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codswallop

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:34, Reply)
haddockspunch

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:49, Reply)
BOLLOCKS

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:52, Reply)
codsbollocks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:53, Reply)
alright

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 20:14, Reply)
kinda

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 20:33, Reply)
^ GAY ^

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 22:34, Reply)
Wallops cod?
Fish toucher
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Mon 21 Sep 2026, 21:11, Reply)
It refers to soft roe, the "wallop" part obviously meaning the semen load milked from male cod, fried, and eaten
The hard roe, from female cod, is referred to as "poppycock", because it resembles poppy seeds up close, and looks like a cock while it's being extruded.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 21:24, Reply)
Haha brilliant!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 21:26, Reply)
bollockscock

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 21:28, Reply)
Balderdash

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 23:42, Reply)
afternoon gooch huffers
It’s cold and I’ve had to put a jumper on.
What have you put on? You can’t say ‘the Ritz’
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 12:12, Reply)
Airs and graces.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Sep 2026, 12:32, Reply)
🎩

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 12:34, Reply)

pubic h+
gr fae
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:27, Reply)
My poor wife

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:03, Reply)
alright Les Dawson

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:35, Reply)
My dad hired a caravan for a holiday when I was very young.
I remember thinking at the time that the man running the place was that man off the telly, i.e. Les Dawson. I suppose he must have looked a bit like him. It wasn't until years later that I worked out it was probably someone else.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 14:37, Reply)
Also, I was sure that the woman who sang "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" was my primary 1 teacher.
Didn't think to question it until years later.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:00, Reply)
Could of been leading a double life.

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:30, Reply)
Could've

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:39, Reply)
Thanks
always get that wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:54, Reply)
Think of it this way: imagine it's you, and it's true.
He could have been leading a double life
I could have [could've] been leading a double life
I have been leading a double life

Conversely:
He could of been leading a double life
I could of been leading a double life
I of been leading a double life
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:25, Reply)
You're wearing her as a hat?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 18:26, Reply)
'it'
you know, like Big L
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWMjRMJ0dTI
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:29, Reply)
Word

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:36, Reply)
My pants.
Not someone else's pants. Mine. I checked.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:51, Reply)
Did they have your name sewn in?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 14:01, Reply)
I bet they're not checked.
I bet they're red with polka dots.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:24, Reply)
PODKA

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:47, Reply)
Podka Coke, no less.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Sep 2026, 18:42, Reply)
About 3 inches to my head

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 13:51, Reply)
Oops

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 14:02, Reply)
How many inches head were you giving before the increase?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:26, Reply)
Not many
Strong gag reflex and sharp teeth
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 23:43, Reply)
a record

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:31, Reply)
a hoodie.
Leaving work as soon as my laptop shuts down.
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 15:46, Reply)
A condom. As they say in the Boy Scouts, 'be prepared'

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:25, Reply)
Are we...are we the baddies?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:33, Reply)
Thinking of rearranging the deck chairs, on the Titanic

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:33, Reply)
exciting.
Will the band provide a little rearranging music?
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:51, Reply)
The hits of N*Sink.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 16:57, Reply)
Ok didnt mean to set that up
but I like a good pun
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:10, Reply)
It was a fucking awful pun, Will

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:40, Reply)
Yeah.

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 17:54, Reply)
+ Vanilla Ice

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 19:30, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 5:35, Reply)
morning misery

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:02, Reply)
morning invisibly

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:03, Reply)
Morning
I've really got to stop doing all nighters
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:45, Reply)
on the gear again eh?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:59, Reply)
I are jelly
Been ages since I got on the razzle dazzle …
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 9:35, Reply)
mǒrning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:13, Reply)
Yo, háček yourself before you wřeck yourself.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Sep 2026, 10:03, Reply)
Yes?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:46, Reply)
just missed you is all

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:50, Reply)
Apparently The Goat has forgotten about /talk, sad times

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:59, Reply)
-talk +dre

(piss and shit, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 8:08, Reply)
-dre +Dave

