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Grave Cousins

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:55, Reply)
3/7 gnome with a hardon

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 14:21, Reply)
Nobody's Cousin any more

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 14:28, Reply)
Just because you slaughtered your family

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 14:35, Reply)
I put the 'laughter' into 'merciless slaughter', m8.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 14:39, Reply)
I heard you put the 'funny' in "Christ that Smegg Wallace is a tedious unfunny cunt"

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 15:40, Reply)
I heard you put the 'ick' in 'sticklebricks'
Twice.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 15:43, Reply)
once
It’s sticklebrlcks for some reason because GFB is a wanker
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 17:00, Reply)
as it happens only once
the second one has an L in it because GFB is squatting on the name
(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 17:01, Reply)
Well I don’t know who GFB is, but if you want me to beat them up for you, I will.
Ghe Furry Binosaur?
Gildfeart Baby?
Gam Faster Beordie?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 17:50, Reply)
Godawful Fucking Bollocks?
I heard it was that.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 17:55, Reply)
whichever beakering spastic that used to post as Great Forum Banter

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 18:08, Reply)
Oh right, that one.
If I see them I’ll shit in their soup for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 18:13, Reply)
you're very kind

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 18:48, Reply)
So you find me funny, great news, my life is now complete.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 15:47, Reply)
Meaning you have no reason to live any longer?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jul 2025, 16:44, Reply)
Dedd Wallace

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 16:50, Reply)
that is a tragically low bar

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 17:17, Reply)
Grave-id Kaff

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 14:40, Reply)
Have a good time, none of the time.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 15:49, Reply)
None more dead.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 15:59, Reply)
Smell the Corpse

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 15:59, Reply)
Big Coffin

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 15:59, Reply)
Stone dead

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 16:11, Reply)
John (racist) Tirade
Gone Torode
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 17:21, Reply)
Wonder what he said?
Aussies are notoriously racist tho.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 17:30, Reply)
Stunned poster used to work a lot with Australian businesses
He told me it was the most openly racist place he'd ever been to.

And then moved to Australia.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 17:46, Reply)
Something about a dish being so burnt it was in danger of being sold into slavery

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 17:46, Reply)
Hullo pissflap's, how r u lol
Day off today, not sure how to spend it. I done some indoor cycling*, got a phone appointment with a physio in a bit, other than that, bit of a loose** end.

What should I do? No silly 'joke' replies please, it's Serious Internet Day.


*not a euphemism
** strikey bell
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:14, Reply)
Record a DJ set of wall to wall 90s hip hop BANGERS

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:17, Reply)
Mrs Smegwin is working in the room where all the BANGERS are
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:52, Reply)
Divorce.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:57, Reply)
I don't have any Tammy Wynette records

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:05, Reply)
I meant the Billy Connolly one.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:32, Reply)
oh right, I've got doubles of that

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:41, Reply)
GET ON IT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:50, Reply)
would go great into the SuperGran theme too
#GetOnTheBillym8
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:54, Reply)
megawank and a fancy coffee

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:18, Reply)

and into
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:27, Reply)
not a fan of a macchiato

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:31, Reply)
He was alright in The Karate Kid

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:56, Reply)
do you like making love at midnight?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:56, Reply)
WAY ahead of you bro

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:53, Reply)
Time to break out the darning mushroom*
*not a euphemism
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:23, Reply)
"darning"? I don't want to see that kind of foul language on this site, please edit your post.
While swearing is permitted on the boards, we prefer more creative forms of profanity:

* Portmanteau: twat + cunt = twunt. Can you think of your own?
* Animal combos: cock-badger and kitten-flaps have been found to be most effective.
* Reversal: by reversing "fuck" and "cock" you can substantially improve your swearing. EG: "Cock off you cocking fucksucker."

