b3ta.com user Just Juan Cornetto
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Looking for a full time experienced C# web app developer for SW-London dev agency. Interested? e-mail: jobs 'at' fsite 'dot' com


Richard knew that his lack of faith would eventually disturb someone

Your powers are weak old man

Got 'im!...

Now all I need is a bit of card to put underneath and he's out the window!

I found this in my bath...

I call her shelly. She seems friendly enough but is quite excitable.

For the love of god, wake up kitty!

Look out for that bus!

Don't ever tell Brian a good joke.

Quick and definitley dirty.


Saw this on holiday...

Didn't know whether to leg it or point and laugh.

Aww. It was the proudest moment of his life, ...sniff...

Posh Pirate.

Credit to talented original artist here.

Click here for non-drip version.

Recent front page messages:

Now with added sneakyness

(Thu 8th Feb 2007, 12:20, More)

I'm so sorry, again.

(Fri 22nd Apr 2005, 15:49, More)

Daisy lives for the Hip Hop

Check out her full-phat moves.
(Tue 16th Mar 2004, 11:42, More)

Classic cartoon comedy devices no.4 - Ingesting explosives

1. Delayed gravity
2. Eating big stuff
3. Squishy heads
(Wed 8th Oct 2003, 14:14, More)

Marilyn Monrobot

(Mon 29th Sep 2003, 13:03, More)

New from Psygnosis
Ta for fp.
(Thu 12th Jun 2003, 18:04, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Accidental innuendo

My Gran, to the rest of the queue in the post office...
as a stranger's dog excitedly yaps around her; 'Oh! I expect he can smell my silly old pussy'.

Cue extreme and never seen before (or since) levels of embarrassment.
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 16:11, More)

» Fire!

My brother's hair
I thought it would be a laugh to squirt lighter refill gas into the sucky end of my parent's hoover whilst it was on. Being wise beyond my years, I convinced my younger brother that he should hold a lit match to the hoover's output port thing at the same time. I can only describe the resulting noise as a deep 'crump!', the hoover jumped a few inches and stopped working.

After picking ourselves up and getting over the initial shock we noticed the horrible smell of burnt hair. Thinking it was just burnt hair in the hoover we didn't worry too much.

5 mins later, I hear my brother scream from the bathroom. He came running down the stairs clutching the side of his head where there used to be hair.

Fearing the wrath of my parents, I gave him a tenner (loads when you are 14) to go and get his hair cut.

The parents never knew and could'nt understand why their hoover suddenly stopped working.
(Thu 3rd Nov 2005, 13:01, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

Poor kid
We had a Vietnamese refugee kid at our primary school called Bin Lid, he didn't stand a chance.
(Fri 19th May 2006, 9:09, More)

» Premonitions

The truth is out there...
About 6 months ago at a family get together, my brother, 2 years my younger, and I were chatting away when I mentioned a weird dream that I had when I was very small, about 8 years old. At least it must have been a dream, but it seemed very real...

I dreamt that I woke up for an unexplained reason in the middle of the night in my bedroom which I shared with my sleeping brother. I was mysteriously drawn to the window. Looking out I saw what was quite clearly a UFO, very 'close encounters' in its design, bright lights and everything. It was gently drifting across the sky about 100 yards away.

Something about the spaceship compelled me not to make a fuss, or get excited about it, just to calmly go back to bed and not tell anyone. Although I still remember it now, 20 years later.

Listening to my story, my brother looked shocked, in a hushed voice he said 'I had that exact same dream when I was 6 but have never told anyone about it'.

/whistles x-files music.
(Fri 19th Nov 2004, 10:46, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

In my dad's shed...
...I wanted to see whether motor oil could catch fire. It did, in a plastic flower pot which exploded when I panicked and threw water on it to try and put it out. Don't do it kids!

Once I got my brother to lean over the hoover exhaust as I squeezed lighter refill gas down the suction end followed by a lit match. Wooomph! I gave him a tenner to quickly go and get his hair sorted out before the scrotes came home. I was young ok!
(Tue 2nd Mar 2004, 18:02, More)
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