:09, Reply)
'kin 'ell
I'm still working my way up to books without pictures
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 13:23, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 13:45, Reply)
I'm a raver, and a shaver, and a midnight bather

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 13:22, Reply)
no u neva

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 13:42, Reply)
I'm reading 'Night Film' at the moment and I've just had lunch
so I'm both a reader and a feeder. I'll leave the dirty old paeding to 70s TV presenters and disc jockeys.
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 13:52, Reply)
i know one of the band members of hawkwind
so shove that up your book binding
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 13:53, Reply)
Current lineup?

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 14:30, Reply)
nah course not
back in the day
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 18:12, Reply)
Yeah, well I went to university with a girl who went to school with the singer out of Irish metal band Kerbdog.
Beat that!
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:30, Reply)
shit pop singer Sandi Thom was a couple of years below me at school, BEAT THAT

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:38, Reply)
Yeah, well my mum went to the same school as Annie Lennox, about 10 years before though.
This should be the QOTW, might suggest it.
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:43, Reply)
our house master's wife was at school with Annie Lennox, BEAT THAT

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:47, Reply)
UH OH I can feel a 'Michael Gove' moment coming on

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:58, Reply)
I'm building up to it mate, no need to bring out the Gove just yet

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:23, Reply)
well I just went full Jamiroquai down there so the gloves are fuckin' off, yeah?

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:33, Reply)
Jack Dee went to my school
as did Colin Firth, whose parents my mothers knows - apparently they are really fucking dull BEAT THAT
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:58, Reply)
oh hang on I can BEAT THAT myself
one of my mum's best mates went out with 'folk punk' 'sensation' Frank Turner's dad for many years - until he decided to start living as a woman, oldest trans in the village lol
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:03, Reply)
I used to babysit for Heinz 'Great Egg Race' Wolff's grandchildren
They didn't have a TV BEAT THAT
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:05, Reply)
I'm basically an A list celebrity

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:10, Reply)
My great aunt went out with Michael Heseltine in the 50's
Oh, and I used to work with a woman who met Hitler when she was a little girl. There's a famous photo of her handing him a bunch of flowers. Risky shit for a little jewish kid.
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:14, Reply)
ooh not bad!
my mate's mum went out with Rick Wright of Pink Floyd at college in the 60s, and my mum's mate (same one above with the trans boyfriend) told me Keith Moon went to her 16th birthday party BEAT THAT
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:18, Reply)
This is probably common knowledge by now, but I once had a shit in the bass player from Darts' grandmothers bog
BEAT THAT
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:19, Reply)
my brother project-managed the installation of Jay 'Jamiroquai' Kay's kitchen
apparently he is a 'fucking knob' which is hardly news - but my bro's principal objection was that he never shared his joints with him BEAT THAT
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:26, Reply)
i like early hawkwind and feel they get a bad press

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:01, Reply)
I love Lemmy-era Hawkwind, I quite like Calvert's punky late 70s stuff, I hate the Moorcock Chronicles stuff
they were back on form in the late 80s but then went seriously off the boil until about 5 years ago when new blood reinvigorated them....now they've gone off the boil again but I will always love them and when Brock finally croaks (which may well not be too long now) I will be really fucking sad.

#hawkwindchat
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:24, Reply)
i'm not super familiar with them past the late 70s, it never appealed to me and so i didn't bother with the new stuff at all

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:28, Reply)
they haven't made any remarkable records since the early 80s, but as a live band they've still been great on and off

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 16:01, Reply)
The rise of the idiots
I rate that easily the best thing I ever read
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:46, Reply)
nice glass of Dutch wine?

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 15:47, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 7:25, Reply)
Morning

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 7:45, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 8:03, Reply)
aye

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 7:57, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 8:03, Reply)
if you insist

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 7:58, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 8:03, Reply)
that time again

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 8:06, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 8:24, Reply)
Yes

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 8:08, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 8:25, Reply)
indeed

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 8:41, Reply)
Lol blanked

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 12:25, Reply)
^ upset

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 12:50, Reply)
Bleers

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 12:50, Reply)
and mister speaker, I say this to the right honourable gentleman, morning

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 9:30, Reply)
only 66 days till christmas

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 10:38, Reply)
It's cancelled

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 10:48, Reply)
Thanks, Sleepy Joe!

