b3ta.com user MissPrism
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for MissPrism:
Profile Info:

I do SCIENCE for a living. This is me with Cromagnon, kindly pixelated by Mictoboy:

Occasionally I write silly lyrics, some of which the ultratalented Doghorse has recorded. Try The Daily Mail Guide to the Internet, A Beautiful Day in Guantanamo Bay, or for truly hard-hitting commentary on relevant issues, Fuck off with telling me what you ate for lunch.

The also unfeasibly talented Eclectech has made four of them into corking animations:
A Tribute to Robert Kilroy-Silk (warning: bottoms),
The Petting Zoo (warning: rude lyrics),
An Instructional Teleplay (warning: otters in frocks), and
Smirk a little Smirk (commendation: wait 'til the end and you'll get to spang Tony Blair with a rather fine Le Creuset).

You can contact me at my username at gmail dot com. I also have a blog.
Here is a poem about me:
I Like Cheese And I Like Beer
I like Lager and Gruyere
I like Cheddar, I like Ale
I like Stout and Wensleydale
I like Gouda, I like Stella
I like Beck's and Mozarella
I like Edam, I like Fosters
I like Grolsch and Double Gloucester
I like Boursin, I like Carlsberg,
I like Newkie Brown and Jarlsberg
I don't like Quorn or Herbal Teas -
I Like Beer And I Like Cheese!

American Addendum:
Starr Hill Pale and Humboldt Fog,
Great Hill Blue and Flying Dog
Are hard to find, but worth the graft-
It isn't all Bud Lite and Kraft.

Obligatory Photo Of My Cats
Current technology allows an almost limitless exchage of information and ideas; people use it to show each other pictures of their cats. I find this truly uplifting.

Recent front page messages:

Part 1: The Vet
(Tue 14th Dec 2004, 2:53, More)

(Thu 29th Jan 2004, 14:54, More)

He knew it was dangerous. He knew it was wrong.

But he just couldn't stop.
(Mon 27th Oct 2003, 16:27, More)

First draft, verse 1: The Zoo Vet's Paintmash Anthem

Sunshine Elephant would've done it better.
More verses will follow if I think of any.
edit: My first front page! Ooooo!
That's made my week. Thankyou thankyou!
(Fri 4th Jul 2003, 12:39, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Mini Cabs From Hell

This happened this week in America.
Cab driver: Hey, I hear y'all don't have guns in England.
Me: That's right, we don't.
(Incredulous pause)
Cab driver: Then what do you use?
(Thu 27th May 2004, 2:02, More)

» Irrational Fears

Old china dolls with glass eyes scare me
but that's not really irrational.
They'd kill me given half a chance.
I know it.
edit: and I don't really like being underground, or in a big crowd.
I'm also scared of spiders, although not to an interesting extent.
(Tue 27th Jan 2004, 13:34, More)

» Things you've done when you've had no money.

I busked once
when I'd run out of beer/tapas money in Barcelona.
I made a sign saying 'Talentless, please help' in English and Catalan, then sang a medley of comic verse.
After 45 minutes a bloke started being sleazy at me so I scarpered, but I'd got the equivalent of fifteen pounds - a far better rate of pay than my current job in academic science.

edit: I should probably mention that I can't actually sing very well.
(Fri 8th Oct 2004, 18:28, More)

» Dad Jokes

If I spill something,
my dad says "Don't do that, you'll spill it!"
If my brother trips over, he says "Don't do that, you'll trip over!"
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 10:14, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

The Laboratory Ice Bucket Challenge
Everyone sticks a finger in a bucket of iced water, and the one who can stand it longest wins.
It's a test of stubbornness in the face of pointless discomfort - good training for a life in scientific research.
(Tue 30th Mar 2004, 23:47, More)
[read all their answers]