b3ta.com user mobi
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Im a 3D computer animator by day, also enjoy performing magic.

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» The Police II

I was in LA for the first time a couple years ago, and a few of us wasted no time in leaving the hotel and hitting Sunset. We were drinking beer towers (4 foot plastic tube filled with lager and a small tap at the bottom) in a bar called Saddle Ranch.

It was my round and I duly coughed up a $100 note to pay the tab. A couple of minutes later, the manager comes over and explains that the note I've just given him is fake and would I mind giving more money to conclude the transaction.

I inform him that I wish to have the note back and Ill gladly pay the required sum.

'Oh no', says he, 'its an illegal note, so I have to confiscate it'.

Now, I may have been severely jet lagged, and perhaps a touch inebriated but even through that double combo of brain fog I clocked that this was more than likely a rouse to claim some huge tips out of us unsuspecting tourists.

'Jog on sir' I inform him, 'go and get it'.

He refuses again, and a heated exchange follows. Eventually, I say, 'Fine, get the Sheriff up here, and he can give me a report or something that says you've taken it and I can claim it back from Travelex.'

The manager informs us that we really dont want to get the police involved, to which we of course shouted back 'I bet you fucking dont you thieving yankee bastard'.

We decide to leave and as we walk down the road no less than 4, yes FOUR, LAPD squad cars roar up to us, blocking traffic and boxing us in.

Im bundled into the back of the police car and spend the next 20minutes being grilled by 3 officers one after the other, the last of which informs me that using forged currency is a Federal offence. For those not accustomed to US law, thats pretty fucking bad. He informs he they can either let me go, or llock me up until a judge issues bail.

Inwardly I think 'Holy fucking Christ!!!!!' ...yet outwardly, somehow I remain composed enough to ask 'I see, so what are you going to do?'

Luckily for me, the cop agrees to let me go.
Fast forward to 3am the next morning. I get a call from the night manager that an officer from LAPD is here and wants to speak to me. I get the same 'Holy fucking Christ' feeling again and walk down to the lobby. Waiting for me is the same guy from the night before who strides up to me with the kind of swagger only and American cop can command.

Mr Mobi, we've had the guys at the lab examine the note and have concluded that it is legal tender, it is just an older note, here it is back.

"Say what?"

"Sorry for the trouble, enjoy the rest of your stay."

And he walks out.

Im sure had I not been so stressed/relieved/glad it was fucking over, I could have had grounds to sue or something, but to be honest I was pretty fucking shell shocked.
Our room was broken into the next night and my wallet got nicked along with the note.
(Fri 6th May 2011, 17:11, More)

» Dad stories

Dad Vs Text
My dad had *just* about learnt how to operate his ancient Nokia mobile phone, but texting seems to still allude him.

Therefore, whenever the parentals go on holiday or a long journey, instead of getting something like 'have arrived in Prague ok, talk soon son', I got:


Highlights also include:


He also has more cute girls sub 30 on his facebook than I do.
(Thu 25th Nov 2010, 12:55, More)

» Clubs, gangs, and societies

Pick a card...
Ive been into magic for as long as I can remember and am currently a 10 year veteran of The Magic Circle, London. I go regularly on a Monday night and have come to realise that as cool as I think magic is, I am in reality but one of a very geeky group men who argue over using a diagonal palm shift instead of a cover pass. But at least we go to Nandos after..

Rock n roll baby.

Quick video here if card tricks tickle your fancy
(Thu 21st Jun 2012, 19:22, More)

» Breasts

Bra tester...
My first girlfriend was blessed was some rather awesome 34EE's.
Being young and less argumentative, I was often dragged around shops with her in search of bras/bikinis which involved endless miles around the west end and her trying on thousands upon thousands of garments.

It was then genius struck; I discovered that my head was exactly the same size as my loverly lady's boobs. Hence, the need for her to actually try them on was eliminated as all we had to do was see if my head fit in the cup of the bra - if so, we had a winner.

Made shopping more entertaining all round...

...and I still get a Bravissmo catalogue in the post every now and again, despite not having bought anything from them in nearly 8 years.

Still, pretty girls are in it so every cloud and all that jazz...

Lenght; negligable, Volume; copius...
(Fri 7th May 2010, 16:29, More)

» Flirting

Shes out of my league...
This phrase keeps popping up in many of these flirtatious exploits and does bother me that guys/girls genuinely believe this...

Alongside my 9-5 job, Im a dating coach and have worked with clients all over the world. The 'out of my league' excuse is possibly the number 1 thing I have to fight to get out of their heads; why should a girl/guy you don't know be out of your league?

I genuinely believe no one is out of anyone's 'league' - its b0ll0cks - its just an ego protection device to avoid dealing with being rejected by said 'out-of-my-leaguer'

Almost 100% of the time, its not *you* thats being rejected - its your *approach*.

How can he/she reject you as a person, they don't know you. Therefore, lose the part of you that gives a toss what a random person thinks about you.

Confidently (& preferably soberly) approach people you like, whether its in Starbucks or a night club, have a plan of what you're going to say and I think you'll be surprised...!
(Mon 22nd Feb 2010, 12:02, More)
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