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 10:51, Reply)
Communism has finally won

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 10:55, Reply)
oh shit what am I going to do with all this figgy pudding?

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 10:51, Reply)
Prematurely festive soup kitchen

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 10:56, Reply)
#infezzzzz

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 10:59, Reply)
is it worth picking up a Wii U?

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 11:25, Reply)
only if you promise to use it to smash your stupid face in

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 11:49, Reply)
that's exactly why I want one

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 11:52, Reply)

is it worth dozer ponders buying console,
(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 11:55, Reply)
Turtle power!

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 12:00, Reply)
GOSH WELL DONE M8

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 12:16, Reply)
I'm quick off the bat!!!

(, Tue 20 Oct 2020, 12:54, Reply)
i dunno some shite or something about pubs

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 20:28, Reply)
Gyms are the new pubs.

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 20:42, Reply)
are they?
fair enough i'll have a double bench press
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 20:48, Reply)
Fuck pubs

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 20:48, Reply)
Anyone done a Muckbang?

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 14:55, Reply)
FOoOOoOoOOoOOooOOOoooOOoD

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 14:59, Reply)
God damn I love food

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:10, Reply)
no
the idea of strangers watching me eat vast quantities of food is disturbing
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:06, Reply)
You know you just want to be this guy, in a future you
www.youtube.com/results?search_query=nikocado+avocado
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:11, Reply)
eeeewww
i love hot food, but look at the ugly fucker! i don't even think HE wants to be him in the future
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:13, Reply)
You should check out the ' youtube commentary ' pages on this guy, they've all talked about him, he even has an OnylFans.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAgvczdhsqI
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:35, Reply)
that's a hard pass

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:42, Reply)
He's SUTSH an ATENCHON SEEKER

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:32, Reply)

Based on this article, his subscribers are paying to watch him have an actual IRL nervous breakdown.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:57, Reply)
It's true.

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:33, Reply)

frinkiac.com/img/S04E08/1068099.jpg
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:50, Reply)
I shudder to imagine what horrors you would shovel down yr alimentary canal

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:07, Reply)
Sushi !!!!

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:11, Reply)
i have a lobster defrosting for dinner

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:18, Reply)
One door always says the truth, one door always lies.
What's the answer? Is @SmashMonkey having #Lobster for dinner?
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:36, Reply)
yep
only a cheap one from lidl, but i've been craving it for weeks and they've finally got the christmas "luxury items" in stock
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:42, Reply)
Oh nice ! I hope you enjoy. Photos please, post them to your FB and tag me in.
That's if we're on FB M8z, I can't remember if we're FB M8s or not from your username.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:30, Reply)
yes we are

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:37, Reply)
No, it's a giant FIB
she's said before she can only eat roadkill and no lobster has ever gone under the wheels of her pickup truck.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:13, Reply)
i don't have a truck
i can't drive
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:30, Reply)
but apart from that it's pretty plausible, huh?

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:33, Reply)
i don't really think we have many tasty animals in this country that could be easily squished by a car

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:38, Reply)
pheasants are unlikely to survive a car hitting them
deer also

but yeah that's not many
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 18:08, Reply)
You sound like you've never taken a Range Rover to Windsor Safari Park.

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 18:42, Reply)
I haven't

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 20:47, Reply)
I thought google had everything on it.
Guess I guessed wrong.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:31, Reply)
Might have to if the market collapses.
It's a funny old world where your main source of income can be showing your tits and/or eating dinner on the internet.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:38, Reply)
Do you have an OnlyFans or Patreon that I could subscribe too?

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:40, Reply)
I watch so much YouTube that I often think I've missed the boat on the whole thing.
You see all these people who film themselves tinkering around with their favourite hobby and putting it on the internet, and then you find out they make half a million quid a month doing it.

