b3ta.com user Lynxkitten
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Silly bint.

I've been zombied by the excellent HappyToast

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Best answers to questions:

» Terrible Parenting

Bouncy Castle
We used to visit theme parks with my mums's 3 friends & their kids when I was young. My mum's best friend Viv was looking after us all on the bouncy castle while my mum & the other two mums went off roller skating. When the ride was done, Viv duly handed back all our shoes to us as we came off the ride. Unfortuantely for her she ended up with a pair of shoes but no child to put in them.
She realised in horror that it was my younger brother (3 at the time) who'd gone walkabout just as my mum & mates returned from the roller rink. According to my mum, Viv was white as a sheet and gabbling apologies when mum pointed out that my brother was stood behind her just a few feet away. Viv's expression at that moment is still something that reduces my mum to giggles whenever she tells the story.
(Thu 16th Aug 2007, 10:24, More)

» Pet Names

a mate of mine at work has two corn snakes..
called Kellogg and Crunchy Nut.
(Thu 26th Feb 2004, 9:36, More)

» Worst Record Ever

Slade - Merry Christmas
Christmas is complete HELL for me. This gets played over and over in every bloody shop across the country. 3 things accompany the playing of this song for me:
1) involuntary muscle spasms
2)immediate uncontrolled grinding of the teeth
3)a total mental and aural shutdown.
Remember the bit in Scanners - that look on their faces just before their head goes bang? I go like that.
I wish Slade a horrible and timely death involving rusty spoons and possibly ferrets.

This is the major reason for embracing Internet shopping at this time of year - saviour from the Slade and all the screaming children. God bless the Net.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2003, 9:23, More)

» * PFFT *

Uncle Dave
is reknowned in our family for producing the foulest farts. I fondly recall an incident 14 or so years ago on a car rally/treasure hunt where our car pulled up behind a battered old white metro stuffed with 5 of my family including Uncle Dave. Suddenly the doors were flung open, screams and crys of "oh God", "Sweet Jesus" and other prayers for salvation as everyone bar Dave fled the car. Much coughing & swearing from the poor sods who got caught in his stench, while in the back seat Dave turned to face our car with the biggest grin on his face. But it was the thumbs up he gave that still makes me cackle like a loon.
(Wed 18th Jul 2007, 14:25, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

singing in my car
windows down, music on very loud and singing my heart out. and occasionally dancing in my seat too - have made many people in M25 traffic jams laugh at me but I usually don't care and sometimes they join in.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 11:34, More)
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