Stand out from the crowd and find your own swearing style. Maybe yours will catch on.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:35, Reply)
Easier to just buy new socks

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 14:16, Reply)
not if he's not darning socks

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 15:18, Reply)
Sorry you fusty old shitters UTOL is here so there will be NO SERIOUSNESS
unless I get in a bad mood of course, then I'll be as serious as I please.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:23, Reply)
-I please +cancer

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:31, Reply)
wank yourself to wonderland

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:44, Reply)

to at wonder Lego
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:16, Reply)
I’m as serious as internet when I say rhythm is a dinternet

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:57, Reply)
I'm as serious as a broken headlight when I say mediocre comedy website

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:14, Reply)
I'm serious as Dawkins when it's about babies thawing

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:17, Reply)
I'm serious as Japan when I say my jism is in your nan

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:19, Reply)
(From the 1992 hit "Jism in your nan sir")

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:24, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8451967
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:59, Reply)
Serious internet morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 5:30, Reply)
how fucking dare you

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 5:58, Reply)
yeah? yeah.

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 6:06, Reply)
morning yeah

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 6:43, Reply)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 9:47, Reply)
you would say that

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 10:02, Reply)
NO
Just kidding, YEAH
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 6:59, Reply)
This place is getting too lowbrow for me.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 7:12, Reply)
This place is getting too Jonty Bravery's monobrow for me

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 9:11, Reply)
RIP spanishfly

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:17, Reply)
alright

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 7:50, Reply)
Morning
Off to view a flat with my cousin. She's lovely, but a total pushover
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 8:16, Reply)
so not a weeble?

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 8:19, Reply)
You gonna do the nice cop, nasty cop routine, but subverted
into a kind of nice tenant, nasty tenant kind of thing?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 8:27, Reply)
Not any more
We were on our way when the letting agent told us it was already gone
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:33, Reply)
Seriously?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 8:18, Reply)
ikr?!

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 8:20, Reply)
I name this day TUESDAY
and all shall rejoice and be glad.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 8:27, Reply)
And on the second day he rested
Because fuck it, it was good enough by that point anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 8:42, Reply)
For a serious internet morning, we need a serious internet day
Happy EU Day for the Victims of the Global Climate Crisis!
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 8:48, Reply)
Well that's the global climate crisis sorted.
What shall we tackle next? War, maybe?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jul 2025, 8:56, Reply)
dunno, maybe you could contact your local MEP.... oh

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 9:35, Reply)

the global climate crisis lunch
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 10:10, Reply)
Sorry for the lack of replies, I’ve been seriously busy
on the INTERNET™️
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 9:15, Reply)
LOL clit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 9:20, Reply)
Nature of business (SIC)

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:07, Reply)
YOU TAKE THAT BACK

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 10:11, Reply)
Eh?
Boring conversation anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 20:13, Reply)
yeah m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 21:17, Reply)
Are you new to /talk?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 21:32, Reply)
Cock, Stock and two Smoking Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! Cock BANNED from /talk, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 22:29, Reply)

*3ppb
(I helped save b3ta! Cock BANNED from /talk, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 22:29, Reply)
^Gay Ritchie

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 22:48, Reply)
Gake AND Fay

(I helped save b3ta! Cock BANNED from /talk, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 0:11, Reply)
Dunno, I bailed out early, could see the direction it was headed in and decided not to participate further.
Might scroll down later and have a look, if I can be bothered.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 9:10, Reply)
Constance Marten y/n

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 17:40, Reply)
British woman, aristocratic family, convicted rapist partner, meh, I'm trying to feel it but it's pretty standard stuff
alt: Bitch is already fucked, if that's what you're asking
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 17:51, Reply)
Yes what / no what?
This sort of horrible shit happens all the time, and is no less horrible when it's not all over the news.
The only reason we're hearing about it this time is "Outsider - they want our womens!"
If she was a penniless dinner lady from a council estate, there'd be no police hunt, no court case, no media coverage. And probably that should be the real shocker.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 17:58, Reply)
even if you would, she probably wouldn't

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 18:22, Reply)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 18:59, Reply)

b3ta.com/features/faq/#taste
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 20:51, Reply)
Eh?
Are you directing that at me?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 21:18, Reply)
i was quoting from the faq, as we often do here, it was to make it clear what his question meant
i've got no issue with you at all, why would i? but honestly, not to be a cunt, you do sometimes seem painfully sensitive to the kind of mostly playful abuse that is standard here.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 23:56, Reply)
Autism, probably
Can't tell when someone is being proper mean, or mucking about. And it triggers my trauma response.
I try to get over it.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 7:22, Reply)

1.19 million people die in road accidents every year: maybe half a column inch in the local news and that's it.

