» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?

Before they were properly famous
Blazing squad came to play in our school hall and we smashed up their van.

We keyed all the paintwork and broke one of the back windows with a stone. Then when they were leaving we shouted at them to "fuck off" as they were "shit bastards"

Our form teacher didnt seem to mind actually, but that might've been because we were bigger than him.
(Wed 14th Apr 2004, 23:21, More)

» Dad Jokes

The pain of it all
"Why do anarchists drink herbal tea? Because proper-tea is theft!"

Also, whenever we've just eaten a big meal he says "a nice little starter, now where's the main course?"
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 17:23, More)

» Heckles

Not really a heckle
But at the last comedy night I went to some guy in the audience stripped naked.
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 16:18, More)

» Child Labour

There was this one house on my paper round
that I hated delivering to. It was this huge old victorian mansion with big high fences and trees that blocked out the light, so the garden was always dark. They had this horrible rottweiler and every time you went in you ran the risk of being ripped to shreds.

So this one morning I'm taking them their church times, making my way up the path, and as I get to the door I find the scariest sight I've ever seen in my life. No, not the rottweiler. NAKED OLD MAN!
"Good morning" He said.
"Morning" I replied, handed over the paper and went on my merry way.
(Mon 20th Feb 2006, 22:25, More)

» I'm an expert

Wanking
I get so much practice
(Thu 23rd Jun 2005, 17:43, More)