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lol
lol
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:14, Reply)
lol
lol
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:23, Reply)
l
o
l
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:24, Reply)
*trumps*
lol
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:26, Reply)
*bidens*
lol
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:26, Reply)
*lols*
lol
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:29, Reply)
*lol*
lol
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:34, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:58, Reply)
Please try to grow up. You lot act like stupid kids.

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:46, Reply)

lol
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:48, Reply)

Show some respect to those who still have some time and love this place. If you don't like it then stop whining and feck off and leave us alone from your childish pranks.
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 17:10, Reply)
Dude, I was only joking. :(

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 17:15, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 17:59, Reply)
actual morning thread
wife and kid snoozing, bit bored
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 9:57, Reply)
going have a crack at this l8r
www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/lemon_and_ricotta_28534
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 10:02, Reply)
Well I hope you paid your license fee

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 14:20, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 10:03, Reply)
watching a doc on the Litvinenko pollonium poisoning
it's mental
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 10:10, Reply)
yeah, Putin doesn't give a shit does he?

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 10:13, Reply)
Total impunity, comical denials. It’s a weapon in itself.

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 14:24, Reply)
Wake them up with some killer curry guffs, would be my advice.

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 10:20, Reply)
Whamzzzz

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 11:20, Reply)
cheesy guffs would be a Dutch oven?

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 13:37, Reply)
Done my work, couple in the spoons now

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 11:21, Reply)
Urgh

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 12:51, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:12, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:14, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 15:58, Reply)
idgi

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 17:42, Reply)
It's very quiet in here
Too quiet
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 4:36, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 8:51, Reply)
Considering the people who use this part of the site,
I'd say it's not yet quiet enough.
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 14:28, Reply)
So another MP has been murdered.
I've only heard of David Amess because he was on the Cake episode of Brass Eye.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:51, Reply)
I hadn't heard of him before today
but I don't vote conservative, so that's hardly surprising
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:54, Reply)
You've heard of Boris Johnson though, right?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 20:21, Reply)
I would love to give him the bacon slicer treatment

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 23:40, Reply)
So much for my quiet night
My mate turned up with 3 bags and a litre of dark rum. She's just left and I'm absolutely twisted
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 1:09, Reply)
I just tried to check my texts on my DVD remote
Time for bed.
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 3:27, Reply)
Ooh, edgy.

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 8:44, Reply)
You want to stick your penis in him?

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 9:54, Reply)
3 women a week are murdered by their partner or an ex

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 18:10, Reply)
good point

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 18:14, Reply)
That was me m8

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 18:46, Reply)
well if you could rein it in it would be appreciated

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 19:14, Reply)
Don’t you think there should be a vote?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 19:21, Reply)

or an e and my a
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 20:22, Reply)
dude

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 20:49, Reply)
DUDE

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 20:50, Reply)
Check the teenage boy figures being killed or suicide, it appears it would blow your mind

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 21:04, Reply)
ONLY ONE GENDER MAY HAVE A HARD TIME AT A TIME, PLEASE

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 21:59, Reply)
I always forget male suicide is just a issue of the patriarchal system I'm a unwitting host of , I'm soz.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 22:48, Reply)
Yeah but think about it
Who is responsible for killing young male suicides? Men. Men are to blame.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 23:49, Reply)
it's a symptom of the same toxic masculinity that obkectifies women
living in the 'man box' destroys male lives just as much as womens
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 23:53, Reply)
I’ve never lived in a man box, it sounds dreadful.

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 3:50, Reply)
Young males suffer due to toxic masculinity
They've been conditioned to believe that they can't talk about their problems
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 1:12, Reply)
This is certainly a part of it, although I'm not sure it explains everything, such as why so many young men have such severe problems in the first place.

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 11:43, Reply)
Everyone should keep their problems to themselves.
The NHS can't cope with the current tidal wave of beakering pricks.
(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 17:14, Reply)
Always the same three? What are the odds?

