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alright

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 9:22, Reply)
Get your ass to Mars.

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 9:40, Reply)
dont question me
i.imgur.com/Lz1VXvv.jpg
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 10:09, Reply)
I can't argue with this.

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 12:46, Reply)
yeh. weird pubstuff last few days though.
closed, kitchen closed, downstairs closed, flooding.
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 10:25, Reply)

youtu.be/BkR6KrEyNwo
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 10:29, Reply)
Yeah, not bad
How are you?
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 11:48, Reply)
meh

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 11:59, Reply)
I'm in work
But at least I'm not the one being chained to a bed
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 12:09, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8222413
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 13:12, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8222384
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 12:33, Reply)
Tommy Robinson is laughably short.

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 13:51, Reply)
child not fully developed short

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 13:59, Reply)
although the cunt did live in a £1 million pound house until recently

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 13:59, Reply)
Poor Barbie

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:08, Reply)
Yeah, not under any of his own 'real' names though.
Mortgage fraud is a crime that CAN pay. Until you get caught.
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 18:45, Reply)
Isn't he about 3'6"?

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:04, Reply)
He wishes he was like six foot nine

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:10, Reply)

twitter.com/agirlcalledlina/status/1129151919065325568?s=19
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:24, Reply)
This is great as well - some alt-right reporter comes to Manchester and asks people what they think of Tommy Robinson and basically just gets a video of people calling him a cunt.
twitter.com/jessieSwiet/status/1129684367838765056

The irony of a 'free speech' advocate censoring the word cunt is not lost on me.
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 21:14, Reply)
Greetings from Africa!
Yes, I'm on holiday right now. Having a beer round the pool, 27°C. It's horrible here. Avoid at all costs, you'll only get fat.
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:04, Reply)
Go on a safari
Masai Mara game reserve is meant to be spectacular. I want to go there myself
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:09, Reply)
Doing bugger all today. It's more near the beach tbh.
Going quadbiking tomorrow over the desert. That's supposed to be fun.
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:12, Reply)
You can go in a shark cage
There are great whites round there
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:17, Reply)
No thanks. Ive seen that movie 47 Metres Down.

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 15:08, Reply)
I've always wanted to do it

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 16:03, Reply)
2 hours behind you. Just about to go for another all inclusive hot dog and chips to go with my really gassy beer.

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:10, Reply)
What's on the telly over there?

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:18, Reply)
Murder, she wrote

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 14:40, Reply)
Sky news
And one movie channel.
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 15:07, Reply)
Even here
You can't get away from brexit.
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 15:20, Reply)
BBC Scotland are repeating The High Life. So it's on iPlayer.

(, Sun 19 May 2019, 18:42, Reply)
Srs, so glad I found him, and I'm pope alday long
andrewsobel.com/eight-ways-to-improve-your-empathy/
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:00, Reply)

Don’t think you have any biases? Think again—we all do.

Cultivate your sense
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:02, Reply)
Explore the heart not just the head

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:04, Reply)
Strikey shaft

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:08, Reply)
Strikey strokey

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:08, Reply)
Eh lads

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:09, Reply)
disgusting
you should be banned
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:10, Reply)

+Pato ned ton
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:16, Reply)
New mons out

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:07, Reply)
Does that link to his bit on empathy? It was supposed to

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:10, Reply)
y
I've already learnt a lot
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:12, Reply)
I never know how theses link things work sometimes, some go another way

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:31, Reply)
Aww shit I just spilt kroney all over my weed , in the fucking bag the lot, ffs

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:51, Reply)
Don't drink such shitty lager

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:26, Reply)
Now come on I like a laugh, but 1664 is a king of lagers

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 22:00, Reply)
Stick it in a bag of rice.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:45, Reply)

New Get your
+for the lads
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:40, Reply)
lol, pubis

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:02, Reply)
You've gone wrong

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:26, Reply)
Not very empathic

