b3ta.com user DamienAustin
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I'm one of those people that likes to have a shit while I'm reading. This is also the reason why I'm banned from book stores.

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» Gyms

Here is another.

While I was a gym instructor at the south east London gym, a crowd of us stff were crowded around the desk, chatting and not really paying attention.

A client runs up to us and points to the treadmills and says someone needs help.
So two of us walk over there to find a 60 year old woman laying facedown on the floor, with her head jammed in between two of the machines.

Later we found out she had her water bottle on the floor between the two machines, and tried to bend down, while still walking to pick it up. She slipped and her head went straight into the two machines.

So we walk up to her, she isn't really making any noise, her treadmill is still going around the track and there is someone on the other treadmill, jogging.

I walk around the front and the guy running clearly knows she is there, jammed between his machine and her own. I ask him to stop and he says "I've only got a few minutes mate". I switch off his machine and force him to a stop.

We get her out and get her seated with a drink. She is just shaken up more than anything. She gives me her husband's phone number. I call him up and tell him that his wife has been in an accident and needs to be picked up.

His reply was "I ain't picking 'er up, tell her to get a fuckin' ambulance".

I wish I was making this up.
(Mon 13th Jul 2009, 7:01, More)

» Gyms

I am a fitness instructor and I used to work in as gym in south east London. I used to do boxing sparing with clients. One day this 20-something woman came up to me and asked if she could have a go.

We started the warm up and she mentioned she had just eaten, but not me not wanting the 32DD's walking away, I insisted that she continued.

After five minutes, she looked at me and clutched her mouth and ran to the toilet. She only made it half way there before sick was projected through there fingers. She carried on running to the toilet and left a trail of a watery cheese and sweetcorn jacket potato all the way.

I grabbed a mop and started to clean it up, I was already right at the end of my shift and it was a friday night, so I just left the mop and bucket in the cleaning cupboard without cleaning it, assuming the night cleaners would when they got there.

Monday morning comes, 7am the wanker of a Manager walks in and comments that the gym needs spot mopping. I am tired and walk to the cupboard and put the bucket straight under the tap and pour soap in it.

I drag the bucket and start to spot mop.

I knew there was a funny smell, but I thought that it was whatever I was mopping up. I do a quick job, basically throwing the water around the gym and rubbing it in with the mop.

After 10 minutes, the smell was unbearable. After another 10 minutes, customers were complaining, the air conditioning had taken it, not only all over the gym, but the cafe area too.

I found out the the night cleaners didn't work over the weekend, inlcuding Friday night. The sick had been fermentating in the bucket for 3 days before I scrubbed it right back into the floor.
(Mon 13th Jul 2009, 6:50, More)

» Failed Projects

I work with kids,
I was playing a game with a kid who is 5 but developed mentally about 2, we were playing with building blocks when he peed himself.
His Mum was in the room next door, so I walked him over and told her what had happened. She explained that I shouldn't have been tickling him because he always pees himself when being tickled.
I told her that I didn't touch him and she took him home to get changed. They returned ten minutes later and he was looking sad standing next to his Mum. So I shouted his name, ran towards him all excited like, when he screamed and pissed himself again.
(Fri 4th Dec 2009, 9:16, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

I still super glue money to the pavement.
(Sun 20th Sep 2009, 4:09, More)