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Good evening.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 19:05, Reply)
Bit disappointed I missed the sports footwear argument

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 19:10, Reply)
I must have missed that too.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 19:12, Reply)
Rack off, ya mongrels
G'day /chat, Richard mcbeef here, you know, off the internet? The kidnapper guy?

How are u 2day lol
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:58, Reply)
bored off my tits
even though my team got canned two weeks ago, the managers didn't find out until yesterday, and the actual client still doesn't know. Client is still asking us to do things that will take us way past the cut-off date, but no-one wants to be the one to say "We'd love to, but we've all been fired".

Seems we all got sold off by some prick bean counter in Switzerland who's never even met us.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:19, Reply)
I'm sure that if they got to know you
You'd have been fired sooner
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:25, Reply)
Why haven't you stolen the stationary and left via the nearest exit?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:31, Reply)

me, sending out my CVs
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:33, Reply)
pffffft

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 13:06, Reply)
Promise the world, knowing it's now someone else's problem

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:49, Reply)
Bit chilly

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:24, Reply)

t ch g w
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:25, Reply)
I don't know how big Richard is

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:26, Reply)

jpwaldron.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/img_3482.jpg
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:35, Reply)
Mmmm, winkles

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:19, Reply)
I am on the verge of resolving our battle with THE BUILDERS
we took them to small claims court and they paid us out and since then we've been trying to get The Guild of Master Craftsmen (who have been mediating) to get us the guarantees and building reg certs.

Got a letter yesterday saying the guild had demanded they give us the paperwork and were in the process of reviewing THE BUILDERS' membership.

Looks like we're either getting it sorted or they get chucked out of their guild body.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:31, Reply)
It's not a real guild, it's a load of bollox

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:48, Reply)
Sounds like a D&D faction.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:58, Reply)
It's one less logo they can put on their website

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:58, Reply)
I'm sure if they carry on paying for membership the guild will do fuck all

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:49, Reply)
I'm guessing it costs more money replying to all those complaint letters
than they get in membership fees.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 13:14, Reply)
^
We had a similar story regarding our old warehouse and the United Kingdom Warehousing Association - they dgaf
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 14:44, Reply)

imgur.com/a/lMEsAJC
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 15:37, Reply)
you're one shrimp short of the barbie

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:51, Reply)
strewth!

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:46, Reply)

dna
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 11:59, Reply)
Just putting in the hours until the second day of the short film festival gets underway tonight.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:23, Reply)

www.societenoir.co.uk/collections/tshirts/products/noir-gang-t?variant=5115303723040
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:47, Reply)
Too noir 4 me

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:52, Reply)
90s-tastic haircut on that guy in the second pic.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:52, Reply)
is that a Meet Me At McDonalds?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 14:18, Reply)
A what now?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 14:21, Reply)

metro.co.uk/2018/02/23/called-meet-mcdonalds-haircut-7336444/
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 15:01, Reply)
FFS
This is on a par with my school banning shoes with coloured stitching.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 15:05, Reply)
sneaker update
They have been relaced, but they didn't come with fat laces.

Grry's favourite website, bboylaces.com, will be hit up l8r for a set of blue and a set of white laces.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:40, Reply)
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:47, Reply)
this is beeterdotcomslashshoechat, right?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:48, Reply)
Till you get banned again

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:52, Reply)
what this thriving online community of likeminded contributors needs is fewer members.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:54, Reply)
Think of it as refinement, quality over quantity
when only mongy remains his posts will be utter perfection
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:56, Reply)
The final solution to the pooish problem.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:59, Reply)
beter slash aryanchat

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 13:01, Reply)
are you gonna swap one of each lace with your bezzie mate?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:53, Reply)
I like how you are an utter prick about footwear until the point at which you openly ask McBeef for sneaker recommendations.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 12:56, Reply)
Isn't that how this place works?
We all mock each other's interests, until we need that persons opinion of something related to their interests.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 13:27, Reply)
That reminds me, I need advice on touching dogs' bumholes.
Who should I ask?
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 14:01, Reply)
I dunno.
Just gaz mongy.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 15:19, Reply)
I like how you're so desperate for internet oneupmanship that you'll trawl through page after page of post history to get it
how far back did you have to go?
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 14:16, Reply)
I just typed 'puma' into the search box.
No lengthy trawling required.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 16:03, Reply)
this isn't xhamster m8

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 16:35, Reply)
o man zinged again!
One more zing and it's a zong!
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 16:38, Reply)
quality comebacks like this are why you keep getting banned

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:05, Reply)
You are in no position to be casting judgement on the quality of comebacks, are you?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:11, Reply)
Pimp My Aglet

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 13:24, Reply)
brexit

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 13:38, Reply)
You brexit?
you fix it.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 14:24, Reply)
Working my fucking arse off, winter seems to have come early

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 15:51, Reply)
do you see an upturn in patients when the seasons change?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 16:54, Reply)
Is that a serious question?
I was at the nursing home yesterday and saw about 20 patients with chest infections
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:06, Reply)
yes it is a serious question

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:11, Reply)
Winter is death to the elderly, Rich.
Well, it used to be, but we've become very good at keeping them alive, so now they're just a burden to 2Can and his colleagues.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:40, Reply)
yeah it wasn't really winter I was asking about, that's a given

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:48, Reply)
I think the NHS definition of winter is now 6 months long.
No respite in summer, either, as everyone boils to death in the unaccustomed heat.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 18:45, Reply)
1st of October 5% price increase on things you can't even buy ffs

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 16:32, Reply)
wife's just been told no additional money coming from her old employer
BOO
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:12, Reply)
+ bies

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:16, Reply)
Send arson round

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:21, Reply)
he's completely vanished

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:47, Reply)
Like a candle in the wind

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 17:52, Reply)
morning
limited service availability today, soz for the inconvenience.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 6:21, Reply)
I see I have been piped at the post
Morning to you
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 6:38, Reply)
lol piped
"Did you mean pipped?"
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 6:45, Reply)
Yes
Sorry
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:02, Reply)
^ pipper at the gates of dawn

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:32, Reply)
vg

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:31, Reply)

at up

st ohole
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:31, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:32, Reply)
I have meetings for most of the day, so I doubt I'll be here much.
Morning.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 6:43, Reply)
gutted

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 6:45, Reply)
for everyone else attending those meetings, I mean

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 6:45, Reply)
Misery loves company.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 6:55, Reply)
take a sledgehammer to their ankles then

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 6:56, Reply)
She hacks of his foot, in the book.
Fair made me wince, did that.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:32, Reply)
only King I've read is the Dark Tower
and most of that is rambling nonsense
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:40, Reply)
I thought he was great and I read loads.
When I was 12.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:42, Reply)
Dark Tower is rubbish.
The only book of his that I've read and not enjoyed.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:55, Reply)
Eyes of the dragon is good

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:55, Reply)
I read and enjoyed Little Sisters Of Eluria in a short story collection,
which duped me into thinking that the Dark Tower series would be good. Not making that mistake, again.
That said, I do enjoy an epic fantasy.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:58, Reply)
I gave up on the dark tower
Cujo was surprisingly good. His later stuff is a bit meh.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:34, Reply)
I watched Christine at the weekend. It was daft but fun.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:28, Reply)
She hacks of his foot are he drove it off the road