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:47, Reply)
I've been awake since yesterday morning
Empathy can go and shit in its best hat
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:28, Reply)
I spent 5 years at medical school, 5 years training as a GP and the last 8 years being a GP.
I think I'm more qualified than that prick for pretending to care about all the stupid shit that people come out with.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:31, Reply)
What a waste of time

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 22:03, Reply)
and now Ben Raemers :'(

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:52, Reply)
my Alan Partridge deck will be worth a bit more now.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:54, Reply)
8. Ask better questions.
Bring three or four thoughtful, even provocative questions to every conversation you have with clients or colleagues.
(, Sun 19 May 2019, 3:12, Reply)
COME ON YOU CUNT, LET'S HAVE SOME APHEX ACID!

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 17:18, Reply)
Must I?

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 17:24, Reply)
It's been ages since I've listened to drukqs

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 17:27, Reply)
it's a pretty patchy album

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 18:13, Reply)
That's more praise than I'd give

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 18:15, Reply)
it was clearly cobbled together for contractual reasons

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 18:26, Reply)
I used to like it.
Not as much as RDJ though.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 18:23, Reply)
^robbie williams fan

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:05, Reply)

Robbie

Sian
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:18, Reply)
Let me entertain you is a guilty pleasure of mine

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:18, Reply)
I'm the opposite, it's rare a song provokes visceral hatred but this one does that.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:21, Reply)
^ is loving angels instead

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:21, Reply)
I'm a musical butterfly
I tend to choose random songs that I enjoy from different groups, apart from Queen. My earliest musical memory is bohemian rhapsody
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:25, Reply)
Queen are fucking terrible.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:29, Reply)
Bow your head in shame, cunt

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:25, Reply)
no no, they were fucking bent drivel

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:46, Reply)
+ of that

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 18:13, Reply)
Kyuss on the stereo

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 18:45, Reply)
I fuckin love welcome to sky valley

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:05, Reply)
that's what's on.
I prefer Blues for the Red Sun though.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:14, Reply)
Fuck that noise
I've been awake since yesterday morning and spent last night with hookers and shoe yet again. I need sleep badly, I'm back in work tomorrow morning
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 18:53, Reply)
Just found out I know a professional football player

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:08, Reply)
Sportsmen probably need regular massages

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:14, Reply)
Jose Baxter
Haven't seen him since he was a toddler
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 19:17, Reply)
HELP YOURSELF M8, NOT FOR ME THO THX

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 20:11, Reply)
afternoon
I did a Crystal-Maze type event room thing with my work colleagues last week. What ropey old TV game show would you like to take part in?
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 13:32, Reply)
Blind Date, with actual blind people

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 13:37, Reply)
Watch Day of the Triffids.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 15:32, Reply)
Plants must hate it, most don't even have wrists

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 15:42, Reply)
Me and a mate in school were meant to go on blockbusters
But the Catholic school down the road got picked instead. They only got one answer right.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 13:43, Reply)
Cahtchphreeease
with Roy "The Original and Best" Walker.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 13:50, Reply)
I was going to come up with some stupid pervy program
But this is the correct answer.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 14:02, Reply)

the correct answer riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 14:49, Reply)
I'd take a day off to avoid pish like this or an escape room.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 14:17, Reply)
^^^^^^

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 15:20, Reply)
Team building with a bunch of cunts

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 16:48, Reply)
The Generation Game, featuring the rotting corpse of Brucie and a pile of cadavers

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 14:45, Reply)
Knightmare.
So I could hang out with Treguard and his 'friend' Pickle.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 15:34, Reply)
Bullseye
I'd fucking love to win a speedboat, me!
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 22:36, Reply)
Munging.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:33, Reply)
Mungning MoMu
About to start a 21 hour flight to the UK, has civil war broken out yet?
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:38, Reply)
Yes, but we're only using milkshakes as weapons,
so actual casualties will be limited to the lactose intolerant.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:46, Reply)
Had an MEP flyer through for this lot yesterday, they seem nice
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_Democrats
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:53, Reply)
it's a vote from me!