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 3:53, Reply)
Pritti Patel not losing an opportunity to propose new social control measures I see
she is such a fucking fascist
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 18:28, Reply)
faster than i expected
but i did expect it
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 18:30, Reply)
pretty face, bricklayer's body
I'm SUCH a misogynist!!
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 19:23, Reply)

misogynist prick
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 19:45, Reply)
They're not mutually incompatible.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 20:50, Reply)
When the news started to break, I hoped he was only mildly injured
so I could say "might have been worse, he could have been fukd and bombd"
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 20:24, Reply)
Shatner's Bassoon, etc. etc.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 20:51, Reply)
it's a fookin disgrace

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 21:14, Reply)
people say that alcohol's a drug.
But it's not a drug. It's a drink.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 21:52, Reply)
It’s enough to make you want to throw up your own pelvis.

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 3:51, Reply)
well that was a load of shit eh
up to owt on the weekend? fuck all here
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 15:50, Reply)
I fully intend to get shitfaced and watch crap films
so no change there, then
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:08, Reply)
have you ever tried getting crapfaced and watch shit films?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:18, Reply)
just to shake things up, you mean?
yeah, i tried that
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:24, Reply)
I gather it wasn't a life changing experience

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:29, Reply)
not really, no

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:34, Reply)
might have a marathon mid-00s tribal house session, loads of Siesta Recordings, H-Foundation, Tyrant, NRK recordings etc.
I'll 'lay down a set' and send all of you the mixcloud link!!!!
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:23, Reply)
why not 'lay down in the road' instead

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 18:11, Reply)
the M4 is lovely at this time of year

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 18:47, Reply)
Working tomorrow, stuck him on ignore for a bit to much Mr meecee

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:25, Reply)
I've got the nipper for the weekend but I expect she'll be out with her pals tomorrow daytime
I'm chuffed to bits to see a bit of independence from her at last
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:29, Reply)
That's good stuff

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:59, Reply)
Running a marathon
Then consuming as much beer and curry as humanly possible.

Followed by morning guffs that could strip paint
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:35, Reply)
cheers

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:36, Reply)
^ is this online hate speech?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:41, Reply)
yes

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:46, Reply)
Pleased to meet you, ohs

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:47, Reply)
thanks cheers, the pleasure is all mine m8

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:48, Reply)
best of luck m8

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:40, Reply)
Cheers m8

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:41, Reply)
that sounds great
apart from the marathon, obviously
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:42, Reply)
Yes I think I’ll enjoy the 2nd part more

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:43, Reply)
i'm sure you will

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 16:51, Reply)
feeding my neighbours' cat while they bugger off to Germany for the weekend

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:33, Reply)
all weekend? how big is this fucking cat?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:34, Reply)
oh ho!

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:35, Reply)
It'll be pretty massive by Sunday evening, by the sound of it.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:35, Reply)
He means the neighbors. He’s feeding his neighbors (who are apparently German cat buggerers) on behalf of Canadian pop-rock group The Weekend.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 19:28, Reply)

off to the entire population of
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:36, Reply)
that reminds me, i need dreamies

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:38, Reply)
Not clicking that, probably gay porn.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 12:29, Reply)
They look quite dull for the price
I'd rather have converse all stars
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 12:32, Reply)
'for the price'?
That's the normal price of a pair of trainers.

What do a pair of chucks cost these days? Last time I had any converse was in the 90s, a pair of black suede One Stars.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 12:34, Reply)
just under £40

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 12:35, Reply)
I wouldn't pay £75 for white trainers with shit-coloured trim

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 12:42, Reply)
ok, well now I know that my day has improved immeasurably.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 12:45, Reply)
What are you wearing right now?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 19:27, Reply)
a smile

(, Sat 16 Oct 2021, 10:27, Reply)
I have a much better idea for you, you should get this:


fucked
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 12:34, Reply)
Edgy.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 12:37, Reply)
^Bono-y

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 12:44, Reply)

d g
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 14:40, Reply)
-y +ing

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 19:26, Reply)
we are all blind cave fish in the uterus of love

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 13:12, Reply)
Shoes are a great way to protect your feet when walking.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 13:24, Reply)
nah m8 these
wheretoget.com/look/2746742
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 14:04, Reply)
nah ma8 get this:




fucked
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 14:10, Reply)
shockingly original

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 14:32, Reply)
hi sticklebricks, here's an idea, take your b3ta.com/talk reply there and STICK IT UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 14:34, Reply)
^Not in the least bit triggered

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 14:40, Reply)
Hi, I'd like to offer that same advice to occasional poster 'Mr. Tea'!