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:46, Reply)
hi

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:23, Reply)
brave of you to start a morning thread
et tu, bente?
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:30, Reply)
I hadn't seen yours so I went ahead.
I'm not sorry.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:41, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:44, Reply)
I am now

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:57, Reply)
yo'

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:46, Reply)
word

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:57, Reply)
new trainers 2day xx

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:49, Reply)
grey New Balance for cutting the grass?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:58, Reply)
no m8

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 7:59, Reply)

www.prodirectselect.com/products/Puma-Suede-Classic-Eco-Mens-Select-Shoes-Olympian-BlueWhite-54409.aspx
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:00, Reply)
alright "elvis"

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:08, Reply)
alright uhuh

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:10, Reply)
yep, those look like shoes

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:14, Reply)
do you rock a pair of Hi-Tec Squash or something?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:15, Reply)
I've no fucking clue, they're just shoes m8
grow up
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:32, Reply)
how can you not know what your own shoes are?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:34, Reply)
because I don't give a shit
they're black and they've got laces on and they stop my toenails getting stuffed with dogshit. I'm not taking them out on a date, I don't need to know their fucking name
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:37, Reply)
This whole sub thread is depressing me , I'm off

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:37, Reply)
might start a lindup thread, they always bring everyone together

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:42, Reply)
I like wearing nice things pal, nowt wrong with that.
You're a bit boring, no need to judge everyone by your own beige standards.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:38, Reply)
you're mincing about trainers m8
your definition of nice things is probably a minty fresh sweatshirt with a JJB Sports logo on it that hasn't gone all yellow and bobbled yet.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:43, Reply)
perhaps some swanky Umbro 'sweat pants'

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:44, Reply)
"It's our anniversary tonight darling"
"I've booked us a top table at KFC. Shall I wear the Kappa or the Fila? Which one will match your elizabeth duke earrings?"
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:47, Reply)
knock off sergio tacchino tracksuit and some adidas or bust
i also care not for shoes
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:57, Reply)

i.imgur.com/BjvuuCJ.jpg
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:00, Reply)
o man u zinged me!!!!

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:46, Reply)
damn right
that's you told, and no mistake
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:55, Reply)
some kind of joyless brown utility boots I expect

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:33, Reply)
Infest

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:36, Reply)
good choice

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:30, Reply)
puma swede, more like

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:00, Reply)
:)

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:12, Reply)
wahey!

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:22, Reply)
oi oi
$aveloy
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:24, Reply)
I wonder what delights the day ahead hold for me!
see bee fucken aye, tee bee aitch
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:32, Reply)
at least the train ran on time, right?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:33, Reply)
that's true, might go home and straight back to bed before something goes wrong

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:34, Reply)
your bed will have fleas in it or something
best to stay put. Borrow a hard hat from the warehouse staff.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:39, Reply)
can I borrow your joyless brown utility boots?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:40, Reply)
not sure I own any brown clothing tbh
unlike the back of your coat
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:41, Reply)
Hi there.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:47, Reply)
hello m8

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:50, Reply)
How are you doing?
Done any kidnap today?
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:55, Reply)
loads

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:17, Reply)
alright mace windy

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:50, Reply)
One week until the house move.
Might have a bash
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 8:55, Reply)
bet some cunt gives you scented candles

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:02, Reply)
I'll fucking kick off.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:05, Reply)
I could murder my boss
fucking weeks this design jobs being going from committee back to designers, tweaks, amendments, none of them make any fucking difference. I sent her the final draft saying YOU approve this or it will never end. Stupid fucking cow's forwarded it to the whole cunting group and already there's been a "well, I think having that picture next to that one looks a bit odd, what does everyone else think?" fucking wankers IT ALL LOOKS THE FUCKING SAME YOU DUMBFUCKS AND EACH REVISION IS COSTING US MONEY WE DON'T HAVE!!!

...

morning

...
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:00, Reply)
I didn't read it, but I'm glad whatever it is has upset you.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:04, Reply)
if you can't make a decision, don't be a manager
fuck's sake, pricks like that raking in all the top money by being useless bastards
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:07, Reply)
She's pretty good with most things
but when it comes to anything to do with design or layout she gets OCD and she doesn't really have that much of an idea. Nor do I, but I don't pretend to or give a fuck, I just defer to people who do.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:10, Reply)
you either employ competent UX or UI guys and trust in the research they do
or you just wing it and go with your gut. But committee design is never going to work.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:15, Reply)
doing anything by committee is trouble

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:27, Reply)
This is just a fucking design for a meeting room wall
some text nobody will read and pictures of three dead people and a couple of buildings and they've spent months fucking about with the layout. Unbelievable...
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:44, Reply)
"But we're Agile!"

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:07, Reply)
+fr

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:22, Reply)
Pro tip: try not to go over the lines when you're colouring in.

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:14, Reply)
^ A star in GCSE Geography

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:16, Reply)
I got a D in Geography.
Only subject I ever got a detention in, too.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:20, Reply)
"The trouble with you son, is that you're lazy. And you'll always be lazy" scorned my geography teacher.
"It's better than being a geography teacher" I replied, earning myself another detention.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:21, Reply)
Ha!
My geography teacher looked like he'd died, been buried, left for a while, then dug up and sent back to work.

I'd have been happier if I'd been able to choose "neither" when offered Geography or History.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:27, Reply)
I didn't know they had ATOS back then

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:35, Reply)
the only crap GCSE for me was RE
I think I got a U
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:30, Reply)
I don't think that was even offered as a GCSE at my school.
I'd have happily taken that as my humanities subject.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:37, Reply)
it was taught badly and both of the teachers were shits

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:41, Reply)
I enjoyed primary school RE, as it was literally just colouring in.
I found the few lessons of it I had at secondary, where we'd look at different faiths and debate ethical issues, to be genuinely interesting.
Fuck my stupid grammar school for not offering it as a GCSE.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:51, Reply)
I had two religion teachers in year 9
one was a nice gentle bloke who taught us about the Norse mythos and buddhism. The other was a militant witch and hardcore Christian who rammed the old testament down our throats and test us on who begat whom. She was also the Head of Year so she'd find all sorts of ways to make the other teachers bully you if you didn't toe her line.
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:06, Reply)
I got a D in Latin :(

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:19, Reply)
I told you Caecelius was in the atrium, but did you listen?

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:21, Reply)
I was too busy doing Metella up the shitter in the tablinum

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:23, Reply)
^ failed latin, studied Greek

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:26, Reply)
Morning
Cut my arm in my sleep
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:53, Reply)
1, 2, Freddy's coming for you...

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:55, Reply)
I had lifesize Freddie Krueger posters on my bedroom walls as a kid
Love nightmare on elm street
(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:38, Reply)
THIS IS MY LAST RESORT

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 9:59, Reply)
That made me do a proper lol

(, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 10:39, Reply)
customer of the day: Don Deacon
How's it going?

