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codswallop

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:34, Reply)
haddockspunch

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:49, Reply)
BOLLOCKS

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:52, Reply)
codsbollocks

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:53, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 20:14, Reply)
kinda

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 20:33, Reply)
^ GAY ^

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 22:34, Reply)
Wallops cod?
Fish toucher
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 21:11, Reply)
It refers to soft roe, the "wallop" part obviously meaning the semen load milked from male cod, fried, and eaten
The hard roe, from female cod, is referred to as "poppycock", because it resembles poppy seeds up close, and looks like a cock while it's being extruded.
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 21:24, Reply)
Haha brilliant!

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 21:26, Reply)
bollockscock

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 21:28, Reply)
Balderdash

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 23:42, Reply)
afternoon gooch huffers
It’s cold and I’ve had to put a jumper on.
What have you put on? You can’t say ‘the Ritz’
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 12:12, Reply)
Airs and graces.

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 12:32, Reply)
🎩

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 12:34, Reply)

pubic h+
gr fae
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:27, Reply)
My poor wife

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:03, Reply)
alright Les Dawson

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:35, Reply)
My dad hired a caravan for a holiday when I was very young.
I remember thinking at the time that the man running the place was that man off the telly, i.e. Les Dawson. I suppose he must have looked a bit like him. It wasn't until years later that I worked out it was probably someone else.
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 14:37, Reply)
Also, I was sure that the woman who sang "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" was my primary 1 teacher.
Didn't think to question it until years later.
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:00, Reply)
Could of been leading a double life.

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:30, Reply)
Could've

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:39, Reply)
Thanks
always get that wrong.
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:54, Reply)
Think of it this way: imagine it's you, and it's true.
He could have been leading a double life
I could have [could've] been leading a double life
I have been leading a double life

Conversely:
He could of been leading a double life
I could of been leading a double life
I of been leading a double life
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:25, Reply)
You're wearing her as a hat?

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 18:26, Reply)
'it'
you know, like Big L
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWMjRMJ0dTI
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:29, Reply)
Word

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:36, Reply)
My pants.
Not someone else's pants. Mine. I checked.
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:51, Reply)
Did they have your name sewn in?

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 14:01, Reply)
I bet they're not checked.
I bet they're red with polka dots.
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:24, Reply)
PODKA

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:47, Reply)
Podka Coke, no less.

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 18:42, Reply)
About 3 inches to my head

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:51, Reply)
Oops

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 14:02, Reply)
How many inches head were you giving before the increase?

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:26, Reply)
Not many
Strong gag reflex and sharp teeth
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 23:43, Reply)
a record

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:31, Reply)
a hoodie.
Leaving work as soon as my laptop shuts down.
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:46, Reply)
A condom. As they say in the Boy Scouts, 'be prepared'

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:25, Reply)
Are we...are we the baddies?

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:33, Reply)
Thinking of rearranging the deck chairs, on the Titanic

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:33, Reply)
exciting.
Will the band provide a little rearranging music?
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:51, Reply)
The hits of N*Sink.

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:57, Reply)
Ok didnt mean to set that up
but I like a good pun
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:10, Reply)
It was a fucking awful pun, Will

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:40, Reply)
Yeah.

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:54, Reply)
+ Vanilla Ice

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:30, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 5:35, Reply)
morning misery

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:02, Reply)
morning invisibly

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:03, Reply)
Morning
I've really got to stop doing all nighters
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:45, Reply)
on the gear again eh?

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:59, Reply)
I are jelly
Been ages since I got on the razzle dazzle …
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 9:35, Reply)
mǒrning

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:13, Reply)
Yo, háček yourself before you wřeck yourself.
/ac
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 10:03, Reply)
Yes?