A footballer dies in a car crash: the entire internet pisses itself with grief.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 18:30, Reply)
Yes but those 1.19 million people probably had a fraction of the talent combined at kicking a ball into a goal and should gladly have sacrificed themselves so that the ball kicking man could have lived.

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 18:55, Reply)
FITBA, or something

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:17, Reply)
if you laid them all out in a long line from here to the moon they still couldn't beat a fucking offside trap

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 20:56, Reply)
I find people who get upset about the mourning of other people really fucked up. The person who died isn't bothered so why are you. It's a bit sociopath.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:18, Reply)
it's weirdly judgemental. we can't exactly choose who we mourn, and it doesn't always make sense

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 21:05, Reply)
Can I visit you in Mauritius? Have you got a swimming pool lined up?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 0:00, Reply)
I'm going Grenada mate. Carribbean

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 1:36, Reply)
pull the pin out

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 6:41, Reply)
All of these assertions are unfalsifiable.
You're just wallowing in self-imposed impotent rage. It's not healthy, maybe best if you read a nice book instead
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:29, Reply)
Or a nasty one, even. We're not your dad.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:51, Reply)
Where are you getting this nonsense from?
Babies being neglected to death always makes the news. Baby P wasn't the son of some aristo, wasn't he? Or Victoria Climbié. Those are just two I can remember off the top of my head.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:53, Reply)
Baby P's death was a tragedy.
Let Me Be Your Fantasy was a proper rave banger.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:55, Reply)
put a donk on it

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 20:55, Reply)
Diddy P, in r harts 4eva

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:57, Reply)
I just don't think creepy wank fantasy posts are your forte.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:10, Reply)
Well that's a relief.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:12, Reply)
What about Gordon you fucking racist?

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:54, Reply)
Black, so N by default.
I realise how racist this sounds, but I stand by my statement.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:56, Reply)
"Sounds" racist?
Fuck off
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:59, Reply)
Worse than that, he's a big gay racist!

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 20:04, Reply)
OHHHHH NOOOOOOO

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 20:52, Reply)
WELL FUCK YOU THEN

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 20:04, Reply)
Be hetero, by all means, but please don't rule out fucks on race grounds

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 21:21, Reply)
Are you taking over from brb as the designated Person Who Takes Obviously Joke Posts At Face Value?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 14 Jul 2025, 21:47, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 1:28, Reply)
Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 12:25, Reply)
I was waiting for you to say that.
Or if not you, then someone like you.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 12:25, Reply)
a cunt?

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 12:28, Reply)
A cunt is useful, m8

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 12:32, Reply)
thanks m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 19:06, Reply)
No,
her name is Adele.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 13:18, Reply)
n00n

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 12:47, Reply)
We don't want your type around here.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 13:58, Reply)
Happy Birthday, Maulana Karenga!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 14:39, Reply)
What a wonderful phrase.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 14:55, Reply)
It means no worries
for the rest of your life...
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 15:33, Reply)
instant death then

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 17:45, Reply)
My favourite bit was when he took off the Yaphet Kotto mask and revealed himself to be Yaphet Kotto underneath

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 15:34, Reply)
My new panasonic shaver I got in the Prime Day sales arrive today. Bit worried it might try to beat me up

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 17:33, Reply)
42 guns

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 17:40, Reply)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 7:25, Reply)
morning

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 8:17, Reply)
Hi sticksy

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:51, Reply)
Well, well, well.