Some of them are lovely people and I wish them every success (and some of them are twats and wastes of space). It just all seems a little...easy.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:47, Reply)
Do you have any Dollar Shave Club or Raycon or RAID SHADOW LEGENDS on your Subs?
Because they're big payers.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:34, Reply)
Lol
It's both funny and sad to watch serious, talented content creators hoe themselves out to RAID SHADOW LEGENDS. Especially when it has absolutely nothing to do with their channel.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:49, Reply)

 
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 17:31, Reply)
we've all done it

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:47, Reply)
For a very large fee I will eat titties on the internet. You can request a private Betamax recording on my onlyfans page. I am hideous and very frightening.

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:06, Reply)
Well I'm sold.

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 17:09, Reply)
Sorry, 'soiled'

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 17:09, Reply)
afternoon

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 12:38, Reply)
i've got a bit of a headache

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 12:43, Reply)
hope it's not a glioblastoma!

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 13:39, Reply)
Would you like some morphine, methadone, co-odimol and a tin of Monster (or similar drink) ?
Because that's normally what I take when I have a headache, or when I wake up; whatever works.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:38, Reply)
Why do you have methadone? That’s an odd choice of painkiller.

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 16:23, Reply)
make up your mind

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 12:44, Reply)
meh
fucking Virgin broadband being shit again has cost me a time-critical 90mins
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 13:00, Reply)
can't you get one of those 4g thingies for emergency use?
or do you need proper download speeds?
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 13:08, Reply)
might have to if this keeps happening

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 13:15, Reply)
Get a PAYG one, not expensive if you're not downloading much

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 13:52, Reply)
A car smashed into my local GreenBox thinggy, and it took them almost 3 weeks to replace it.
And I ended up running up £120 on my datacharges using my phone as a hotspot.... this month.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:39, Reply)
afternoon

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 14:40, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 7:42, Reply)
Morning
I’m back in London nahhhhh innit cor blimey guvner
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 7:45, Reply)
stroike a loight Maori Pappins!

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:20, Reply)
The neighbours are taking the kids to school
the little boy is throwing a proper tantrum outside the car. I am SOOOOOO glad I don't have kids, from here it's all quite funny!
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:39, Reply)
I am one lucky fellow
I can honestly say my kid has never thrown a tantrum with me, she's never been rude or unpleasant, not once. The worst she's been is a bit vague/not paying attention. Of course given that she's about to become a teenager this will most likely all change but I've had an amazing run.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:55, Reply)
My niece is doing the whole sullen teenager thing now
but she is still susceptible to idiocy and I can raise a laugh from her. Her brother wiped the floor with me in both connect 4 and chess. Little shit.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 9:17, Reply)
morning
Good weekend, was it? How's the missus?
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 7:49, Reply)
morning
Superb weekend ta, brisket smoke on Saturday and chicken and bacon pie yesterday, jr made a chocolate torte. I gave her a new Switch game which she's mad on (Astral Chain). Wife's OK thanks.

How about you, good one?
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:23, Reply)
Nice one, that is some serious weekending.
I saw a recipe online this morning for salted caramel apple pie with a bacon fat crust, which looked enough to get even me into the kitchen.

Other than that I spent the weekend watching Western civilisation fall apart, with one friend resigning because she couldn't hack her managers any more and another friend being fired because he couldn't do the work of two people. Ten years from now we're going to look back on this whole pandemic and laugh...maybe.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:42, Reply)
it really is The Year Everything Went to Shit, eh

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:56, Reply)
I think I'd rather have zombies roaming the streets at this point.

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 9:00, Reply)
It's 2020. They would be shit zombies
one thing nobody ever mentions in zombie films is the smell. If we really had zombies I think we'd all just shoot ourselves from the awful stench.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 9:19, Reply)
Shit zombies are the best zombies though.
I want something that's barely able to shuffle forwards and is really easy to avoid. '28 Days Later' Usain Bolt zombies can fuck off.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 9:32, Reply)

Dawn of the dead remake had running zombies too
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 11:24, Reply)
Yeah well I don't want them either

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 11:29, Reply)
Ironic, given that Hack Snyder does everything else in fucking slow-mo.