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:46, Reply)
just missed you is all

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:50, Reply)
Apparently The Goat has forgotten about /talk, sad times

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:59, Reply)
-talk +dre

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 8:08, Reply)
-dre +Dave

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 9:44, Reply)
Hi

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 11:31, Reply)
,Trouser

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 12:39, Reply)
Morning

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 8:12, Reply)
Morning
Met up with the guys from the disbanded band yesterday as the drummer was in the UK. Had a jolly fun jamming afternoon and a couple of pints after.
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 9:36, Reply)
Which band?
My friend from schools son is in a band stupidly called "cereal sauce"
So called cos the lead singer is lactose intolerant
I told her it was a stupid name
She wasn't amused. Hasn't spoken to me since
I really think I have no social graces
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 18:36, Reply)
Presley Gerber, Cindy Crawford's son, dies aged 27.
Richard Gere strikes again.
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 10:48, Reply)
Evening

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:00, Reply)
hello

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:04, Reply)
hello

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:09, Reply)
Evening

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:10, Reply)
bedtime for me

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:34, Reply)
night

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:37, Reply)
see you on the flip

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:40, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 1:38, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 5:35, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:12, Reply)
hello

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:10, Reply)
tell my wife hello

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:01, Reply)
Evening

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:07, Reply)
I cannot spoil such a majestic chevron

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:15, Reply)
hello?
MiseryCunt has dun a shit on it now
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:31, Reply)
i just want to watch the world burn

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:41, Reply)
Not just a clever name then

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:43, Reply)
and fuck up a chevron

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:50, Reply)
You should fuck that cunt up
Show that you won't be put upon in this manner
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:01, Reply)
i probably will but he's tired now

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:19, Reply)
i am please leave a message with my secretary

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:22, Reply)
I like to think that thousands of years in the future researchers will look at this and say, look at this

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:35, Reply)
and when they do eyes will finally be opened

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:58, Reply)
WITH A CHISEL

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:01, Reply)
look at this, they'll say, then argggg

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:19, Reply)
Hi

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:03, Reply)
Hi

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:03, Reply)
G'day japper's
I hope this find's you well
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:02, Reply)
Looking at flights out of here

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:13, Reply)
Already?

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:49, Reply)
I have to book

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 19:22, Reply)
thomas cook

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:02, Reply)
Not if I find you well first.

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:14, Reply)
It finds me de-smegging my extensive dildo collection, as it happens.

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:17, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8485985
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:03, Reply)
Bit of a sair heid

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:18, Reply)
Few too many halves of shandy last night?

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:44, Reply)
Yeah. Was DJing with my acid house pal for 6 hours.
We get paid in drinks and food, was steady away for the DJing, it was the two more pints at a different bar that's given me the hangover.

Great fun though, the bar got pretty busy and the punters were enjoying it.

Sneaked in a Marcus Intalex record early doors.
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
Can't believe I missed the opportunity to write "Burnt Cobain" in the dead pop stars pun thread. :(

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:46, Reply)
Krisped Novoselic

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 15:23, Reply)
Grave Grohl

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 15:27, Reply)
Yeah but he wouldn't have counted because he actually is dead.

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 15:58, Reply)
Do a Pat Smear pun mate, you've ruined the sub-thread

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 16:43, Reply)
So's Bowie, and someone did a Bowie pun.

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:14, Reply)
No I fucking didn’t

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:50, Reply)
Mortney Love

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 17:42, Reply)
High queefs, I saw Volodymyr Zelenskyy earlier near Tesco's in Sunbury
Prob popping in for a meal deal I reckon
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 16:10, Reply)
Was he buying aint-no-chicken Kyivs?

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:44, Reply)
I'm losing my mind
Trying to cope with a very unhappy toddler who wants her dad. He's filming and we can't get hold of him, which she doesn't understand.
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 16:39, Reply)
is it a porn film?

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:05, Reply)
no
his moist exterior is congealing
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:35, Reply)
I mean, that sounds a bit like a porn film

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 20:43, Reply)
Dear Queef,
I’ve had a nice chill day and am now making a lasagna.

Regard’s,
Cheers
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 17:39, Reply)
i just made smashed burgers and they were delicious.