My kid's mum's ex has been harassing me and as a result I've said I'm not comfortable dropping my kid round his house on Sunday as she's asked. Apparently if I don't do so I'll be REPORTED TO THE POLICE FOR KIDNAPPING.

Ever kidnapped anyone? Been kidnapped?
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:26, Reply)
during my parents' particularly acrimonious splitup
My mum and dad did a car chase across thanet, resulting in my dad blocking mum's car into a cul-de-sac and pulling me out of her car and into his pickup, then squealing away. He didn't manage to get my brother, so I got a night away from my older sibling and a whole pizza to myself and I don't think I had to have a bath that night either, which was pretty good for a 7-year-old.

8/10 would be kidnapped again.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:30, Reply)
fucking hell man that's horrible

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:31, Reply)
whole
pizza
to
myself
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:34, Reply)
is that when you started piling on the weight?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:58, Reply)
or is that a more recent thing?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:58, Reply)
I just needed a spare tyre :(((

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:05, Reply)
I'm confused by the kids ex stuff

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:31, Reply)
Beefio is being threatened by a 9-year-old boy and is pussying out of a fight after school on Friday

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:35, Reply)
me too

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:39, Reply)
it's weird as fuck

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:58, Reply)
Why does your ex want you kid to go to her ex ? Does he have better custody rights than you

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:00, Reply)
I see his kid more often that he does

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:03, Reply)
She uses him as a babysitter and a cash cow
He pays for all their holidays and all sorts, yet they're no longer an item and have both been in other relationships since they split up.

Basically he's a colossal mug - but he also thinks it his place to lecture me on parenting, which is rich given that his own kid's a sullen, ill-mannered fat little cunt.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:21, Reply)
what a wanker

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:37, Reply)
a fat wanker an' all

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:43, Reply)
I'm sure you are a terrible parent,
but he's got no business looking after your kid.

Time to dust off that Hoffmeister Bear costume and camp out on his lawn. #beermascots4justice
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:45, Reply)
alright robin "robin johnson" johnson

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:20, Reply)
He was a special kind of wanker

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:30, Reply)
probably still is

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 20:22, Reply)
Your daughter's ex-boyfriend has been harassing you?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:34, Reply)
kid's mum's ex, excuse me

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:59, Reply)
why does she want her ex to have your kid?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:00, Reply)
This is all very suspicious.
Time for mcbeef to do a midnight flit.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:08, Reply)
she's buggering off to France for the weekend and dumping the child on him

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:22, Reply)
ah yeah, makes more sense to leave her with him than with her father I s'pose

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:26, Reply)
I wish my ex was so thoughtful

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:39, Reply)
I said I'd take her to school on Monday morning, nope, that's kidnapping apparently

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:44, Reply)
You could at least take her to Alton Towers.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:47, Reply)
Certainly not, how vulgar

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:54, Reply)
Nice and quiet on a schoolday. Almost worth the truancy fine.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 16:00, Reply)
Man, I love not having kids.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 16:21, Reply)
^^^^^

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 16:28, Reply)
^large amounts of this

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 16:30, Reply)
I always thought the same, but I can honestly say that even with the hell I've been through, being my kid's dad is the best thing in my entire life

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 17:33, Reply)
u r such a bender

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 18:20, Reply)
"she's turned the weans against us"

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:35, Reply)
is that from viz?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 18:56, Reply)
If my kid's ex was threatening me, I'd have led him off the road.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:55, Reply)
:)

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:59, Reply)
I once got into a stranger's car after falling off my bike when I was about 5 or 6, but he just drove me home and didn't bother kidnapping me

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:55, Reply)
I was an ugly child :(

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:56, Reply)
he raped the bike

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:06, Reply)
the raleigh tomahawk was a pretty sexy bike

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:10, Reply)
actually this might have been the bike I had before that one dunno

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:11, Reply)
you bike whore

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:11, Reply)
Years ago I bought my lad a diamond back BMX, he has suddenly this week decided to start using it , little oddball

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:15, Reply)
long time since I've ridden a BMX

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:19, Reply)
you wanna have a ride on mine?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:26, Reply)
my willy, I mean

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:26, Reply)
sure
I'll bunny hop it
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:30, Reply)
right on his bell-endo

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:45, Reply)

viz.co.uk/2014/09/24/clag-gone/
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 16:07, Reply)
do a tailwhip

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:21, Reply)
Some bloke stopped to ask me for directions, and I just got into his car, as it was easier just to show him where to go than try to give directions.
He seemed a bit freaked out, and I didn't twig why until later.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:06, Reply)
you were butt naked with a stonk on throughout the journey

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:13, Reply)
I offered to show him my puppies, then I had my way with him.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:19, Reply)
And 28

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 16:29, Reply)
I enjoyed that BBC getty drama last week, think the kidnapping will be this week

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:02, Reply)
always like a bit of Donald Sutherland

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:12, Reply)
something something troosers

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:23, Reply)
my wife wants to see that

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:23, Reply)
2nd part tonight

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:39, Reply)
I had Goo Lee a couple of days ago, dunno if he was left or right

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:13, Reply)
A former girlfriend's mate was kept locked up in a flat by her boyfriend.
She got away, they prosecuted, can't remember exactly what happened as a result. What I do remember is that years later we heard he'd got married, some kind of row with his wife, he murdered her, put her in a bath of acid.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:22, Reply)
wow, that's a little bit much

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:24, Reply)
yeah you wouldn't think you'd need a whole bathful

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:27, Reply)
must have cost a fair old whack

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:44, Reply)
I'd love to have seen that Amazon page
"people who bought 4 x 20l sulphuric acid pack also bought..."
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 16:10, Reply)
These things are important.
Otherwise you end up buying the wrong bathtub, ŗ la Jesse Pinkman.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 16:34, Reply)
Chop them up and flush them down the bog.
Leave some KFC wrappers lying around.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 16:43, Reply)
was he related to John George Haigh?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:44, Reply)
i haven't, but my parents thought i had
i was about 8 and refused to leave the park at the same time as my brother and sister. when i did try to mean, 2 bigger girls wouldn't let me out of the gate and threatened to beat me up. i hid in a bush till they left but, by the time i got back to the gate, it was locked. i sat on the swings for ages trying to think of what to do, until i remembered the park keeper. luckily for me, he was still in his little shed thing and he called the police to come and take me home. weirdest thing was when mum and dad reported me missing, the police went to the house and checked the chest freezer in case they'd killed me and put me in there.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:48, Reply)
hahaha

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:53, Reply)
sort of
this post was about a day that was already qotw "af" and then we got kidnapped. or abducted, detained, or whatevs

i don't want to talk about it though, obviously
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 18:15, Reply)
Woah

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 18:29, Reply)
woah is right, ma8

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 18:55, Reply)
I'm try to imagine it.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 18:32, Reply)
jfc man, get your shit together

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:19, Reply)
I'm not reading all that shit I type.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:31, Reply)
I bet it got sexual

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:01, Reply)
sort of, but not in the way you might think!