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 11:29, Reply)
Freezers are the answer. I wonder why the mall in DOTD still had power
if the country was overrun you'd think all the power stations would be too

I think the Super Duper Mart is a more accurate post apocalyptic shopping experience
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 11:26, Reply)
one of the characters mentions this
and says the power must be nuclear
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 14:42, Reply)
Oh yeah, nuclear power stations don't need staff

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:18, Reply)
hey, i'm just giving you the film's explanation

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 15:32, Reply)


(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:01, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:23, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:30, Reply)
morning
just posted a bad joke on qotw, I'll probably be banned in six months.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:58, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 8:59, Reply)
yes?

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 9:30, Reply)
hullo broad-o

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 9:45, Reply)
bit chilly today

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 9:31, Reply)

t g
ch w

lol
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 9:46, Reply)
Morning

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 11:24, Reply)
hullo

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 11:34, Reply)
Good evening.

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 19:31, Reply)
Unacceptable

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 19:34, Reply)
evening, morning

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 20:27, Reply)

I wish I knew who everyone was.
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 20:30, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8281079
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 21:26, Reply)

Give me your passport number flesh puppet.
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 23:21, Reply)
Keep going, dozer is nearly there

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 0:03, Reply)
#larvalstage #infest

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 3:12, Reply)
Baldmonkey, apparently

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 2:02, Reply)
Evening
Watching Top Gear. I want a Lamgorghini urus.
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 20:40, Reply)
my boss drives a Maserati Ghibli, it's 'alright'

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 21:18, Reply)
Out on the road today I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 2:03, Reply)

boss neighbour Totoro
(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 6:46, Reply)
Evening

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 20:49, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 0:04, Reply)


(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 8:08, Reply)
g'day

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 8:13, Reply)
morning, morning

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 8:27, Reply)
morning, cheers

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 9:16, Reply)
Cheers morning morning Cheers

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 19:22, Reply)
morning

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 8:56, Reply)
^

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 9:16, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8281578
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 19:23, Reply)
Alright now fellers, what’s cooler than being cool?

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 9:54, Reply)
My snazzy new neck warmer.
It's so cool it's comfortably warm!
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 12:43, Reply)
Morning

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 10:01, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8281587
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 19:24, Reply)
Morning.

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 10:12, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8281588
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 19:24, Reply)

youtu.be/vJ9aT-Wa_tE
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 23:30, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRjcdagNKPY
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 1:38, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nGzQAzgn7E
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 15:23, Reply)
in my experience gabba rooms in clubs always had like, one person in them
was that you?
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 15:52, Reply)
I missed the first wave of gabber, so unlikely.
Breakcore was more my scene.
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 19:21, Reply)
2 hour long hike in the wood with their 4 dogs and my dog, between the 3 of us.
I’m so fat and sweaty and muddy.

But enough about me, what you up too this afternoon?
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 15:35, Reply)
Yeah I'm up this afternoon too.
Did you get your login fixed?
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 15:50, Reply)
Nah', but a mod did PM me, but they hasn't replied to my reply yet.
It's only been a day.

I might PM them to see if they can reset my password to something that I can reset later on, or do my email or whatever
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 23:21, Reply)
My bad, they did reply, we're sorting it out now.
I was tired and missed it
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 23:23, Reply)
Please ask about the mongychop’s indefinite naughty step fiasco while you’re there, he’s suffered enough, Gonz

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 19:26, Reply)
No he hasn't.

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 19:28, Reply)
If he hasn’t, then he has. Trust me on this one

(, Mon 19 Oct 2020, 2:17, Reply)
trying to stop the kids poking at my head
and asking if it hurts
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 16:09, Reply)
my dad used to say
'well if you think it'll hurt me why are you doing it?'
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 16:58, Reply)
obv i just said cos i'm fucking Hitler

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:00, Reply)
they're doing it because i've got a black eye and a swollen head
fucking sleepwalking strikes again
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:08, Reply)
does that happen alot?

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:19, Reply)
the sleepwalking happens on average 3 times a week.
i don't always injure myself, but i've done myself some serious damage in the past, such as tearing my leg open on the corner of a glass coffee tab le, losing a pint of blood and needing 6 stitches and 4 months recovery time. did another just before christmas, that was 4 stitches and 2 months with ulcerated legs
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:23, Reply)
is sleepwalking a thing nobody can help with?

