b3ta.com user Zoblet
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» Amazing displays of ignorance

Checkout Touche
I was at Tesco buying a couple of things and for once paid with a tenner instead of my card. In my usual trace I said to the checkout girl: "Can I have some cash back please?"

Without a moment's thought she said
"Yes sir, it's called change".

Titters from people in queue behind as I "Um, er, ah yes, very good, ahem" my way out of the store.
(Tue 23rd Mar 2010, 15:54, More)

» Accidental innuendo

The Cinema
Back when I was married, I was at the cinema with my ex and my mate and his missus. My mate and my ex went to buy tickets and me and his wife went to get drinks and sweets. Having bought the drinks and a magnum I spotted the popcorn counter. Then the ghost of Rev Spooner grabbed control of my brain and I said "Do you fancy come cock porn?"

She gave me a look.
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 15:04, More)

» Slang Survey

Waste Of Money Brains And Time
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 14:56, More)

» Slang Survey

"Looks like his face caught fire and somebody put it out with a spade"
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 14:50, More)

» Slang Survey

Been having fun recently by calling everyone "Monkey" It works as a term of affection (girlfriend, kids); someone who isn't behaving ("get 'em in Monkey") or as a term of derision ("Oi you! Monkey").

It's a bit of a swiss army knife.
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 14:53, More)
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