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 21:18, Reply)
Does that mean you smashed up a ready-made burger?

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:08, Reply)
no i ground steak with my trusty kmix

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:03, Reply)
Hi

(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 18:38, Reply)
morning

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 1:20, Reply)
evening

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 1:34, Reply)
night

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 3:47, Reply)
CHEESE IT

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 8:07, Reply)
RUMBLED!

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 12:23, Reply)
Already?
Going back to bed
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 8:40, Reply)
Lazy sunday

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:29, Reply)
morning

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 8:44, Reply)
I've just bought some new trousers in Cheshire.
Altrincham?

No, they fit perfectly!!!
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 9:30, Reply)
Knutsford?
They are a little snug, yes
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 9:41, Reply)
Chester?

I barely know 'er!
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 9:51, Reply)

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?
(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 10:43, Reply)
Failed on all points, about to get b&

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 10:48, Reply)
If any of that were even remotely enforced, /talk would have been shut down a decade ago.

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:12, Reply)
morning

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:10, Reply)
alright will

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:34, Reply)
Afternoon

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 12:02, Reply)
Paul McKarkney

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:58, Reply)
Liam GallAAAARGHer

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:01, Reply)
Ringtone Starr

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:10, Reply)
lol autocorrect

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:19, Reply)
Well I'm still proud of it

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 16:16, Reply)
Damn you for getting my hopes up. 😕

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:02, Reply)
You're just jealous because you don't have a brother who calls your children and threatens them with violence

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:37, Reply)
I'm assuming

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 21:08, Reply)
I'm mr horrible

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 23:41, Reply)
let it all out babez

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 0:24, Reply)
If we're doing confessions: I'm quite clever and have many plain t-shirts

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 0:25, Reply)
Iggy Popped his clogs

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:06, Reply)
Dr DOA

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:08, Reply)
Ringo Startingtorot

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:33, Reply)
David Bowingout

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:34, Reply)
No Moreissey

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:39, Reply)
<s>u</s> l

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:41, Reply)
I bagsy posting 'deeper underground' when jay kay carks it

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 14:00, Reply)
Dead Sheeran

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:51, Reply)
Macklenomore

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:52, Reply)
alright the Proclaimers

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 18:18, Reply)
Corpsey Taylor

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 19:47, Reply)
morning bogwoppits

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 5:59, Reply)
Hi

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 6:18, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 6:22, Reply)
fuck off then

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
What are bogwoppits, are they an inbred mountain tribe from deepest Wakistan?

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 7:01, Reply)
fucking hell
I remember reading that as a kid
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 9:43, Reply)
Didn't read it, but it was on Jackanory
- nothing but the name and the illustration stuck in my head
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 9:53, Reply)
I've never heard of it
#bookchat
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:17, Reply)
A novel by Stephen King, quite well known really

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:51, Reply)
Fascinatingly, I read a few of his books when I was young, but not It.
Never seen any of the adaptations either.

#bookchat #b3tatalkcontent #thatsinterestinghedgehog
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:16, Reply)
I’ve read most of the early ones but lost interest later on
Love all the adaptations though, even the cheesy low-budget ones.
Also The Shining is my all time favourite film
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:40, Reply)
The Shining also one of my favourite films.

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:55, Reply)
I very much like The Shining, one of the few adaptations that's better than the book.
Even if chinless cokeface famously disagrees.
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:02, Reply)
It's a masterpiece.

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:08, Reply)
You can easily skip 400 pages from the middle of IT
And it won't make a bit of fucking difference to the story
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:00, Reply)
The bit where they gangbang the 12 year old girl?

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 16:03, Reply)
That counts for a few pages, yes

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 16:30, Reply)
Me either
It looks like it was popular with a few of us though.
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:54, Reply)
So is racism, so it's not a great recommendation

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:03, Reply)
I thought they were from Mongololololia

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 8:42, Reply)
alright Ricky Gervais, you haven't been funny since Extras.