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:08, Reply)
I'm sure you've never once regretted having your kid
but shit like this really makes me think reproduction is a terrible idea and we should all stop doing it immediately.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:11, Reply)
BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY DONDICON!

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:20, Reply)
*jumps over barrel*

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 19:43, Reply)
He's not even in my top ten

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 20:11, Reply)
I keep getting hot sweats which Dr Internet reckons is probly AIDS
anyone else caught any hideous fatal illnesses recently?
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:17, Reply)
yes

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:19, Reply)
sweet

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:35, Reply)
it's prolly just the 'manopause' m8
Hey check these out, just ordered a pair:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Go_Otj-FJs

This will revolutionise my 45 djing, problem here is that now I'm going to need doubles of everything
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:22, Reply)
Can't click that at work, what is it?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:23, Reply)
Fancy Japanese slipmats for 45s
Basically you put 12" records on your decks and put the mats on top. They grip to the 12" so you can move your 45s back and forth by touching the 12", way easier
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:31, Reply)
I bet you'd love to touch a 12 incher.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:37, Reply)
Cool, I've generally stuck with 12 inches, I find 7 inches are over too quickly

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:46, Reply)
I've bought nothing but sevens for the past year or so
The rare occasions that I do play out these days are all strictly 45s nights so it makes sense - plus I find it hugely satisfying getting the proper original breakbeat records, because I am a massive hipster prick.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:57, Reply)

www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/what-sort-of-music-prick-are-you-20180919177469
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 13:24, Reply)
They don't have "classical music prick".
I feel excluded.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:21, Reply)
1, 3 and 5

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:29, Reply)
i can dig that

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:54, Reply)
had a touch of ebola last week, but I walked it off

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:25, Reply)
strikey wank lol

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:26, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:29, Reply)
oh that is lol

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:31, Reply)
my kid said she needed a wee when we were down by the river
so I whipped her trousers down and held her arms while she crouched, only for her to do a splatterfart all over a duck's nest.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:29, Reply)
When my boys were younger, I don't think any day out was ever complete until they'd pissed up at least one tree.
Glad my daughter never copied them.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:39, Reply)
She was attempting to communicate with them by arse quacks

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:55, Reply)
Duck that lives in pants, etc

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:09, Reply)
Quite so

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:10, Reply)
Yesterday I couldn't stop sneezing
so my head's probably going to explode or something.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:33, Reply)
Snuff bender?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:08, Reply)
Worst porn genre ever.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:12, Reply)
He's the man,
the man with the snuffy touch.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:26, Reply)
Opened a co-worker's drawer only to be confronted with spare pants

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:44, Reply)
you work with richard mcbeef

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:03, Reply)
It's a great idea, I just wish they'd been a bit more concealed

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:07, Reply)
and not soiled

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:11, Reply)
Didn't stop to check. Fairly sure that jason posted a story about sniffing someone's discarded pants that he found in a toilet, search is broken

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:17, Reply)
But why-fronts?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:12, Reply)
I did, but I released it back into the wild

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:53, Reply)
I'm feeling a bit wack, actually

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:33, Reply)
+ -a-day

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:35, Reply)

it w alls
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:40, Reply)

t w g bl
, actua wi
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 12:44, Reply)

eeling a bit wack, actual +for a white guy
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 13:31, Reply)
Cyrus virus

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 13:39, Reply)
did it come in and wreck your balls?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 13:54, Reply)
9mm, safety ALWAYS OFF.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:23, Reply)
it was the Warrrioorrrss

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:30, Reply)
should have put the bunny back in the box

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 15:50, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 6:36, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 6:56, Reply)
wotcha

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:27, Reply)
Lovely day for it

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:00, Reply)
28 degrees and wispy clouds
lovely start to autumn
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:28, Reply)

clouds paedo beard
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:41, Reply)

degrees inch waist
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:45, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:46, Reply)

autumn botcon 2016
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:06, Reply)
greeting's

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:45, Reply)
can't be doing with all these greengro'cers apost'rop'hes

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:46, Reply)
bit la di da di m8, who are you, Gyles Brandreth or sutin?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:47, Reply)
I will skullfuck Lynne Truss' withered corpse

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:49, Reply)
get in the queue pal, get in the queue

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:50, Reply)
There's little point in having rules if you can't sneer at all the thick people unable to follow them

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:52, Reply)
I bet you're great fun at sporting events

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:19, Reply)
Board games too

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:22, Reply)

Gyles Brandreth Slick Rick The Ruler
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:54, Reply)
^came to party

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:59, Reply)
I'll la your di until it's well fudking da'd

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 14:19, Reply)
wee and poo

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:46, Reply)
Terrible bullying of willenium.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:50, Reply)
alright emm emm

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:52, Reply)

👌
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:29, Reply)
he deserves it and he fucking well knows it

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:53, Reply)
I think you're being remarkably civil, considering his repeated intellectual property theft
send some lawyers round to fuck him over
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:56, Reply)
Kick it.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 7:58, Reply)
I kicked it to the kerb m8

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:05, Reply)
I thought Dennis Norden had died years ago.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:04, Reply)
pretty sure the FailArmy channel on Youtube were just animating his corpse
but they no longer have need for it
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:06, Reply)
Fingers crossed for Loyd Grossman next.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:11, Reply)
Choked on one of his own cheap and nasty pasta sauces

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:14, Reply)
"heugh can tell me, hwat's behejnd this dior?"
mimicked the humanist celebrant, as she consigned Grossman's coffin to the crematorium fire.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:15, Reply)
fucking hell, I just clicked a grry post

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:18, Reply)
I did that once
Shit design, having 'I like this!' right next to 'Hide' eh
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:37, Reply)
this website is appalling

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:43, Reply)

Strikethrough ppalling.

Massive waste of everybody's time.
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:20, Reply)
another victim of brexit

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:28, Reply)
No, he just retired from television and is now Dean of the Cu-hockup Acu-hademy

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:35, Reply)
spunk up a sparrow, it's 8:35!

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:35, Reply)
spit your glitter up a twitter's shitter m8

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:42, Reply)
shit it

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:37, Reply)
^talk's imodium

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:42, Reply)


______________$$$$$$$
_____________$$$$$$$$$
____________$$$$$$$$$$$
____________$$$$$$$$$$$
____________$$$$$$$$$$$
_____________$$$$$$$$$
_____$$$$$$_____$$$$$$$$$$
____$$$$$$$$__$$$$$$_____$$$
___$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_________$
___$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$______$__$
___$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_____$$$_$
___$$$$$$$$$$$__________$$$_$_____$$
____$$$$$$$$$____________$$_$$$$_$$$$
______$$$__$$__$$$______________$$$$
___________$$____$_______________$ -morning
____________$$____$______________$
_____________$$___$$$__________$$
_______________$$$_$$$$$$_$$$$$
________________$$____$$_$$$$$
_______________$$$$$___$$$$$$$$$$
_______________$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
_______________$$_$$$$$$$$$$$$$$__$$
_______________$$__$$$$$$$$$$$___$_$
______________$$$__$___$$$______$$$$
______________$$$_$__________$$_$$$$
______________$$$$$_________$$$$_$_$
_______________$$$$__________$$$__$$
_____$$$$_________$________________$
___$$$___$$______$$$_____________$$
__$___$$__$$_____$__$$$_____$$__$$
_$$____$___$_______$$$$$$$$$$$$$
_$$_____$___$_____$$$$$_$$___$$$
_$$_____$___$___$$$$____$____$$
__$_____$$__$$$$$$$____$$_$$$$$
__$$_____$___$_$$_____$__$__$$$$$$$$$$$$
___$_____$$__$_$_____$_$$$__$$__$______$$$
____$$_________$___$$_$___$$__$$_________$
_____$$_$$$$___$__$$__$__________________$
______$$____$__$$$____$__________________$
_______$____$__$_______$$______________$$
_______$$$$_$$$_________$$$$$$$__$$$$$$
__________$$$_________________$$$$$