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:25, Reply)
nope, no cure
i've been to the sleep lab, had half a ton of equipment strapped to my back and told to "sleep normally". all they could tell me is that i'm definitely a sleepwalker. i get pretty high dosage of sedatives, but they don't help, they just get me to sleep easier
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:30, Reply)
can't you have a lid fitted over the bed?

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:33, Reply)
bit claustrophobic
i already get accused of being a goth, it'd look like i was sleeping in a coffin. i've got a bed bar, i tied myself to it once. almost dislocated my shoulder.
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:37, Reply)
whilst tying it or attempting to sleepwalk?
if it's the first one you might just be very bad at knots
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:51, Reply)
Whilst trying to sleepwalk

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 18:17, Reply)

If I had half a ton of equipment strapped to my back, I think I'd struggle to sleepwalk.
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 23:28, Reply)
Bungee cord tied to the bed

(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 0:18, Reply)
are you the real old gonzo
or someone channelling him?
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 16:09, Reply)
real gonzo
already checked and had proof
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 16:35, Reply)
are you a licensed rabbi?

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 16:51, Reply)
+t

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 16:51, Reply)
yes to both

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 16:57, Reply)
what's up, doc?

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:08, Reply)
can't actually remember anything bugs bunny used to do
apart from eat carrots
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:20, Reply)
and forget to take the left turn at alberquerque

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:24, Reply)
well, er, of course

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:26, Reply)
Bullying of elmer

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 19:15, Reply)
I forgot adding letters onto post, Hashtag FunTimes

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 23:25, Reply)
still ver popular
-Fn +bm
(, Sun 18 Oct 2020, 1:18, Reply)
And why should I trust you?

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:06, Reply)
why wouldn't you trust me, a fellow b3tan?

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:15, Reply)
you don't have to but i'm not to blame for your paranoid outlook on life
not everyone is out to trick you
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 17:17, Reply)
'tis me :)

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 23:24, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 6:42, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 7:37, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 7:50, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 10:55, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:39, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:47, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 10:56, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 10:48, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 10:55, Reply)
Morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 7:58, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 8:38, Reply)
Bloody nippy this morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 8:53, Reply)
are you live from the lobster farm

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:25, Reply)
I wish
Lobster is delicious
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:27, Reply)
went to a chinese wedding once
and the chinks were trying to convince me to eat the lobster's eyes as they were 'the best bit'. when they finally reaslied i wasn't falling for it they all burst out laughing.
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:32, Reply)
They're tiny
Lobster's eyes aren't that big, either
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:37, Reply)
yeah but they make up for it by their large numbers
chinese i mean, not lobster eyes. god can you imagine a lobster with a thousand eyes? fucking terrifeyeing
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:39, Reply)
Sounds like something out of Jason in the Argos shorts.

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:04, Reply)
that made me do a larf

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:40, Reply)
I need to buy a lobster now

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:13, Reply)
buy a live one and release it to the sea for the feel good vibes

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:40, Reply)
I like chewing down on a proper sized prawn head & eating the gunk that comes out
Especially dipping a chip inside the gunk.

True story.
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:31, Reply)
LIES!!!

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:37, Reply)
Troof

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 12:21, Reply)
you're a monster

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 14:31, Reply)
Only need to hear the first quote, don’t bother Witt the rest. Probs maleware
m.youtube.com/watch?v=r_0JjYUe5jo
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 15:32, Reply)
They've invented kosher prawns now.

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:40, Reply)
i don't even know what kosher is
even tho my penis is jewish and i have some kosher salt
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:41, Reply)
They do. It’s made out of that crabsticks stuff
But I like the real deal.
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 15:29, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:47, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 10:48, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:18, Reply)
morbibf

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:24, Reply)
heh

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:31, Reply)
sorry.sleepy laptop left handed typing
couldn't be buggered to correct
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:33, Reply)
I thought it was a riff on that 'fomment' thing from yesterday.

