b3ta.com user King of Teh Internets
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He'll Grant You A Wish
...that you can't refuse.

Fairy Godfather

[edit:](holy crap...my first FP! Thanks!)
(Sat 23rd Oct 2004, 14:11, More)

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» Lies Your Parents Told You

OK, one more:
When I was a kid, one of my best friends moved away. I was devastated, and would sit on the front porch of their empty house and cry. One day, I discovered that their pet cat stayed behind, and I quickly became attached to it. I screamed and cried and begged my parents to let me keep it, and at first they relented. However, one day my father said to me that the cat could not stay here, and that he would bring it to the precinct (he was a policeman) as a mascot. I was thrilled! It was revealed me years later that the cat never made it to his workplace; he took the cat and threw it out the car window on the busy expressway into New York City. Needless to say, that still bugs me today.
(Sun 18th Jan 2004, 14:32, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

This one always stuck with me...
When I was ten or so, I needed to talk to Mom about something, and she and Dad were nowhere to be found. I thought I'd try their bedroom, and barged in. My father had his pants around his ankles, and my Mom was leaning over his midsection. After they shouted, "Get the hell out of here!" and I ran, my Mom told me that my father had a large, painful pimple that needed to be "popped" down there. Perfectly plausible then, and a hilarious excuse today.
(Sun 18th Jan 2004, 14:25, More)