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:41, Reply)
get bent, mousecuck

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:42, Reply)
aye, Disney gie a fuck ya cunt

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:44, Reply)
Yup

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:44, Reply)
feeling less old and ruined yet?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:45, Reply)
There are bits of banana in my keyboard

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:08, Reply)
up and at 'em

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:50, Reply)
you first

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:51, Reply)
you are the irritating sidekick shoehorned in to revive this failing flebsite

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:52, Reply)
aka the 'Scrappy Don't'

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:11, Reply)
Morning
Finally got a decent sleep
(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:38, Reply)
killed that pesky chicken?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:39, Reply)
Yeah I find killing the pesky chicken helps me sleep

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:53, Reply)
Curried the fucker

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 11:09, Reply)
Yo

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:48, Reply)
bit late for you

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 10:08, Reply)
I was up late

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 10:16, Reply)
I got soaked cycling to work and now I'm having to go commando.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 9:59, Reply)
lolincontinence

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 10:09, Reply)
Who are you going to kill last?

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 10:12, Reply)
two morning threads? anarchy

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 10:16, Reply)
Morning

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 6:34, Reply)
Catch that worm!

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 6:47, Reply)
William.

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 6:56, Reply)
Not happy
Spent a year helping someone who needed it and now being told they're not happy with the help I've given them because I've had a drink tonight. Fuck that bitch!
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 23:38, Reply)
Do a Get Carter on the bitch
and force her to down a bottle of whisky before dumping her in a quarry.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 23:50, Reply)
Yer but she *is* mental, dunno that anything she says is worth that much

(, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 0:15, Reply)
That was a good thread, nice one /chat
I turn 45 a week on Sunday, my wife's taking me somewhere fancy for dinner.

What are you getting me for my present? Better be good cos it's 'the big 4-5'
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:05, Reply)
I'll give you a 45bpm iykwim

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:07, Reply)
wow

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:11, Reply)
Only 4 UK 1973 out there, and that first one looks dodgy as fuck
www.chrono24.co.uk/search/index.htm?caseDiameter=40&countryIds=UK&dosearch=true&manufacturerIds=221&maxAgeInDays=0&pageSize=60&priceFrom=0&priceTo=-1&redirectToSearchIndex=true&sortorder=1&yearBought=1973
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:32, Reply)
Dodgy how?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:19, Reply)
I'm sure it's good enough for you.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:04, Reply)
It's cheap, the hands look different to the lume on the dial, and they call it a gmt in the advert, that may be a honest mistake but it's been polished enough to take metal off where the braclet meets the watch , I'd avoid it , been serviced tho

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:04, Reply)
I like the military one best I think

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:45, Reply)
Cut and shut tho, new everything except the cas3 and movement

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 23:24, Reply)
^Joe Pesci doesn't take shit-talking about his watch^

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:30, Reply)
I'm thinking of asking for the Samsung Galaxy Watch for my birthday.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:26, Reply)
Smart watches are shit for cunts.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:28, Reply)
It's not a watch, it's like calling a vcr a clock

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:02, Reply)
Digital watches are the best watches.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:15, Reply)
They sure are champ, but one day you'll learn to use a big boys clock ...

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:31, Reply)
Joking aside, I've always found reading an analogue clock face to be quicker and easier than a digital readout.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:53, Reply)
Did you click on that moon phase moser I posted, it's gorgeous

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:55, Reply)
No, I'd assumed that was scat porn.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:03, Reply)
Fair enough , it's a work of art tho

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:05, Reply)
Now I have, and I have to admit it's rather nice.
The simple plain face is very smart looking.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:07, Reply)
Did you click on the tech bit, the blackest black eva

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:48, Reply)
That's what your wife said about you

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:51, Reply)
You're listening to North Norfolk Digital.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:55, Reply)
HAHAHA
10/10 m8
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:57, Reply)
The good ones are called 'jump hour' watches.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:54, Reply)
In case anyone wonders why it was because the digit was displayed, hence digital watches

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:00, Reply)
Bet you can't get one for under a tenner in Argos.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:02, Reply)
I 'got' your nan for under a tenner round the back of Argos

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:47, Reply)

these £160 beauties

m.size.co.uk/product/grey-hi-tec-silver-shadow-rgs/083292/
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:22, Reply)
that's got to be the most generic middle-aged-dad-trainer out there

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:24, Reply)
that would be the Nike air monarch m8, no offence but you clearly donít know what youíre talking about

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:26, Reply)
Lol

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:17, Reply)
Or them walking boot trainer hybrid things.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:29, Reply)
I like merralls

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:03, Reply)
You know what I love those

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:18, Reply)
really? I quite like the blue/grey ones

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:35, Reply)
Plain grey for me
I wish they'd reissue their Tecs, b-boy hi top of choice in Winchester '83, I'd pay almost any price for a pair
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:57, Reply)
I used to give hi Tec to my mates when I was a shop boy in shoefayre, I worked 3 nights a week and got about 7 quid tho

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:06, Reply)
donít waste you are time wishing for the impossible Richard, thereís some glow in the dark yeezy bullshit on the way soon which youíll love

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:16, Reply)
Have you seen those super high air force 1s?
They are hilarious
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:37, Reply)
Y, well bent

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 23:47, Reply)
a kiss between the cheeks

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:23, Reply)
the butt cheeks! lol

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:23, Reply)
With the way his arse operates that really is quite the gift

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:38, Reply)
He's a braver man than I

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:18, Reply)

inews.co.uk/video/grandad-buys-huge-picture-of-forth-bridge-despite-having-same-view/
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:24, Reply)
What a fucking wanker

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:22, Reply)
You, I mean

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:22, Reply)
A naked portrait of Donald Trump
One 45 to another
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:33, Reply)
Apt

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:18, Reply)
A wrap and a half of whizz and three trips.
Really pushing the boat out here.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:13, Reply)
I'm touched

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:19, Reply)
£20 gift card for HF Stores Realisations Ltd

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:17, Reply)
Yessssssss

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:24, Reply)
Work got me a tenner m&s voucher for my birthday.
I'm blates going to end up troughing a meal deal for 2 + wine on me tod.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:49, Reply)
I've done that
they aren't bad. Well, for ready meal shit
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:57, Reply)
Better than socks eh.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:21, Reply)
defo
can't believe we live in a society where sick fucks give out M&S vouchers
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:44, Reply)
M$Soros m8