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:57, Reply)
oh yeah, it was...
i'm clever like that
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:59, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:47, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 9:59, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 10:49, Reply)
morning broady
export a playlist of your good taste in music for me one day xxx
(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 11:39, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 10:48, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 13:06, Reply)
Cheers

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 14:28, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 13:08, Reply)
mooning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 14:27, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 14:10, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 17 Oct 2020, 14:27, Reply)
delete this please

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 15:27, Reply)
Done

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 16:19, Reply)
cheers

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 16:20, Reply)
sometimes when i need a poo i hold it in on purpose
am i gay?
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:17, Reply)
yes

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:25, Reply)
fancy a quickie?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:27, Reply)
a quickie poo?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 19:22, Reply)
i always have quickie poos
my brother needs 20 minutes to poo and a newspaper, i'm in and out in 30 seconds and only get to read a paragraph of a book a time
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 19:24, Reply)
I have to read Facebook AND Instagram while I'm having a dump.

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 19:25, Reply)
have you tried brown bread?
i'm fb free for like, 5 years. feels gud
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 19:26, Reply)
I might get some tinned prunes.

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 19:38, Reply)
i bought a packet of sugared dates about 2 years ago
still got them, but they're way out of date
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 19:41, Reply)
Dispatch the national guard to put those mancs and scousers in their place

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 16:34, Reply)
the only place for scousers to be is in jail

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 16:51, Reply)
We wouldn't have all this unruliness if hitler had won
in fact he'd probably have ethnic cleansed asia out of existence in the 50s, so bat flu wouldn't even be a thing
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 17:53, Reply)
And the north of england

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 17:53, Reply)
i've let you all down and i'm very sorry

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:03, Reply)
I've seen a few people on fb asking for the army to be on the streets ,

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 17:03, Reply)
whose army do they want?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:02, Reply)
Army Winehouse

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:04, Reply)
back to manc
you filthy animals
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:06, Reply)
I'm sure lil kim could spare a million or so soldiers
assuming they're trained to do more than march around in fancy formations and slavishly worship the god emperor
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:11, Reply)
i for one welcome our new north korean overlords

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:13, Reply)
Their TV news looks more entertaining than ours

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:15, Reply)
link me up you shlag

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:16, Reply)

youtu.be/w7J2Nnl7Ano
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:27, Reply)
cheers babe
i'll get back to you when i've been programmed
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:30, Reply)
take it or leave it if i'm honest with you
i wonder if the news bloopers are just the anchor's family members being shot
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:32, Reply)
A bit of light relief at the end after all that glorifying

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:37, Reply)
do you think kim gets bored with being glorified?
do you think he's got like, a personal fuck you twat man? obviously locked away, but just someone he can go to every now and again and get told to fuck off and suck a dick
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:40, Reply)
Sure, you need the rain to appreciate the sunshine

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 19:19, Reply)
be a brave man to piss on his parade tho

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 19:19, Reply)

i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/874/206/d8f.png
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 17:26, Reply)
:D

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 17:49, Reply)
is that a period bananarama?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:15, Reply)
The OG ghetto blasters

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:25, Reply)
So... that was fun

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 11:47, Reply)
lies make baby jesus cry

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 12:08, Reply)
What, in the past?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 12:40, Reply)
afternoon

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 12:14, Reply)
I'm mulling a cup of tea
should I? There is cake here...
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 12:47, Reply)
What colour is it

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 12:50, Reply)
Brown with dried-fruity lumps
squidgy bits of apple too
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 12:55, Reply)
I'm no expert but that sounds like rubbish tea

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 13:08, Reply)
You are right
that sounds awful. I've made coffee.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 13:38, Reply)
butter coffee or regular?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:04, Reply)
Sounds like one of my shits

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 13:10, Reply)
Which one?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 15:52, Reply)
The one on the left

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 16:03, Reply)
You’re right not to name them, it only makes them harder to flush them

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:15, Reply)
mulled tea?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 12:58, Reply)
Mull of Kinteaer

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 13:09, Reply)
mull tea old dough

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 13:25, Reply)
The fun police called.
They said "No it wasn't."
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 13:01, Reply)
The rozzers have an odd idea of what's fun
and what isn't.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 13:44, Reply)
Fair comment.

