b3ta.com user Not an onanist, honestly
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Profile for Not an onanist, honestly:
Profile Info:

I wish I had Photoshop at work.

That is all.

Recent front page messages:

Quick one on MSPaint.
Click for bigger (182 kb)
(Tue 19th Jan 2021, 12:41, More)

Best answers to questions:

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

I asked a Scottish farmer...
if he'd consider replacing his cattle prod with an electric guitar.

He said he preferred acoustic.
(Sat 28th Aug 2021, 7:29, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Shakespeare did most of his daily writing before he'd even put on his stockings.
Prose before hose.
(Sat 28th Aug 2021, 7:30, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

When I told my doctor I was having trouble saying the words 'nectarine' and 'apricot'
he sent me to a peach therapist.
(Sat 28th Aug 2021, 7:28, More)

» Injured Siblings

Stairs bobsleigh
I'm 10 and my brother is 8.
I say, "Bet you couldn't fit in that suitcase."
He says he can and does so.
I close and lock it.
I then proceed to drop it down the steepest set of stairs in the world (that happen to be in my house).

He repaid this cruelty a few years later by throwing a sledgehammer over a tree and hitting me on the head. I bled profusely and was set on the way to becoming the mentally astute man I am today as a consequence...
(Fri 19th Aug 2005, 10:20, More)