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Because I'm on my last day of paternity leave because my greedy wife won't share any of her maternity leave.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:34, archived)
being back at work is much better than being at home with a screaming infant

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)
He's got other people's screaming infants at work

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)