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:10, Reply)

Extras birth
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:17, Reply)
Seconded

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:42, Reply)
Morning

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 8:39, Reply)
Sounds a bit racist

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:03, Reply)
Yeah, I was going to say that.
It is a bit brb-klaxony.
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:12, Reply)
if you were Irish-Italian, I imagine it would be triggering.

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:17, Reply)
ciao patata

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 14:57, Reply)
Morning

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:15, Reply)
OH PISS OFF

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:41, Reply)

O
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:43, Reply)
This is terrifically rude.

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:23, Reply)
i know

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:19, Reply)
Stephanie Cold

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:35, Reply)
Stiffanie

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 19:03, Reply)
To where?

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:45, Reply)
upsetting news?

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 19:17, Reply)

n j
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:59, Reply)
piss related?

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 22:02, Reply)
PISS OFF NEXT TO ME

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:05, Reply)
lols

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:59, Reply)
OK, this is lol.

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 21:13, Reply)
Why?
What has happened to make you feel this negative? I get it, life sometimes kicks you in the spuds, but is it anything we can help with?
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 23:40, Reply)
you could try pissing off

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 23:57, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 0:25, Reply)
Parp
I need to start making more money
Beans again
(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:44, Reply)
you're going to sell beans?

(, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 21:19, Reply)
No I can only afford beans for dinner
Hence my obsession with farting
Parp
(, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 8:08, Reply)
Overdue afternoon

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:56, Reply)
Hi

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:11, Reply)
Shove it up your ring piece, fuckwit

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:15, Reply)
SEX PEST BEBBEH!

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:18, Reply)
DD52S

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:26, Reply)
Use your membership ID as shown on your membership ID card. If you are using the membership ID found in the address portion of your SOARING magazine, DO NOT enter the preceding zeros.

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:29, Reply)
SOARING magazine

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:30, Reply)
MOTHERFUCKERS BE SOARIN

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:33, Reply)
THEY SEE ME SOARIN', THEY HATIN'

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:45, Reply)
DO NOT enter the preceding zeros

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:47, Reply)
Pay attention 7, it's not a toy

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:38, Reply)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the ze

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:39, Reply)
ps I did it again

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:41, Reply)
bi-Wan never told you what happened to your father

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:43, Reply)
More like SORE RING magazine, round these parts, eh pals?

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:34, Reply)
00

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:40, Reply)
There's an 'le in the zone layer

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:14, Reply)
Two Hundred Leagues Under The Sea

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 0:36, Reply)
arseboon overduo

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:14, Reply)
Sounds like some sort of 1990s authentication method

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:15, Reply)
I see you too have been cursed by Duo MFA
Duo MFA being my favorite member of Wu-Tang Clan
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:20, Reply)
ODBC

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:26, Reply)
on RedHat/CentOS sudo yum install unixODBC unixODBC-devel

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:32, Reply)
on Windows you RUN CMD

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:27, Reply)
It's tricky.

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:34, Reply)
You can't grow a neckbeard with commands like that

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:45, Reply)
C.R.E.A.M.
Cheers Reads Eggy Arsehole Monthly
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:33, Reply)
So do I

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:35, Reply)
+Sm

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:35, Reply)
it's for albuwomen and albumen

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:38, Reply)
Different yolks for different folks

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:41, Reply)
Comes with a cardboard binder that holds up to 12 issues

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:50, Reply)
I tried to track down the publisher but it's just a shell company

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:55, Reply)
It's ok but it doesn't really cater to my Humpty Dumpty fetish

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:56, Reply)
You need to get ova that

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:29, Reply)
Guess what I've got on my face

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:42, Reply)
You’re damn right I do

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:03, Reply)
1980s supercar

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:00, Reply)
#infest

(, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 0:32, Reply)
Afternoon

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:49, Reply)
getting on the dizzyade for Peter Shilton's birthday
get invovled
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:43, Reply)
Peter Shiltoff amirite

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:46, Reply)
tilted and shilted

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:58, Reply)
Fizzy egg juice?