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 14:43, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8313711
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:26, Reply)
^upset

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 14:54, Reply)
like you wouldn't believe

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 15:13, Reply)
GD MRNNG
Anyone like my edgy new branding?
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:41, Reply)
wow, you bet I do!

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:46, Reply)
haha, 'N'!

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:46, Reply)
I see Steve Albini has finally apologised for being a lifelong dickwad

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:47, Reply)
I have literally no interest in anything he has said or done in his entire life
I'm sure this bothers him a great deal
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:55, Reply)
Who is this person?
should I care?
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:58, Reply)
tedious American musician and producer

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:03, Reply)
I've been listening to Dua Lipa
I've not listened to young peopele's music in years. It's quite interesting, not bad some of it.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:06, Reply)
she is fucking gorgeous
Lost on you though mate :'(
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:19, Reply)
You're talking like she's my neighbour
and keeps coming around and taking her clothes off in my front room then storming off in a huff because I'm not bothered. I've listened to one of her songs that's got a particularly good bass guitar part and I'm trying to learn it.

That's it.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:17, Reply)
No, I'm not.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:28, Reply)
Funnily enough she actually is my neighbour and does this all the time

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:34, Reply)
cor!

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:38, Reply)
How many cups of sugar does she have now?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 13:16, Reply)
Queef was a pop star in his yoof, fact fans.
He went by the stage name of Dua Pu.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 17:39, Reply)
I'm on an 80s dancehall tip at the moment

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:24, Reply)
mid-00s tribal house here

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:30, Reply)
christ

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:32, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:34, Reply)
there were some great records at that time, plus it coincided with my peak clubbing and caning years

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:36, Reply)
no there weren't m8

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:39, Reply)
yeah there were, just you were too old and jaded to enjoy them

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:40, Reply)
Even the name of the genre makes me do a little cringe.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:47, Reply)
dance music is riven with shit names for its subgenres

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:51, Reply)
This has good memories
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXCN1DhHTZA
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:13, Reply)
that came out when I was a kid, lol old

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:29, Reply)

that I
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:27, Reply)
haha, imagine being bent!

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:30, Reply)
hate speech is banned on here m8

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:34, Reply)
just to explain this post here for the less intelligent poster, I am poking fun at homophobic attitudes such as that displayed by QR in his joke about 'coming out'.
OK???????????????????????
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 14:44, Reply)
I saw a live PA of that at the Brunel Rooms in Swindon a month or so before it came out
It had a revolving bar which was really fucking confusing when you're pilled off your tits.

Samples this, if you care: www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2fcDbCrBKU

It still samples that even if you don't. Both great records.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:38, Reply)
I always seem to think she sang dance monkey
Even though she didn't
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:46, Reply)
It's very noughties nu-metal.
The 00s must be due for a revival now, so you're ahead of the curve.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:55, Reply)
dozer will finally be 'cool' with his in-depth knowledge of 'Korn' and 'Linkin Park'

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:04, Reply)
They're good, but they're no lostprophets.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:06, Reply)
Someone's summoning the banhammer....

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:06, Reply)
I'll never forget the judge's words as he handed down a 35 year sentence:
"ur b& lol"
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:11, Reply)
MEGA LOLZ

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:20, Reply)
don't forget about Alien Ant Farm mate, they were shitting brilliant!!!

