b3ta.com user bloobloo
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I signed up back in my final year at university and nearly didn't do any work but somehow got through. When I started work b3ta was blocked but I've since caught up and now spend most of my time on /talk. Or at least I did until they blocked it again.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Guilty Secrets

I broke the environment
A little different to most of the usual "I shagged X when I was with Y" ones.

In a previous job, I had to look over some of the Department of the Environment's pollution figures for the country to verify whether they were accurate. This seemed like a tricky job, so instead I made a list of everything that could possibly be wrong with the way they were measured, exaggerating a little to make my point. I sent back my report after a couple of days and then forgot about it. Otherwise it would have been months of tedious number crunching.

Fast forward a couple of years, and I found out that due to deficiencies in the reporting method, the pollutants I was looking at are excluded from some of the rules in Europe.

So, if you experience bad weather from global warming, or acid rain, sorry. That'd be my fault.
(Tue 4th Sep 2007, 16:36, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

When really tired
Close your door, pour paperclips on the floor next to it, and then lie down for a nap. Not only will it look like you're doing something, you'll also get an apology for getting hit by the door!
(Fri 29th Apr 2005, 11:18, More)

» Pure Ignorance

One time I was on a forum
And this guy was moaning that calling someone a chav was as bad as calling them a nigger.
(Wed 12th Jan 2005, 14:39, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Life as a chemical engineer
I work as a engineer for one of the biggest and oldest remaining chemical companies in the country.

I am currently working on a test project that is massively over budget, excessively late, and we know won't give us any real results. However our division director accidentally told the rest of the board that it was up and running, so he is throwing lots of money our way to get it going eventually.

Did I mention that this project is located in the Caribbean? This means that I'm living out here on expenses, with a tenant paying for my mortgage at home, with only petrol (at 25p per litre) and my groceries to pay for.

We could have stopped earlier and saved a few million pounds but the director would have lost face. And I'm not going to complain about this. Especially with how being a rich expat makes you suddenly very attractive to the local women!
(Tue 2nd Oct 2007, 18:31, More)

» When animals attack...

Back in cadets
We were on a 24 hour exercise, and I was on sentry duty over night. Now being a little 14 year old schoolboy, rather than a proper soldier, I fell asleep at about 4 am. I was woken by a loud "baa" noise in front of me, and reflexively fired my rifle, which I had left loaded and with the safety off.

Fortunately, being cadets this only had blanks in (and probably wasn't pointed at this enemy anyway), so it just resulted in a sheep running off at break-neck speed, and me being taken back to camp after being bollocked for a negligent discharge. Still, I got to have a bit of a nap, so it wasn't all bad!
(Sun 5th Jun 2005, 19:28, More)
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