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:02, Reply)
Hi garideb

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:51, Reply)
Stop using my deadname
I'm now gander non pacific.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 10:22, Reply)
I sea

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 11:20, Reply)
Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays!
Yes it's me you cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:16, Reply)
Hi UToL

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:51, Reply)
What up

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:54, Reply)
another day another dollar

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:41, Reply)
Oh God, not you again FFS

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:51, Reply)
no it's someone else using my account

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 10:43, Reply)
You really should raise your prices

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 11:03, Reply)
Good day to you.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:59, Reply)
Aardvark

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 11:34, Reply)
That's my name.
Not, like, legally or anything. And if anyone called me that in person it'd be weird. But as far as you're concerned, that's my name.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 11:37, Reply)
I thought your legal name was Aaron A Aardvark

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 12:47, Reply)
No reaal naames pleaase.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 13:47, Reply)
m,orning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 10:01, Reply)
Hi cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 11:34, Reply)
Morning Smeggulon, et al
I have returned from my jog. It was very pleasant. You can see all the way to the Malverns from here.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 10:14, Reply)
No you can't you fucking LIAR

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jul 2025, 11:35, Reply)
he can
he lives in Lower Wyche
(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 12:07, Reply)
Close

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 16:29, Reply)
Morning all
Sorry about that silly outburst last night, I was pissed. It was my birthday, if that helps.
Today I have the day off - rest of the week too. I will be doing some painting and stripping tiles off and stuff.

First, I'm off for a jog before it gets too hot.

Trad: I might poop on a pussycat later.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 7:25, Reply)
Happy birthday for 364 days’ time from now.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 8:42, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 9:39, Reply)
+ doll
Nicole Scheißinger
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 12:01, Reply)
Piss and shit, fuck and wank
Tits and willies, bums and fannies
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 21:54, Reply)
This place is getting too highbrow for me.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 22:40, Reply)
It's just constant shit posting. People did share their lives. I liked doing live from the lake. We all get old I suppose.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 22:54, Reply)
Bring Live from the Lake back then. You’ll be happy and so will I.
Be the change you want to see, mongy.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 22:56, Reply)
Mauritius looks lovely
"The island's government is closely modelled on the Westminster parliamentary system with Mauritius highly ranked for economic and political freedom... Mauritius is consistently ranked as the most peaceful country in Africa."
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 0:02, Reply)
Yeah. I went out with a girl from there. Kerry, very pretty.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 14 Jul 2025, 4:53, Reply)
Nitty gritty

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 22:51, Reply)
Fucking hell. Just relaid the path to the front door
Mixing concrete with your partner in searing heat is not a great way spend a stupid hot day. What do you think is a fucking silly way to enjoy the summer?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 14:48, Reply)
Flying away to hot places at the time when your own country has the most reliably sunny weather
Derp
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 14:57, Reply)
I laid a whole lawn of turf and gravelled a massive drive this week
I destroyed my shoulder tendons and went a dark shade of red that wasn't sunburn.
it was a bit warm
(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 15:37, Reply)
Being a camp counsellor at crystal lake

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 18:06, Reply)
One of my friends is a camp counsellor
Gay Bob the Psychiatrist we call him
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 18:58, Reply)
I bet his patients look fabulous

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 20:30, Reply)
Queer mind's-eye for the straight guy

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 20:36, Reply)
Humpmann Rorschach

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 21:10, Reply)
Jung and hung

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 22:05, Reply)
I'm sorry I've written a joke

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 13 Jul 2025, 20:42, Reply)
apology accepted

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 21:08, Reply)
Good afternoon
Its another fine sunny day. Let's stay inside and online
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 12:00, Reply)
I'm inside until 3, luckily I've got aircon at work

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 13:03, Reply)
You priests have it easy these days

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 13:17, Reply)
kneel sinner

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 13:22, Reply)
He was my favourite Labour leader during the 80s.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 14:00, Reply)
The sun's out, and so are the Tories!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 13 Jul 2025, 15:18, Reply)
things can only get b3ta!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 18:24, Reply)
good morning my little schmetterlings

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 5:34, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 8:07, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 8:31, Reply)
piss off

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 13 Jul 2025, 8:51, Reply)
bom dia borboleta x

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 9:16, Reply)
Anusol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 9:31, Reply)
Vagisil

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 9:32, Reply)
cardboard box

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 9:40, Reply)
Doof doof doof

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 11:46, Reply)
!IDUP !IDUP !IDUP

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 13:22, Reply)
And they’re like, “it’s schmetter than yours”
Damn right, it’s schmetter than yours
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 10:45, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 11:43, Reply)
Alright "Crazy Town"