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:55, Reply)
same
had a few personalised ones from right-wing parties
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:59, Reply)
What, they wrote to you by name?

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:04, Reply)
just my name and address
usually, it's just a flyer but these had my full name and address. Wankers.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:05, Reply)
Serves you right for buying the mail on sunday with a debit card

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:09, Reply)
buying goods on amazon through a stormfront affiliate link

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:11, Reply)
5 pence from every pound you spend will go to help someone who lost his job to an immigrant

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:15, Reply)
The Apple retailer?

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:23, Reply)
hiya

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:49, Reply)
^ yellow peril

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:51, Reply)
Never pass a wounded Jap.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:52, Reply)
shit it

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:59, Reply)
Yeah, I'm still buzzing

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:01, Reply)
Heavy on the toot, last night?

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:23, Reply)
No, I've not touched that for ages,

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:42, Reply)
Good lad. Winners don't use drugs.
Except in high level athletic competitions, obviously.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:48, Reply)

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Munging
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 9:58, Reply)
Seems legit.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 11:34, Reply)
Edgy and 12

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 12:42, Reply)
That's 95% of urbandictionary.

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 13:44, Reply)
Hi, I'm Chad Wackerman
and my globules have coalesced.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 23:30, Reply)
Mung the merciless

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 23:32, Reply)
The Color Of Mungy

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 4:55, Reply)
Me, I know it's red

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 7:43, Reply)
Don't wear such tight pants, then

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 2:36, Reply)
I'm a Chad guy, I don't mind admitting it

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 4:53, Reply)
The Sisters of Mungy

(, Sat 18 May 2019, 8:32, Reply)
COME ON YOU REDS

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 19:35, Reply)
This ref is fucking bent, clear hand ball

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 20:40, Reply)
is he?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 20:42, Reply)
the referees a wanker he wears a wankers hat

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 20:42, Reply)
good luck
although I do think Lee Bowyer is a prick
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 20:41, Reply)
O feel physically sick , I can't cope anymore

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 22:39, Reply)
you'll feel worse if it goes to penalties against sunders

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 22:45, Reply)
Nah, it's a shit division, we should have won it , fucking league one , not bothered now

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 22:54, Reply)
Who's playing?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 20:52, Reply)
Scott shortly, he's just gone to get some food

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 21:19, Reply)
That Munkyfelcha track is solid.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 21:30, Reply)
cheers, I've got loads of that shit, was a lot of fun to make

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 21:33, Reply)
Got the painters in?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 21:50, Reply)
congrats mongy

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 22:54, Reply)
Played my heart out, 110%

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 23:53, Reply)
I asked you piss ants before for help with a tune I couldn't remember - you all failed
Can you help this time? The line from I.T. "Do they float" was used on a drum and bass/jungle tune in the 90s... anyone able to help?
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:21, Reply)
yes I can help

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:33, Reply)
shy fx
original nuttah
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:37, Reply)
leviticus
the burial
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:40, Reply)
probably not
my knowledge is more film-based
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:45, Reply)
shit on a dog's tits
by your nan
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:45, Reply)
the lion sleeps tonight
tight fit (unlike your nan's baggy minge)
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:46, Reply)
love that song

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:52, Reply)
Me too.
It's ace.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:53, Reply)
Yeah, it was Euromasters - Alles Naar De Klote

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:55, Reply)
I like that.
It's mental.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 17:59, Reply)
yeah I was always partial to a bit of gabba

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:02, Reply)
Fucking hell not for me

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:04, Reply)
^ lost his hardcore