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:20, Reply)
I'm so glad that everyone remembers all their other songs apart from their cover of 'Smooth Criminal'.
It would be a terrible shame if 100% of their ongoing royalties went to the estate of Michael Jackson.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:32, Reply)
wait, they did other songs?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:40, Reply)
er, SOMEONE's forgetting about that classic song of theirs, 'Movies'.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:51, Reply)
Is d*z*r still a bellend?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:27, Reply)
he's top-five 'BOH', that's what I heard

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:31, Reply)
I heard he touches animal bottoms
And is a bit of a bellend. The internet is ablaze with it
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:33, Reply)
it is possible to be top-five 'BOH', as well as being a toucher of animal bottoms and a bit of a bellend.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:37, Reply)
I'll give d*z *r that
If he agrees he smells of weewee
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:23, Reply)
It's OK, I suppose

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:47, Reply)
PKK S FCK

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:01, Reply)
LRGHT JM LVR

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:18, Reply)
Some friends of our have a Downes syndrome kid
(they're religious so they didn't abort when they were told). Anyway, he's been going to a regular school but now he's started going to a special needs school and comes home making fun of all the other kids' disabilities. It's horrible but fucking hilarious - people are vile aren't they?
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:22, Reply)
how come it's only your type that use the word 'vile'?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 10:30, Reply)
You mean teh gheys?

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:10, Reply)
Y

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:18, Reply)
got some gong on the go now
youtu.be/dbYNgCyhHIA
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:01, Reply)
CHRS

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 11:23, Reply)
morning thread

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 7:52, Reply)
reply

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:00, Reply)
reply

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:46, Reply)
Morning
Friday is recycling day so was woken by the clattering smashing of glass at 6am.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:02, Reply)
I'm sleeping terribly at the moment, not helped by foxes making a horrible racket at about 5:30
the cunts
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:10, Reply)
morning fuck yeah friday ding dong

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:05, Reply)
I'm pretty racist, just sayin

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:46, Reply)
That was a fucking long opera
No idea what the hell was going on for 3 and a half hours
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 23:35, Reply)
Philistine

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 0:03, Reply)
Well the whole fucking thing was in Sanskrit
and they turned the subtitles off to make sure it was extra cultural so we'd not be distracted by knowing what the fucking hell was going on and just concentrate on the performance.

Being fair it was one of the most brilliantly staged pieces I've ever seen, but it did go on. And on. And on. And on.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 8:01, Reply)
I’ve never been to an opera because I don’t like the singing. Except that Nissan Dorma, I like that one because it’s about football. And about cars, probably.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 3:16, Reply)
It's about the sunroof in someone's family hatchback

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 7:59, Reply)
The rabbit disguised himself as a busty blonde woman
So the little fat hunter wouldn't shoot him. What's not to understand?
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 9:51, Reply)
SHIT OFF
not really, hullo
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 13:52, Reply)
hallo

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 13:55, Reply)
Lionel Ritchie's song would have been better if he'd sung

hullo
NOT REALLY, SHIT OFF
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 13:55, Reply)
it really would

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 13:59, Reply)
IS IT ME YOU’RE LOOKNG AT, SHIT OFF

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 18:03, Reply)
22 positions in a one night stand

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 21:17, Reply)
You sexy motherfucker! Where have you been micto?

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 22:34, Reply)
I agree, it has been a while

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 22:49, Reply)
Wherever it was, looks like he’s buggered off back there.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 3:19, Reply)
Hello
My red dwarf breakfast has resulted in the most unholy eggy guffs
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:00, Reply)
leftover chicken tikka and pilau rice here, did a bbq in the dark last night
it was fackin lavly
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:02, Reply)
Not even though about what to make for dinner
Still full
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:04, Reply)
pizza tonight cba cooking
I've got a duck in the freezer and big plans for it for Sunday lunch: slow-roasted and glazed, and with a port and redcurrant sauce. And gout.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:15, Reply)
An ex of mine once made duck a l'orange
He was trying to impress me. It managed to be both undercooked and horribly fatty
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:27, Reply)
Yes, but what was the duck like?

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:37, Reply)
hopefully he didn't present with you the bill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:43, Reply)
Dear God, make it stop

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:00, Reply)
is it making you feel down?

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:18, Reply)
it's driving her quackers

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:18, Reply)
Every time you post another pun, smash monkey ducks.

