Profile for MartinH:
Come from the Midlunds
Live on a boat
Don't like fish
hollowaymartin at hotmail.com
Obligatory band website - www.rockitpad.com
My nephew found a friend called Mr Pecky
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 21 years, 3 months and 24 days
- has posted 1338 messages on the main board
- (of which 56 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 10 messages on the talk board
- has posted 510 messages on the links board
- (including 114 links)
- has posted 23 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 419 pictures, 148 links, 0 talk posts, and 2 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Come from the Midlunds
Live on a boat
Don't like fish
hollowaymartin at hotmail.com
Obligatory band website - www.rockitpad.com
My nephew found a friend called Mr Pecky

Recent front page messages:
Right, that's it, he's going back to the shop. I told you we should have chosen the cute ginger one.

(Thu 13th Nov 2003, 11:57, More)

(Thu 13th Nov 2003, 11:57, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Have you ever paid for sex?
I was walking along the front on Copacabana beach (as you do)
when a not unattractive lady of the night, came up to me asking if I was interested. Suddenly she grabbed my nuts, laughed and then walked off.
I laughed too, but a bit further on, I suddenly realized that she'd pickpocketed 3 quid from my trousers when she grabbed my nuts.
But I then realized that many people would pay more than 3 quid to have their nuts grabbed.
(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 16:11, More)
I was walking along the front on Copacabana beach (as you do)
when a not unattractive lady of the night, came up to me asking if I was interested. Suddenly she grabbed my nuts, laughed and then walked off.
I laughed too, but a bit further on, I suddenly realized that she'd pickpocketed 3 quid from my trousers when she grabbed my nuts.
But I then realized that many people would pay more than 3 quid to have their nuts grabbed.
(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 16:11, More)
» Jobsworths
When they first brought in £10 fines for not having the right ticket on the underground
they sent out leaflets which explained the rules - and one rule I read said that if you have a travelcard, but go out of zone, you can pay the excess when you arrive.
So when I arrived out of zone, the more than rotund official said
Him - "£10 fine for you, sonny"
Me - "No, the rule is that you can pay the excess when you arrive"
Him - " I work for London Underground, not you, you'll do what I say"
Me - "Fetch the manager"
Him - "No, you'll pay the fine"
Me - "Fetch the manager" - fetches manager
Manager (even more rotund) - "You'll pay that £10 fine, and you shouldn't argue with officials"
Me - " Fetch a book of rules, I'll show you"
Manager - "We haven't got any, they're at another station"
Me - "Well, go and get one"
Manager sends spoddy trainee on tube to another station while we glare at each other, he returns with book of rules - I show him the rule that backs me up.
Manager - "Well, just this once, I've decided to let you off the fine and just pay the excess, but don't ever do that again"
Both go off (and have comfort chips I assume)
(Thu 12th May 2005, 22:51, More)
When they first brought in £10 fines for not having the right ticket on the underground
they sent out leaflets which explained the rules - and one rule I read said that if you have a travelcard, but go out of zone, you can pay the excess when you arrive.
So when I arrived out of zone, the more than rotund official said
Him - "£10 fine for you, sonny"
Me - "No, the rule is that you can pay the excess when you arrive"
Him - " I work for London Underground, not you, you'll do what I say"
Me - "Fetch the manager"
Him - "No, you'll pay the fine"
Me - "Fetch the manager" - fetches manager
Manager (even more rotund) - "You'll pay that £10 fine, and you shouldn't argue with officials"
Me - " Fetch a book of rules, I'll show you"
Manager - "We haven't got any, they're at another station"
Me - "Well, go and get one"
Manager sends spoddy trainee on tube to another station while we glare at each other, he returns with book of rules - I show him the rule that backs me up.
Manager - "Well, just this once, I've decided to let you off the fine and just pay the excess, but don't ever do that again"
Both go off (and have comfort chips I assume)
(Thu 12th May 2005, 22:51, More)
» How I Skive Off Work
When I worked at the East Midlands Airport restaurant
'emptying the bins' was a three hour operation, which involved seven of us taking turns to do handbrake turns and wheel spins in the restaurant's transit van down a runway service road.
The actual placing of the bin bag into the skip was then carried out with great ceremony and reverence.
(Wed 27th Apr 2005, 17:26, More)
When I worked at the East Midlands Airport restaurant
'emptying the bins' was a three hour operation, which involved seven of us taking turns to do handbrake turns and wheel spins in the restaurant's transit van down a runway service road.
The actual placing of the bin bag into the skip was then carried out with great ceremony and reverence.
(Wed 27th Apr 2005, 17:26, More)
» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces
A guy at my school
stole a bullet from the cadet force and spent the whole afternoon sitting under the school stage threatening to hit it with a hammer and kill himself.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 12:11, More)
A guy at my school
stole a bullet from the cadet force and spent the whole afternoon sitting under the school stage threatening to hit it with a hammer and kill himself.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 12:11, More)
» It was a great holiday, but...
Whilst playing frisbee in front of an appreciative gathering
outside the Sofia Palace of Culture in Bulgaria, I hooked a shot into one of its 12ft by 8ft smoked glass windows and broke it.
My friend and I ran away and jumped onto the nearest bus, which was pursued through traffic by a police Lada. We jumped off and hid/got very drunk in a bar.
I hereby apologize to all Bulgarians, because you're all really nice.
A week later, with the same frisbee, my friend hit a 70 year old lady follower of the prophet Petradanov in the back of the head very hard. Luckily she forgave him.
Two days later, the s-bend fell off a toilet midflush, flooding the ancient Sveti Naum Monastery in Macedonia, and so we legged it into the relative safety of Albania.
(Thu 21st Apr 2005, 14:31, More)
Whilst playing frisbee in front of an appreciative gathering
outside the Sofia Palace of Culture in Bulgaria, I hooked a shot into one of its 12ft by 8ft smoked glass windows and broke it.
My friend and I ran away and jumped onto the nearest bus, which was pursued through traffic by a police Lada. We jumped off and hid/got very drunk in a bar.
I hereby apologize to all Bulgarians, because you're all really nice.
A week later, with the same frisbee, my friend hit a 70 year old lady follower of the prophet Petradanov in the back of the head very hard. Luckily she forgave him.
Two days later, the s-bend fell off a toilet midflush, flooding the ancient Sveti Naum Monastery in Macedonia, and so we legged it into the relative safety of Albania.
(Thu 21st Apr 2005, 14:31, More)