b3ta.com user HongKongFluey
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» Accidentally Erotic

Massage Parlour
A FOF was in a massage parlour and got the customary hard on. When he turned over the girl asked him if a hand job was in order. The sweat flew from his fevered brow with his frantic nodding. "OK, I'll be back in 10 minutes then", was her reply. He felt suitably tiny at that point.
(Thu 2nd Feb 2006, 16:16, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Supercilious Porter vs. Yank Tourist
An American tourist once asked a porter at Trinity College, Cambridge whether the college was "pre-war" or not. He replied (in a John Gielgud accent), "Madam, this college is pre-America".
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 8:01, More)

» Claims to Fame

Bond and Saint
My father-in-law was a lighting engineer at Pinewood studios. He worked on On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Diamonds Are Forever and Live and Let Die. He also worked on Space 1999 and has a diary given to all the crew from Martin Landau and Barbara Bach. He worked on The Mackintosh Man and has an ashtray etched with the names of the director (John Huston) and the star (Paul Newman).

Via my Norwegian Mum I'm a distant descendant of St. Brigitta of Sweden. ( www.boydell.co.uk/51157270.HTM )
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 22:32, More)