(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 1:40, Reply)
She thinks duck fat is bad.
As the French would say, c'est mal lard.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2021, 6:29, Reply)
I still get bunnies from a ex local
I.have dug two out of the freezer and am planning a stew, with rice. Fuck I am interesting today
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:45, Reply)
Haven't had rabbit stew since I was a kid

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:00, Reply)
same, it's fantastic meat though
I had roasted saddle of lamb at some place in the West End a few years ago, it was delicious
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:02, Reply)
rabbit is really nice
asked my butcher for it last year, he said there's no call for it, so they don't get it in. If I'm asking him for rabbit, surely that's call for it
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 16:35, Reply)
also, my mum said can she have some whisky marmalade

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 16:36, Reply)
if I've got spare once it's made, she absolutely can

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 17:02, Reply)
she does love her marmalade

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 17:03, Reply)
some positive news just in
mrs has been contacted about a 6 month contract, working from home, after tax it would bring in nearly 4k a month - that would really sort us out, I can't bring myself to hope, really
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 17:36, Reply)
that really is excellent news
best of luck to mrs queef
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 17:57, Reply)
even if it doesn't happen it shows she's still a viable prospect in her industry after 3 years off work

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 18:04, Reply)
not to mention giving her a confidence boost

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 18:09, Reply)
Thats a hell of a take home wage

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 18:34, Reply)
it's what people on universal credit are expected to live on for a year

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 18:40, Reply)
I know , and millions are spent on sending a fat wanker into space. This world has depressed me since I was about 8

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 18:58, Reply)
I;m just waiting for the revolution, tbh

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 19:03, Reply)
actually, it's less than that
just worked it out, 52 weeks of jobseeker's allowance/universal credit comes to ยฃ3886.20
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 18:58, Reply)
innit
20% less that what she was on before tho, used to get 20k bonus as well, man those were different times
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 18:47, Reply)
Well best of luck ro her. She's had a few fucking bum hands , about time she got a straight flush

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 19:02, Reply)
Yeah some non-shit luck would be nice

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 19:27, Reply)
There is an absolutely stunning new jump hour on ablogtowatch for only 10 months of banking her money , worth thinking about. Its gorg

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 19:37, Reply)
lol bum hands
Seriously though, glad to hear things are looking up
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 20:55, Reply)
That's funny, I haven't had kid stew since I was a rabbit.

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:39, Reply)
why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 17:25, Reply)
which James Bond are you tho?
www.bbc.com/culture/article/20211011-which-bond-character-are-you

"You are Bond, James Bond. You always run while others walk. You act while other men (or women) just talk. They call you the winner who takes all. Mind you, you're also a bit of a dinosaur."

but which one am I?!
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:08, Reply)
Apparently I am Bond. James Bond.

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:13, Reply)
what you too?

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:15, Reply)
And me.
It's almost as if everyone who takes that quiz gets Bond, regardless of what answers they click.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:18, Reply)
what a silly quiz

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:21, Reply)
I wonder what Jeremy Usborne got?

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:23, Reply)
I got Blofeld

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 18:08, Reply)
5/15
the first one I got right was question 10, I was quite disappointed because by that stage I wanted to finish with zero.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 14:46, Reply)
Ah well, better luck next time

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:07, Reply)
7 also

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:01, Reply)
*7 fives*

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:08, Reply)
^ NFN

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:22, Reply)
10/15, I AM KING

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 15:23, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 8:18, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 8:21, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 8:28, Reply)
Chilly today

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 8:29, Reply)
nice and bright though

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 8:43, Reply)
Turned out nice
#weatherchat
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 9:50, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 8:36, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 8:43, Reply)
Shoop de doop

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 9:59, Reply)
poop

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 11:05, Reply)
maybe

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 10:09, Reply)
come on Porky, where's your gumption?

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 11:05, Reply)
I wrote this in the style of 'Barbie Girl'

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 11:17, Reply)
her out of Aqua eh? Cor!

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 11:48, Reply)
well it's not now, is it?

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 12:15, Reply)
Morning
In honour of the birthday of fictional character David Lister, breakfast today is a triple fried egg sandwich with chilli sauce and chutney
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 10:15, Reply)
smeggy smeg smeg

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 10:27, Reply)
I plan to make a tomato & chili chutney soon, as part of my xmas gifts
whisky marmalade and smoked salmon too

I'd be pleased if someone gave me that, I think
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 10:39, Reply)
I'd be pleased with all but the Marmalade
Why my a/c chose to give Marmalade a capital m is beyond me
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 11:01, Reply)
Happy birthday David Lister on your birthday today on 14th October which is your birthday on 14th October!