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:49, Reply)
These are what I really want
thevinylfactory.com/news/biz-markie-shows-off-the-worlds-only-pair-of-7-technics-turntables/
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:20, Reply)
lol, tiny hands

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:32, Reply)
Vestax make some 7" decks. I saw a bloke using one of them to mix with Serato.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:27, Reply)
I can't find them online unless you mean the portable ones
I have one of those in my wardrobe
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:00, Reply)
Are they just modded tho? Have technics said they deffo made them

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:01, Reply)
Not sure, Biz is a known bullshitter

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:53, Reply)
up the bum?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:30, Reply)
I'm the right age for an arse prod I suppose
Very nice gesture m8
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:43, Reply)
I BET IT IS

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:45, Reply)
Shock the colon
Peter gabriel
Alt: the clash
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:49, Reply)
Altalt: the bald twat who goes ERRRRRRR

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 19:50, Reply)
Dara O'Briain

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:22, Reply)
Hi, I'm DarERRRRRRR

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 21:23, Reply)
Hi, Im Benjamin Twilly Reznor.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 23:00, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8156398
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 23:09, Reply)
Are you referring to Dara Ó BriainERRRRRRRRRR?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 22:50, Reply)
do you remember the first time?
my eldest is off to his first gig tonight - 50 cent

what was your first gig?
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 15:51, Reply)
The Cult, Hammersmith Odeon March 14th 1987
Supported by half decent grebo act Crazyhead

www.setlist.fm/setlist/the-cult/1987/hammersmith-odeon-london-england-13d1d9d1.html

I was 14
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 15:54, Reply)
I cannot believe that was 31 years ago, blimmen heck

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 15:58, Reply)
lol old

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:02, Reply)
i no lol

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:04, Reply)
Did you not attend the def jam tour? That was great

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:07, Reply)
nope, missed that
I've never seen LL Cool J or Public Enemy as it goes. Imagine that!

I really, really wanted to go to UK Fresh 86 but my father was having none of it. Looking at the lineup I could cry:

GRANDMASTER FLASH
LOVEBUG STARSKI
HASHIM
SIR MIXALOT
ROXANNE SHANTE
DR JECKYLL & MR HYDE
STEADY B
WORD OF MOUTH & DJ CHEESE
THE REAL ROXANNE & HITMAN HOWIE TEE
MANTRONIX
THE WORLD CLASS WRECKIN KRU
ALEEM
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:11, Reply)
I went to the def jam 87 I think, and went to public enemy 88 I think

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:12, Reply)
nice work

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:16, Reply)
even I've seen public enemy

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:15, Reply)
me too

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:16, Reply)
I don't like them, I've a few of their records purely for the instrumentals
The beats are great, Chuck D's monotonous hectoring does nothing for me at all
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:17, Reply)
in fact I'd go as far as to say I find him really irritating
Nation of Islam are a bunch of cunts an' all
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:17, Reply)
I liked him because he always seemed angry

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:19, Reply)
I don't like to be told off by my musicians

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:23, Reply)
It was a bit polarizing when he asked all the white people to make some noise at Hammersmith

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:28, Reply)
the noise being 'A PUBLIC APOLOGY FOR THE SLAVE TRADE'

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:35, Reply)
LL Cool J is seriously cute

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:19, Reply)
He was a fantastic MC in his prime

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:19, Reply)
You ladies

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:20, Reply)
That was Beyonce m8

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:36, Reply)
Iron Maiden, Birmingham NEC December 15th 1990
Supported by half decent thrash act Anthrax

www.setlist.fm/setlist/iron-maiden/1990/nec-arena-birmingham-england-1bd395a8.html

I was 14
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:06, Reply)
I cannot believe that was 28 years ago, blimmen heck

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:06, Reply)
Carter USM or The River Detectives probably.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 15:57, Reply)
I saw Carter at the Treworgey Tree Fayre, they were fucking rubbish

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 15:58, Reply)
They were ok in 1987

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 15:59, Reply)
Plus Fruitbat rugbytackled
Philip Schofield.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:10, Reply)
not as good as Shakin Stevens giving a very young Richard Madeley a noogie whilst blatantly pissed off his lid

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:12, Reply)
just googled that
brilliant
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:19, Reply)
one of my favourite tv clips ever, up there with keegan on superstars
I fucken love Shaky, he's hilarious.

His first big gig was opening for the Stones, shaky fact fans
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:24, Reply)
They were no Sultans of Ping FC

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:36, Reply)
*winces*

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:38, Reply)
Where's your jumper, Richard?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:42, Reply)
This is where I post my utterly dull anecdote about their lead singer
tl;dr I used to see him all the time in Tufnell Park tube station
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:47, Reply)
I don't think I'd know who he was if he were to accost me in the street, hand me a jumper, and scream "there's me jumper" into my face.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:53, Reply)
for quite some time it felt like every time I got in the lift at the station he was in it too
my DJ partner said the same thing

Maybe he worked for London Underground, I don't suppose that band paid well. We used to call him 'the Sultan'
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:58, Reply)
Green Day at the MK Bowl.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 15:59, Reply)
alright chompy

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:02, Reply)
I'll defend them to anyone, they've sold loads of records so they must be really good

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:04, Reply)
Should have been Queen at wembley in 86
But the parents put a stop to it. First concert was space
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:03, Reply)
unlucky m8


(on both counts)
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:05, Reply)
I like space

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:20, Reply)
Dunno

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:04, Reply)
any bands playing in the local this month?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:07, Reply)
I fucking hope not , my mates pub will have stuff on

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:08, Reply)
yeah when's the next pub rave?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:13, Reply)
This Saturday, I've got my kids tho

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:17, Reply)
never too young to get on the pills
just give them a half to start with
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:18, Reply)
With my lads adhd that could be a hoot, or maybe calm him right down

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:21, Reply)
they give kids whizz for that don't they?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:25, Reply)
acid is the latest cure all

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:29, Reply)
I'm microdosing as I type this

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:35, Reply)
Yeah that's what's in his pills

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:31, Reply)

www.instagram.com/p/Bn138nClfeH/
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:08, Reply)
Lol, skills

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:10, Reply)
I always wondered what happened to that Freddie Mercury lad

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:15, Reply)
woah

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:17, Reply)
Mezzoforte, Dominion, early 80's
jazz funk yo
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:17, Reply)
I bet Lindup was there

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:19, Reply)
Lindup was supplying the marching powder

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:20, Reply)
the 'jazz talc'

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:27, Reply)
I was in a band so just saw whoever else was on the lineup
Have no idea. I think the first band I really deliberately went out of my way to see was A Certain Ratio.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:30, Reply)

e d
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:34, Reply)
ACR's 'Do the Du' has a decent breakbeat on it

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:37, Reply)
I think it was Thunder.
Tail end of the 90s sometime.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:50, Reply)
Mansun at the Margate Winter Gardens when I was 14
I held hands with a girl
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:55, Reply)
^ gay