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 13:47, Reply)
fomment

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 14:24, Reply)
fike, fubscfibe

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 15:06, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 13:05, Reply)
fuck off hitler

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 14:23, Reply)
yes?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 14:29, Reply)
dunno i just felt the urge to say it for some reason

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 14:34, Reply)
Well... I may be going back to London
Wales is talking about brining in a big ol' lockdown on Monday so I think I may sneak back over the border on Sunday. I'm gonna miss things around here... It's very pretty.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 14:21, Reply)
but i don't live in wales

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 14:23, Reply)
Make sure you self isolate when you get back
don't want any of those nasty foreign viruses in england, and rabies
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 15:48, Reply)
wtf queef u ignorant cunt
2.0 after i saved you posting ur irl name all over b3ta yesterday, ur a prize prick m8.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:02, Reply)
i mite send bou ur name and that cunt'll come and smash your front door down and move itself in

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:04, Reply)
so. you've finally stooped to blackmail eh

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:13, Reply)
it's actually more fun talking to myself anyway
so fuck it
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:13, Reply)
are authors really doing anything else
really?
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:31, Reply)
well sort of
although most of the things you've written thus far haven't been set up as a back and forth conversation, but maybe that's an idea
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:32, Reply)
yeah.
maybe it's a shit idea.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:32, Reply)
there you go again
always putting me down
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:32, Reply)
fuck this i'm going out

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:33, Reply)
I doubt that.

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:46, Reply)
gotta fit a starter motor today
i might do it in the bathroom tho. probably easier.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:49, Reply)
morning hitler, I might have some toast

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:15, Reply)
good idea
with jam or spam or marmalade or marmite or a varmit?
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:17, Reply)
morning hitler, I’d rather see a ghost

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:15, Reply)
well here i am, i'm dead, your host!

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:19, Reply)
morning hitler, you're great, i'd like to boast

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:16, Reply)
careful or you'll get a roast

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:19, Reply)
morning hitler, do you live on the coast?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:17, Reply)
i've actually lived on coasts the most!

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:18, Reply)
morning hitler, do you really need to post?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:18, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8281364
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:19, Reply)
^

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:21, Reply)
sorry i'm not as entertaining as you
"just dun a poo"
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:25, Reply)
lol that's pretty funny.
poo lol
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:28, Reply)
fuck off hitler

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:28, Reply)
self fulfilling prophecy
b3ta.com/talk/8281379
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:22, Reply)
not gunna argue with you
Cheers
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:26, Reply)
meant you roasting me was fulfilling the prophecy, you see
Cheers
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:27, Reply)
It’s all good
Better do some work. Two projects etc
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:28, Reply)
aww. have a nice day
Cheers
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:29, Reply)
Drinking in the morning now, are we, Hitler?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:38, Reply)
i'm not always drunk
sometimes i'm on drugs.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 9:44, Reply)
I told you why m8
It's genuinely nothing personal - coming on here first thing in the morning and seeing the night before's insanity does my fucking head in.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:02, Reply)
maybe you should consider not using an internet messageboard if you find it so grating
if you were here 15 years ago you'd have had a breakdown. online.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:08, Reply)
I was.

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:13, Reply)
well so was i so we have that in common
let's have sex
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:14, Reply)
ok sure

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:15, Reply)
ok you'll have to show me what to do
i don't think i can remember. which one of us blows cigarette smoke in the other's face?
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:18, Reply)
at least if you're going to 2.0
don't be a twat and start threads
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:13, Reply)
it just makes people revenge punch top level posts
and the board goes a bit shit. well, it used to when there was more than five people here. remember all that nonsense? all the fucking nutjobs it was hard work
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:16, Reply)
are you talking to me or him?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:21, Reply)
hahaha nice one

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 11:45, Reply)
it's all very upsetting

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:32, Reply)
it's affected me truly madly and deeply
i mite kick a badger if i can find one. actually better make that a rabbit or something
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 10:36, Reply)
You're missing nothing fun or interesting.
He'll even keep talking to you while using 2.0, because on top of being an idiot he's also fucking creepy.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 14:04, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8281412
(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 14:54, Reply)
I can barely cope without ablooblooing repeatedly.

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:26, Reply)
well now that's not very nice. is it?

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:01, Reply)
No and it's a racist cunt too.

(, Fri 16 Oct 2020, 18:25, Reply)

Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search