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:06, Reply)
ez big fella

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:11, Reply)
ello mate, you seem to be playing on various diff stations at the mo, is that right?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:14, Reply)
I retired for nearly 3 years but now back
playing soul disco and rare groove,
nothing major, just enjoying things :)
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:16, Reply)
Sweet :) I got myself a dj-808 to muck about with, with the vague plan to get involved again at some point

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:29, Reply)
Cool, I still got my CDJ2000s but they've been boxed up in a cupboard for years.
Just using my Technics for shows now.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:31, Reply)
when & where are you next playing, I'll try to tune in

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:51, Reply)
Tomorrow night 9pm I'll tag you :)

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 19:32, Reply)
ah I don't do facebook much nowadays, what's the station?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 19:38, Reply)
Heyyyyy

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:55, Reply)
That's sent me down a YouTube Melbourne shuffle rabbit hole now.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:19, Reply)

Neuromancer ‎– Pennywise
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:09, Reply)
Get you with your proper answer
think I've got that record & still didn't have a clue what paint! was asking for.

also, alright richyplops
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:12, Reply)

yes i remaked this part using Audacity my favorite music edit kkkk I HOPE NO ONE SAY I AM A RETARDED .EXEmple nice grammar retarded kid i reported 67 times the guy replied this to me!!
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:24, Reply)
Are you pissed?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:27, Reply)
Why not, it's friday

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:49, Reply)
Oh god please don't let this be the Friday night thread

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:19, Reply)
Lol
This is noice.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:23, Reply)
Right imma upload some of my old gabber stuff, it's officially gabber friday

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:33, Reply)
YES
Got to go out for a couple of hours now but then it will be time to get back and put on something loud.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:37, Reply)
The best gabba:
Munkyfelcha - Good E Felcha
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 19:31, Reply)
You'd best gaz mongychops, he knows about that sort of thing.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 19:09, Reply)
5/7: Sleeper agent
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-48299437
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 13:52, Reply)
4/7: Bumhole shitplops

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 13:56, Reply)
Snitch.
Thanks, Auntie Beeb!
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 14:03, Reply)
Woah, check em

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 16:27, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8111111
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 18:57, Reply)
1 hr 37 mins til boozetime, I'm gonna party like it's Friday afternoon

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 14:53, Reply)
I'm supposed to be going to the oldest rock/metal bar in town tonight.
LET'S RAWK!
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 14:59, Reply)
1/1: Shitcock

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 15:13, Reply)
0/0: Mercy Killing

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 15:21, Reply)
3/7 Snitch
Did the third question make sense to anyone?
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 15:26, Reply)
yeah, he was dead all along

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 15:29, Reply)

youtu.be/frBWvyE_N9I
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 16:52, Reply)
4/12 penis cheese lover

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 15:32, Reply)
She'll take your heart but you won't feel it

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 15:35, Reply)
+I asked the guy "why you so fly?" he said

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 16:21, Reply)
4/40 pub time

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 16:40, Reply)
Yeah nice one yeah?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 11:08, Reply)
actually not really, my court date which I've been counting down to for months is being moved, not sure to when yet
:(
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 11:09, Reply)
This afternoon

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 11:15, Reply)
Lol like death row in Japan
where you can wait for years on end without ever learning the date for your execution, then they wake you up one morning and say "Right, we're going to kill you now."
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 11:24, Reply)
Live each day like it's your last.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 11:26, Reply)
lying in bed pumped full of morphine?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:46, Reply)
Sounds great, sign me up.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:56, Reply)
That would be superb

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 11:31, Reply)
+ h
yo ho ho & a bottle of cumin
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:03, Reply)
RIP Grumpy Cat

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 11:52, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:07, Reply)
Yeah, well plastic.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 11:53, Reply)
R-Patz is the new Batman.
That ought to upset a fair few nerds.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:01, Reply)
You're upset then?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:18, Reply)
Livid, m8.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:20, Reply)
Seriously?
Is this some kind of conspiracy to make Ben Affleck feel better about himself?
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:22, Reply)
What, the T-1000?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 15:15, Reply)
Yeah? Yeah

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:22, Reply)
quick round of cock muff bumhole?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:27, Reply)
skull and crossfit bones

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:33, Reply)
That is so last thread.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:57, Reply)
yer but I wasn't here then

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 13:13, Reply)
Typical solipsist.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 13:28, Reply)
Friday yeah?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 12:47, Reply)
Cheers yeah?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 13:45, Reply)
Yeah
Cheers
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 15:22, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 7:13, Reply)
That's not my Grrrmachine!