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:56, Reply)
I fucked her up the arse a year or so later

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:22, Reply)
the lead singer of Mansun, I mean

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 17:22, Reply)
Dunno, can't remember.
I haven't been to that many non-classical gigs.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 16:57, Reply)
about 20 quid i think

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 20:52, Reply)
Threads, like clothes and stuff.
What's your favourite/most sentimentally valuable item of clothing?
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:40, Reply)
I've got a pair of green All-stars that I bought with my first wage in Poland
they're all torn and split and scuffed so I only wear them on special occasions.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:43, Reply)
They've got that 'vintage' look now.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:51, Reply)
they fucking are
14 years I've had them, and still haven't worn through the sole yet
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:56, Reply)
I got a pair of those, too
Replaced my much loved and utterly knackered blue ones
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:46, Reply)
Gaultier jacket
absolutely loved it. Until the moths got to it now it has a hole in the chest.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:45, Reply)
A Google search for "Gaultier jacket" has just turned up a staggeringly wide range of possibilities.
Then again it's fair to assume that he's designed more than one jacket over the course of his lifetime.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:52, Reply)
I keep a pair of your nan's knickers for wanking into

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:47, Reply)
Here, have a "You Tried" smiley face sticker.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:52, Reply)
just trying to make the best of a shit thread

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:57, Reply)
^ handbags

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:28, Reply)
Bra

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:05, Reply)
Have nips with that

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:06, Reply)
:)

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:12, Reply)
padded or nips?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:13, Reply)
I hope it's nips, it's nips

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:20, Reply)
*rolls eyes*
nips!
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:28, Reply)
+ the knights who say

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:28, Reply)
crotchless tights

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:07, Reply)
cor!

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:27, Reply)
Customized bra
It's got pockets in it
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:37, Reply)
pockets for your tits, you dopey mare

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:41, Reply)
Pockets I added myself
For money and suchlike
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:44, Reply)
are you that type that digs around in your cleavage for sweat-soaked notes at the corner shop?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:47, Reply)
I don't sweat for some reason
And you can stash other things than money
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:34, Reply)
Women's clothes seem to be short on pockets in general, for whatever reason.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:56, Reply)
They are indeed
And I have very small hands
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:35, Reply)
PWEI t-shirt my late mate Bob bought me for a surprise at a gig when he said he was away for a smoke.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 13:57, Reply)
Luvlee.
"On Friday 26 August 2016, PWEI headlined the opening day of Infest (festival), with Fuzz Townshend rejoining on drums." - Wikipedia
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:02, Reply)
I never fucking knew Fuzz Townshend was in PWEI
he's the main mechanic for Practical Classics magazine
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:03, Reply)
He's clearly a man of many talents.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:16, Reply)
I never fucking knew Fuzz Townshend was in PWEI
he's the head curator at the Edinburgh Egg museum
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:18, Reply)
3/4 length leather jacket
I got from Camden Market in 2003. I slipped and fell against railings and one managed to stab through the armpit and out through the shoulder without touching me. It looks a bit fucked now but I still love it.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:05, Reply)
Blimey.
I've got a full-length one from Camden Market in my wardrobe. I thought it was gorgeous when I bought it but the appeal thinned a bit when everyone called me 'Matrix' for the following month.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:08, Reply)

Matrix Supermatt
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:11, Reply)
OK I'm rissing now.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:13, Reply)
supermat was a weird downs-y looking bloke from about 10 years ago
who favoured that sort of leatherwear and got called a paedo a lot
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:18, Reply)
I see.
Does dressing in leather make you a paedo or did he used to get called that because he actually was a nonce?
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:20, Reply)
all I can say is that he fucking looked like one
Latterly he got into swing dancing, which in turn made him look like a nonce from the 1940s
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:38, Reply)
Swing dancing is the gateway drug to Northern Soul.
He's probably staggering around on dancefloors now wearing baggy trousers and looking like a drunken middle-aged NKOTB fan.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 15:03, Reply)
I'll tell you something about trenchcoats

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:20, Reply)
Go on then.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:26, Reply)
Trenchcoats are about being confident with yourself.
Trenchcoats are about having the stones to dress in leather and enter the matrix convention with 1000s of people, knowing no one there, but coming out having met a number of wonderful redpill cosplayers, and befriending them all.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:59, Reply)
only paedos wear them

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:36, Reply)
^

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:39, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/7659987
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:41, Reply)
Well I never.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:54, Reply)
lol, that takes me back

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 15:52, Reply)
I also did this and was called Neo
every time I wore it. The lapels weren't good enough.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 18:16, Reply)
I've got a t shirt that Crazy Legs of Rock Steady Crew gave me back in the 90s, it's fucking awesome

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:21, Reply)

Crazy Legs of Bebop and
Crew

images.vinted.net/thumbs/f800/03af4_H7NCUFBYCK68xwJ4yFiPvvmj.jpeg
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:25, Reply)
Did he, like, write his name on it and everything?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:27, Reply)
no m8

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 14:37, Reply)
lunchtime thread

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:05, Reply)
nommy sammiches

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:10, Reply)
some kind of pasta bollocks, nuff said pal

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:12, Reply)
LBC did a story on a
guy who won't change his shops name 'Good egg' despite learning it could be considered racist. Apparently the origin of the phrase is rhyming slang - egg and spoon.

Who on earth is their researcher? Who comes up with this shit?!
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:36, Reply)
Richard McBeef

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:38, Reply)
might have some food
I finished off those ration packs on my road trip, and they were better than some of the service station meals I experienced.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:13, Reply)
I envy you your lifestyle.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:14, Reply)
my life is pretty great
yesterday I got to be a chatbot
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:28, Reply)
Probably fewer out of date, too

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:21, Reply)
my wife said "this tuna pasta's pretty tasty
considering someone cooked it three years ago".
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:28, Reply)
The service station boss was doing cartwheels out the back that someone had finally bought it

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:30, Reply)
Not that hungry
Might have a snack stop or something. Got some really good hot chillies given to me, so I'm doing a chicken curry tonight
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:15, Reply)
what time does your lunch break finish?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:17, Reply)
I hope you get banned again

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:19, Reply)
Bras!

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:19, Reply)
That was meant to say braw!

