b3ta.com user bigshape
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Profile for bigshape:
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that's it.

Recent front page messages:

i just don't know anymore...

(Tue 7th Jun 2005, 14:48, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Petty Sabotage

stop fucking us off. (a bit long - sorry!)
one day me and a mate were messing about with the radio in the kitchen and tuned into some irate guy on a cordless phone. we listened for a bit and discovered that he had lost his mobile the night before and he was trying to get it cancelled. he was getting more and more pissed off with the vodafone people, getting passed around various departments, getting disconnected, and constantly giving his number out every time... we waited until he hung up, dialed 141 followed by his number, then proceeded to say, "hello. this is vodafone. stop fucking us off!" then hung up.
the guy went nuts, started calling vodafone and giving them a right bollocking. then he called BT to try and trace the call, and even called the police! ha ha ha! we pissed ourselves! and we taped it all as well! brilliant!
(Wed 11th May 2005, 17:27, More)

» Dad Jokes

I used to really like it when my dad would pretend to throw me over the side on ferry journeys to France when i was a kid...

no, really, it was fucking hilarious...
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 16:22, More)

» I'm your biggest Fan

tosh from the bill
once in lincoln i saw the actor that used to play DC tosh lines in the bill.
i followed him around for a bit until he went into a kebab shop.
he's dead now.
(Wed 22nd Apr 2009, 16:24, More)

» Darwin Awards

steep hill + rollerskates + cobbles = ouch
i grew up in lincoln.
i used to have some rollerskates.
for people not familiar with lincoln, there is a hill that leads up to the cathedral / castle area appropriately named 'steep hill' - it is steep.
there's smooth pavement down either side and a cobbled section in the middle.

i found out that pedestrians don't move out of the way when you come flying towards them on rollerskates on the smooth bit...

cobbles and rollerskates don't mix.
(Fri 13th Feb 2009, 10:37, More)

» Food sex

an aunt of mine once bought me
a jar of chocolate body paint for xmas!

and this was when i still lived with my parents...

(Thu 6th Aug 2009, 15:17, More)
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