» How I Skive Off Work

I got paid to do absolutely nothing once.
No kidding. I went to a warehouse and had no supervisor, with nobody to tell me what to do. From time to time they'd get a bit busy and ask me to move some boxes or something, but for the best part of 8 hours a day I walked round the warehouse trying to look busy. It wasn't easy either- there were people and cameras everywhere, so I had to look like I was doing something all the time. I spent my time picking up pieces of paper, walking, straightening boxes, walking, looking slightly confused, walking, sweeping the aisles, walking, moving palette trucks, walking. One of the worst jobs I had, but it's nice to know that I wasted so much money for the company, and nobody knew what I was doing there!

I worked in another warehouse for the same company. They made me clean under all the pallets when there was no work to do. That sucked. I remember getting pissed off at having to sweep the aisles every day, so when they had some visitors, I swept up all the concretey dust and made a cloud large enough to fill half the warehouse. They asked me to do not much more all day and spent the rest of the afternoon doing even less than sweeping the aisles.
(Tue 3rd May 2005, 20:32, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

Doesn't really count but...
I worked for a distribution company one summer that took orders for a certain overpriced supermarket and heard this little gem:

1st Worker: Have you got any Irish orders?
2nd Worker: You mean blank ones?
Laughter
Pause
1st Worker: (Slightly confused) No, I mean have you got any orders from Ireland?

We had to work in a large fridge too, and we were told we'd be there for 8 hours a night. Some teenage girl twunt came in with a stupid amount of skin showing and shivered all night.

They also told us "Don't try to steal anything. It's not worth it. What are you going to steal? An orange?".
Huh, people who steal something worth less than an hour's work are stupid.
(Fri 2nd Jan 2004, 23:49, More)