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 7:44, Reply)
Yo
and word.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 7:45, Reply)
I have the lurgi
I am in bed and I'm n9t getting up
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 7:45, Reply)
too much gym prolly

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 8:32, Reply)
don9t blame you

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:46, Reply)
Cor blimey.
I feel as rough as a badger's arse this morning. Stupid cold in reaction to going back to the gym.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 8:07, Reply)
yes that's how viruses work

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 8:31, Reply)
+morou
rough as a
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:51, Reply)
To the Archive with you!

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:56, Reply)
What's a pirate's favourite herb?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:00, Reply)
PARRRRRRRsley?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:02, Reply)
Tarrrrrrrragon

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:02, Reply)
coriander?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:06, Reply)
You couldn't even be bothered to write "coriand-arrr".
For shame.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:27, Reply)
Banana. It IS a herb ACTUALLY.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:31, Reply)
Banan-arrr?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:43, Reply)
lol, minions!

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:43, Reply)
Jolly Roger's Cookbook tell you to smoke the skins?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:43, Reply)
Herb Alpert
And his Tijuana Brass.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:53, Reply)
Herbie Hancock

lol cock
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:56, Reply)
I caught mine conventionally
And am focusing on being I'll in bed
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:52, Reply)
Seriously debating going home this arvo.
I feel like shit.
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 11:18, Reply)
Tonight I'll spend my bread, tonight
I'll lose my head, tonight
I've got to get to night
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 8:31, Reply)
huge if true

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 8:36, Reply)
yes

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 8:42, Reply)
a rainy one at that

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 8:46, Reply)
Arrr, gym lad

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:09, Reply)
Pilates of the Caribbean

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:34, Reply)
[something about booty]

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:36, Reply)
Johnny Reps

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:38, Reply)
Dead Man's Chest Expander

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:45, Reply)
the black spotting

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:48, Reply)
Compression Legging Silver

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:50, Reply)
Rockefeller Plank
like that song from fatboy slim, only more piratey
(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:57, Reply)
Just lots of rowing machines.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:11, Reply)
yoga ho ho and a bottle of rum

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:44, Reply)
FUCK YEAH FRIDAy

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:47, Reply)
two whole days of weeing and pooing freedom ahead

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:49, Reply)
Yayayayayay!!!111

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:51, Reply)
Up the addicks

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 9:56, Reply)
Sounds like a sex position.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:02, Reply)
Should we try to make you go to rehab?

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:09, Reply)
he'll just say: no, no, no

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:16, Reply)
Prolly be dead, soon.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:27, Reply)
Customer address of the day: Wankdorfallee.

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:44, Reply)
Friction Bern

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:51, Reply)
He'

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 10:56, Reply)
Customer of the day: Jeffrey Pert
Hullo, knob's and fanny's
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:29, Reply)
no customers today
i'm off till tomorrow night
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:36, Reply)
nice
I'm off home to barbecue a couple of trout, with an asian twist
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:47, Reply)

barbecue drop couple of brown
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:59, Reply)
Standard

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 18:02, Reply)
:(

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 18:11, Reply)
imma have steak tonight
then i've got a bottle of pinot grigio for later, when my chap turns up. hopefully, he'll be bringing shoe with him, as this is our weekend, what with both of us working friday night and him working saturday night
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 18:15, Reply)
Get involved

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 18:39, Reply)
Had to call and tell him not to come
As this bug has got my guts in an uproar
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 23:14, Reply)
Look at the pert little buttocks on that Jeffrey

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:39, Reply)
dollars fancies giraffes!

