b3ta.com user weevilstepmother
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By day, evil sysadmin, by night evil stepmother. Lucky me.

If you're interested...

See my anims here

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Best answers to questions:

» Lies Your Parents Told You

I am somewhat guilty
When my little boy was three or four we read a book from the library about a mummy and a little boy. The little boy kept being naughty and the mummy got so cross she sprouted a long green tail, then ears, then wings, then scales and turned progressively into a monster until the little chap started behaving himself.

For a long, long time after reading that book, if he was misbehaving and couldn't be reasoned with, I would rub the small of my back and say I could feel a tail starting to grow. Instant co-operation!

Do any of you other lying parents out there find yourselves having to bite the insides of your cheeks to stop you laughing when trying to be stern or is it just me?
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 14:50, More)

» Best Comebacks

Not a response to an insult as such
but still one I am proud of:

Departmental boss at WHSmith busy sorting out Christmas party stuff, grabbed me as I went past: - "weevil, do you drink red wine?"

Me:- "Of course." *puzzled look* "What else would I do with it?"
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 15:40, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

My Dear Old Gran
now sadly departed, could be a bit of a fruit cake at times. When seeing me for the last time before I went off to Uni, she told me that the recipe for being happy was to avoid "religion, politics, and those lesbians."

Now I come to think about her, I also remember her asking me what I wanted for my birthday. This being the early 80's and me being an impressionable young teenager, I replied as a throwaway comment "Seb Coe please gran".

My birthday arrived and my gran said very seriously, "I'm sorry dear, you'll have to make do with this. I ordered Seb Coe but they delivered Steve Ovett instead and I had to send him back."
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 15:46, More)

» Dad Jokes

Upon sighting a "Pick your own Strawberries" sign
you brace yourself for the inevitable "Blow your own raspberries!"

that is all
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 10:31, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

The last thing to make me cry was the impact between my motorbike and a 4x4 last Sunday. I stood by the side of the road and cried like a girl. Possibly because I am one.

Later, at the hospital, the Dr confirmed I had a fractured arm. Could I twist my forearm at all, he asked. I managed a minute movement in each direction. "Ah!" he said triumphantly to the medical student next to him. "It's not that she _can't_ move it, she just doesn't want to because it will hurt." Well duh. He proved his point by grabbing it and twisting from side to side. I may have had a little cry at this point too...
(Fri 15th Apr 2005, 12:18, More)
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