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 9:44, Reply)
Hi

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 11:31, Reply)
,Trouser

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 12:39, Reply)
Morning

("TEMU Bou", Mon 21 Sep 2026, 8:12, Reply)
Morning
Met up with the guys from the disbanded band yesterday as the drummer was in the UK. Had a jolly fun jamming afternoon and a couple of pints after.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 9:36, Reply)
Which band?
My friend from schools son is in a band stupidly called "cereal sauce"
So called cos the lead singer is lactose intolerant
I told her it was a stupid name
She wasn't amused. Hasn't spoken to me since
I really think I have no social graces
("TEMU Bou", Mon 21 Sep 2026, 18:36, Reply)
Presley Gerber, Cindy Crawford's son, dies aged 27.
Richard Gere strikes again.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 10:48, Reply)
Evening

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:00, Reply)
hello

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:04, Reply)
hello

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:09, Reply)
Evening

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:10, Reply)
bedtime for me

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:34, Reply)
night

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:37, Reply)
see you on the flip

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:40, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 1:38, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 5:35, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 7:12, Reply)
hello

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:10, Reply)
tell my wife hello

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:01, Reply)
Evening

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:07, Reply)
I cannot spoil such a majestic chevron

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:15, Reply)
hello?
MiseryCunt has dun a shit on it now
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:31, Reply)
i just want to watch the world burn

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:41, Reply)
Not just a clever name then

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:43, Reply)
and fuck up a chevron

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:50, Reply)
You should fuck that cunt up
Show that you won't be put upon in this manner
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:01, Reply)
i probably will but he's tired now

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:19, Reply)
i am please leave a message with my secretary

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:22, Reply)
I like to think that thousands of years in the future researchers will look at this and say, look at this

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:35, Reply)
and when they do eyes will finally be opened

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:58, Reply)
WITH A CHISEL

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:01, Reply)
look at this, they'll say, then argggg

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:19, Reply)
Hi

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:03, Reply)
Hi

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:03, Reply)
G'day japper's
I hope this find's you well
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:02, Reply)
Looking at flights out of here

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:13, Reply)
Already?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:49, Reply)
I have to book

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 19:22, Reply)
thomas cook

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:02, Reply)
Not if I find you well first.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:14, Reply)
It finds me de-smegging my extensive dildo collection, as it happens.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:17, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8485985
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 21 Sep 2026, 6:03, Reply)
Bit of a sair heid

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:18, Reply)
Few too many halves of shandy last night?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:44, Reply)
Yeah. Was DJing with my acid house pal for 6 hours.
We get paid in drinks and food, was steady away for the DJing, it was the two more pints at a different bar that's given me the hangover.

Great fun though, the bar got pretty busy and the punters were enjoying it.

Sneaked in a Marcus Intalex record early doors.
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
Can't believe I missed the opportunity to write "Burnt Cobain" in the dead pop stars pun thread. :(

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Sep 2026, 14:46, Reply)
Krisped Novoselic

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 15:23, Reply)
Grave Grohl

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 15:27, Reply)
Yeah but he wouldn't have counted because he actually is dead.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 20 Sep 2026, 15:58, Reply)
Do a Pat Smear pun mate, you've ruined the sub-thread

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 16:43, Reply)
So's Bowie, and someone did a Bowie pun.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:14, Reply)
No I fucking didn’t

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:50, Reply)
Mortney Love

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 17:42, Reply)
High queefs, I saw Volodymyr Zelenskyy earlier near Tesco's in Sunbury
Prob popping in for a meal deal I reckon
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 16:10, Reply)
Was he buying aint-no-chicken Kyivs?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:44, Reply)
I'm losing my mind
Trying to cope with a very unhappy toddler who wants her dad. He's filming and we can't get hold of him, which she doesn't understand.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 16:39, Reply)
is it a porn film?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:05, Reply)
no
his moist exterior is congealing
(piss and shit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 18:35, Reply)
I mean, that sounds a bit like a porn film

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 20:43, Reply)
Dear Queef,
I’ve had a nice chill day and am now making a lasagna.