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:19, Reply)
Nobody believes you, we know about your bra fixation.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:22, Reply)
Actually eating them is a bit much though

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:23, Reply)
Playtex-mex

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:26, Reply)
bra-twurst

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:29, Reply)
Straplessagna

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:33, Reply)
eggy cups

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:29, Reply)
falafel

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:27, Reply)
nothing, what's falafel with you?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:29, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:42, Reply)
I've noticed a steady rise in people (almost all girls) that I went to school with,
After having kids and those kids now being of school age, are getting in to the weird marketing scam things where you try to sell shitty candles or second rate make up on Facebook or have sales parties. I thought it was a distinctly American phenomena, but it's awful.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:50, Reply)
it's what happens when you've slouched through your 30s with no discernable skills
but the idea of putting any effort into your life still seems unappealing
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:53, Reply)
discernible

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:55, Reply)
I'll nible you in a minute

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:01, Reply)
Yeah, I guess 5 to 7 years of just staying at home doesn't give you much for the job market.
Obviously raising kids is hard work, but I suppose it must be tough to get back in to it. Although I think it must take a special kind of stupid to go for those marketing things.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:56, Reply)
Look at these , the black ones stunning
www.h-moser.com/en/
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:56, Reply)
always with the moser links

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:02, Reply)
You can see it's moon

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:07, Reply)
On the hour it spurts shit into your mouth

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:28, Reply)
yes, my mate's wife did this
the thing is she had an alright marketing job before. I avoided him and her until she fucked it off
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:13, Reply)
I don't get it.
Surely even if you've got gullible mates you're just leeching off the kindness of others.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:16, Reply)
I think they fall into the scam themselves thinking they can make good money fast

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:18, Reply)
Everything American seems to
end up here eventually. It's like having a basement flat on a really shitty litter filled street.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:31, Reply)
My other half's stepsister is part of that Forever Living aloe vera juice pyramid scheme/cult thing.
She's been at it for years, and used to insist that she was on track to move up a rung and start making serious money. Mind you, she hasn't said much about it recently.

She's in her 40s, and still lives with her mum.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:44, Reply)
Hi m'8!

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:50, Reply)
hello unknown confirmed returning user!

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:52, Reply)
wotcha pal

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:52, Reply)
not sure I've ever had a pal before

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:54, Reply)
It's dozer. You don't want a pal

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:57, Reply)
I prefer winnalot

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:02, Reply)
is it ntsc in poland?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:03, Reply)
2nerdy4me

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:37, Reply)
Typically the Eastern Bloc used SECAM, it travels further and meant you couldn't tune into western broadcasts.
Well, not in colour anyway.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:55, Reply)
Nonsense, it picks up Songs Of Praise perfectly.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 11:15, Reply)
Hi
Entire DLR suspended today ffs
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:59, Reply)
was it caught smoking behind the bike sheds?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:02, Reply)
nah, selling bongo mags at breaktime

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:20, Reply)
the kids at my school wouldn't sell them
but he'd lock you in one of the practice rooms of the music hall with one for five minutes for a quid.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:42, Reply)
Want me to write a strongly worded email to TfL

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:06, Reply)
that would be great, thanks man

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:20, Reply)
4 the mare

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:40, Reply)
Spindoctors mix?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:36, Reply)
what a bunch of rotters

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:08, Reply)
bounders, to a man

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:20, Reply)
suspended from what?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:21, Reply)
operation, you stupid boy

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:44, Reply)
how can an old board game support an entire automated light metro system?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:51, Reply)
if you don't have a ticket, the conductor's nose lights up red

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:52, Reply)
the government should probably redirect more public money towards helping you get to work

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:48, Reply)
the government should pay for taxis for me

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:50, Reply)
hallo

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:09, Reply)
alright IP address

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:11, Reply)
the subnet masked avenger!
or something
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:34, Reply)
drimbo

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:14, Reply)
dude

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:13, Reply)
sentimental scouser

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:14, Reply)
trent reznor's wife is well doable

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:17, Reply)
Mariqueen Mandig would FUCKING GET IT
It's good to see Mr Reznor in good physical and mental health tho innit.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:22, Reply)
he's shit and a prick, so I couldn't give a fucking toss

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:45, Reply)
#edgbaston

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:47, Reply)
HIS COVER OF 'A BOY NAMED SUE' BY WILLIE NELSON IS AMAAAAAAZING

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:49, Reply)
I remember that Vagabond actually thought it was a Cash song.
The painfully unfunny prick.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:52, Reply)
You, I mean

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:53, Reply)
Vagabond, I mean oh hahaha

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:54, Reply)
their joint album thingo was soporific though

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:31, Reply)
yeah it wasn't great eh
He's never going to make another record as good as The Downward Spiral.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:39, Reply)
I come back to the Fragile more than the Downward Spiral

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:42, Reply)
The Fragile was a massive disappointment.
Half of it should have gone in the fucking bin.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:46, Reply)
yer, I suspect you could make a decent cut of the two discs and just release one tight album
but I get the feeling Trent is so prolific that the two discs are already the best cuts of all the shit he churned out in that period.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:49, Reply)
exactly
Then again, quality control goes right out the window when cocaine's involved.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:53, Reply)
Have you been at the cocaine today, then?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:16, Reply)
Predictable, Rich. Predictable.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:17, Reply)
fixed
0_o
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:39, Reply)
joints often are

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:31, Reply)
totally

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:17, Reply)
The story of life is quicker than the wink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye ... until we meet again

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:47, Reply)
bye m8

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:49, Reply)
see ya

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:51, Reply)
sounds bent
die in a fire
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:51, Reply)

in a fire choking on vomit
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:55, Reply)
Laters bro

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:26, Reply)
aw taking these replies to mean you all love me

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:54, Reply)
What a piece of work is a flange.
How noble in reemson, how infinite in fuckulty.

It appears to be Tuesday again.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:13, Reply)
lol flange

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:26, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:30, Reply)
Morning
I keep waking up at 4 and not being able to get back to sleep. Doing my head in now.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:20, Reply)
I am no stranger to this situation
Shit innit
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:23, Reply)
Indeed.
I'm not thinking straight due to lack of sleep and I'm gradually losing my rag
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:38, Reply)
sell your cockerel
lol cock
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:26, Reply)
Waking up to the sound of a cockerel is actually quite pleasant

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:39, Reply)
no it isn't, the stupid creatures start too early and then don't shut up for ages

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:53, Reply)
^

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:04, Reply)
The farm behind my aunt's house had a cockerel
Didn't kick off till after 7 and shut up within 5 minutes
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:12, Reply)

The farm behind 's house erel
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:32, Reply)
go to bed at 4.30

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:42, Reply)
I am still somewhat stupid after the weekend
fortunately my boss isn't in this week so I don't have to explain what I'm doing.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:29, Reply)
naughty boy

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:34, Reply)
I'm saying you look like a fat asian pop music producer, here

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:35, Reply)
What does fat Asian pop sound like?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:25, Reply)
Brimful of Rashers

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:26, Reply)
K-pop-tarts?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 12:07, Reply)
morning bottom

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:47, Reply)
the moon comes up with the sun

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:48, Reply)
saucy

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:52, Reply)
morning the young ones

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:52, Reply)
morning filthy rich and catflap

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:53, Reply)
morning quad bike

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 9:55, Reply)
Top kek

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 10:12, Reply)
Morning
Nice weather we've been having lately.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 6:31, Reply)
Where are you?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 6:36, Reply)
Up the bum

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:18, Reply)
Curb your enthusiasm.

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 6:43, Reply)
The stats page is read by paedos

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:08, Reply)
Alright 'Michael Fish'
Storm Helene has blown all my patio plants over
(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:26, Reply)
Is the greenhouse okay

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:28, Reply)
And the black man who lives inside it

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:28, Reply)
He sends his fond regards x

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 7:43, Reply)
Why's there a black man in your greenhouse?

(, Tue 18 Sep 2018, 8:25, Reply)

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