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:41, Reply)
I can't help it, they are conscientious lovers

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:43, Reply)
Impressive tongue action

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 18:42, Reply)
Wrap some leaves around your willy and stand near the enclosure

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 18:43, Reply)
on a ladder

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 1:26, Reply)
*looks*

*approves*
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:47, Reply)
I've seen bigger tits on a ferret.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:53, Reply)
Been on /board, have we

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 18:02, Reply)
alright, Yoda's head with Gregg Wallace's face badly superimposed on it
hahahahahahahahahahaha, imagine how funny a photoshopped picture of that would be, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 21:51, Reply)
Buttery biscuit FORCE! Lol!!!!!!

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 22:21, Reply)
Only a masterchef of evil, gregg!

(, Fri 17 May 2019, 0:40, Reply)
Awooga, what a threadrush!

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 11:29, Reply)
One thread closer to death

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 11:33, Reply)
I hope he met a nice girl and got married and someone bought him a personality as a wedding gift.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 11:40, Reply)
I got my b3ta icon as an engagement present.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 11:47, Reply)
I wish you'd left it in the cupboard like the fine china most people get

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 11:53, Reply)
There's a lot of nice glassware in the loft,
that will never be used due to fear of breaking it. Utterly pointless.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 11:57, Reply)
I hate shit like that
my missus bought loads of pointless chinaware back from the UK for reasons completely unknown, so that it can get thrown away in the charity shops over here rather than in Kent.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 11:59, Reply)
A house is not a home without a gravy boat.
The only bit of china I want to inherit from my parents is a penguin shaped jug that vomits custard on your dessert.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 12:15, Reply)
both of my parents regularly purge junk and tat so I've no trinkets to inherit, thank fuck
bit gutted that my mum threw out my granddad's monte carlo rally badges though.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 12:19, Reply)
I think I promised to give mcbeef first dibs on whatever nazi memorabilia my grandad looted during the war.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:01, Reply)
Mm dooby do, dahm dahm, dahm do dahm ooby do
Dahm dahm, dahm do dahm, ooby do
Dahm dahm, dahm do dahm, ooby do
Dahm dahm, dahm ooh dahm
Mm dooby do
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 12:14, Reply)
Quick Scooby doo has had a stroke

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 12:51, Reply)
rho no!

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 16:08, Reply)
Did you know that mancho man randy savages dad holds the world record for most consecutive sit ups.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:38, Reply)
This should have been a new thread really.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:38, Reply)
I did not know that mancho man randy savages dad holds the world record for most consecutive sit ups

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:39, Reply)
How many mung beans can he eat in one sitting?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:39, Reply)
Not funny. You know he died from mung bean allergy complications.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:42, Reply)
did he eat nancho cheese?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:49, Reply)
all done under the supervision of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:55, Reply)
Hail mary

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 14:07, Reply)
true though, right?
I'm pretty sure he did it for Jesus or something
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 14:17, Reply)
ah, not quite
While serving in the US Navy in 1945, he set a world record for sit-ups.[1] He completed 6,033 sit-ups in four hours and ten minutes. According to his son Lanny, after 6,000 sit-ups he did 33 more, one for each year of Jesus Christ's life
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 14:17, Reply)
He still lives on, in my heart
❤️
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 14:38, Reply)
Did you consume his soul?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 14:56, Reply)
Spoons time

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:40, Reply)
I'll play the washboard.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 15:05, Reply)
Ended up not eating
IBS is playing a blinder this week. My stomach is killing me and I've had 3 people so far ask me when it's due, cheeky cunts
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 15:14, Reply)
Stab them and tell them it's the hormones.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 15:38, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhxkY9adDCg
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 16:19, Reply)
pfff!