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:30, Reply)
Fucking shitty wanky 2 / 7
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cmgrvdyxwz0go
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:25, Reply)
4/7 Horsing around
Probably the first time at this that I wish I'd done less well, because getting a score of 'Flogging a dead horse' would just have been too perfect for this place.
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:35, Reply)
May I humbly suggest the noble medium of Outright Lies?

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
My god, you're right.
I'd never even thought of that. As anathematic as the very idea sounds, I think this might be an arguable case for lying on the internet.
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:11, Reply)
2/7 fuck a horse

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:40, Reply)
Slingshot Homolog

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:10, Reply)
By which I mean 1/7

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:04, Reply)
Who's ever heard of any of the TV shows that win shit?
Or Sydney Sweeney, who apparently the only time anybody cares to mention her existence is in relation to what clothes are worn or not in an advert?
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:06, Reply)
She has big tits tho

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:09, Reply)
I mean, its probably not unfair to say that's true of around a quarter of the population of the planet

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:40, Reply)
You nasty little sex pest

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:48, Reply)
Less of the little

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:50, Reply)
Christ remember when orange faced sex pest only meant forum user SikRik

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:55, Reply)
He's the president now

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:01, Reply)
Actually she has an oversized unibreast which is separated into two distinct sub-units via a cunning mechanism and AI

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:11, Reply)
3/7 Dead Van Dyke

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:45, Reply)
3/7 hot horny horse action

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:24, Reply)
3/7 Bob Holness nip slip pics

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:24, Reply)
Cor

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:29, Reply)
It's AI, you can tell

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:48, Reply)
Slingshot homolog

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:59, Reply)
4/7 Feeling a little horse

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:26, Reply)
1/7, a new low

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:51, Reply)
Why the long face?

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:12, Reply)
Donkey shit is like horse shit
🥷🏻
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:59, Reply)
5/7 getting an extra packet of salt in your Salt ‘n’ Shake crisps
Best result in ages and they were all guesses.
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:21, Reply)
Congratulations!

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:23, Reply)
4/7 smeggy bread

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:53, Reply)
4/7 - Wild guesses drag me away

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:56, Reply)
4 across (3)(5)
Key West Florida fire chief and convicted drug dealer, went missing Feb 1976
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:34, Reply)
Funny name corner.

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:37, Reply)
arseboon farto

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:38, Reply)
arsebum dilfarto

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:39, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SSH1
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:43, Reply)
I'm seeing Slingshot Homolog at Infest!!!!

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:11, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post2636913
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:39, Reply)
Wee Plops

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:39, Reply)
Wee plopper girl jappers

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:58, Reply)
and their hit 'wee stule'

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:59, Reply)
Ass Gassy

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:35, Reply)
Night

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 0:45, Reply)
Night

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 1:04, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:07, Reply)
Morning, morning.

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:08, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 9:50, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 5:46, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 6:13, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:00, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:08, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:12, Reply)
bumflaps

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:12, Reply)
There's always one, isn't there. 🙄

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:09, Reply)
I think you'll find there are normally two, the clue's in the pluralisation

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:11, Reply)
If he had any honour he’d delete his post and restore the beauty of this morning chevron

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:14, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:08, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:11, Reply)
Fucking get in, unexpected 13% payrise.
Finally, a salary that starts with a 3!
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:29, Reply)

p g
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:12, Reply)
unexgected

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:13, Reply)
Alright monster munch

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:34, Reply)
Bum Farto yeah?

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 12:47, Reply)
Cor!