Regard’s,
Cheers
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 17:39, Reply)
i just made smashed burgers and they were delicious.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 21:18, Reply)
Does that mean you smashed up a ready-made burger?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 22:08, Reply)
no i ground steak with my trusty kmix

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 23:03, Reply)
Hi

("TEMU Bou", Mon 21 Sep 2026, 18:38, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 1:20, Reply)
evening

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 1:34, Reply)
night

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 3:47, Reply)
CHEESE IT

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 8:07, Reply)
RUMBLED!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 12:23, Reply)
Already?
Going back to bed
(I helped save b3ta! fross Read your email on, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 8:40, Reply)
Lazy sunday

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:29, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 8:44, Reply)
I've just bought some new trousers in Cheshire.
Altrincham?

No, they fit perfectly!!!
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 9:30, Reply)
Knutsford?
They are a little snug, yes
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 9:41, Reply)
Chester?

I barely know 'er!
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 9:51, Reply)

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 10:43, Reply)
Failed on all points, about to get b&

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 10:48, Reply)
If any of that were even remotely enforced, /talk would have been shut down a decade ago.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:12, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:10, Reply)
alright will

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:34, Reply)
Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 12:02, Reply)
Paul McKarkney

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:58, Reply)
Liam GallAAAARGHer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:01, Reply)
Ringtone Starr

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:10, Reply)
lol autocorrect

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:19, Reply)
Well I'm still proud of it

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 16:16, Reply)
Damn you for getting my hopes up. 😕

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:02, Reply)
You're just jealous because you don't have a brother who calls your children and threatens them with violence

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:37, Reply)
I'm assuming

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 21:08, Reply)
I'm mr horrible

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 23:41, Reply)
let it all out babez

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 0:24, Reply)
If we're doing confessions: I'm quite clever and have many plain t-shirts

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 0:25, Reply)
Iggy Popped his clogs

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:06, Reply)
Dr DOA

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:08, Reply)
Ringo Startingtorot

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:33, Reply)
David Bowingout

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:34, Reply)
No Moreissey

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:39, Reply)
<s>u</s> l

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:41, Reply)
I bagsy posting 'deeper underground' when jay kay carks it

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 14:00, Reply)
Dead Sheeran

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:51, Reply)
Macklenomore

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:52, Reply)
alright the Proclaimers

(piss and shit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 18:18, Reply)
Corpsey Taylor

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 19:47, Reply)
morning bogwoppits

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 5:59, Reply)
Hi

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 6:18, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 6:22, Reply)
fuck off then

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
What are bogwoppits, are they an inbred mountain tribe from deepest Wakistan?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 7:01, Reply)
fucking hell
I remember reading that as a kid
(piss and shit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 9:43, Reply)
Didn't read it, but it was on Jackanory
- nothing but the name and the illustration stuck in my head
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 9:53, Reply)
I've never heard of it
#bookchat
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:17, Reply)
A novel by Stephen King, quite well known really

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:51, Reply)
Fascinatingly, I read a few of his books when I was young, but not It.
Never seen any of the adaptations either.

#bookchat #b3tatalkcontent #thatsinterestinghedgehog
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:16, Reply)
I’ve read most of the early ones but lost interest later on
Love all the adaptations though, even the cheesy low-budget ones.
Also The Shining is my all time favourite film
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:40, Reply)
The Shining also one of my favourite films.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:55, Reply)
I very much like The Shining, one of the few adaptations that's better than the book.
Even if chinless cokeface famously disagrees.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:02, Reply)
It's a masterpiece.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:08, Reply)
You can easily skip 400 pages from the middle of IT
And it won't make a bit of fucking difference to the story
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:00, Reply)
The bit where they gangbang the 12 year old girl?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 16:03, Reply)
That counts for a few pages, yes

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 16:30, Reply)
Me either
It looks like it was popular with a few of us though.
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:54, Reply)
So is racism, so it's not a great recommendation

