» Breakin' The Law

On a bus at night time...
with my chum, who is ever so slightly mad. bus stops as usual, but it sounds like quite a few people get on, making rather a lot of noise...
sounds like they are coming upstairs (where we were sat) and out pop a lovely and rather rat arsed posse of rudeboys.
now, it turns out that these rudeboys know my friend quite well. one in particular knows him very well - my friend battered his little brother into unconsciousness whilst 'under the influence' my friend although mad, is not totally stupid, and noes not provoke the posse as there are around 9 of them, so we wait for them to get off. they dont. i listen to what they are talkin about (underneath the drunken banter)and they are planning to 'cap' us, i quickly tell this to my friend, and for the first time i see panic in his mad eyes...
then, the leader of the posse gets up staggers to look at us, and says something like
"'ere, i know you, you fooked up ma bro! rite thats it, you is gonna get battered, rite 'ere rite now!" and then takes a fighting stance. whilst this been going on i seem to read my friends mind and ring the police behind the seat (townies to drunk to notice what i was doing)
my friend proceeded to stall the rudeboys till the cops show up they powerslide infront of the bus, force entry, leg it up the stairs, and nick all of the townies for underage drinking, another cop hit the leader over the head with his truncheon cos he was about to leap on my friend, t'was funny indeed. it was pretty pant wetting at the time, but we laughed afterwards.
sorry bout the rant, just reliving memories.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 21:45, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Sunday Dinner...
There we were, my family and I sat round the table on a beautiful Sunday, having an equally beautiful Sunday lunch consisting of a damn fine slab of beef, which my sister helped to prepare.
My sister, who lacks somewhat in table etiquette was eating with her fingers at the time. To this my Dad asks her if she knows where her hands have been since she last washed them. My sister replied with this immortal statement.

"oh, dont worry Dad, i washed my hands just now, after i beat the meat."

i laughed till i hurt. and then laughed some more.
(Thu 13th Jan 2005, 22:54, More)

» Scars with history

where to begin...
I have an S shaped scar covering my entire scalp due to some severely fooked up problem with my skull when i was a very small person (Craniosynstosis). so, skull surgery at a few months old eh? Yes. Twice, they messed it up the first time. twats.
This isnt me, but this is essentially what it looked like, if your squeamish, look the fook away... www.geocities.com/grinch102/6thDayPostOpIncision.JPG

oh, and i have some scars on my upper lip under my nose, from where i was running around wearing naught but a firemans helmet, when i tripped and bounced down my brand new cement garden steps, catching my lip/nose on the last one. That made me think again about running around naked, now i only do it if everything is covered in pillows, and there is a firemans hat available.

nice eh?

N
(Tue 8th Feb 2005, 22:36, More)

» Slang Survey

scummers anyone?
as well as callin em townies etc, i call the particularly nasty ones "scummers" and since my school os based next to one of the worst estates in England, i see a fair few...

also, as they enjoy abbreviating words into unrecognisable phrases, how bouts "shup-ya-gay" for a phrase of the moment. they also like the word 'rush' at the moment eg "im gonna rush you tonight!" and 'boo' as in "yeah, that be boo!"
they are like a lesser evolved species, its so sad... but they keep us entertained all the same!
(Wed 4th Feb 2004, 20:22, More)