b3ta.com user Ravenous Bugblatter Beast
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Recent front page messages:


(Thu 24th Dec 2009, 18:50, More)

Clippy and the Daleks: Episode #4 - The worm that turned

Previous Episodes: One Two Three
This Episode Again: Full Size
(Sat 3rd Apr 2004, 0:50, More)

Low budget "shopping"

Previous efforts: 1 2
(Sat 11th Oct 2003, 22:36, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Work Experience

The best IT job in the world
It was a university gap year placement rather than school work experience but back in the younger days of the Internet, a manager of the company became aware that there were people in the office surfing porn sites and asked did I know of any way they could block it?

Back then they didn't have filtering programs, so I told him the only thing I could do was manually blacklist the individual URLs on the proxy server. Hence I was paid to spend three days checking if likely looking URLs in the cache really were porn sites.

Of course being a diligent employee I felt I had to make a thorough evaluation of each one to ensure it really did contain pornographic content. It was amazing how many colleagues found reasons to stop by my desk that week.
(Thu 10th May 2007, 11:23, More)

» I should have been arrested

I recommend you don't post an answer to this question from an O2 mobile

(Thu 26th Jan 2012, 20:37, More)

» Irrational Hatred

I think you need to be a bit fewer uptight!

(Thu 31st Mar 2011, 23:10, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

The trouble is I.T. support now *expect* callers to be idiots and ask us stupid questions

Me (After spending 20 minutes paying to wait in a queue):

"I can't access any web sites over HTTP on port 80, but I can if I use HTTP on any other port. HTTPS, FTP, Mail and all other protocols are working fine and I can ping the web servers in question. Can you check if there is a problem with your transparent web cache?"

Blueyonder support:

Ok, can you tell me the status of the lights on your cable modem

I can't remember how many other pointless steps I had to go through before they'd give me the IP of their old proxy server, but it inspired (pearoast):

Telewest engineers were busy working on the latest server problem...

Needless to say there was a problem with their transparent proxies which they finally recognised and fixed a few hours later.
(Tue 30th Dec 2003, 0:57, More)

» Worst Band Ever

All of them
(Fri 31st Dec 2010, 1:42, More)
[read all their answers]