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:03, Reply)
I thought they were from Mongololololia

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 8:42, Reply)
alright Ricky Gervais, you haven't been funny since Extras.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:10, Reply)

Extras birth
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:17, Reply)
Seconded

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:42, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 8:39, Reply)
Sounds a bit racist

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:03, Reply)
Yeah, I was going to say that.
It is a bit brb-klaxony.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:12, Reply)
if you were Irish-Italian, I imagine it would be triggering.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:17, Reply)
ciao patata

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 14:57, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:15, Reply)
OH PISS OFF

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:41, Reply)

O
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:43, Reply)
This is terrifically rude.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:23, Reply)
i know

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:19, Reply)
Stephanie Cold

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:35, Reply)
Stiffanie

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 19:03, Reply)
To where?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:45, Reply)
upsetting news?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 19:17, Reply)

n j
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:59, Reply)
piss related?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 22:02, Reply)
PISS OFF NEXT TO ME

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:05, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:59, Reply)
OK, this is lol.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 18 Sep 2026, 21:13, Reply)
Why?
What has happened to make you feel this negative? I get it, life sometimes kicks you in the spuds, but is it anything we can help with?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 23:40, Reply)
you could try pissing off

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 23:57, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 0:25, Reply)
Parp
I need to start making more money
Beans again
("TEMU Bou", Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:44, Reply)
you're going to sell beans?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 21:19, Reply)
No I can only afford beans for dinner
Hence my obsession with farting
Parp
("TEMU Bou", Mon 21 Sep 2026, 8:08, Reply)
Overdue afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:56, Reply)
Hi

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:11, Reply)
Shove it up your ring piece, fuckwit

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:15, Reply)
SEX PEST BEBBEH!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:18, Reply)
DD52S

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:26, Reply)
Use your membership ID as shown on your membership ID card. If you are using the membership ID found in the address portion of your SOARING magazine, DO NOT enter the preceding zeros.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:29, Reply)
SOARING magazine

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:30, Reply)
MOTHERFUCKERS BE SOARIN

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:33, Reply)
THEY SEE ME SOARIN', THEY HATIN'

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:45, Reply)
DO NOT enter the preceding zeros

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:47, Reply)
Pay attention 7, it's not a toy

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:38, Reply)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the ze

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:39, Reply)
ps I did it again

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:41, Reply)
bi-Wan never told you what happened to your father

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:43, Reply)
More like SORE RING magazine, round these parts, eh pals?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:34, Reply)
00

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:40, Reply)
There's an 'le in the zone layer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:14, Reply)
Two Hundred Leagues Under The Sea

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 0:36, Reply)
arseboon overduo

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:14, Reply)
Sounds like some sort of 1990s authentication method

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:15, Reply)
I see you too have been cursed by Duo MFA
Duo MFA being my favorite member of Wu-Tang Clan
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:20, Reply)
ODBC

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:26, Reply)
on RedHat/CentOS sudo yum install unixODBC unixODBC-devel

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:32, Reply)
on Windows you RUN CMD

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:27, Reply)
It's tricky.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:34, Reply)
You can't grow a neckbeard with commands like that

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:45, Reply)
C.R.E.A.M.
Cheers Reads Eggy Arsehole Monthly
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:33, Reply)
So do I

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:35, Reply)
+Sm

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:35, Reply)
it's for albuwomen and albumen

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:38, Reply)
Different yolks for different folks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:41, Reply)
Comes with a cardboard binder that holds up to 12 issues

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:50, Reply)
I tried to track down the publisher but it's just a shell company

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:55, Reply)
It's ok but it doesn't really cater to my Humpty Dumpty fetish

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:56, Reply)
You need to get ova that

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:29, Reply)
Guess what I've got on my face

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:42, Reply)
You’re damn right I do

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:03, Reply)
1980s supercar

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:00, Reply)
#infest

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 0:32, Reply)
Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:49, Reply)
getting on the dizzyade for Peter Shilton's birthday
get invovled
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:43, Reply)
Peter Shiltoff amirite