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 17:41, Reply)

Topical #ratnews
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 16:07, Reply)
oh god just start a new fucking thread already

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 11:24, Reply)
I was hoping Chad Wackerman would start the next one

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 11:30, Reply)
Hi, I'm Chad Wackerman.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 16:51, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:04, Reply)
Urgh.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:06, Reply)
^ can't even

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:07, Reply)
OMG, like, rilly.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:11, Reply)
Sun is shing, the weather is sweet.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:29, Reply)
Nothing like a buffet of deep-fried feet.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:33, Reply)
Yeah, the Shing is my favourite Stephen King film

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:39, Reply)
Stephen Kg

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:49, Reply)
Is IT?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:48, Reply)
Maximum Overdrv

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:08, Reply)
Runng Man

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:19, Reply)
Mung Man
#ChadWackerman
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:26, Reply)
munging

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:38, Reply)
disgusting

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:39, Reply)
Alright, "Chad Wackerman".

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:40, Reply)
I can't believe I missed Chad Wackerman and his mung beans last night

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:58, Reply)
Chode Waqqiman, more like!!!!

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:09, Reply)
Turtle power!

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 7:52, Reply)
no

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:09, Reply)
Morning
Day off, so of course I have to get up a ladder and take down the old blinds
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:09, Reply)
don't do it, you've got so much to live for

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:10, Reply)
I don't always fall off ladders when I climb them
Just most of the time
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:46, Reply)
Alright, Nigel Pargetter

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:09, Reply)
Well that was easy
Got the last one down just as the man knocked. New blinds fitted and looking good.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:45, Reply)
I'm glad you didn't die.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:56, Reply)
Me too!

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:00, Reply)
A woman is having a shower when the doorbell rings.
She gets out to answer the door but can’t find her towel, so peeks through the blinds. There, standing at the front door is a man wearing sunglasses and a shirt that reads BLIND MAN. “Well,” she thinks, “doesn’t matter about the towel, then,” and she goes to answer the door naked. She opens the front door.

The man says: “Cracking tits, love. I’m here to fix your blinds.”
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:12, Reply)
Old joke is old

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:45, Reply)
Certainly is!

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:47, Reply)
I find several details about this highly implausible
- even if she had neglected to take a towel into the bathroom she must surely know where she keeps them
- doesn't she own a bathrobe?
- it's more likely that his shirt would have a company name than a vague job title
- blind people don't wear shirts announcing their disability
- she must have known if the blinds needed fixing, in fact it was likely she arranged the visit herself

let's try again...

A woman is having a shower when the doorbell rings. She gets out to answer the door but realises there is no towel in the bathroom, so she puts on her robe and grabs a clean towel from the airing cupboard and wraps it around her wet hair. She peeks through her broken blinds and sees a man wearing sunglasses and a shirt that reads SMITH'S BLIND REPAIRS. "Well," she thinks, "I knew they said they'd be here first thing, but he's a little earlier than I expected. She opens the front door.

The man says: "Good morning, love. I'm here to fix your blinds."
He thinks to himself: "Cracking tits, I wish she'd answered the door naked."
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:51, Reply)
You should both take this routine to The Fringe

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:52, Reply)
+ and leave it there

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:00, Reply)
That Levis 501 ad, 'member?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:02, Reply)
With Nick Kamen?!?!?
oh yes!!! I thought about that A LOT as a young person.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:07, Reply)
His real name is Ivor

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:15, Reply)
I don't care, he could be Mervyn, I don't need to know names

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:31, Reply)
^ pervin' on Mervyn

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:37, Reply)
Forsooth, nay.
This one.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:24, Reply)

The Fringe QOTW
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:03, Reply)
when I was at uni
a mate and I popped round his swim team-mate's house. Her housemate let us in, so we went upstairs to the swimmer's room and knocked on the door. She opened it while wearing an open bathrobe which she hadn't tied and we saw her tits AND muff for a brief second before she shrieked and closed the door. I wanked myself blind to that.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:04, Reply)
and then we drove home in my mate's Honda Accord