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 10:41, Reply)
it says 'our rob or ross'

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 11:48, Reply)
Contrary to half of the internet, I did quite like Red Dwarf when both it and I were young
but fuck me it was an abomination by the time it got to that utter shitshow of a plot point.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 12:16, Reply)
It went rapidly downhill after they lost the ship

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 13:02, Reply)
I have referenced the internet
and it is the birthdate of non nonce Cliff Richard. Happy birthday non nonce
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 12:09, Reply)
I'm not cooking a living doll as well

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 12:11, Reply)
#young ones
comedy legend chat
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 12:20, Reply)
I had that record
"I still think that locking girls in trunks is politically unsound" always amused me
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 13:04, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 7:16, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 7:19, Reply)
hiya

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 7:30, Reply)
Good morning

(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 7:52, Reply)
alright dbt
another leisurely day ahead? are you going to buy another boozer or go back to being a shit GP?
(, Thu 14 Oct 2021, 7:53, Reply)
Huh...
Still going eh?
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:58, Reply)
Just

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:04, Reply)
No-one is more surprised than any of us.

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:06, Reply)
Any of us are less surprised than no-one?

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:43, Reply)
No-one of us is any less surprised than any of us.

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:46, Reply)
fewer

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 17:13, Reply)
It just won't die

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:12, Reply)
Has anyone tried
Covering it in jam and spunking in its eye?
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:26, Reply)
again

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:32, Reply)
It's a daily ritual

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 15:31, Reply)
*Bumrapes*

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:25, Reply)
Well that
was uncalled for
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:26, Reply)
I do apologise...
... I seem to be a day early
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:26, Reply)
Early, Punctual or late
I still don't want it.
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:28, Reply)
It's this sort of dreadful homophobia that has really ruined this place.

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:48, Reply)
no

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:34, Reply)
Personally, no, I’m just running on empty, wondering where I’ll crash. What about you Benny?
Where I live, a Benny is someone from Bayonne, Elizabeth, Newark, or New York who goes down to the Jersey shore and acts like a muppet.
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:39, Reply)
I can certainly do the muppety thing
(I assume you mean have someone shove their hand up my arse, right?)
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:41, Reply)
That is precisely what I meant, yes.

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:45, Reply)
yesterday was your candle day
or pancake day, whichever you prefer
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:48, Reply)
Crikey...18 years.
Maybe I'll take my profile for a pint later.
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 15:56, Reply)
We’re doing our best to kill what’s left of /chat

Cheers
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 15:33, Reply)
Exactly! It’s not our fault we’re shit at it.

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 17:39, Reply)
Practice makes perfect

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 17:40, Reply)
It's still a load of bollocks.

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 18:03, Reply)
Bit harsh

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 19:28, Reply)
It’s a lovely forum of debate and exchanged pleasantries.

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 20:25, Reply)
Fuck off

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 21:38, Reply)
Fine thanks! Yourself?

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 22:31, Reply)
Holy shitbags!
Alright, old timer?
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 20:28, Reply)
How come you've got no candles?

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 20:29, Reply)
afternoon, pooper's

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 12:33, Reply)
come on mate, watch your language

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 12:36, Reply)
Afternoon

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 12:47, Reply)
yo

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:12, Reply)
I'm supposed to be cleaning
But I'm eating cheese on toast and watching journey to the centre of the earth
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:29, Reply)
one of my favourite books when I was a lad
that and around the world in 80 days
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:33, Reply)
I love reading
Couldn't do it much as a kid, because my brother would take any book I was reading and either hide it or burn it, the cunt
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:35, Reply)
wtf

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:53, Reply)
Yep, total sociopath
Any kind of reading is gay, any desire to learn is bent, only cunts go to college, he got his learning from the school of life. He's an expert on some bloke down the pub told me
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 14:11, Reply)
Lunch thread
Cheese or egg butty?
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:10, Reply)
cheap ass tom yum noodles here, pimped up with a few additions
still pretty fucking lame
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:14, Reply)
The person charing the MS Teams meeting I'm in
has set a photo as their background. They are in the photo in their own background so he's standing there behind himself it's fucking weird.
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:11, Reply)
Aliens
Must be
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:26, Reply)
Someone's also put their camera on as they eat
but the person speaking has theirs off so it's all a bit like watching a zoom link to an old people's home.