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:46, Reply)
tilted and shilted

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:58, Reply)
Fizzy egg juice?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:30, Reply)
Fucking shitty wanky 2 / 7
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cmgrvdyxwz0go
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:25, Reply)
4/7 Horsing around
Probably the first time at this that I wish I'd done less well, because getting a score of 'Flogging a dead horse' would just have been too perfect for this place.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:35, Reply)
May I humbly suggest the noble medium of Outright Lies?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
My god, you're right.
I'd never even thought of that. As anathematic as the very idea sounds, I think this might be an arguable case for lying on the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:11, Reply)
2/7 fuck a horse

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:40, Reply)
Slingshot Homolog

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:10, Reply)
By which I mean 1/7

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:04, Reply)
Who's ever heard of any of the TV shows that win shit?
Or Sydney Sweeney, who apparently the only time anybody cares to mention her existence is in relation to what clothes are worn or not in an advert?
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:06, Reply)
She has big tits tho

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:09, Reply)
I mean, its probably not unfair to say that's true of around a quarter of the population of the planet

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:40, Reply)
You nasty little sex pest

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:48, Reply)
Less of the little

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:50, Reply)
Christ remember when orange faced sex pest only meant forum user SikRik

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:55, Reply)
He's the president now

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:01, Reply)
Actually she has an oversized unibreast which is separated into two distinct sub-units via a cunning mechanism and AI

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:11, Reply)
3/7 Dead Van Dyke

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:45, Reply)
3/7 hot horny horse action

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:24, Reply)
3/7 Bob Holness nip slip pics

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:24, Reply)
Cor

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:29, Reply)
It's AI, you can tell

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:48, Reply)
Slingshot homolog

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:59, Reply)
4/7 Feeling a little horse

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:26, Reply)
1/7, a new low

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:51, Reply)
Why the long face?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:12, Reply)
Donkey shit is like horse shit
🥷🏻
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:59, Reply)
5/7 getting an extra packet of salt in your Salt ‘n’ Shake crisps
Best result in ages and they were all guesses.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:21, Reply)
Congratulations!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:23, Reply)
4/7 smeggy bread

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:53, Reply)
4/7 - Wild guesses drag me away

("TEMU Bou", Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:56, Reply)
4 across (3)(5)
Key West Florida fire chief and convicted drug dealer, went missing Feb 1976
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:34, Reply)
Funny name corner.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:37, Reply)
arseboon farto

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:38, Reply)
arsebum dilfarto

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:39, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SSH1
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:43, Reply)
I'm seeing Slingshot Homolog at Infest!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:11, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post2636913
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:39, Reply)
Wee Plops

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:39, Reply)
Wee plopper girl jappers

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:58, Reply)
and their hit 'wee stule'

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:59, Reply)
Ass Gassy

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:35, Reply)
Night

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 0:45, Reply)
Night

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 1:04, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:07, Reply)
Morning, morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:08, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 9:50, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 5:46, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 6:13, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:00, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:08, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:12, Reply)
bumflaps

(piss and shit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:12, Reply)
There's always one, isn't there. 🙄

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:09, Reply)
I think you'll find there are normally two, the clue's in the pluralisation

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:11, Reply)
If he had any honour he’d delete his post and restore the beauty of this morning chevron

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:14, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:08, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:11, Reply)
Fucking get in, unexpected 13% payrise.
Finally, a salary that starts with a 3!
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:29, Reply)

p g
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:12, Reply)
unexgected

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:13, Reply)
Alright monster munch

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:34, Reply)
Bum Farto yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 12:47, Reply)
Cor!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:20, Reply)

um Farto oondocks,
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:23, Reply)
People put me down because that's the side of town I was born in

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:45, Reply)
Love a bit of Bum Farto

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:30, Reply)
If you insist

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:33, Reply)
to the tune of 'So Macho'

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 14:24, Reply)
Tried to return my used Scooby-Doo pants today.
Would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those pesky skids.
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
^2 in the jinkies 1 in the stinkies