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 11:48, Reply)
Who's watched Superman yet?
I loved it. Just like reading the comic book. And in IMAX and 3D it looked amazing.
(Planearm, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 17:46, Reply)
Not yet, no
I might go next week
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 18:42, Reply)
Not since the one with Richard Pryor

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 18:46, Reply)
Watching a film isn’t anything like reading a comic book.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 18:48, Reply)
'Reading' a comic 'book'?
Ok
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Jul 2025, 19:20, Reply)
They do have words in. The response you've given is true to the input you've always put on this forum. It was a real shame when qftw went and everyone desended on talk.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 19:36, Reply)
It is if you flip the pages really fast

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 19:40, Reply)
Yeah but at 24 pages per second they only usually last 3-4 seconds.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 22:31, Reply)
Why do they keep remaking Superman?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 19:37, Reply)
Because Jews.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Jul 2025, 19:48, Reply)
alright Bob Vylan

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 19:51, Reply)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Jul 2025, 20:03, Reply)
brand recognition

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 20:09, Reply)
$$$

(Planearm, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 20:26, Reply)
dribble

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 20:41, Reply)
They're trying to get it perfect

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 20:27, Reply)
calling him Perfectman would be a start

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 2:33, Reply)
Yeah but then they wouldn't know whether to make him a sensitive and considerate feminist with a great sense of humour who's good with kids or a swole billionaire with a 12 inch penus.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 8:06, Reply)
No, you're thinking of the 64 million dollar man

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 21:05, Reply)
Christopher Went :(

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 20:26, Reply)
Gene sub-Prime

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 20:42, Reply)
Lex Lethal

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 21:12, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8439222
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 21:30, Reply)
I remembered you'd done a good one, but couldn't think what it was.
Cheers
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 21:51, Reply)
Christopher Leeve

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 21:03, Reply)
Chuckedoffer Steed

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 22:13, Reply)
actual fucking lol

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 9:43, Reply)
He likes it when you watch.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 21:03, Reply)
Man of Steel was good.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 12 Jul 2025, 21:29, Reply)
Yes, if you're a blobbing bird or woofter

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 8:11, Reply)
Hi spacklord's, yes it's me, the smegmeister
Having a nice day? I'm at work but it's dead so really I'm getting paid to loaf about in the sun.

At some point this afternoon I will most likely crap on a coipu
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 12:25, Reply)
or curl one out on a curlew

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 12:27, Reply)
Haha what do you mean you're at work? It's Saturday you massive spastic!

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 12:45, Reply)
Someone woke him up early with a panicked sounding voice.
OMG you're going to be late! Get up, get dressed, go go go!

So there he is, at work on a Saturday, like some sort of chump.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 12:49, Reply)
oh MAN!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 12:54, Reply)
Hi Queef
I had a dream about you last night, I've not met you and have no idea what you look like, but the person in my dream was a dibbling spackmong so it must have been you! Love you bye x
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 12 Jul 2025, 12:50, Reply)
that wasn't me m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 12:53, Reply)
"Dibbling"? What's "dibbling" precious?

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 13:56, Reply)
Dibbling??
You know, dibbling... around the edge of the foreskin!
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 12 Jul 2025, 14:11, Reply)
Pearly Penile Papules
turtle power
(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 15:44, Reply)
i'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead and come in on saturday

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 13:53, Reply)
I'm so hot and sweaty
My boobs are hydroplaning across my chest
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 15:24, Reply)
pics or gtfo

(Planearm, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 17:50, Reply)
Too hot for the shot

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 18:41, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 7:40, Reply)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Jul 2025, 8:17, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 8:45, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 8:17, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 8:46, Reply)
Morning
Special weekend edition
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 8:38, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 8:46, Reply)
bs

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 8:54, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 8:58, Reply)
making patterns in the suede on my trainers

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 9:32, Reply)
bored with that now

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 11:46, Reply)
doing it again

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 9:59, Reply)
bored again

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Sun 13 Jul 2025, 13:23, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 9:37, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 9:39, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 10:10, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 10:13, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 10:12, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Jul 2025, 10:13, Reply)

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