I'm also doing loud farts so I have to keep checking my mic's off otherwise it'll keep spotlighting me when I guff.
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:30, Reply)
I AM AN HUMAN! LOOK AT MY NORMAL HUMAN LIKENESS! SEE HOW NORMAL IT IS!

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:30, Reply)
how are they doing it?
with a blowtorch?
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:29, Reply)
Sky rockets in flooper's +

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 13:27, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 6:44, Reply)
morning evening

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 7:43, Reply)
this is just confusing now

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 7:55, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 7:51, Reply)
classic internet!

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 7:55, Reply)
classic morning

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 8:09, Reply)
Is your lack of pooping making you feel sick... bloated... and annoyed?
If so you'll be happy to know that scientists have discovered an unusual nutrient which acts like "nature's drano" to...
- Help you poop up to 171% more than you do right now - That's the difference between pooping about 2x per week versus 7 days a week...

I don't know how they worked out that percentage, but it's completely wrong. And for that reason, I'm out.
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 8:24, Reply)
the word poop
irrationally annoys me. It's just so childish
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 8:32, Reply)
and yet you continue to visit a puerile digital arts forum

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 8:42, Reply)
so much digital art

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 10:37, Reply)
The leaflet we give out with bowel prep for capsule endoscopies
says it "begins to soften your stools (poo)". I guess there's no good word that every member of the general public will understand, because I suppose the ethics committee wouldn't go for "it'll make you shit like an elephant".
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 8:42, Reply)
poo is ok
I think it's the extra P that does me in
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:19, Reply)
How do you feel about pooper scoopers?

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:19, Reply)
The Abba song?

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:41, Reply)

alright Wakefield Council
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:47, Reply)
the one in the brunette wig is guy, right?

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 10:34, Reply)
Why not just say "poo" and have done with it?

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 10:41, Reply)
Poo.

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 10:42, Reply)
This has just inspired me to write a joke, I'll whack it on qotw and wait to be newslettered again.

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 11:57, Reply)
that joke is poop

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 11:59, Reply)
If you don't mind, I prefer "cra"

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 12:01, Reply)
morning lol

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 8:47, Reply)
orni lol

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 8:50, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 8:56, Reply)
Wednesday? If only it was WENTsday
like if it had went or gone or something
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 8:59, Reply)
I slept until nearly 8:30, unheard of

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:17, Reply)
We're going to the opera tomorrow night
Satyagraha is over 3 hours long, by Phillip Glass, and is sung in Sanskrit without any subtitles. So that'll be fun!
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:24, Reply)
christ
I'd rather sit through 'Cats' than that, and I'd rather hack my cock off with a rusty spoon than sit through 'Cats'
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:37, Reply)
I'm sure it'll be a laugh-a-minute

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:49, Reply)
Take a shitload of acid before you go in
That should liven things up
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 11:12, Reply)
Hello bell end

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:00, Reply)
please, I implore you, delete your account and kill yourself

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:06, Reply)
physician, heal thyself

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:23, Reply)
Please, I implore you
Rent a prostitute and lose your virginity. You will be a happier person
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:41, Reply)
FRESH

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 17:22, Reply)
poop

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:18, Reply)
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(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:22, Reply)
liked AND subscribed

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:25, Reply)

youtu.be/vo_qthOvlyY?t=9
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 10:36, Reply)
Morning

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 9:30, Reply)
Jeff Mills is a freaky weirdo eh

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 11:55, Reply)
I like his musical version of War of the Worlds that he does on his radio 1 show

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 11:59, Reply)
War of the Worlds is a load of fucking shit.
There, I said it.
(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 12:03, Reply)
no one cares what you think

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 12:34, Reply)
lol upset

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 12:36, Reply)
heh

(, Wed 13 Oct 2021, 12:04, Reply)

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