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:20, Reply)

um Farto oondocks,
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:23, Reply)
People put me down because that's the side of town I was born in

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:45, Reply)
Love a bit of Bum Farto

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:30, Reply)
If you insist

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:33, Reply)
to the tune of 'So Macho'

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 14:24, Reply)
Tried to return my used Scooby-Doo pants today.
Would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those pesky skids.
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
^2 in the jinkies 1 in the stinkies

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 15:07, Reply)
Now that's a scrappy doo

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 16:14, Reply)
- Raggy?
- No, they're intact!
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 16:17, Reply)
Fucking lol

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:16, Reply)
Apologies, I’ve been too busy to participate in this, the most Bum Farto of threads on /chat
I’ve let myself down, but more importantly I’ve let Bum Farto down
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:13, Reply)
I seem to remember you were a bit lukewarm about Dick Butkus, you seem to have a problem with strong manly men

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:32, Reply)
It’s why I rarely post on /links

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:19, Reply)
and yet here you are looking into my eyes and talking to me

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 21:32, Reply)
Nobody is lukewarm about Dick Butkus

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 22:38, Reply)
Not on my watch!

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 0:04, Reply)
Too tired

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 18:23, Reply)
You're probably jest-lagged

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 19:01, Reply)
I'm just pissed off
Found out today that I don't just have a hernia, I also have gallstones, which are the likely culprit of my very painful trapped wind. I've now been referred to 2 surgeons because I need 2 operations.
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 19:56, Reply)
On the plus side, gall bladder is usually done laparoscopically, very short recovery time, and you'll probably have a bunch of minor ailments improve afterwards

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:10, Reply)
I hope so
Mum had gallstones, the second they cut into her, she turned yellow. Jaundice. She was stuck in for 9 days. Still, it's been at least a couple of years since I had surgery, I was almost beginning to miss it.
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:31, Reply)
shite innit
Gallstone or hernia, both are fucking awful
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 22:09, Reply)
I'm not bothered about the surgery
I just get stabby about the pain
(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 1:04, Reply)
Dunno, what are his policies?

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:11, Reply)
Unsure, but I suspect they’re mostly fart-right

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:20, Reply)
He blew off a lot of competition to get the nomination

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 21:32, Reply)
His nomination filled a hole

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 23:00, Reply)
it was a stop-gap measure

(, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 0:22, Reply)
FFS let's do this properly. Morning.

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:22, Reply)
Replying in the Official Morning Thread™️

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:30, Reply)
Awarding a 100% authentic morning back.

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:46, Reply)
Anyone for a pokey bumwank?

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:54, Reply)
Not on halfcock titmeat day

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:31, Reply)
Garold.

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:48, Reply)
Aardvark

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:54, Reply)
Always believe in your saroul

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:58, Reply)
Morning

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:52, Reply)
Good morning
how's the lurgy now? Antibionics done their work?
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:55, Reply)
Yep
Just got off the phone with the doctor's, this trapped wind needs sorting and I need a referral for the hiatus hernia which is probably the case of it
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:17, Reply)
like this?
www.youtube.com/shorts/wQC1_ynbDYs
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:19, Reply)
Not quite

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:26, Reply)
Bum Farto

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 15:23, Reply)
Hi

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:54, Reply)
Hiyas

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:55, Reply)
can't believe I missed the Bum Farto thread

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:58, Reply)
There’ll be another one along soon

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:09, Reply)
There'll probably be two at the same time eh?

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 10:45, Reply)
There'll be loads, like in that film, Blazing Fartos

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:33, Reply)
Donnie Farto

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 14:28, Reply)
GEOSTORM

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:05, Reply)
look for this mark to ensure your morning thread is 100% authentic

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:05, Reply)
skid +

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 10:46, Reply)
GEOSTORM

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:23, Reply)
"My name? Yes, it's G. O. Storm."

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:25, Reply)
I'm not original at all.
I shall go and flagellate myself until I come up with something funny.
b3ta.com/talk/8445759

with something funny Queef's mum
(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:55, Reply)
Morning

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:53, Reply)
Morning indeed

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:56, Reply)
Bum Farto y/n

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:17, Reply)
y

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 12:00, Reply)
No need for the objectifying language mate, take it elsewhere.

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 12:00, Reply)
Even if you would, he probably would.

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 16:52, Reply)
y

(, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:35, Reply)

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