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:05, Reply)
What, outside her bedroom door?
And what did you mate do, look the other way or join in?
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:08, Reply)
pretty sure our combined erections made a comedy "boing" noise like out of a Carry On film

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:14, Reply)

a comedy "boing" noise like out of a Carry On film us look like Beavis and Butthead
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:57, Reply)
Needs more nuns.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:10, Reply)
^ never come this way before

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:14, Reply)
Where's the soap?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:29, Reply)
Yes it does

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:56, Reply)
spose

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:32, Reply)
^ Kevin the Gerbil, missing Roland

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:33, Reply)
not so sure actually
I think we may still have Roland in our house :(
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:52, Reply)
perhaps if you weren't so filthy they'd move out

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:54, Reply)
well the hope was that once they'd replaced the soil pipe, put a cage round the new one and concreted it in, that they'd no longer be able to get to my nommy poos and wees and would fuck off

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:02, Reply)
they're just so enticing, what rodent could resist?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:14, Reply)
is there a pink Ford Anglia parked outside?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:19, Reply)
Have you considered living somewhere fit for human habitation?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:28, Reply)
How would your daughter feel if you were to suddenly acquire a cat?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:32, Reply)
he's got enough animals living there without bringing more in

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:39, Reply)
Cats are shit.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:44, Reply)
apparently rats don't give a shit about cats
we've been inviting our neighbours' cat in recently in the hope that his scent will be offputting for our ratty co-tenants, but the pest control man said having a cat won't achieve anything. My kid would love a cat though.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:56, Reply)
well he would say that wouldn't he

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:00, Reply)
I doubt the cat smell would put them off, you'd need the cat to actually catch the rats.
A small dog might be better. Some awful, yappy terrier, like a Jack Russell.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:03, Reply)
well fed domestic animals have no motivation to kill rats, the best you could hope for is that the cat would catch them and bring them into the house to play with them
he could get a couple cats, lock them in the house without any food and then go on holiday for a couple of weeks, but then he'll come back to a house covered in wees and poos (and not his own, this time)
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:08, Reply)
I suppose if he does get a cat, he could name it after the one from The Rats In The Walls.
Would be very "on brand" for our mcbeef.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:11, Reply)

youtu.be/dDfaQ-NUeLM
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:13, Reply)
I exited the fuck out of that once I read the title

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:25, Reply)
rats tend to like living in places fit for human habitation too though

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:38, Reply)
He should take the hint and concede the house to the rats.

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:44, Reply)
Befriend the rats
Then train them to be your rodent army. Send them after your ex and get them to give her the plague. Rats can't testify in court, so nothing can be proven.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:59, Reply)
A bit of a Peter Cook plan, if you ask me
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhS35f015SQ
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:36, Reply)
and the dawn comes sneaking up when it thinks I'm not looking

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:34, Reply)

the
+ French
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:51, Reply)
you couldn't really miss that though

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:56, Reply)
vlad would've appreciated this reference
rip :'(
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:57, Reply)
Second Grrry morning in a row
has he murdered all his colleagues and turned them into pierogi filling?
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:49, Reply)
one's on holiday, one's travelling, one's on sickleave
and the other team that we share a room with are a bunch of loudmouths so you can't concentrate on your work.
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 8:52, Reply)

or an
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:13, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:18, Reply)
yer, you?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:20, Reply)
All good, excited for charlton tomorrow

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 9:52, Reply)
do you know anything about 433mhz switches and relays?

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:17, Reply)
Nah not my thing

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:27, Reply)
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:32, Reply)
fuck off Sonic, I'm not made of rings

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:36, Reply)
Alright, Trevor Slattery

(, Thu 16 May 2019, 10:38, Reply)

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