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 15:07, Reply)
Now that's a scrappy doo

(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Thu 17 Sep 2026, 16:14, Reply)
- Raggy?
- No, they're intact!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 16:17, Reply)
Fucking lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:16, Reply)
Apologies, I’ve been too busy to participate in this, the most Bum Farto of threads on /chat
I’ve let myself down, but more importantly I’ve let Bum Farto down
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:13, Reply)
I seem to remember you were a bit lukewarm about Dick Butkus, you seem to have a problem with strong manly men

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:32, Reply)
It’s why I rarely post on /links

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:19, Reply)
and yet here you are looking into my eyes and talking to me

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 21:32, Reply)
Nobody is lukewarm about Dick Butkus

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 22:38, Reply)
Not on my watch!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 0:04, Reply)
Too tired

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 18:23, Reply)
You're probably jest-lagged

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 19:01, Reply)
I'm just pissed off
Found out today that I don't just have a hernia, I also have gallstones, which are the likely culprit of my very painful trapped wind. I've now been referred to 2 surgeons because I need 2 operations.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 19:56, Reply)
On the plus side, gall bladder is usually done laparoscopically, very short recovery time, and you'll probably have a bunch of minor ailments improve afterwards

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:10, Reply)
I hope so
Mum had gallstones, the second they cut into her, she turned yellow. Jaundice. She was stuck in for 9 days. Still, it's been at least a couple of years since I had surgery, I was almost beginning to miss it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:31, Reply)
shite innit
Gallstone or hernia, both are fucking awful
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 22:09, Reply)
I'm not bothered about the surgery
I just get stabby about the pain
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 1:04, Reply)
Dunno, what are his policies?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:11, Reply)
Unsure, but I suspect they’re mostly fart-right

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:20, Reply)
He blew off a lot of competition to get the nomination

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 21:32, Reply)
His nomination filled a hole

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 23:00, Reply)
it was a stop-gap measure

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 0:22, Reply)
FFS let's do this properly. Morning.

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:22, Reply)
Replying in the Official Morning Thread™️

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:30, Reply)
Awarding a 100% authentic morning back.

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:46, Reply)
Anyone for a pokey bumwank?

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:54, Reply)
Not on halfcock titmeat day

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:31, Reply)
Garold.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:48, Reply)
Aardvark

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:54, Reply)
Always believe in your saroul

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:58, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:52, Reply)
Good morning
how's the lurgy now? Antibionics done their work?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:55, Reply)
Yep
Just got off the phone with the doctor's, this trapped wind needs sorting and I need a referral for the hiatus hernia which is probably the case of it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:17, Reply)
like this?
www.youtube.com/shorts/wQC1_ynbDYs
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:19, Reply)
Not quite

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:26, Reply)
Bum Farto

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 15:23, Reply)
Hi

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:54, Reply)
Hiyas

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:55, Reply)
can't believe I missed the Bum Farto thread

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:58, Reply)
There’ll be another one along soon

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:09, Reply)
There'll probably be two at the same time eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 10:45, Reply)
There'll be loads, like in that film, Blazing Fartos

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:33, Reply)
Donnie Farto

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 14:28, Reply)
GEOSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:05, Reply)
look for this mark to ensure your morning thread is 100% authentic

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:05, Reply)
skid +

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 10:46, Reply)
GEOSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:23, Reply)
"My name? Yes, it's G. O. Storm."

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:25, Reply)
I'm not original at all.
I shall go and flagellate myself until I come up with something funny.
b3ta.com/talk/8445759

with something funny Queef's mum
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:55, Reply)
Morning

("TEMU Bou", Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:53, Reply)
Morning indeed

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:56, Reply)
Bum Farto y/n

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:17, Reply)
y

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 12:00, Reply)
No need for the objectifying language mate, take it elsewhere.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 12:00, Reply)
Even if you would, he probably would.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 16:52, Reply)
y

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:35, Reply)

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